Jan 2008 - I´m 3 and I own the world

[mixedmamameansbusiness]

It was getting desperate and since MrsMCJnr suggestion came in last and I was being lazy I just went for that - hope that is ok.

Ugh, Simpson. I'm sorry to hear she's being difficult. I just had a whole day at home with S and mostly it was fine but when she's determined to be awful I feel like it's hell. I usually try to get out of the house and I find that much easier. Sabela is also an angel for others. I think this is common. See if the rewards work. They don't with Sabela, though. We tried them for sleep. Basically, she prefers to sleep with Papa then get a star / prize.

One thing I have started doing is surprising her by saying yes to things I feel I can give ground on but I use it sparingly to diffuse things. He jaw nearly hits the floor.

Sabela is very interested in clocks ATM. Is M? I would be tempted to give her a timer for breakfast and take it away if she's not finished. She seems to be doing it with a motive in mind, either annoying you or stealing attention from J. I have done similar with S. Usually it means she wasn't that hungry and was just fooling around to get attention.

Another thing that gets Sabela at times is telling her I don't want to talk to her for five minutes and sticking to it.

I'm not being very helpful. Personally, I'm sick of all the threats and bribes that I seem to have fallen into using routinely and do get her in line. I feel there has to be a better way. I am trying to do even MORE explaining to her and it has some effect. She loves explanations. For example, she crumbled some chocolate whe didn't want to eat on the floor today. She thought this would get me going as I'm clamping down on walking around eating. Instead of telling her off I explained why I would like it picked up, down on her level, as if it was interesting and she did it. M is very clever so maybe explaining why as much as possible, plus reward chart, plus a bit of zero tolerance, like the alarm clock?

Much symapthy though. I think it's a hard age. I know lots of good mothers who have been reduced to tears by it! I know one who was desperately trying to positively reinforce good behaviour and bought her daughter a favourite kind of book as a prize for some better behaviour. Her daughter just said, NO, I haven't been good. I've done X,Y,Z and screamed.

Stop scaring me with the girl talk!!!

Seriously though, Simps, LaT has some great ideas & if you think a reward/bribery chart will help go for it.
Get her to help decide on the 'column headings' and to put the stickers on herself, or ticks or crosses, whatever you're using.

I've used one with Tom on and off for ages, not because his behaviour is bad particularly but it's a helpful reminder to come back from the edge during the day & it's helped him earn 'pennies' at the end of each week to go in his money pot & he decides what to buy (off ebay usually, has to give Daddy the money as his credit card pays lol).

H wouldn't get a chart yet so haven't bothered with him. But we had a break through re the naughty step ( i know some people don't like it) with him last week - he can throw a major strop - so i sat him there and ignored him, except when he got up to look into the kitchen, i just pointed back at the step and he sat down again we were quite impressed!

Well life just got more interesting here, T has broken his leg :( He fell over at sch, not sure sch handled it terribly well & i'm feeling awful as they rang me at 11.30 but we decided not to rush in and get him as he's not that keen on sch and it was his first day back, so decided to reassess after lunch, but by the time i saw him about 3ish i coul dtell straight away he needed a&e, all shaky and tearful, not like him at all.

He had to stay in overnight with DH, possibly again tonight, they are going to assess properly this morning, possibly reset his leg (poss under GA) and 6 weeks in plaster.
I veer between 'kids, eh?' and crying - hormones!!!

Got to cancel registering M today, sort more asthma meds for H, decide what to do re T's soft play party in 2weeks time....argh!

Oh no JKS resetting and more hospital

That's really rubbish when you need some new family together time - I wish I wasn't so uselessly far away so I could lend a hand with washing/cooking and stuff.

JKS how awful.

Simps - I cant help I am afraid but you have all of my empathy as I took E for lunch yesterday to Pizza Hut with a friend and he refused to sit at the table and was laying down on the floor refusing to get up and then eventually sat in the seat (after 30 full minutes of moaning). He didnt seem to want anything particularly as everytime I asked him he just said nothing. Bribery/rewards mean nothing to him, I explain and he understands but sometimes like yesterday just nothiing will work. You are not alone.

well M was better today and did not go onto naughty step until 2pm

Unfortunately it just so happened to be when I was on the telephone

JKS - poor T. Hope he recovers soon, its so not what you need atm

Unfortunately I have really hurt my toe (stubbed it on J's bed) and am in quite a bit of pain Swelling gone down now and can bend it so don't think its broken just badly bruised.

