CRESH - Crap ham, stinky Brie, gin and lol'ing at birth plan believers

[AlpinePony]

Heeyah.

not caught up but Occers you have to have baths. To help the healing. 2 per day. Use tea tree oil, it is the biz. You need a shit load of salt in the bath to be of any benefit but only a couple of drops of tea tree. It also helps sore nips so it is basically good for nips and vag.

Right... will catch up properly later... I have to try and work out what clothes mini has in the house that resemble pirate attire for a 3rd birthday parteee tomorrow which I failed to see before now is fucking fancy dress, grrrr.

stripey t-shirt, head scarf and drawn on moustache okes. Job done.

Cheers alps. She's gone all lumpy/spotty down her hose and eye where she has been rubbing, so I def get the elephant man reference! At least SFF is stuck with the misery today - and the administration of the ointment.

And, it has actually been noticed that I have picked up all his work. Nothing done about it like, but noticed.

poor squeaks with the manky eye :(

I just went for the cuddling / singing / pulling faces school of entertainment.

I have just stopped a feed as the baby thought it was amusing to pinch my arm constantly during it. She is completely unbothered by the fact I stopped it. Minx.

I get that. Also I have a sticky out mole on my neck and he is obsessed with it! Plays with it whenever I pick him up.

I get that cossie. He tries to pick off a particularly lumpy mole off my neck the whole time. Next it will be "Mummy why does your tummy look so lumpy?".

Rocket give it a week to check not growth spurt and then I would seriously think about a routine with a late 11pm feed and then into bed and night weaning until 6.30am. Either the quick or less hardcore way, but whatever you decide you'll hopefully get your nights back!

Silver I'm not going to worry too much about rads. I think they will probably touch one once and then very quickly learn not to do that again! I'm not sure what else you do really. I'm not going to build radiator covers for the purpose that's for sure. It's a bit lke the bed. He hasn't fallen off one yet so as a result he thinks its a hilarious game to try and bungee jump whilst I hang on to one leg. Maybe I should let him! JOKE.

Re rads, luckily, Artie actually obeys you when you say no to him. So cute, he looks at you and then shakes his head back at you looking v solemn.

He did investigate the stairs the other day

we've only had heating on a few nights, and usually after she's in bed. But on the few occasions she's been able to come into contact, there hasn't been a problem (says me who ended in in A&E as a child after a radiator collision incident). The stairs freak me out, especially as she can climb them no problem. In fact, she climbs everything. And she'll go out the back door given half a chance

We're going to have to start lighting our coal fires soon. I am dreading it.

cossie I'm wondering if this shaking head thing is yet another thing which is instinctive - like the rubbing eyes thing we spoke of before. Bear also shakes his head and laughs hysterically when we do "Jim" from Vicar of Dibley. No no no no no no no no no no NO!

curly We'll have to light the wood burner (cheaper than central heating) - this is assuming of course I remember to phone the chimney sweep.

I have a head-shaker. Sometimes it means no, sometimes it's random. But she always does it when she's had enough Weetabix.

I've just ordered two fire guards (£50!!!!!). I am of your wood burner. Although we will be burning wood rather than coal, given how much tree damage occurred in our garden last week.

And we also need to phone the chimney sweep. Bugger.

And order some oil or we'll have no heating or hot water soon.

[bumpkin emoticon]

I am worried about the radiators. Mine is currently obsessed with anything she shouldn't really be playing with. She zooms over to the extension cord in the living room constantly, I caught her with it wrapped 3 times round her neck. We have a Tray of Crap (official name) which we tried to hide under the tv cabinet. She zooms over to it and sees what she can pull out to chew on. JUST PLAY WITH YOUR PILES OF PLASTIC TAT!

his is deffo meaning no, he doesn't do it randomly, only when he's refusing something, or you have told him no. We are trying to teach him to nod, but he just laughs.

muser Bear whipped a wooden spoon off the hob the other morning! He's touched the oven door before when it's been on, his wee fingers didn't linger long. But yes, anything they shouldn't have in their mouths? They make an absolute bloody bee-line for. Why would they want to play with a Fisher Price learning telephone when they can grab a real one and start making long-distance phone calls?

A TV remote will only hold a toddler's interest so long - I mean how many channels can you change/put on the radio/bring up a menu neither mum nor dad has ever seen before? Why not whip the back off and suck on a battery?

I'm not listening to all these things that are yet to come

Today's question: when I'm feeding how do I tell when one boob is 'drained' and we need to switch to the other one? At the moment her coming off is more likely to be initiated by me because she's moved and her latch has changed and it hurts, so I'm not getting a sense of 'that one's done, where's the next one?'. I don't want to either have her sucking on an empty boob, or be switching her too fast so she doesn't get enough hindmilk.

