CRESH - Crap ham, stinky Brie, gin and lol'ing at birth plan believers

[AlpinePony]

Heeyah.

Me either meds you would have thought she wouldn't want to ruin the 'work' but then I guess she can afford to have them sorted again later (along with a tuck)

Sprout is making me giggle today. She keeps grabbing her top with her left hand and shouting and batting at the toy with her right. It's like she can't quite get both actions in the same hand to achieve what she wants :o (plus she ends up flashing) oh dear, I think I may need to get out more.

Pls to share tips on brushing teef.

I'm letting MB chew on the brush but whether that is classed as brushing......

She'd made it very clear before giving birth that she intended to give her daughter breastmilk. I always assumed it would be done in the same way that Elton John gives his child breastmilk.

The article says that VB can't be far from the child due to nursing (or words to that effect) so I assumed bf.

Alpro so it's her nanny that feeds da baybee?

Well, last day before mother goes home and we've done hardly anything I needed to get done. Been riding once and it's pissing down this morning so I'll pass today. I got other stuff to do that's more pressing than getting soaked. If I had a comp fit hoss then sure but he's not. So no need.

I've still no clothes for going back to work!!

Silva that's pretty much the brushing technique that applies 'round these parts. Sometimes he even chews on the end with the bristles on it . I'll usually try and grab a hold and give it a bit of a wiggle in the appropriate part of his mouth, but that's about it.

We are having a barbie this weekend and inviting mainly just local friends/neighbours. Occurred to us last night that there are going to be about 15 adults and 10 children under 7 in our garden this Sunday. Eek.

Maybe this is finally the opportunity to reinflate my birthing pool for the kids to play in? Cue: "what's that floating in the water Mummy?"

silv Who knows for sure? Only thing I am sure of is that Elton ain't producing his own breastmilk! I think the woman's a twat of the highest order and I detest the way the media fawn over her, making a big deal out of "working" until she was almost ready to be sliced. Um, my friend was operating on animals AFTER her due date, that vapid twat points at a drawing of a dress and sneers. Not what I'd call working.

We use the same tooth brushing method. Why complicate things?

I think she?s bfed them all, iirc she has made comments before about it helping her get her figure back. Um, no I think that?s the personal trainer love.

Chewing on the brush was what the hv recommended to me. Helps them get used to the feeling and be relaxed about it rather than forcing actual brushing on them.

How strange, I'm sure I've read before (and on mn) that the boys were formula but Princess Cupcake was going to get only the very best. Lying ho.

Maybe I?m imagining it!

Speaking of imagination - muser - didn't you say you were going to have your first driving lesson a couple of saturdays ago? How did it go?

Well remembered Alps. It went well. Didn't crash into anything anyway. Maybe next time. Next one is on Sunday. I have endless weeks of this ahead of me.

My driver instructor was a funny man. Wore tons of aftershave and called me chicken whenever I hesitated at junctions.

Costa you iz funny! The beanpole prob didn't even put on any weight other than on her bump anyway. Bet she had her entourage looking after her kids whilst she rested prior to popping. Not exactly your average family eh. alps I agree on her version of being a working mum being worlds away from that of a real woman. I'll think of her when I'm at my desk soon and I'm having a biatch of a day and sitting on my hands so as to not cause harm to my colleagues. I'll wonder "oooohhh what would VB do in this situation?" and then I'll call my PA to delegate. Solv-ED.

Has everywhere got the fecking Perfect Storm going on or is it only here?

Sunshine up here silvs

Re VB, I wouldn?t want to be in her position though would you? Everyone inspecting every move you make. No thanks.

My driving instructor had a full beard, complete with dandruff. Yuk.

My driving instructor was called Richard Head. Oh yes.

We have the storm down here Silv. Hasn't stopped pissing it down all day. I am returning to work tonight at t'supermarket. Oddly, I am rather looking forward to going as I will get to talk to grown ups and stacking shelves is very good for shifting cake baby weight.

I can't stand VB. I just don't get it - I mean what does she actually do? I can't imagine why people and press are so fascinated with her.

Right, must make dinner or else I won't be eating before work. I won't get home until 12.30am so I reckon that is prolly a little a bit late for sausage and butterbean hotpot.

