The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

[Backinthebox]

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

The girl that does my waxing told me about the woman who got a bit freaked out during the "intimate" waxing she slammed her legs together with all the hot wax "down there".. bit of a bugger to sort out by all accounts. I don't find it that bad - no worse than under arm waxing.

Liking the updates on t'other place.

Waxing for me too but hate having to fork out for it. Splashed out on a special bikini epilator (I epilate me legs when I has time) but am too afeared to use it

Epilators HURT!!!!! Tried once. That was plenty.

Epilating is all right as long as you keep on top of it. So if you already waxed then switched to the epilator it would be no problem. But epilating previously shaved or untouched areas takes a certain level of DHBness. It's years since I started but I remember underarm being worse than bikini line. It bled.

Underarm a lot lot worse.

Whereas I love a bit of threading. Eyebrows! Am always offended when they say "top lip too?"

You are all DHB's. I have to take painkillers before I go to the beautician as my fucking EYEBROWS bleed (alabaster skin & tendency to ginge anyone?) - however, when I've had my bikini line waxed before found it strangely painless.

Epilators? Pah. Bought one. Has sat in box for 7 years.

Urgh!! I've had a rotten dream. HR at work was the nursery and I had to hand MB over and I was totally fine and happy but they kept on and on at me guilt tripping me about leaving him.

Clearly returning to work is playing only mind.

Only = on my

silv First day might well be hard, you'll question every single decision and wonder what you're doing. By lunchtime day 2 you'll have been spoken to like an adult who has an opinion worth hearing, you'll have drunk a hot coffee in peace and smile serenly in the knowledge that someone else has actually had to clean the shitty bum for the first time in x months! You will look down at your top and wonder what's wrong with it - that's right! No milk spillages, no grubby finger marks. People will walk past you and smile as though you're an entity of your own rather than simply MB's mother! You can say fuck and cunt and not wonder if you ought to or not. And you can fb/H&H in peace!

alps I'm reading your words and clutching them to my chest re my imminent ft work status. Though I think I might try to avoid saying 'cunt' on my first day in the new job...

rocket We were married on exactly the same day! Spooky. I hope your anniversary was good. Our night out was simply brilliant. Babysitter was a star (managed to get Clyde to sleep better than we usually manage). Restaurant was fab, sechs was mind blowing, and I don't even have a hangover. Success!

alps I hear you. Only downside is Internet allowed at lunchtime only and no fb!! I sooooo need new job.

fp & roc congrats on the wedded bliss anniversaries!! fp so many potential comments about special suncream...... However my brain is fubar'd so not even going to try!

Right, I'm off! My hoss has my name on it and my ass will be in the saddle within the hour! Hallelujah for MBs visiting aunt!!!!

Hello! Been lurking as couldn't think of owt interesting to say. 'tis not, n'est pas? Going to take Squib for a swim today methinks.

All this talk of foliage trimming. I've resorted to shaving meself. All other methods seem to lead to ingrown hairs all over the place, a fortnight later, which wasn't an option when I had a job that necessitated the wearing of a swimsuit every day. Just opted for regular maintenance with the Gilette. Better get down there with the garden shears before we head off to the pool methinks.

Honey you are being mentioned on the Nov '10 fred, in case you're interested. I have a gander on it once in awhile to see what my child is supposed to be doing by now (and probably isn't - like, say crawling more than a foot or to, getting himself from lying to sitting etc).

Isn't Cheggers the one that went pop pop?

Yesterday I had a nice day shopping sans children. Today I have a smear test

Alps you forgot to mention that you can simply just go to the loo when you like and "popping" out for a sandwich for lunch is not a military operation. However, it did take a fair while for the guilt of leaving my child in someone elses care to subside.

FP you have the sechs on a fairly regular basis non? I do have a theory that the more you do it the more enjoyable it is. I am stuck in a little rut which I could do with hauling myself out of. Mainly it is to do with being tired. All. the. time. Most make more of an effort.

Hello Looopy if you are lurking. I didn't even realise there was a Nov 10 fred. I just hide out here despite having an Nov 10 real live baybeee.

okes Well since you are asking... sechs life was completely non-existent for SEVEN months. I mean dead as a dodo. Nothing happening.

It was a lot to do with my crippling PND, Clyde still sleeping in our bed, and totally fucked weepy exhaustion day in and day out. And not just me - MrP was feeling this way too. We felt so sad about it and wondered if we would ever get our groove back.

But then just in the last month things changed. The pills are working, things are looking up for house and work situation, sun is shining etc. I also made a conscious decision to try to 'think sexy'. Then along came the tent in the garden... and the rest is history!

I am thinking of patenting this 'tent in the garden' sex therapy technique. I can recommend it to anyone who needs to rediscover a certain spark.

And you are so right - the more you do it the more you do it. Get to it.

The massive Vango we have won't fit in our garden, but my little old festy tent will. Thing is, the neighbours would almost definitely hear us. And as they are our friends as well they'd probably chat to us when they pop out to have their evening cigarette. :o

Hmmm...maybe FP should write a book on how to reinvigorate your marital sex life with a little boinking al fresco. "The joy of tent sex"? There might just be a market.

With you on the too knackered to be arsed front Okie. Last night we were in bed at half 9, and could have had a pop, but were both asleep within seconds of head/pillow contact. When it comes to a choice between the shuteye and the sechs, sleep wins every time. OH mentioned the other day that he misses the TTC years months on that front, even though it all became a bit calendar focussed rather than spontaneous...

Btw Rocket Did you get the cot up yet?

Berlimey - I haven't been on that November 10 thread since well, November 10!

Must nip back and say hello. Hello Looopy if you are here!

The thought of my husband erecting a tent and then us having sex in said tent is a very amusing thought indeed! Not likely to happen either due to the fact it would take him approx 2 weeks to get the tent up.

Moo, Mr Moo clearly doesn't have any problem with other types of erections .

Thanks for the low down FP. I did knock back some advances a week or so ago but I was actually asleep. I mean, for Godsake, I can't be arsed even when I am vaguely awake but once I am in the land of nod I don't want to be woken by Mr C trying to get his leg over. However, I will make an effort to try harder.

honey I was more worried that you tell us it would take MrMoo two weeks to get it up if you were to try. How did you ever manage to conceive?

Well we had a luuuuurvely swim in the local pool today. My friend came round with my goddaughter who's nearly 3, and the 2 of us wallowed like happy hippos for a good hour in some lovely cool water. Practically had the baby pool to ourselves for much of the time. Bliss! Squib was loving it - he would sit on the side and launch himself into my arms. Seems to be suffering from the delusion that he can trust me to catch him!

Moo clearly Mr Moo has no problem with getting things up when they count, and you wouldn't want to be crawling in and out of tents in your condition now would you? Your baybee might fall out!!!

Moo ha ha harrrrr!!! Poor man would probably get more tent putting up practice than anything else these days!

I have just put my child to bed twenty minutes early and he is singing whilst I lie on my bed. I'm sure I should be reading him a story but I'm too fecking hot.

with all these paddling pool sessions. Must clean dog shit off patio...

Okie I spoke to your friend for a good 30 minutes today. I think she will give it a go (routine & sleep training) I guaranteed success and offered her a text message service. I should start charging! I hope she gives it a good go. It sounds like she is behind the idea so fingers crossed things improve for her soon.

I also emailed hypnobirthing teacher today to do refresher course. Enquirer whether brain washing service available so that I can wipe my memory of last ten minutes of birth. Hmm.