Jan 2008 - I´m 3 and I own the world

[mixedmamameansbusiness]

It was getting desperate and since MrsMCJnr suggestion came in last and I was being lazy I just went for that - hope that is ok.

Nothing to report - starting to slowly gear up for the increasingly imminent return to work from maternity leave and emotionally all over the shop.

I am so loving the time with the kids, especially now that Mia is nearly 9 months and actually starting to do stuff (she is currently bouncing on her bum across my living room floor in very tiny increments which makes me laugh, as each time I look at her she is about 3 cm from where I last saw her!); Tamara is being mostly lovely with some very not lovely bits in between, but being (in a nice way) a real 'mummys girl' which she never was before; and Ari is really enjoying having time with me every evening when I can really focus on him for a bit. [sigh]

But I really have to go back to work, and (even worse) I'm applying for new jobs which are all very full time. So I'm torn between going back to my current job 4 days a week and being bored silly and going nowhere, or finding something new and interesting but hardly seeing the dcs during the week. Neither are great options, to be honest.

Ho hum...

MrsMc, so sorry to read your updates here and on FB - it all seems so desperately sad. Sending you much love.

MM - time for a long walk and some action with DH perhaps? Surely worth a go? :)

Filly - thanks for the good wishes. It was a hard day. DH did the eulogy at the funeral and he was so good, I was so proud. We had a nice time at the Wake toasting his memory and remembering the funny and happy times. He´d bought his wife a gorgeous pair of red suede designer heels and had left her instructions to find them and wear them to his funeral, he had thought so much through, he has taken care of the next 5 years for her, what a thoughtful man he was.

It must be hard thinking about going back to work, some days I find it so hard at home (mostly when X won´t do a thing I ask and A is screaming because he has hurt her/done something/snatched something) and think we´d all be better off if I went back to work but I know how lucky I am to be at home and how fast time goes by.

Hello all!! I know long time no talk.

I plan to try to get on here more tho. Speak to you all soon.

Hahaha Filly. Up until last week I was still trying the action with DH method. Might see if I can muster one last attempt, lets face it once baby is here it is likely to be a while.

Am off to Hampstead Heath today though for a walk and am considering the possibilty of Primrose Hill but think I may be pushing my luck with attempting that.

Filly - i always find that the more satisfied I am in an area of my life then the better mummy I am. So my last job was really really boring but I had uni to counter it which ate into my time with DC but I felt fulfilled and therefore my time with them was really great time. I am enjoying being at home now but find that I am not that attentive all of the time, it is quite easy to let E just watch Cbeebies or something although I really hope to fix this once LO arrives, but once I am back at uni in Oct I will need to be organised in a super duper kind of way and I know that this makes me value my time so much and we seem to have more "fun". This is just how it is for me personally.

Bizarely I hardly saw my dad when I was little as he worked really long hours but the holidays we spent in Turkey and some mad protest music concerts that he took me to when I was really young really stand out and I really treasure those memories. I have loads with my mum too but since she was always there they are different in some way.

I can't really imagine going back to work ATM, partly because I don't want to go back to what I did before. I can imagine a fulfilling part time job would be great, but that doesn't help you, does it Filly?

Mixedmama - hope you're not chewing the wallpaper off the walls!

I think DD might have chicken pox. She insisted she wasn;t tired because I kept her off nursery two days because she seemed exceptionally tired and had a nasty cough. I agreed to take her to the playground. She was so tired she just sat down after `5 minutes or so. I bundled her in the pushchair to her chagrin and was very teary until bedtime. It's been about 18 months since she's been properly ill so I am counting myself a very lucky mummy.

MrsMc - I often think that this is a time in life that we will always look back on and miss but can be so hard to enjoy. I always have periods in the day when I love it and periods when I hate it.

I think it is because it is constant LaT isnt it. Same with anything, a job that you do day in day out will have moments where you just wonder why and I think parenthood is like that too.

My induction is booked for tomorrow and since my efforts yesterday which included every single old wives tale going yielded no results am just embracing tomorrow. Am suddenly really nervous though about coping and stuff. I have done this before and been really calm and sorted in my head up till now. The boys are massively excited that hopefully tomorrow we will be a family of 5.

