Jelly and ice-cream and candle shopping here we come for our amazing ONE year olds!

[beaditAli]

Hope this covers it! Not sure what cakes we'd all be making so kept that out

May be nothing at all but didn't you say the babies stayed awake for the whole time that you were at Chester zoo on thier birthday sassy34264? Perhaps they were over tired? Luke is always harder to settle when he is really tired and then I often have to sit with him until he settles. I start by touching him and then just sit next to the cot until he's sleepy enough to go off.

Have a lovely day tomorrow lumpylumps and Happy birthday to ds1

yes, they did cinnamon but they did have 45 mins in the car on the way home. i would be thinking the same if it was just a one off but its been going on for last week or so, although i agree it was definately worse on their birthday- which is probably related to the chester zoo outing.

happy birthday to ds1 banana for tomorrow. (just incase i forget to say tomorrow) just one more sleep banana and then it will be here! ha.

If only Lucy would get to the falling asleep by herself stage. I feed her to sleep most nights then tiptoe upstairs and put her in my bed. Half the time she wakes so i get in and feed her. i wish i could leave her but dd2 would wake up and then i would be trying to get 2 to sleep. Maybe if we move dp can try settling her as she likes to sleep on him

Hi all, haven't posted for a while but keeping up. Happy birthday to tge big babies! Arlo is 4 oct so the youngest here I think. He has just learnt how to clap and wave when we say 'clap' or 'wave', which I have found so exciting as it feels like the first 'proper' communication iyswim, realise that he actually understands what I'm saying! Also tonight he did tge actions to 'here is tge church and here is tge steeple..' when I turned to that page in his book, before I even said anything. I'm convinced he's a genius . He still won't crawl though, is so fast on his feet with me holding him, can walk with just one hand held now. I'm sure it's great for my thighs and bum, bending over to walk him round all day, but I'd really rather sit and watch, or at least be able to stand up straight while I chase after him! But he cries so much when I put him on his front still, I'm sure he's never going to be a crawler.

Sassy how was tonights settling?? Olly was fine. hot milk & I winded him (haven't done that for a good couple of months now!) and he went straight off!

Debs how does she not fall out of bed??

Dh is the same as you sassy34264, having being in a very controlling relationship he now won't be told what to do. When we were first together he didn't know how to compromise, it was all about winning not finding a middle ground and if he let me have my way he had lost and was not prepared to do that. Have had to teach him that I'm trying to find a way to suit us both a that he doesn't have to fight me over everything!! I don't work the same way as his ex in anyway and it's hard when he instantly assumes the worst motives which are miles from what I'm thinking. Hard to explain really and very sad to see a person you love being so defensive.

Luke has walked so much today it's scary! Still drops to his bum after 6-7 steps but as soon as he can pull himself up he's off again and he managed to change direction while walking today!

Go Arlo with the clapping and waving, amazing how much they understand already! Ds1 hated being on his tummy Dixiebell but he did crawl, it took until he was 11months and 3 weeks though!

banana no problems at all, they didnt even cry! but i have put them to bed an hour later than normal as im too tired for the 6am starts that have started to creep back again. too many variables for me to be sure which one is having the effect as i have come to bed with them as well, but my gut instinct tells me its the milk.
cinnamon slightly different perspective from me than your dh i think. i dont feel the need to get my own way and i'm quite prepared to compromise. i dont need to win every argument or decision, if his argument or decision is better i will agree no problems. mine isnt a control thing, its a need not to be walked all over and taken advantage off. if hes taking the piss, letting me do all the work with the babies or choosing to go out with his mates every weekend instead of a reasonable (imo) every other weekend because he thinks i'll put up with it- then no- i wont. i get upset at him missing/forgetting my birthday for 2 years in a row or the fact that he didnt even get me flowers after babies were born- thats the things that i mean. thats taken someone for granted and walking all over them in my opinion and believe me he knows about it. im not bottling anything up like i did last time .

forgot to say debs that i know what you mean about not wanting to deal with 2 children rather than just one. i did the same with jacob when he started to wake earlier than isobel (i mentioned it in a past post) i was jumping up and putting him in bed with me to get an extra hour in bed, but he just started to wake every morning at the same time out of routine. decided id rather have a week of dealing with 2 babies at 5am while they learn its not happening, than a future of always having to put jacob in bed with me at 5am. iyswim? im a big believer that when you give in for the easy life- you actually get a harder one. or maybe i cant stand even babies walking all over me- it has crossed my mind!

think i best shut up- before you all start thinking im seriously f*+@ed up!

