Just mumming (viroids 1)

[fraktious]

So we don't scare the viroids on the antenatal thread with horror stories of no sleep, chomped boobs and endless laundry or make them envious with tales of cuteness....

I agree frak that its more importamnt that they get sleep than where it happens. When I say resistant I don't mean to self settle, I mean that she finds it very hard to get off to sleep at all, be that in her bed, ours, or on me during the day. She's just not a sleepy baby, but it's quite obvious when she's over tired but whatever we do she just cant seem to go off. That's why I've been trying to get her to sleep in one place - her crib consistently in the hope that she associates that place with sleep. Sometimes she falls asleep whilst feeding but it rarely lasts, and anyway almost never when she's so over tired she's miserable. How do you get them to learn to sleep???

Esk, I don't know how to make them learn. Ds is quite a good sleeper. Then again I am happy to put White noise on, let dh rock him to sleep etc Dh has a good success rate as doesn't smell of milk. If ds starts rooting he comes back to me for another feed.

The thing I am finding difficult is how much awake time ds needs during the day. I feed him loads. After that I'm never sure if I should be encouraging sleep or how long to keep him entertained for.

I have read some really upsetting things about controlled crying and phycological and trust issues later on but depends what side of the fence the author was on! We go straight to her but don't always pick her up if she's being shouty in her cot but if that doesn't work it's milk time and I'm fine with that. Shes so little!

M is like that. We need to make the world bugger off, usually in a sling but when he was smaller ocean noise face down on us worked well.

Hmm, maybe DD is just nocturnal. She slept quite well during the day yesterday, dropping off at most feeds, generally before finishing which I wasn't too happy about. However as far as I can tell she's been awake since 10pm gurgling away to herself... Ive theoretically been asleep but waking every half hour or so due tue the noise she's been making. No crying, no hunger signs, just happy little noises. Now, if we could have that during the day, and the sleep at night all would be pretty peachy

DD just burped in my face. that'll teach me for holding her up for a smile post feed!

I read somewhere there is a book that describes the first 3 months of a babies life as the fourth trimester. Which makes a lot of sense, because your baby spends 9 months (give or take) inside you, never truely alone and then suddenly it has to learn all about being alone. That must be very scarey. So you should never feel bad about picking you LO one up at the first whimper. I know I pick DD up as soon as possible (not so easy when there is another child to deal with, but I still manage to get her quickly the majority of the time).

Esk just make sure it's dark/dim and quite at night and light, noisy (as in day time noises, not heavy metal type noise) and stimulating during the day and she'll soon figure out that it's more fun to be awake in the day time and better to sleep at night. Sounds positive that she was happy amusing herself during the night though.

Morning all,

QQ - DS is 4 weeks old tomorrow...and I have still not given him a bath. We top 'n' tail at least once a day but haven't seen the need for a full on dunk. He has had quite dry skin so I have been basting him in sweet almond oil. He seems happy enough and obviously doesn't whiff but does this put me at the top of the list for social services?!

You are fine. Mum knows best and all that. Especially if you are doing a thorough top and tail.

Ds has had a few baths, mostly with dh. Then ds gets a massage. Only had one bath where i used earth friendly baby product. He absolutely loves it and he sleeps brilliantly afterwards. If it wasn't for worrying about his skin he would get one more often.

I don't think it's a problem - he's hardly going to be getting dirty. DD does get a bath every day because she and DH both really enjoy it and it was recommended for relieving trapped wind/colic. Not sure if it has any lasting effect but she stops screaming for the duration of the bath at least.

Just wondering how many naps your dc take during the day. My ds is fighting the sleep, staying awake from 8am-1pm, then crashing out for four hours. By that time he is over tired and exhausted. If I go out he only cat naps and stays awake until about 5pm

I'm finding naps a struggle too. I think DD has 3 naps, usually one in the morning of about an hour. Sometimes this is immediately after her first feed and sometimes - like today it's rather later. Then another around lunchtime and another, which she often skips unless we're out and about so she can sleep in the buggy/car seat in the late afternoon. Length of naps varies. If she can get herself off in the late afternoon we often get at least 2 hours.

I've been reading the Baby Whisperer book. Not got all the way through it but I like the basic idea of an EASY day - baby Eats, has some Awake time, Sleeps then mum gets some You time (in my case may get a shower and put the washing on). I've also had some success this morning with. The "pick up put down" method of getting her off to sleep trying this as I really need a wee and can't do that with her asleep on me

At that point DS was probably having a 45 minute nap between every feed, up to about 6 weeks. But he didn't go down for the night until 10/11 after a mammoth cluster feed.

We now have 45mins about 2hrs after wakeup, 1h/1h30 an hour or so after that and 45mins/1h in the afternoon. 8pm bedtime, usually up around 6.30 (although today he went till 7.45).

