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The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

1000 replies

Backinthebox · 05/07/2011 20:10

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PollyPoo · 26/07/2011 11:28

Hello all. Fanks Pone.

I am on hols with two snotty ill children, a grumpy tired husband and the dog. The dog is happy so that is good. I am exhausted - apart from the waking up due to coughing fits, BB is also waking up due to teething. She now has her first two teeth. Smile I haven't had a decent nights sleep since last Wednesday. We haz the karvol plug in thing Moo, god knows how bad things would be without it.

Moo I can't believe your boy is two stone! Boo is only two and half and she is four on Thursday. Mind you she is a skinny little wippet with legs like cocktail sticks. I used to be like that....

Fanny well done on ending the drought. Very impressive. Wink

Sorry I have read everything but cannot retain any more information... need more coffee. So bitchslaps and stinky brie for the rest of you.

AlpinePony · 26/07/2011 11:37

polls speaking of your grumpy husband - I had a question for all the CRESH, but really I want to know your answer. The question is thus:

How many empty toilet roll tubes would your "love of your life" collect/stack/toss on the floor of the toilet if you were not to intervene? We are up to 8. Is there a limit?

poll I bet the dog is lovely even if everyone else is being a pita. And shaddup about your weight - last time I saw a photo of you, you were looking very slinky minx anyway.

lightspaper And here's your question: "How the fucking fuckety absolute fuck do you manage to get a small child to sit still on a potty for up to 15 minutes? You did say minutes right, you didn't mean seconds?"

I'm just about to start making Bear wear skirts kilts as I can't get his fucking legs in trousers because he wriggles so much. Toilet training I fear is not going to go well. It'll be somewhat reminiscent of Paula Radcliffe I fear. :(

Muser · 26/07/2011 11:59

I feel your wriggly pain Alps, at least mine is still small enough to pin down. The small one has realised she can reach for stuff, which means nappy and clothes changes consist of her rolling over to grab something and me attempting to roll her back because putting a nappy on bum up is too hard.

Toilet rolls. Hmm. I think our record is perhaps 5. Empty shampoo/shower gel/shaving foam bottles about a million.

Hope your hols get better Pols. Fear my rhyming skills.

I appear to have developed occasional insomnia. There is nothing good about laying awake for 2 hours and then having the baby wake up anyway, getting baby back to sleep, thinking "oh yes, properly exhausted now" and then laying awake all over again.

PollyPoo · 26/07/2011 12:16

Eight is good going Alps, I don't think we've made it that far, but only because I get fucked off with kicking them across the floor in the dark and have to pick them up. Yep Muse, we have the same problem with empty shampoo/body wash bottles.

Holiday is still lovely, despite lack of sleep. I think I am getting used to it now. Boo and I spent yesterday afternoon on the beach. TG decided it was too hot for him so he stayed behind with BB. I was dying to go for a swim but a) I wasn't sure I could trust Boo on the beach by herself, and b) my swimwear proved inadequate, as in every time I bent over my tits fell out Blush and I didn't think it would stand up to the dorset white waves. I remember trying to swim in the sea one day when I'd taken the dog to Daymer Bay after work. She kept swimming in after me to 'rescue' me and scratched me to bits. After I'd carried her back out three times and had all the tourists laughing I gave up. I do luff my dog, she is ace.

We have wriggly baybee too - always during nappy change. She is now trying to crawl too and I fear the changing table may soon be redundant. Or I suppose I could just put loads of pillows on the floor?

CurlyCasper · 26/07/2011 16:17

Quick catch up
I leave the empty loo rolls as distractions for dog/child (is that bad?)

I also have Squeaker forward facing as I finally gave in to her sudden decision to hate car seats. This might be controversial, but I'm doing what works best and leaves me with a happier child. I might have thought differently in my old car. She's is only just at the minimum weight for this set up (20lbs).

I have been sleb spotting and stuffing my belly at work today, good distraction from worrying about hospitalised, very ill grandfather which has been distracting me from being here.

Lighttaperstandback · 26/07/2011 17:09

back from eyetest. Squib was a little angel - smiling at everyone and being vey cute even though they were putting stuff in his eyes and keeping him hanging around an hour past his naptime. Eyesight is all fine.