Lumpy I have a bed guard inbetween mine and dd2's bed so she can't roll out that side and I tend to sleep on the other side. She doesn't tend to roll that much she usually spins around more.
I would prefer her in a cot, especially as I bought her one and she has only spent about 10 hours in it. I keep saying when we move we will sort bedrooms out but as I wanted to move before she was born it seems like a far off dream.

Afternoon all I'm feeling really :( and dh was too busy to talk so I thought I'd pour my heart out to you all. It probably sounds very silly once I've written it down but it's a long running thing that I feel that although the mums I see around talk to me I never get invited to things and feel pretty friendless most of the time. We went to the park today and saw a group of mums all by one of whom I knew pretty and several have invited us to their childrens birthday partys, 2 are on the preschool committee with me so have been out together several times and one was the lady who organised our evening out a while ago where we got the car locked in. They are all very friendly with me when we are at groups or school and I don't ever feel that they have a problem with me but despite several of them having my number and having said to them if you fancy a cuppa over the holidays let me know not one of them had invited me. They all said hello and I chatted to a couple for a bit but wasn't invited to join the group. Perhaps I'm being unreasonable and you can all put it in perspective but I just couldn't wait to get out of there, I don't know if it's me or because I childmind but I rarely get invited to things and I find it really hard. I'm the kind of person who likes to be liked and I don't what I do that makes me get excluded from things when people are so friendly to me when we're about, they don't have to talk to me after all as they all have their own friends that they are clearly part of a group with. It's like being at school again and I really can't help feeling hurt :(

Cinnamon I'm sorry your so down, if I lived near you I'd be popping in for a brew everyday! In fact you'd struggle to get rid of me. I know it sounds a bit brazen but next time just plonk yourself down next to them and join in the conversation! Sometimes it's a fear of not being liked that makes it difficult to feel accepted, trust me I have this problem myself, have a hug and if I knew how to do the little cuppa icon I'd do that too.

Little rant of my own, I'm feeling pretty shitty recently. Things a still a bit tense with dp although not as bad as it was. I think I'm just starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with the monotany (is that a word) of daily life. I feel like all I do is wash, clean, cook and look after grace which leaves me exhausted and with very little time for me and dp cause I'm knackered by 9pm and I'm starting to wish that I just had a little bit of me time sometimes. I never ever just get to be me anymore, I'm always mum of girlfriend who seems to fail at everything. Can I not just be care free claire for an afternoon! We're really skint and as much as I love being at home with grace I'm really wanting to get a job. I'd prefer evenings so we don't have any childcare but dp isn't keen as it'd mean even less time together but if we have to pay childcare we'd be just as skint. I'm just totally fed up today, and grace has started waking at night again :(

Cinnamon I'm sorry your so down, if I lived near you I'd be popping in for a brew everyday! In fact you'd struggle to get rid of me. I know it sounds a bit brazen but next time just plonk yourself down next to them and join in the conversation! Sometimes it's a fear of not being liked that makes it difficult to feel accepted, trust me I have this problem myself, have a hug and if I knew how to do the little cuppa icon I'd do that too.

Little rant of my own, I'm feeling pretty shitty recently. Things a still a bit tense with dp although not as bad as it was. I think I'm just starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with the monotany (is that a word) of daily life. I feel like all I do is wash, clean, cook and look after grace which leaves me exhausted and with very little time for me and dp cause I'm knackered by 9pm and I'm starting to wish that I just had a little bit of me time sometimes. I never ever just get to be me anymore, I'm always mum of girlfriend who seems to fail at everything. Can I not just be care free claire for an afternoon! We're really skint and as much as I love being at home with grace I'm really wanting to get a job. I'd prefer evenings so we don't have any childcare but dp isn't keen as it'd mean even less time together but if we have to pay childcare we'd be just as skint. I'm just totally fed up today, and grace has started waking at night again :(

awh sweetheart, sorry they make you feel like that. there doesnt seem to be anything wrong with you, as far as i can see, and if you lived closer i'd come round for a cuppa.
i remember you saying something about maybe they might blame you? carpark lock in or something? do you think thats it?
im the opposite really. i keep myself to myself and im really quite unsociable when it comes to other mums- im the type that turns up a bit late at the school gate so i dont have to chat. im friendly enough but i cant get into the whole my child this and my child that! plus it doesnt bother me if they like me or not. but i can see that if you are bothered it would hurt.

not sure what to suggest really, other than asking them why they dont include you - which i know would be a hard thing to do. could you ring a couple of them and invite them to the park or playgroup maybe?

had a terrible night last night- a woman on my oct 11 thread is expecing twins and she is also on the twins thread i use to be on. she asked me if id known magic8 (and i do) she said she had died on monday. she has a 4yr old and 6 month twins. i never met her obviously but i was heartbroke, had to phone dp. couldnt stop crying. i think its the realisation that one day you're living and the next your not. and plus i coulfnt bare it if i left these motherless.

