EVERYONE with more than two children - I don't know how you do it. I'm shattered with two! Although am hoping to do better on the sleep front soon [see below if interested in sleep ideas]
MILWARD - sending good health vibes to you
[KIWIFRUIT, when you get to NZ borrow the "sleepytime" video from Plunket - it has really helped me heaps. It shows ways to help baby sleep WITHOUT just leaving them to cry, which I understand is not recommended before about 10 months anyway]
SLEEP POST - Ignore if not interested in sleep topic - Just had the "Plunket Sleep Advisor" (kind of like your HV's, but advise solely on baby's not sleeping!). Felt like a bad mum not being able to get something so simple right! But it must be a big deal if they have a specially trained person to advise you on it. There were no such people around 2 and a half years ago when ds was born.
Boopmi - her suggestions are similar to your sshh/pat thing - but not quite as involved. The key is to look for tired signs (jerky movements, fixed gaze, grizzling, and one other which I cannot remember right now - usually by the time they cry they are overtired). She said that some babies can only take one hour awake before becoming tired. Trick is to pop them in bed at the first tired sign (those of you with toddlers will know it is true that an overtired child is more difficult to settle than one who just became sleepy). Her suggestion is calm them - this could be holding and rocking or any other technique that calms them. (Boompi - not sure why baby whisperer says don't rock at that stage - I find rocking Grace in my arms calms her enough to put down within about 20 seconds). Then put them in bed awake (this is the part I hate). If they fuss, rock the cot gently (if possible), or pat them or rub them. SSHHHH noises also help. Only pick them up if they are crying (avoids them getting a wind), calm them and put them back in the cot. Repeat until they sleep (if they get too upset try changing/feeding and start again). Apparently, this will teach them that when you put them in the cot it is time to sleep. It also helps them to go back to sleep without being held if they are disturbed in the night.
Personally, I've been rather against all of this and preferred to let Grace fall asleep on the breast then put her in bed. But she wakes about an hour later really upset, so my plan is just not working for me.
I followed the sleep advisor's advice this morning, and could really tell she (Grace, not the SA) was very tired, so just persevered with rocking her basinett every couple of minutes. She then had a good sleep. We just did it again now, and the rocking in bed phase was about a minute (as opposed to 40 minutes on and off earlier in the day). She grizzled a little, but didn't even get to the crying phase! [relieved mummy icon] and has now been sleeping for an hour, which is good for her for daytime.
She also fights sleep, but I am hoping that this will teach her it is ok to let go. I think I have been disturbing her sleep patterns by picking her up too much when she cried. I always thought she was crying because she wanted to be held/fed. But now looking out for the tired signs, I see that she is crying from being tired.
The sleep advisor assures me that sleep promotes sleep. So if she sleeps well in the day, then she should sleep better in the night. I see this with my toddler, who at 2.5yo sleeps 2 to 3 hours in the afternoon, then 10 to 12 hours at night. If he has no afternoon sleep then nighttime is very disturbed and he'll sleep no more than 6 or 7 hours.
I hope all this helps someone out there.