FESH Spa & Creche: Plenty more FESH in the brie

[CUNextTuesday]

Welcome all those with aching scars, undercarriages, eyelids and limbs. Find comfort here. Menfolk barred.

Crown for 'impiest child' over here if you plz. Rastus has just got all the DVDs down and is holding them up one by one towards me with a big toothy grin.

Bastard job interviews. Grr.

How are all the poorly babies? Is Squeaks any brighter?

Muse I'm sorely missing the rents already. But we are having fish and chips for dinner, so still haven't cooked a meal.

Can I pick you lovely FESHes brains? I'm about to have to make a decision about when to start mat leave (in order to facilitate some of the ahead planning they'll have to do with cover for me) and don't know what I should be deciding. Part of me wants to work as late as possible in order to have more time at the other end, but will I just be too knackered to do anything? I work from home and am pretty flexible so no commute (although some travelling) and the ability to schedule afternoon naps if needed.

So I'd be interested to know what you did and whether it worked out well. Clearly I can't control when the child decides to arrive, but I'm guessing late's more likely than early. All advice welcome.

I went at 37 weeks and was ready to go at about 35 when I was in pain and knackered. Not having to commute would make a difference. If I was doing it again I'd go at 36 weeks. And I had the baby at 38 weeks, so not everyone goes over. If I'd stuck with my original leave date I would have had 1 day of maternity leave.

Could you use holiday to cut hours in the final weeks? I did 4 day weeks and that extra day was wonderful.

Thanks Muse. How are things going with Bobkate? Theoretically I could use holiday to reduce my days, but given the way things work I probably wouldn't end up actually doing any less so it would be a waste of time. The flexibility of my job is good, but for something like that it would be less than helpful! I do realise the later I leave it the more I risk baby deciding to arrive as soon as I finish (or before), but knowing my luck if I go for finishing earlier s/he will wait till they decide to drag him/her out so I'll be sat around getting fed up. Not that that would be the worst thing in the world.

I went at 36 too and used 2 weeks annual (well, a week flex a week annual) and then two weeks mat leave before due date. Too be honest i was lucky and had a relatively trouble free pregnancy and a simple commute and i was a bit bored with all the time off.

I went at 37 and MB was 2wks overdue. In the run up I has tons of holiday to use up so I did a few three and four day weeks. The fact that I am not keen on my job made the decision to go at 37 easy. I spent the time catching up with pals and enjoying the lack of stress.

Have had a hideous night. HI woke me up to ask me the time and then that was it. Wide awake from 2-5 with droid stomach cramps and a runny nose. Gross. Now shattered. HI is on horse duty. Once MB has had this feed it's back to snoozeville.

hi occars, i used accumulated annual leave to stop at 33, which was a good job seeing as she came at 36! i was shattered and v much ready to go when I did.

Good news here, we both slept in our own beds from 9pm to 7.30am with no crying! Of course, I kept waking to check on her. She's now coughing away beside me, bottle in hands.

Sorry you had a bad night silv.

I went at 38 with LC and like Cunty found the wait pretty boring, esp as I she was 12 days over. Different matter with BC - went off just before 36 weeks and loved the run-up to the birth despite him being 16 days late!!!

First time round my Mon-Fri life was based around work...it can get pretty lonely tbh. So, built up a decent social life while on mat leave and slotted straight back in this time round. Plus running round after a toddler keeps you busy . HTH.

Sorry to hear of crappy night Silv - enjoy your snooze

I went to 12 days before due date first time round and this was fine (no big commute for me either) and he was 8 days late. 2nd time round I went to 36 weeks - I was far more knackered and had hideous backache and I wanted some child free time (LO was in nursery) before number 2 came along.

I have officially 'worked' till just a couple of days before my due date each time (although Clucky will tell you she doesn't believe I work at all!) My circumstances were very strange though, and not indicative of the normal population. I have a job you can't do when pregnant and work in a very male dominated environment, so I was seconded each time to a different department. These departments were also male dominated, and the mere presence of a pregnant women freaked the pants off them and I was handled with kid gloves. First time I organised my own work pattern and had more and more 'at home' days the later I got. (It was worth going in to the 747 simulator though at 39+4 just to see the look on the poor unfortunate captain's face. Smoothest landings you've ever seen, which was a shame as I was hoping for a bit of bumping around to start things off.) Second time I worked from home and didn't go in after 36 weeks. I also used holiday second time round to decrease the number of days I worked in late pregnancy, although this was mainly because I discovered a loophole which meant I would get more for my holidays if taken at the start than at the end of mat leave. I will say mat leave is a whole lot different with your first than with subsequent babies. Merely looking after TT was enough to wear me out at the end. You can't have afternoon naps with a 2 year old around!