What are people doing for Royal Wedding tom??

My plan was to have a little party in the house, my brother was going to come but his loo has packed up and he is in all day awaiting plumber, any ideas on how I can make it memorable for DCs, just the 3 of us??

Lat - forgot to say, think M will definately respond on a clock/timer of some sort so am going to look for one for her

Well we are hoping to watch it on tv, i have hung some bunting up inside, was planning to outside too but haven't got round to it.
Our local shops are doing a party in the evening - if we've figured out by then how to transport T - got possible wheelchairs to borrow. Hosp sent him home with crutches but he's too scared to try and use them - keen on calling them 'zappers' and shooting people with them

Have no idea how we're going to manage the next few weeks. DH is off work/around for next week, then should be back to normal (ie away mon-thurs). I'm not meant to do any heavy lifting (not sure for how long). School is a mystery right now as his classroom is up some steep & narrow stairs.
Lots to figure out - when i was already slightly panicking about how i was going to do 3 DC anyway!!
hey ho, something will figure itself out....

well I watched the wedding then went shopping all by myself in a deserted Coventry while Nathan was at nursery - got some nice clothes!

Did pick Nathan up early as nursery rang to say he is not quite his normal self - he has a really bad cold, gunky eyes, running nose the lot and as I wasn't at work I didn't see why he should have to be at nursery. He's ok though, battling a virus I think - tired, snotty, coughing. Not back at school until Wednesday so some time to recover.

we ended up having a nice time and the DC had a picnic in the front room (which they loved) waving union jack flags around etc....

My brother ended up making it in time to watch wedding too.

JKS - how is T now???

mm - hope N is better soon.

simps - he's doing ok really. found out from dh that the docs had told him to give less calpol than is allowed so drugs have been reviewed & we are planning on sticking to a strict regime for a few days, he has been up hysterical 2 nights running :( & i've ended up in tears too feeling useless.

M had a 4,5hr sleep though :)
and is spacing out her feeds more in the day which is liberating.

JKS - Sorry to hear about T's leg. How are things now?

Simpson - how are things? Maybe you can give me some tips about how you cope when the first thing a child does in the morning (very early morning) is whinge becasue you're not cuddling them the right way? Apart from lose the plot that is ....

Madmouse - how is Nathan?

When do they get over the 'NO' and 'NOW' phase? She doesn't do it all the time but she does it quite enough for me to be looking forward to the end. Has abyone read this story? It's great!

Hi

I have good news I think.....

I gave M cheese on sunday (under instruction of pead) and we have not had any reaction yet!!!

LaT - no advice sorry as M is truly quite awful in the mornings but sticker chart does seem to be helping somewhat....

Bad news is I have definately broken a toe if not two and its bloody painful, don't want to whinge too much as poor T has a broken leg!!

Hope his first day back at school went ok...

Simps - yey for cheese! Didn't you say your Mum said looking back you may have had similar and outgrew it about 2/3yrs old?

T is happy back at school, phew. Weirdly keen to go too - must be all the fuss they are making of him
H back at pre-sch today too, yey. And he took the bus - loved getting on it, and loved that it had the school badge on the side :)

M generally just being fab. Registered her this morning, had a last minute wobble about adding my Irish gran's name as it turns out M was born on her birthday. But gran's name was Gertrude....and she didn't have a middle name so didnt change our plans in the end. My Dad is cool about it, esp as he didn't even know it was his mum's b-day

Then went out for a breakfast in a cafe with DH & M :)

House is descending into chaos, inevitable really, and DH not even properly back at work yet, oops!

LaTrucha - you need this group www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1187102-I-think-there-should-be-a-bloody-support-group-for-parents-of-3-year-olds

Simpson and I are already there.

Having a fucking great day here

Got a letter from my mortgage co this morning basically saying that mortgage is in arrears as my benefits have been cut (thanks Dave)

Makes me so mad that I am trying to keep a roof over DC head and H is swanning around without a care in the world

Oh no Simpson - make sure that is resolved, go to CAB or similar for some advice.

oh, and more good news

H is coming over to visit DC on 3rd June for 3 days

Spoke to benefits people and am definately not entitled to any more Thank goodness for my parents although I can't rely on them forever (and hate doing it tbh) and they have also got uni fees to pay for my youngest brother who starts his Masters degree in Oct....

Simpson - What an awful day! I'm really sorry. It doe s just prove what an arse H is if he CAN do that though. Small consolation. How do your parents feel about helping you out. I'd liek to think I'd be happy to do it for a DC in your situation.