Aww sassy how horrible! How old was she? Had she been poorly? The thought of those babies never remembering her is just too heartbreaking for words. I hope you're ok.

i dont remember but i pretty sure she was younger than me- most are.
i looked on the twins thread last night and someone who knows her in rl said they dont know what she died of yet, but that she had a pre-existing heart condition, so they are assuming its that. they said she died at home. im ok now, was just the tragic ness of it and thinking how awful it must be to grow up with no mum.
sorry to hear about you newmum. i was about to post something about you being absent and hoping you are ok. big hugs. its so hard isnt it. i remember when i first began seeing dp and i use to chat his head off and one day he more or less told me to shut up. i burst in to tears and explained that i stare at 4 walls all day long and the only other person i had spoke to that day was a shopkeeper. chloe was 2 at the time.
best job i ever had that made me feel better was in a pub. it wasnt long hours and i use to do my hair and put some slap on and get to chat to the locals and feel human, with little stress. pay was crap mind. but if you can get cash in hand its not so bad. have you thought about that? i know it means seing dp less but it might make it more quality time rather than just quantity.
oh for feck sake how many times will jacob crawl behind the couch and get stuck, scream his head off until he learns?!!!!! off to remove him again.

I dont think it's anything to do with the night out sassy34264, I think r was me who blamed myself really and I have been to her daughters party since then and she invited me for coffee one day. Dh always says they're not worth worrying about but it's nice to have friends and feel included. I also hate the child boasting/comparing but it's nice to chat to people with things in common. I have my best friend who is next door and I see a lot but would prefer to have new friends. I was very lonely at school and my dad told me if I was too needy people wouldn't want to play with me so I tend not to push myself on people as that has stuck with me! When I went to upper school at 13 I found a lot of friends an had a great 5 years including my A levels and have been more confident since but there is still the bullied lonely girl inside especially in those circumstances!

Sorry to hear that newmum001, I have a friend who feels the same and her son is starting preschool in September so she is going to work even though it will basically be for nothing when you factor in Childcare just so she can have something for herself. I know lots of people who get fed up of day to day life but to me it's a dream! To be at home with my children, cleaning my house much more often than I do know and watching tv! I'm sorry you feel you're crap at everything which I'm sure is not the case. You don't have to go out though to spend time with dp, make it a nice evening in once grace has gone to bed. Have you told him how you feel? Perhaps have a night t your sisters to just be you watching a film, eating and chatting!

That's really sad sassy34264, I can't imagine leaving my babies without me :(

Cinnamon I'm just like you. I need to be liked but won't push myself onto people! I have no helpfull suggestion about the park situation! could each one have thought the other might ask you?? Do they realise you want to be included?? Could they have all been together somewhere else and agreed to meet up?? I'm sure it wasn't a conscious "lets not invite her" situation. I'd be hurt too tho!

newmum the monotony is that you wash, cook & clean and by the end of the day what do you have to show for it? a pile of washing, mucky pots and an untidy house. As fast as you clean there's a little person & a big bloke messing it up again! Its a thankless job so its not that you're crap, its that your jobs are undone as fast as you can do them!

Sassy thats awful! worse than awful! That poor woman & her poor family!

I've only got 2 more weeks off before I'm back at work. I'm dreading and looking forward to it all at the same time. I have no idea how I'm going to manage to keep up with the house etc on the days i'm working and how I'm physically going to cope!