I think you're right. Just like most jobs. Looking forward to hearing your news, Mixedmama!

Hey LuckySalem bet that name could be a whole lot longer now with all your fostering!!

Mixedmama ? thinking of you today! I know what you mean about being a better Mummy when you´ve had some time to yourself, I feel that although I don´t often get any (maybe a couple of hours every month) I need to get some ?me? time soon.

LaT ? has Z got chicken pox then? Poor little thing. On the whole looking back thing, with X, when I didn´t get a nursery place for him last Sept I just assumed he´d be with me until school (this Sept) but when a place came up for him on the Fri and he started on the Tues (1 Dec) it was all such a shock. He loves it there now and I love having that time with A on her own but it makes me realise how fast the months are flying by and my Mum has suggested that I try to get A in in June so that she has a couple of months of overlap with X (she is such a Mummy´s girl, it is going to be so hard on both of us). I keep panicking when I think about that, barely any weeks left of precious time alone with my little girl and then I´ll have no babies at home...

How long do you all actually spend playing with your toddlers every day? I get so frustrated with X, there are so many things I want to do with him and teach him but he can be so naughty and I get so fed up of telling him off all the time (or so it feels).

If we don't hear from you before, good luck tomorrow Mixedmama.

MrsMc - it appears to be just a nasty cough, sore throat and very tired. She is EXTREMELY cross about being ill. She refuses all treatment and mention of it, made me get her dressed at 7am this morning and had to be strongly persuaded that she was not leaving the house. If you ask he how she is etc, she is very cross. Not too bad a day though...

As to playing, Sabela hates being at home so we actually play at home as little as possible. It's partly a hangover from my pregnancy, partly because she has to share me more with Danny (maybe) and also because she is fascinated by other children to the point of hypnotism. I realise now that I hate playing with half the toys she has so it is useless me playing with those. I am now buying toys for myself, as she really just wants to play with me.

I get deeply frustrated playing games where you can only do one thing (like shops), games with rules that don't interest her and when she only wants to watch me and not do anything at all.

I love reading stories (she doesn't really at all), singing, crafty things, building things, ball games, cooking etc and she likes them too.

I do pass many days when nary a toy is touched, but we might have been doing other things like cleaning which she also really loves. I sometimes refuse to play with any toys because I'm sick of them and I tell her so.

Papa is the one who makes her laugh most though. I feel I have to preserve my strength! If I make her laugh or do something REALLY fun she wants to do it to the point where I want to scream, so I tend not to!

I do have days when I feel like I'm just holding the line of good behaviour, but then she has days when she tells me she is going to be naughty and she is.

Where's Gingeme gone? And Lilyloo?

won't give too much away but MM had baby 1-sh am this morning - all well x

Hooray!

I am totally jealous, lol!
Only a few more weeks for me (35+6 today) hopefully then I can have my own LO to cuddle :)

huge congats MM

Saw the pics on FB, he is lovely

Well H has totally taken the p**s now

I won't bore you all with the details but am now not allowing him contact at all with DC

My best friend dropped everything on friday and turned up with tea for DC as I was so upset

As M says I have reached the end of my tether

JKS - cannot believe you are 36wks

M had her first ever parents eve last wed at her private nursery and at first I thought they were talking about a different child She is (ahem) well behaved, quiet, obedient etc....

I told them what she is like at home and they could not believe it

My cat also brought in a dead mouse this eve for the first time ever and I thought I handled it quite well by myself Although a few swear words did slip out

I have also decided to start teaching M some of the phonic sounds for letters etc but in typical M fashion I show her a letter s and start saying SSSS etc and she argues back "no its a P mummy"

Hoe do you do that, Simpson? I know they're doing it at nursery and S is very interested. We've got an alphabet we play with but don't want to confuse her by doing something different. I never actually go to the nursery so can't ask. DH is always rushing.

Sorry H being an arseYou have to do what you think best for the children. Have courage.

S is also completely different at home. At nursery, she walks in, finds whatever toy she has been thinking of on the way in and plays with it. Tehy all comment on how easy she is in that way. She almost NEVER plays independently at home. Drives me nuts. Sigh.

Hugs Simpson xx

DCs have been a nightmare today. The problem is that X still needs a sleep in the day but just won´t go, so frustrating as it ruins the day for everyone. What hours do your toddlers keep and do they still have naps?