I was on that thread Mixedmama. Think I'll go back there. S has just started a new nursery. She's going every morning and she's knackered when we get home, and she's deliberately pushing me all the time right now mainly through tiredness and disturbance as DH is also away. When we're out she's great, but as soon as we are 'en famille' she's all 'no' and 'now' as I said before.

Mini rant. DH is going shoppign today for yet more stuff for the BIL wedding and then said he was going to his mums for lunch. We have a bake sale at school today and he knows I am part of the PTA and therefore have been badgering people to make cakes and now he says I shouldnt go to the supermarket and buy ingredients and a cake tin to make a cake because we are short on money! He is insisting on hiring a car on sunday for part of this wedding and possibly next week despite my mum offerin her car FREE. Then he says why am I making so much effort with baking a cake for DS1's class when I dont bake at home. Honestly right royally p'eed off.

AND BREATHE.

MM - did you make cookies in the end???

Hope things ok now.

H has surpassed himslf yet again I am sooooo fecking sick of it, but I won't bore you guys yet again

Basically he is due to come over 3rd June and now I am not sure if that is going to happen and I have told DC too, so they are excited

JKS - well done on school run today with all 3.

I have been a bit worried over M's hearing the last few wks as she says "what did you say??" a lot and needs TV loud etc (esp as J needed grommets) so went to baby clinic today (blast from the past!!) to get referal for hearing test from HV.

Since she did not react to cheese last sunday, I have braved it and given her some more tonight on a dairy/soya free pizza base (I heart sainsburys!!) I found. M had pizza for the first time ever!!!

I have a night out tom (old work reunion) I am looking forward too, just hope I will not be in too much pain with foot

Then on sunday, dreaded meeting with my family to discuiss whether H can come over (he has already booked flight etc) and my mortgage situation

M had her first outting (playgroup trip out to local nature reserve) on thursday, was gutted I could not go with her but my friend whose DS is at playgroup with M took her as I do my maths class on a thurs morning. We did a yr4 test and it was hard Its a course to help your DC with their maths homework which I really need as I am pants at maths and J is rather good!!

Simpson there is so much going on for you! All I can say is that you are doing fantastically well with all of it and I'm non-patronisingly proud of you.

You know where I am if you need a good rant ;)

My friend did maths class too to aimed at being able to help with school work, she found it very useful as the way they do maths has really changed

Simps - I made the cookies. He came home early and was really rather nice to me so I think he realised he annoyed me ever so slightly. Fingers crossed the meeting goes well.

So had the first BIL wedding gathering last night... all went well and I managed to avoid being eldest SIL and just stayed with Em. Had to feign some kind of delight at sitting next to ass hoel BIL or pics feeding himm cake. AND he was wearing identical colours to me cue us looking like the flaming Beckhams and me scowling terribly at the camera. Wedding next weekend then all over. Honestly it is going fine actually cant complain.

MM - not long till its all over then

Madmouse - thanks

Feling a bit better today except for the fact I now have 3 broken toes Could not put up with the pain anymore and went to A&E on saturday afternoon while my mum had kids (v quick suprisingly) and I had x ray etc.

Not a lot they can do, really but have some pain killers etc.

Went out saturday night with some old work colleagues which was lovely although did not stay long due to foot

Good news is my dad is stepping in to help me with house although I hate taking help, I keep telling myself I would do it for my DC

Other good news is M had cheese again on friday and seems to be tolerating it and I gave her some margarine with milk in yesterday and all seems to be ok so far....

i've been trying to catch up but am over a month behind and it just keeps getting worse....sorry all :(

Tamara is swinging between being sunny and lovely and helpful most of the time and a total and utter screaming terror the rest. Mia is still limpet-baby-from-hell, but perfectly happy when right next to me, and still not moving (although I reckon she will be by 12 months at this rate). And Ari is great, but still a fairly high maintenance PFB. And I'm back at work in 4 weeks. Eek...

love to all, sorry for being way beyond pants at the moment x

OMFG I met a friend I have not seen for ages (her DS is 2wks older than M) and she now has had 2 more DC since

I knew she had one but not about the latest, just shows how quickly they are growing up!!

Took M and her little friend (with her mother) to snakes & ladders today and they had a great time!!

J very upset as I forgot his PE kit this morning Normally just leave it at school but on a tues eve he comes home in PE kit after doing football club. he was most embarrassed to have to do PE in a spare kit