Sooooooooooooooo, to make myself feel better I'm booking next years holiday tomorrow! We're going to go to my mils apartment in turkey for 2 weeks. They've just bought the one above theirs too so hopefully our friends are going to come too but they're waiting for IVF so aren't sure where they'll be!

sassy That's awful news. The poor family. So, so sad.

cinnamon Maybe they think that because you're childminding, you're working, so think that you're busy, iyswim? Or they might just have not thought to invite you - people tend to put other people into catagories, so they might see you as someone from the preschool committee and just not think to invite you in other situations. Have you tried inviting them to something specific, rather than just a general 'if you fancy a coffee..'? In my experience vague invitations like that rarely materialise into anything. Try not to let them dent your confidence.. You've always got us [cheesey grin]

Was just going to say exactly the same as maple. I often feel like you cinnamon and I'm not good at joining groups when I feel like I don't quite belong. But I have found that texting a few mummies with 'I'm planning to go to park/soft play/pub at 2.30 today if anyone fancies joining us' usually works better than 'we should have tea sometime'. And actually, there is often someone else at a loose end who really appreciates an invite to do something. It might seem that they're a pre-formed group but actually there are probably some who feel the same as you. :)

I haven't had a catch up because you lot talk so much, but need to post to mark myplace at least!

Orlaith's catching up with some of the others now, she's stepping lots. Yesterday she managed 12 steps. It was so cute. She thinks she's a bloody genius when she does it!

I'm going out tonight with some mum friends. They're all so lovely and I'm really glad I made myslef keep meeting them after our post natal groups finished because they've been much better friends than any of my pre-baby friends. I was planning on drinking lots of wine to myself tonight and then lying on the sofa tomorrow while Orlaith plays. But we've now got someone coming tomorrow at 8am to start work on our bathroom. I know that doesn't seem early to most of you but Orlaith's been waking at 9 recently!

Also DP came home being so different yesterday. We seem to have been arguing about stupid things recently and not spending much proper time together. But he came home yesterday and said we're going out for dinner and then was lovely and affectionate all night how annoying I'm on my period or I would've taken advantage! I think it's because his friend/employee has been telling him all about his relationship and how they've been arguing loads and yesterday asked DP if he knew anyone needing a lodger because he's leaving her. Maybe that made him realise that this could happen to us to. Well, whatever it was, I'm glad, I like the new loving DP!

Hope everyone's well and I'll catch up soon. now!

Grace had her 12 month check and was described as incredibly advanced for speech, I'm so proud! Also been advised not to give her any more baby food/mush as she still won't eat the lumpy ones and to just give her what we have from now on (which we have done a little bit recently) so for lunch today she had paprika chicken, potato's (left over from last nights tea) and a bit of meat and potato pie that I had and she ate the lot and fed herself using a fork. I cried a bit cause it feels like the last bit of her being a baby is kind of gone. I know I'm a mard arse! However I'm very glad we're not giving her baby food now as it was starting to cost a bloody fortune, and really staining her clothes!

Grace had her 12 month check and was described as incredibly advanced for speech, I'm so proud! Also been advised not to give her any more baby food/mush as she still won't eat the lumpy ones and to just give her what we have from now on (which we have done a little bit recently) so for lunch today she had paprika chicken, potato's (left over from last nights tea) and a bit of meat and potato pie that I had and she ate the lot and fed herself using a fork. I cried a bit cause it feels like the last bit of her being a baby is kind of gone. I know I'm a mard arse! However I'm very glad we're not giving her baby food now as it was starting to cost a bloody fortune, and really staining her clothes!

That's lovely newmum001, Luke doesn't say anything yet but I remember with ds1 how lovely it was to hear those first words .

I saw a couple of the ladies from the park at toddler group today and they chatted as usual so I suppose I'm just being oversensitive and they didn't think of me. I know you're right about making a specific date but along with wanting to be liked I'd also hate to be turned down! Rubbish I know.

Luke is walking so much in the house but won't let go of me when we're out and he's got shoes on so I guess that takes a bit more practice. Still no sign of a 12 month check here. Got a letter to make an appointment for ds1's salt review so got excited it might move a bit quicker but first appointment they had was 29th september!!

And yay!! For the change in your dp's attitude saoirse86!

Well done Grace on eating all that! Arlo has just started to get really fussy about trying new things. E.g. he adores his toast & jam for brekkie but if I give him bread for lunch he won't touch it because it's not toasted! He'll eat chicken Korma which I've given him for months but spits out plain chicken or just throws it on the floor. He loves strawberries but if i mix tgem with raspberries or grapes, he'll pick out tge strawberries and leave the rest (on tge floor too usually!) Wishing i'd been more adventurous a couple of months back when he was more receptive to new things. What do I do? Just keep offering them until he gives in? Not sure how to move him on to more foods he can feed himself as he's resistant to trying them at all.