My first instructor yelled at me when I hit the kerb on my first lesson. I didn't call her back. My second instructor was a feeb my mum met whilst walking the dogs. Did loads of lessons, failed. My m&d said I'd "failed deliberately to piss them off" which put me off somewhat. Started lessons again at 23 with a hunk 'o' spunk from BSM - finally passed third time out. JB otoh, passed his practical first time just a few months ago, but did however fail his theory first time - one of his failed questions was "Should you take your seatbelt off for safety reasons whilst driving over water?" "Y/N". Imagine our japes driving to Amsterdam yesterday across all those rivers & canals!

My first driving instructor had a full White beard complete with nicotine stains. He used to smoke while teaching (just shows you how long ago it was) he reminded me of a goat. My second was a friend of my mums but an utter bitch while teaching, awkward. My third was a geezer but very good. Yup, 3 instructors and 5 (yes, 5) tests. I could drive I just went to pieces on test day.

Sunny up here too and I also loathe that beckam woman. She is utterly rancid.

rocket Me too, driving OK - but nerves - mind you, I still have that. :( My first test was in London, 11:30am on payday. :( x 100000. To exit the test centre I had to come out of a high-walled drive across the pavement into a road just off the high street. When the woman with the pram shrieked I should've just reversed back in to the test centre and saved myself the following pointless 20 minutes.

It's raining meow cats and woofy dogs down here it is. Can't see any birdies in the sky at all at the moment. My vocabulary appears to be in somewhat of a downward curve at the moment.

My driving test was so many years ago I had a man walking in front of the car carrying a flag. I hear they expect one to know the highway code before getting in front of the wheel these days? Whatever that is.

Behind the wheel, even. Even back then we did did drive forwards, not backwards..

Hello, just been wittering in the deli about dummies rocket and realised it would be better put here. I gave Bitey bach a dummy last night after realising he was using me as a dummy and could also be settled by the finger in the mouth trick. He spat it out after twenty minutes but that was at least long enough for me to go for a wee on my own. I've been on anti-biotics following an infected episiotomy and I think they made his stomach a bit gripey so am hoping that things will be calmer now that I have finished the course. I am a bit worried abut the dire consequences re nipple confusion that a lot of the books caution will result from dummy usage but after about twenty hours of my nipple in an angry mouth I was more worried that I was going to run screaming for the hills never to return! I suppose my point is that whatever gets you through the night is alright. (Is that a song?)

My health visitor has given me the best news ever re: cheese. She said that the best way to get your calories up and produce loads of lovely milk is to have some cheese with every meal and as a snack whenever you can. I luff her, I luff cheese. Bitey bach has gained a whole pound in the space of a week and I am sure it is down to all the cheddar I have been stuffing!

It's been a bit of a hair raising three weeks of mother hood, the FDH lost the second week of his paternity leave to being ill with cyclic vomitting syndrome (puking every twenty minutes for days), I grew a corking infection, yesterday I had to rush my mother into hospital with a suspected TIA and the FDH has just rung to say he has started puking again. Bitey Bach cannot be put down without getting extremely distressed but won't go in the baby carrier. The boy and I are doing OK though, and I just keep repeating to myself that this can only get easier!

Sorry about the essay, can only get to the computer on rare occasions and try to make the most of it!

What you eat has no effect on your milk, but don?t let that stop you eating lots of cheese I think you need it after that stressful couple of weeks!

do you have a something like a wrap sling? Bitey Bach might like snuggling in that.

cossie so are you saying it doesn't affect milk production or the taste? the BLW book reckons that bf babies are more likely to have varied tastes in solids as they are used to bm changing in flavour according to what the mother has eaten? Is this bobbins then?

Nice to see you bitey Sorry to hear things have been so tough. Definitely think a stretchy wrap (kari-me/moby) would be better biteybach at this stage than a more structured carrier. get thee to ebay.

No, sorry it doesn?t affect production / quality. It does definitely affect taste, which apparently is one of the reasons bf babies can take to more unusual flavours once solids are introduced.

Bitey Artie is too big for my moby now, you are welcome to try it out if you want.

bitey the technical term is PLR-parenting.

That's the Path of Least Resistance. I'm a huge fan of this method.