March 2010 - Babies: "Climbing like an evil genius". Mummies: "Avoiding the Shred DVD"

[Arcadie]

Welcome to those with a March 2010.
Happy Easter from me....
Unwrap it quick!..

Oh, it's a new thread. I was hoping for chocolate.

Reminding*

Manda, I am so dreadfully, dreadfully to hear of your loss. You must be totally and utterly devastated. It just seems so bloody cruel. I hope that whichever option you decide on, it is at least as physically painless as possible. The emotional pain though will stay with you for always

One thing I will say is if you do have to go into hospital overnight, and if you're not allowed James with you, he will be fine. I left Jasmine (and actually 3.7 year old India) overnight for the first time a couple of weeks ago when I stayed with Richard. Jasmine was totally fine. She drank milk from a bottle - something she will never do for me! I still breastfeed her countless times a day, but if I'm not around then she adapts.

Whatever happens, don't be afraid to grieve for your lost baby and make sure you look after yourself (coming from the person who is most crap at looking after myself). xxx

Flip, good luck today and I hope dearly that the scan reveals a healthy little baby.

Quick update from me, although it is horrible news. Richard is not going to be having any further chemotherapy as he is too weak. Too weak to travel (hospice won't do it there) and too weak to take what is a very strong treatment. He is dying in front of us and it is unbearable. He can no longer move his body - even to adjust his position in bed. He was such a strong and athletic man, it seems so cruel that this is to be his fate. He is also the most intelligent man I know, but the disease - and the drugs - are getting to his brain and he is now very muddled, if he's at all concious. Every time the phone rings my stomach lurches and I imagine it's the hospice asking me to come in.

We did manage to have a lovely party for Jasmine's 1st birthday and have some lovely photos and videos from that. Both girls continue to do remarkably well, for which I am grateful.

Oh, Rinders. There are no words, just thoughts and wishes and hand holding and hugs. I wish I could do more. I'm sure we all do.

Manda - as has already been said, I hope it's as painless and physically easy as possible for you, manda. A friend of mine who has had 3 such relatively late losses (but also 3 healthy children) has always said that the hardest bit is acknowledging, to yourself and to others, what has happened, giving yourself permission to grieve and (and I think this is the important bit) making sure that others know that you need to grieve.

Flip - am crossing everything possible that you have reassuring news today.

Rinders I am so sorry to hear your news. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to watch the man you love disappear before your eyes. I'm glad you have happy memories from Jasmine's party, and that both your beautiful girls are doing so well. I have no other words, other than I'll continue to hold you in my thoughts and offer (((hugs)))

Rinders I've been following your other thread, but is good to see you here. You are in my thoughts everyday.
x

Thank you all so much for your kind words. Yesterday, when I checked in last night, it made me cry so hard I couldn't possibly post. Today I feel quite numb and so grateful to have you all.

Rather than keep updating here, I've just rambled on in a thread I started in pregnancy loss. It's right here. From what I've read of other women's experiences I can expect to be up and down for some time - I hope to be back to my usual posting at some point fairly soon but..who knows? Meanwhile, I shall lurk, I'm sure.

You know what else? I can't bring myself to break the news in the antenatal thread I've been posting in.

flip you'd better have gotten good news today, my fingers are so tightly crossed for you

rinders I can't imagine where you get the strength to deal with everything that's been thrown your way. I'm so, so sorry. Really glad that you managed to make some happy memories, depsite it all, for Jasmine's birthday.

Manda- I'm soo glad you feel able to share here. You have to lean on someone. I really hope I've done the right thing- I've posted a short update on sep 11 - it seemed like you wanted them to know and didn't know how. Really hope that was ok. Thinking of you xxx

FLISS - hope you are ok xx

Oh, scooby thank you so much. After my last post I did kinda sit here thinking for a few moments 'should I ask if someone will let them know' so not only have you done the right thing, you've literally read my mind.