Curly sorry to hear about ill grandpa. Hope sleb spotting is adequate distraction. Have been doing the same to no avail as we have some Winehouse connected peeps across the road from us. Lots of people wearing black climbing into limos.

Alps - no friggin' idea how it works. May end up nearer 5 than 15 mins. Am assuming will be a combo of giving him a toy to play with and physically sitting down next to him to cheer him on, as it were. From what I've heard, quite often putting 'em in the sitting position leads to them straining anyways, esp if you time it for when emissions are likely to occur. Squib's not yet mobile - if I sit him somewhere he stays put (v. Envy of Minimoo's crawling prowess), so I figured it made more sense to make a start before he gets too good at escaping. I'm all over the theory, but the practice may be another matter. I kinda figure if millions of others have done it, it can't be that impossible... Daresay I'll be reporting back abject failure in no time.

PollyPoo · 26/07/2011 21:18

Sorry about the poorly grandpa Casp. Take this

rocketleaf · 26/07/2011 21:22

sympathies from me too casper poor gramps :(

I am afraid I am the loo roll culprit in this house so can't comment. Blush we normally get to about 3 before TB throws them away.

at thought of squib charming everyone in sight (see what I did there?)

PollyPoo · 27/07/2011 09:01

Morning all. I have had a whole night of undisturbed sleep, yay me! So why do I feel worse? Confused Oh yes... that would be because I have the dreaded cold caught from Boo or BB. Joy. BB now has 2 little razor sharp teeth on the bottom so lets hope more sleep is on its way.

How is everyone else today? We are off to see some monkeys today. Grin

Lighttaperstandback · 27/07/2011 09:11

Hello hello hello!!! My baby slept from 7pm to 6.30 am, then happily chortled to himself for another 15 mins before we had to get him up. I was in bed at half 9 in case of wakenings in the night and therefore got...count 'em... nine hours sleep. Pls to admire the bag free eyes. Shall I put the coffee on for anyone? Cappucinos all round?

Rocket very good...visionary, in fact.

FannyPriceless · 27/07/2011 09:13

curls Really sorry about your gramps.

polls Well done on the sleep. Curse that cold!

We had the survey done on the house yesterday. Now nervously waiting to hear back...

okiecokie · 27/07/2011 09:38

Sorry about the cold Pols I have one here too. The throat feels like I have smoked 40 Bensons. I see monkeys every day in this house.

Light fab news on the sleep front! Yay. I too have had a night where I don't believe I woke up AND everyone was in the bed they initially went to so joy here too

Curls poor grampy. Sorry to hear that.

FP which house is this? Is it different to the house you were gazumped on? I have lost track with your house purchases. Our house is back on the market and no sooner did our For Sale sign go up then another 3 in our street did too. Maybe they can't cope living here knowing we may be leaving. No fucker wanted our house last time so not holding out much hope. I think our house is nice.

Today I will be mainly trying to get the smell of vom out of the pram

CluckyKate · 27/07/2011 11:51

Sympathies Curly - hope you enjoyed the cheesefest tho.

Fingers crossed for the survey FP - he waiting game is excruciating, no!?

Had ponio surveyed yesterday and he passed with flying colours. Have transferred the dosh so I guess that means he's officially mine LC's Grin

T'was a good night for sleeping babies, huh! BC slept 7:30 - 6:30, only waking once at midnight for a feed. Question is, how do I get him to do this every night???

Have fun cleaning Okes. Have you tried napalm???

LadyGoneGaga · 27/07/2011 12:07

I thought had better post my birth story while it is still relatively fresh in my memory. You might need some sustenance to get through it!

As most of you know I wasn't going to be allowed to go over my due date as had Gestational Diabetes and they were a bit concerned about babies size. Had a sweep on the Friday where she told me was 2cm and soft. No contractions though although lost my plug the day before. So we went in to labour ward at 8am on Sunday (my due date) for induction. They put the pessary in at 9am. They thought would only need one as was quite favourable although cervix still needed to come forwards. Had a chilled morning, went for a walk, read papers. About lunchtime started to get some niggly pains - just short prostin contractions. Did more walking to get things going. Rechecked at 3:30pm no real changes so she did another sweep. Rechecked at 6:45pm and cervix had come forwards now although still 2cm and contractions longer and more regular so they took me to labour suite to break waters. MrG had gone out for chips at this point.