I've no idea whether the bath was good for my undercarriage, but it was certainly good for me. We'll just have to see whether we manage to keep this up....

Curls and Alps I'm very jealous of your burning things (whilst seeing they might have challenges with wee ones). We're in a smoke control area so all TH's investigations into wood burning stoves and things came to nothing which upset the pyromaniac in me somewhat.

occers it's my understanding that boobs don't ever really 'empty' as they produce milk as it's drained.(i can always hand express a little after taking her off) It will just slow down but if she's sucking she will be getting something. I had the same problem as Sprout rarely comes off of her own accord as she likes to comfort suck and I have got into the habit of taking her off when she stops doing the 'suck suck swallow' and is just doing the little rapid (hannibal lechter style) sucks other wise I would be there all day.

moo I am hoping it's just a growth spurt (she's been feeding like mad again today). I also think last night might have been that the nappy rash was bothering her and it kept waking her up or stopping her getting back to sleep. I haven't been able to get her to do a dream feed at 11 as she just doesn't wake up. The couple of times I have got her to have a feed it hasn't made any difference to what time she wakes for the next one all though it might be worth trying again as that was a while ago. I honestly don't mind the 5 am feed as by then I have had my core sleep but last night was horrendous and we have both been out of sorts all day. She's been really whingy which is not like her, again could be the nappy rash. Hopefully it was a blip. :S

Oc as a committed firestarter, I happen to know you can have a fire in a smoke-free zone if you use smoke-less fuel. Costs an arm and a leg, but is luvverly to snuggle up in front of a fire and imagine you are anywhere but London (sorry Londoners! Someone has to not like London, or millions of people would live there. Hang on... )

We don't have a radiator problem. My 400yr old hovel has super-modern underfloor heating power by a ground source heat pump. And fires, of course! We have a different problem, though. We can't put a stair gate at the top of the stairs because the wall is made of wattle and daub - basically cow poo and twigs. Fortunately LG is much more cautious than TT, and doesn't just fling himself down everywhere. He is very fond of pressing the ignition button on the hob though.

LG is also fond of the phone and the TV remote. So fond that we have replace them with new models and given him the old ones. He was only fooled for so long though.

LG can kind of say TT's name now. Tis very cute. He bellows it just before he bites her or pulls her hair. Aaah, sibling love!

PS Alps my sister once rushed her baby to A&E when he was seen one minute with the remote in his mouth, next minute the AAA battery in it was gone. Nothing was found by Xray, so they assumed he had removed it and then it had just rolled under the sofa or something.

occers it is hard to tell when one's drained whilst your supply is building up. Quite sound they will feel hard before a feed and then when you feed they'll be nice and soft and you'll know. For know, I'd give 20-30 minutes a side - er on the side of longer and you should get the hindmilk. You can see the bits at the side of their jaw and neck pulse as they suck and swallow so you know if the latch is right. Hang on in there, it won't be long before all this becomes v easy, your boobs settle down and they get MUCH quicker - like 5-10 mins a side.

We've got a head shaker here as well. When we say no, he looks at you mystified and then starts to giggle. Its v funny. When we had the christening, the priest actually asks the baby at the beginning if they want to enter the church or words to that effect. I have on camera, babymoo shaking his head,...

Stairs is actually really good Cossie. I don't have to carry his great weight up them any more! Down of course is another matter. I have no idea how you teach that bit.

I am scared we have created a monster with remotes/phones. He has serious tantrums when you remove them. Even more so now I have an iphone app of In the night garden...

I can't remember why we didn't go down the smokeless fuel route - I think something to do with it not being our house and having no chimney (but a fireplace thingy with no fittings for a gas fire or anything useful like that - who designs these things?!) and the hassle of putting it in being too much. TH bought a fancy barbecue instead.

Thanks for the milk-reassurance. The bit I'm hoping she susses soon is the latch - trying to get it right is taking forever some feeds. Mind you, it doesn't help when she keeps sticking her hands in her mouth even when my nipple is right in front of her. I've had to take to swaddling her just to keep them out of the way!

Teach them to use their bums HunnyMummy, one step at a time [nods]

Do you know it never occurred to me that radiators might be dangerous. Ours never get hot enough to cause any immediate damage, besides, if you need it so hot that your radiators will scald then surely you're living in the wrong country .

LC is now a dab hand with the zappers and can now play her DVDs without supervision [proud]

definitely keep up with swaddling for now as will help her relax. I actually started doing that again at 5 monhts when we were introducing the bottle. Also, dont put up with bad latch, just delatch and start again - she won't learn otherwise. You'll get there... it is bloody frustrating i know - particularly when your spending hours doing it every day!