Rinders it's lovely to see you and to hear that the girls are doing well. I'm so sorry that things aren't improving for Richard though; it's just so bloody unfair.

well done scoobs

rinders huge huge sympathies, i'm glad his pain is being managed at least. i've tried to say it before but IME regret is truly a pointless emotion - at this point you have time and capacity to say anything you need to and do anything you need to. Don't wait until it's too late and then wish you'd said it...we're all in awe of your strength and my goodness what an amazing mother and wife you are. I don't really know what else to say. it's just not fair.

fliss any news?

nothing much from me. An utterly surreal week from a work point of view, but proved my colleagues are a truly good, caring bunch of people . On a peer supporting pov i'm making progress with the group i'm supposed to start up so we are a week away from a "soft launch" (yawn i hate all that terminology, just get on with it and bring some cake) and on a parenting pov i am liking my children very much this week . T shook her head so hard today she fell over and hit said head on the floor. was v sweet if a bit from her perspective

Manda and Rindercella what else to say apart from so so sorry. :( You're in my thoughts.
Fingers crossed that all is well with your bean Flip

DD turned one today - can't quite believe it. And if I recall correctly, Happy Birthday also to BabyRKD and BabyTooBlessed.

Happy birthday to your DD Afri, and Blessed's DD also. I think RKD's DS is tomorrow..

Thank you for the shiny new thread, Arcadie, hope you have a lovely day tomorrow .

Anything stoopid lighthearted seems a bit inappropriate here just now: Manda, I am so very very sorry to hear about your news. Sending strength and love your way. I do hope you will get the support and advice you need and that the next few days will go at least physically as smoothly as possible. I totally understand what you mean about being terrified about a MC to start suddenly at home - I was never able to contemplate that thought either .
Re BFing: if you decide to go for a surgical evac, there are anaethetic options which would allow you to carry on BFing as soon as you are home again. And yes, at 1 year your DS will be just fine without you for a few hours or a day and most likely will take milk from a cup/bottle from somebody else.

Rinders, I am so sad for you, your R and your lovely family . I am at a loss what else to say.

We are indeed going skiing on Saturday; my (saintly) mum and dad flew back from a phantastic holiday in the States on Monday, arrived home on Tuesday, repacked their bags and flew to us yesterday . They were looking after DS3 and Joe today already and DS3's behavious was just atrocious horrible impressive ahem, remarkable. I Am Worried. But Joe slept for 1 1/2 hours - on my dad's chest . Awww. They will be fine. They will.

They will, won't they??

Sorry, I cannot possibly read back and respond to everything that has happened.
Random: Good luck, heckle. Yep, cow's milk here too, Joe does not seem fussed. at MissPent (I got it, btw !) thinking about driving into oncoming traffic. Yep, still mainly on jars here too - except if it is homemade cake: that's my boy .

Must go and pack a bit more. Miss you all .

I hope to be back a bit more regularly again in a week or so.

Rinders- So sorry to hear what you and your dh and family are goin through. Life really isn't fair sometimes. I don't know what to say, nothing seems appropriate but you are in my thoughts xx

More hugs for Rinders. I hope you continue to find the strength you need.

MANDA In pleased I read it right- call that the detective in me ;-) relieved I hadn't misread the signs. Please look after yourself and understand it ok to be on an emotional rollercoaster xxx

Manda thinking of you and am keeping an eye on your other thread. I hope you get your questions answered.

Scooby well done on reading the signs correctly and helping in such a practical way.

Rinders thinking of you and your family.

I'm back at work today, hence the brevity of my post. The private scan yesterday confirmed the NHS one - basically wait and see. So the bubs is still there, still small for dates, I'm still bleeding, and am still convinced the worst will happen (DH is being the optimistic one). Thanks for all your kind words - they mean a lot and have helped at a very stressful time.

Right, now have to try and get some work done!

Flip sorry i just realised I ballsed up and wrote fliss...you knew i meant you, though, right? Glad scan was ok. Everything crossed for you. Hope work ok.
(and fliss obv hope you are good too )

Flip- glad scan ok. It might be ok you know!! Small and perfectly formed is fine ;-) xx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMEON X

Thank you for the birthday wishes, DD had a fabuous time,,i think. MIL brought a home made cake which was lovely. Its a year already, where has the time gone? Still its wonderful to know that i don't feel like i want to die as i felt this time last year, not knowing what to do with a little pink baby, now she is not pink anymore but a bubling talkative little monkey,,haha,,Happy birthday to little afribaby and today simeon..

Manda I've posted on your other thread, but forgot to say that I breastfed my DS when he was 10 weeks old when I had an ERPC under a general anaesthetic. I just had to use up previously expressed milk for 24 hours.

@ sarah killing the old thread!!

That's all, must pack

Thank you Sarah and for all of you following my FB: This time last year posts!!!

Sim still up, sicky burping and pooooorly. But it's been a nice day.

We ALL have 1 yr olds now!