Anyway. Is it just me who finds weaning to be the most pointlessly boringly frustrating process on the planet? I'd be quite happy with a baby who only BFs for a year and then can tuck in to steak and chips after that. LG is completely different to TT - which kind of proves that no 2 babies are the same, even within the same family. He likes the food shovelling in as fast as possible. I went down the BLW route with TT because I was bored of sitting there holding a spoon to her clamped-shut lips, and figured that she would ram the food in herself when she was ready. If left to do that LG bangs the food in so fast he has been known to nearly impale himself with a breadstick!

On a related weaning note (Alps you in particular will like this!) - over on my work colleagues work forum a male colleague is asking about the security implications of taking a small refrigerated unit on holiday in his hold luggage to keep his 8mo's ingredients fresh, as they only give him freshly prepared food home cooked each day and they will be arriving when the shops are closed. I told him a day or two of Plum Baby tubs will not kill da baybee!

Thanks everyone - you've confirmed what I thought, that there's probably no right answer.... (Or at least not one I can know in advance).

Boxy I'm loving the image of you scaring 747 captains with a very large bump .

can I have some advice please?

squeaks is getting better, and much more herself today. Having some down moments here and there, and still has a cough/runny nose and taking yukky banana antibiotics. But she's generally back to climbing all over stuff and getting up to mischief.

We are supposed to be doing soft play with a few other mums and babies tomorrow morning. Should I take her? How would you feel about if if you were one of the other mum? i've only met one of them before and should really pull out tonight if I'm going to, as i'll have to alert at least one by email.

Btw, loving impish Rastus cunty

Babies and older kids are all snotty at some point. It's a proven fact that exposing your child to milder illness at a young age reduces their likelihood of developing something worse later in childhood. I'd just go - I wouldn't be bothered to see another child getting over a bug. Clucky's child brings everything round here, and the only time it has ever been an inconvenience is when I mistook labour for yet another bug LittleChick gave me!

casp Different mums have different expectations. Most childminders and nurseries have the rule that you must wait 48 hours after last instance of vomitting before attending again, and not attend with runny bum. (But as neither Bonnie nor Clyde produced anything approaching a solid poo while weaning I generally go at that last requirement.)

I usually halve the 'rules' when it is a private get together. e.g. if Clyde doesn't vomit today I'll attend a mums' coffee thing this afternoon. I would take squeaks in your situation. Be vague or don't mention vomitting or runny poo just in case someone has an issue with it! Runny nose is a constant with babies / toddlers. Just take lots of tissues and keep wiping your child as you don't want to be 'that' mum.

Three hail Mary's y'all! MB is asleep in Moses basket (in the cot) having a nap. Has been there for maybe 40mins maybe longer. I took him upstairs to change his stinky butt, decided to go and have a shower. Stuck him in the Moses with a blanky toy thingy he carried upstairs and as if by magic, by the time I was dressed - bambino sparko!

Perhaps the comfort of the toy settled him? Usually he'd be kicking off after a couple of minutes but maybe the toy was a distraction. Who knows! Who cares!

Is it wise to carry on with the toy / keep that particular toy for naps?

casp I wouldnt worry as for all you know there maybe other kids that are there that are germ laden anyway!

• would like to clarify that I did change his nappy, as the above reads as though I decided not to bother in favour of showering!!!!

He is still asleep................

Thanks for the advice FESHs. I think I would have gone based on your words. But unfortunately poor Squeaks isn't as well as I thought. We tried taking her out this afternoon, just for a food shop, and she spent the best part of two hours from when we got to Sainsbo's crying hysterically - in a pained way. Then we had a seriously runny bum nappy just before bathtime*. And she's refusing milk again. so I guess that's tomorrow off. I have no problem mixing with snotty babies - and Squeaks is currently blowing some stunning nose bubbles - but I don't think it's fair to expect her to go and have fun in a group when she clearly feels rotten and happier with just her mum to climb on.

*Silver lining was that, once in the bath, she had a ball, getting up on to her knees and trying to climb out.

and now she's screaming again.

silv I have no problem with a soft toy sleep aid. Squeaks has one, and it's now more important than her dummy, which suits me. She gets it only for naps - but has had it most of this week for comfort - and, for example, during long car journeys when we want her to sleep. it's big enough that she can find it herself in the cot at night, and it doesn't fall out the cot (like the dummy). I think it's nice for her to have something that brings such comfort.

Yes, I hold my hand up to passing on many of LC's nursery lurgies on to familyBox. You didn't catch our chicken pox tho, eh Box [butterfingers]

Two steps forward, one step back Curls - fingers crossed for a better Squeaks in the morning.