I shouldn't really complain as ds is a contented wee sole. Normally have just enough time to snack and nip for a wee. I just find it hard when I can see he is shattered, but can't sleep or keeps jumping and waking back up after 5 mins.

To begin with DS wakes, feeds, is awake for a bit and then sleeps again for a couple of hours. At 4 weeks (today!) he has much longer awakey moments, with his eyes open and everything . We have no real pattern still. The only pattern is if he wakes he will feed immediately. If we go out he will sleep for the entire time we are moving (pram/bus/train any form of movement!) On a couple of days this has been for 5 or 6 hours

He has got in the habit of an early evening long nap which I keep trying to turn into bedtime...to be honest if I am upstairs at this point I put him in his crib to encourage this. He can really sleep anywhere no matter the light/noise!

Having typed this realise we have no routine or pattern

Have you tried swaddling him B2B? Might help him to not wake himself up so often if he's thrashing moving around in his sleep?

Don't have a routine either, which I don't mind. But today, for example, ds has been awake since half 6 and not slept for more than ten mins at a time. He used to sleep when we were on the move but even a walk in his pram doesn't keep him sound. Wondering if he has trapped wind? He has finally fallen asleep on my chest, I need a wee and a drink and it's boiling...don't want to wake him though. I'm a right whinge today

He has finally just gone down. Always swaddle him otherwise he lashes his arms around and wakes himself up.

Feeling a bit upset as dh phoned this morning to say he would be home by 2pm today. Then received a text a 2.30pm saying he had been held up and it would be 5.30pm. If I hadn't thought he would be home I would have been fine . I think I am being irrational so need a pep talk. I feel like his life hasn't really changed apart from giving ds the odd bath and doing a nappy change now and again. I have made this huge move, I have the baby, the cleaning, making dinner and his folks constantly wanting to visit. Do we have a just Mumming kipper?

Going to have a sleep now too and see if it gives me some perspective

Spoke too soon, he is wide awake again. Do you think this is a growth spurt?

baby you don't need a kipper you need a hug. It's a pet hate of mine and was even before DS arrived. Because men go back to work so soon they don't really get how big a change it is and continues to be

B2B. Feel you pain on both fronts. DS is having a growth spurt here I think as eating more often and for longer.

I have the same thing re: DH. He is off travelling with work tomorrow and will be again in a couple of weeks. Only a night tomorrow but 3 in a couple of weeks. Completely understand it - however he was very open that at least one, if not 2 nights of the second trip are for socialising Again, don't begrudge him that per se....

Had a bit of a flip out last night as was just dozing off having fed DS and DH said, 'Stay awake so you can put him in his crib'....errrr, "Yes, Sir!" Clearly he had some temporary paralysis I was unaware of. It is little things like I am really trying to make life as the 3 of us an easy transition. I made DH tea and brekkie in bed pretty much every day of paternity leave and did the majority of the cooking. Not because I had to or because it was expected of me but because I wanted to I like looking after the boys in my life. DH hasn't thought to make me a cup of tea in the morning when he does his so I have it for when DS wakes and feeds before I can do anything. DH is not thoughtless, far from it but he just doesn't think...IYSWIM?!

Wow...rant city Didn't really see that coming...

DS had his BCG injection today. He was braver than his Mummy. The woman really waggled the needle around in there for ages. Poor little thing. He was soooooooooo brave though as he only cried when the needle was in his arm (unlike his Mum who cried last night, during the injection and afterwards....) He is very clingy now though which is fine by me. Lots of lovely cuddles - I def need them more than him

Feeling a bit better after a little rant to dh. He kept saying what can I do to help and is there anything in the house that needs doing. Told him politely that I wasn't his bloody mother and to use his common sense and initiative. I think I have been too nice in doing to much and letting him get plenty of sleep.

I do feel better for ranting on here too. Hope you feel better for it too Val and thanks for understanding Frak.

P.s. Dh also thought it would be good to tell me how good I looked (WTF?!) and make moves when I was shattered last night. Told him it wasn't allowed until at least 6 week check....a jser I am not at the moment!

I now have sil texting me suggesting that ds should be given formula for his last feed at night so he sleeps better. Chinese whispers from dh to mil to sil have led to this intelligent input

Aw hugs baby. Ignore sil and the jungle drums and carry on doing what's best for you and DS. I simply cannot understand the obsession with formula that almost everyone in this country has. Why are so many people desperate to know when mums are going to stop bf-ing and actively encourage them to do so?
Hope DH makes up to you for this afternoons shenanigans (with chocolate rather than misguided attempts at js!)

Val, am intrigued that your DS has had an injection already. Is it the norm for London? We get them at 2, 3, & 4 months here. Not looking forward to that.
Have you moved house yet?

BCG at 6 weeks in high risk areas. I had mine at birth in the 80s!

I want M to have it young but not sure how I'll manage that as France have stopped doing it which is really intelligent when you live in a TB hotspot and DH's family have a history of 'consumption'.