Settled into room which was quite homely and non-medical really. Could dim the lights etc. MrG got back from his chips and contractions kicked off strongly by about 7:15pm. Got acquainted with the gas and air. Was feeling quite a bit of backache so on all fours. They were quite intense at this point so started getting panicky and shouting about epidurals. The midwife (lovely old school Irish woman) said I couldn't as they were all in theatre and think was the last I said about it! After that I got more controlled with breathing etc and using gas and air effectively.

Really odd sensations, felt like needed to push but just went with it (must have just been baby moving down) as kept pooing myself (lovely!). Re-examined at about 9pmish and was now 10cm just with anterior lip! Kept going for a while longer, was getting anxious about whether I could start to push or not (think because I had such a difficult time with DS last time I didn't want to tire myself out if a lip or a bad position). anyway for next hour or so contractions seemed to slow down. Midwives got a bit concerned and mentioned starting the drip. I started crying, saying no and they said they would leave me a bit longer. At this point I sank down to my knees leaning over the bed and started to push her out. I can remember feeling her head and basically singing through each contraction as I breathed her out. This seemed to take a long time (but was only actually 20 mins) and was because her elbow was up by her head. But slowly, slowly she edged out and eventually I felt her head pop out. I could feel her wriggling and pushing with her feet inside. Then a couple more pushes and her whole body slithered out of me which felt amazing! She was behind me so I couldn't see her to begin with and then they pulled her up and I could see she had loads of hair and was just sobbing with relief. She latched on within 10 mins of being born and stayed feeding for 2 hours! She was born at 10:58pm so labour recorded as 3h45m - bit different from the 32 hours ventouse delivery I had with MiniG!

I had a little second degree tear but they said with the size of her (9lb8oz with 37cm head!) and the fact she had her elbow by her face this was fairly inevitable but it was only an external one and not too bad. She stitched it but i think local anaesthetic needle going into the fanjo was probably the worst bit of the whole labor! then I went and got in the bath while MrG had some skin time and Iris and me both went to bed after that!

I was impressed that throughout the midwives were great and pretty much ignored the whole diabetes thing. I had intermittent monitoring as per a normal delivery, didn't check blood sugars, no drip etc. Was fantastic! All in all I had a great labour, it was only as medicalised as needed to be and they just let me get on with it all myself. I used my birthing ball, yoga mat, used cat positions and kneeling positions and was a really amazing experience. Particularly given what I was expecting after missing out on the HB. They did no coached pushing, was all up to me and my instincts. Iris's blood sugars have been perfect too.

For PESHes still waiting hopefully it shows that even if things go massively tits up and deviate hugely from your ideal birth you can still have an amazing experience.

She's such a chilled baby (so far). Sleeps in her basket (MiniG would not be put down for a minute) and has been feeding great. In fact it was MiniG who disturbed our sleep last night, Iris only woke up once. Midwife checked her today and she has a wee bit of jaundice, lost 8% birthweight which is par for the course given the fact she is such a big girl.

We're all so, so happy. MiniG is such a proud big brother and MrG is loving being a Daddy (is his first). I just have to work on the additional mountains of flesh now that still seem to be adhered to me! 1 stone down, 3 and a half to go!

Will try to catch up with everyone's posts now.

SilverSky · 27/07/2011 12:59

Laydee Welcome! Cracking birth. Sounds amaze! Love the name also.

Casp sorry to read about your poorly Grampz. Hope you are ok. You know you are allowed cake during emotional times as its a proven coping mechanism, therefore I prescribe .

MB has fallen asleep in car on way back from stables and is snoring so have decided to let him sleep and surf mn so I'm a prisoner on my own driveway.

Muggy today isn't it!

Huzzah for sleeping children and revived mothers. We had a late night with MB refusing to sleep eventually he dropped off, favouring the tummy and face down position, and woke up at 630 and he went back off again until 8 which meant we were late getting out of the house. Never mind!

cokie good luck with the house sale. We want to move but fear we are stuck here and with the shite schools too. Why didn't we think of this when we were house hunting????

This afternoon consists of baby weigh in and complaining to the HV about his eczema. Then I've got to buy a bday pres and card and I think I'll treat myself to frothy coffee and cake too whilst I'm out.