I have got a big phonics book that our childens centre gave me for J when he first started full time school as he really struggled t the beginning so have been using that.

It just has each letter on a page (capital & lower case) with a little poem with each sound in iyswim.

Mentioned it to her nursery at parents eve as they have been teaching her to recognise her name (which she can do) and counting (which she can also do) so hopefully they will help too

DD i think is brighter than J but she has to argue over everything and has the attention span of a goldfish

And I second the not playing at all by herself although the happyland school house has helped somewhat as she is obsessed with starting school

MrsMc - Sabela goes to bed at 7 and is up - well it used to be 7 but it's 6 ATM. She doesn't have a nap unless she's ill. If you tell her it's a good idea to have a sleep she definitely won't. If I think she needs a sleep I switch on the TV or take her out in the puschair and if she's tired, she'll nod off.

What about quiet time in his room? MAybe a story cuddled in bed or the sofa? I enforce a 'rest' after lunch but it's just not 'play' time rather than a sleep.

Thanks Simpson.

MrsMc - M has not had a nap for a long time tbh but the evenings can be hard going as she is tired.

She will actually ask to go to bed at 5.30 some eves!!

Normally she goes to bed around 6.15ish and sleeps till 7.30ish in the morning.

Simpson - It might be tiring, but at least it shows that M is learning. She couldn't tell you anything if she didn't understand. THAT wouldn't be any fun for her, would it?

Congrats on the new arrival MM, have also seen piccies. GORGEOUS

Little update.

DD2 is now 1 and had a nice day with cake being the main and most loved event.
She has been walking since 9 1/2 months which is much earlier than DD at 14 months. She is also climbing, saying ta, mum & dad and generally being WAY too forward! lol

DD is now potty trained day & night (loverly) VERY bright and most definatly ready for some proper school in Sept (even if it is just 1/2 a day again)

Simps - I totally agree with the diff child at home and at nursery. DD is sooo hard work at the moment but she walks through the door there and just changes.
Sorry to hear your H is being an arse. I wont comment as have no idea what's been going on. So sorry that I've been out of touch so much.

Hope you are all well and again sorry for being so out of touch

Lucky - good to see you back

Found out that someone at the childrens centre who has looked after M since she was 8mths at least once a wk is leaving on friday

M is going to be soooo upset. I have got her a box of choccies (keyworker not M lol)to say thank you.

M got another hospital appt tomorrow with the dietician. Although the new worry is that M is now getting rather chubby She does love her food

Congrats MM - lovely lovely lovely pictures....trying soooo hard not to get broody!!! (hell, Mia is only 9 months...what is wrong with me?!)

JKS - the next few weeks might feel a bit of a drag but they will be over really soon :)

Then we'll definitely need to organise a meetup :) :)

LaT - I know what you mean about the toys. Although T has had so many nursery playdates recently (here and at their houses) that it felt like a real treat having her all to myself with Mia after lunch today (nursery is 9-12.15) and we really enjoyed doing jigsaws until rest time and then playing 'mummies and daddies' and hanging out in her room all afternoon. Having said that, thank goodness for not having to do it every day!!!

We haven't started phonics-y stuff with her yet, although I think the nursery are doing some as she drew me a very nice T yesterday; she listens to Ari reading every night so has got the idea that words are written down and you read them out,iyswim, but I'm steering clear of teaching her anything as the nursery did a good job with A (although they don't really get started until next year) and she doesn't seem to care too much.

Nap time is becoming 'rest time' with a lot of negotiation here, too. I settle for some quiet time in bed with her dolls and bears, although I never admit to T that I'm happy about that, and always make a bit of a fuss about her not sleeping. Today she told me very solemnly that she would be "bootiful" all the way to bedtime. Actually, she was, for a change :)

And yes, another one here who is 'perfect' child in nursery. But I think I prefer it that way - at least I know I can trust her to behave when other people have to deal with her....

Just had parents eve for J today and I am soooo proud of him.

His teacher even said he was "exeptional"

But unfortunately had some bad news today as I heard that an old friend (work collague) whose baby was delivered at 28wks about 4mths ago passed away on sunday