If the toy works stick with it Silver. We bought LC a bunny when she started to suck her thumb. She loved it so we bought another 5

"She loved it so we bought another 5"

Grubby things they are! You've never yet left one round here - but we currently have a toothbrush, toothpaste, sunhat and a bed. Will pop them in when screaming fucking TT gives my brain a nanosecond off wondering whether she is being killed or just being mildly annoyed by Gigglebiz again. If this is what she is like at 3 I despair for my state of mind when she hits her teenage years. BTW are we doing hacking at the weekend? I will be testing the sanity of small mud-coloured horse after 3 weeks off tomorrow!

For everyone else, 3 year old daughters really are the pits. Today she woke LG up by wailing at Gigglebiz, and then when I was trying to coax him back to sleep she went outside and screamed blue murder, and when I ran out to see if she had fallen out of the treehouse onto her head I found she was just trying to herd a stray chicken back into the pen.

Which brings me onto Easter chicks. I have bought so many hatching eggs I may need to go on a shopping trip for another incubator tomorrow...

Boxy I'm with you on the 3 yr old daughters. If Boo makes it to her 4th birthday unscathed it will be nothing short of a miracle. I did actually smack her bottom the other day, something I swore I'd never do. I feel awful about it but I'd reached the end of my tether. Gawd I am turning into my mum... soon I will spend all day shrieking and threatening her with the wooden spoon across the back of the legs. Does anyone else find themselves coming out with phrases your parents used on you? You know the sort...
'wait until your father gets home'
'Will the two of you pack it in' (currently used on Boo and dog, but will no doubt get used on Boo and BB in a year or two),
'Well life is not fair so get used to it'. (my dad's favourite)
'Will you PLEASE just do as you are told'
'Because I bloody well said so!'

In other news, I have just weighed myself. I do not know how* but I have managed to put on about 5 pounds. Gah. I have now downloaded the 'Couch to 5k' app for my iphone and am planning to start running this evening, assuming TG makes it home early enough. If only merely downloading the app was enough to make me start shedding the pounds. I need to lose one and a half stone to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.

Can I ask advice from other formula feeders? Since Weds (which incidentally was the day BB had her first jabs) she has been fussing on the bottle, spitting it out, not taking enough milk, screeching and thrashing around if I try and force it into her mouth encourage her to drink. She will take the first ounce or two ok, but after that it is such a struggle. There are some feeds where I can't get any more than 3oz into her, when she normally has 6. Tis driving me nuts. I wondered if she was getting annoyed with the slow letdown, so changed to the size 2 teats (3+ months) as she is 12 weeks now. Any ideas anyone?

Right, really must get on. We were out all day yesterday which was lovely but house is a tip, I need a shower, the dog wants her breakfast and I have a bloody mountain of washing to do.

• I think all the cookies, cake and chocolate may have something to do with it.

Oh yes... Silv BB likes her comforter at bed time - she pulls it up to her face and rubs it against her nose. I was a bit worried about her suffocating herself to start with and tried to move it, but she wakes up and moves it back, so I have given up.

poo Squeaks can be like that with a lot of feeds. She was just too into everything eslse, so only took enough to ease her hunger so she could get on with seeing the world. i found she has to be sleepy to eat properly. Not feeding to sleep but sleeping to feed. When she was quite young she'd down 180mls first thing. Now I'm lucky if she takes 90 and that's before solids. Takes time to get used to faster teats but they do help if the above is the case because she can get more in the short time she's willing to feed for. but with the exception of mid afternoon, squeaks'milk feeds generally happen before a nap. hTH

btw, I'm now dreading her getting older.

right, I'm dumping the patient on her dad so I can sort bday and mothers day cards and gifts.

I hope this is not the way of the future Casp... she is a bloody nightmare to feed at the mo! I just spoke to the practice nurse and she said she is probably just feeling off colour due to the jabs and it should pass in 48 hrs. Well the 48 hrs are very nearly up, so if she does not feed better next time I will sue the nurse.

Enjoy your last bit of mat leave Casp... what a week you've had. I hope squeaks is on the mend now. Just in time to go to the CM and catch lots of germs from all the other children!

It is very quiet in here today.... where is everyone?

Shit - good reminder Curls.....here was I thinking it was all about me [bad daughter]

Pol - are there still plenty of wet & pooey nappies. If so, I wouldn't worry and just go with it. Babies do not starve and will let you know when they're hungry.

Am supposed to be making brownies for a party tomorrow - have got a fab recipe that involves Rolos. Can I find any freakin' Rolos anywhere????