Hopefully MB will wake up soon as I'm starving and he'll be wanting his lunch too. I can see this afternoon being another mad dash!

Oohhh the sun has come out! Where's the Pimms??? Grin

okiecokie · 27/07/2011 13:15

LadyG that sounds wonderful and I am so pleased it was a good experience for you. It sounds like you deserve it after first time not being so great. It seems most people who have a shitty first birth have a far better second and it certainly was the case for me too. Funny about the pooing though, reminds me of me having a large smear of poo down my leg and asking if that was mine or the baby's - consultant said baby but I wonder if he was just saying that Confused. Anyway, welcome to the Cresh it is good to have you here and there are plenty of 2nd timers here to winge at share the delights of having 2 bundles of fun.

No silv what is this miracle cleaning product of which you speak? And, no point winging to HV about eczema - you need to demand more of your GP for more exploratory tests IMHO

Medee · 27/07/2011 13:26

Great birth story lady

rollerbaby · 27/07/2011 13:41

Gaga that is a fantastic birth story, you must be really really proud of yourself! It gives me hope for number 2. I would very much like to know what this "breathing" down feels like. Mine was screaming down in the last 10 minutes!!!!

curly sorry about your grampy. that is rubbish and I hope you get to spend lots of time with him.

lighter fab news on sleep!!! We had a good night too with mr man waking up at 7 again. Hurrah! Moving his morning nap from 9-9.30 and lunchtime from 12.30 until 1 seemed to work a treat. I don't really understand why this would affect the time he wakes up in the morning but Gina says and it bloody worked.

Off to the zoo shortly. Can't wait. Giant bunnies and meerkats. Excellent.

owlbooty · 27/07/2011 14:35

Oh GG that is such a lovely story that I appear to be suddenly suffering from hayfever - am so, so glad that it was so 'unmedical' in the end after all the shite and worrymongering you had to put up with beforehand.

FannyPriceless · 27/07/2011 14:43

Such a brilliant birth story ladywahwah.Smile Were you at W hospital? It sounds like a pretty good experience. How are you coping with MiniG as well? Any time you need a special delivery of BF-fortifying cake and cheese let me know!

CRESHes, I have had a major BlushBlush today. You know the, er, pleasure tent in the garden (which incidentally neither of us have suggested taking down anytime soon Wink)? Ostensibly it is there for the kids to play in, so I really can't complain about what happened today.

Bonnie was playing awfully quietly in there, and when I went to join her she screamed at me 'Go away Mummy! It's my special suncream.'

Smothered all over her arms and legs was an entire tube of 'play' lube which I had left in the tent.BlushShock

It's harmless, right?

Backinthebox · 27/07/2011 15:01

FP - priceless! Grin Grin Grin

OP posts:
AlpinePony · 27/07/2011 15:22

fans It could have been worse... it was a huge relief to read the word "lube" after "special suncream".

rocketleaf · 27/07/2011 15:49

Thats hilarious FP :o

What and amazing birth story Gaga So glad it turned out to be positive after all the worry of the last few weeks.

Glad to hear of all the sleeping through going on. Not so much of that this end. Had to get up to change Sprout at 1.30 as her nappy had leaked. :( Weirdly she hadn't woken up, but I did and checked it (mothers instinct?) so had to get her up, changed, bed changed and give her a quick feed back to sleep. Hmm, defo think disposables at night are the way forward for the time being. Have had a couple of leaks today too so I am going to have to be more vigilante with the changes during the hot weather as I guess she will be drinking more, hence peeing more. And/or look into bigger/better wraps (sigh)

At least with the lovely weather I have been able to do 3 loads of washing today!! (thought you might be missing the washing machine updates Wink)

SilverSky · 27/07/2011 16:57

fanta OMFG I am sooooo glad it was "lube" and not anything else! I thought you were going to say Bonnie found the wet patch or summat!! Grin

HV was very sympathetic. Saw GP and he was useless. Going to make appt with other GP and take HI with me and then failing that I'm going to cry and wail like a banshee. So I've got a prescription for more rubbish cream and they still won't prescribe the wonder cream. Tight feckers!

Just over four weeks til I go back to work.

Medee · 27/07/2011 17:04

that's hilarious, fanny

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