Dec 08 Mums - Snot Beards, Farty Boos and Willy Milk (not how it sounds!) - let the fun continue!

[Beans33]

Here we are x

Hello all,
Jam I am still up for next Friday if it is still on. I won't be offended if you want to postpone until more people can make it though.

Cannot remember what I had to say very well so will be quick.

rubes glad your bro is ok.

spot hope you and your clan are doing ok in the circumstances, I hope you are surviving, cannot imagine how tough things are at the mo for you. Hoping that B settles down soon.

Sorry for the illies, hope AK is better vag

I totally agree on the time to yourself thing. DH and I are actually both bad at this, well actually he is worse for never going out but I suppose he does get to go to work for time off. I do sometimes go out for a run in the day, though last time I did it he took the kids out to a dad's outdoor playgroup with DS in not warm enough clothes, he had a meltdown and DH was in a big moody, which didn't make it feel worth it for me! But yes, just say I am going out Saturday morning, I want to buy some new clothes on my own and I want to meet X for lunch without the kids. See ya! Also good for them to have both of them I think. DH is v good with kids but he has never done tea time himself, which I think he would struggle with, haha. Well he'd probably give DS sandwiches for tea or something and then it wouldn't be so hard. I think he always wonders how everything is such a mess when he gets in while I'm putting them to bed, if he did it then he'd know....

Oh in excellent news, DD took a bottle! Hurrah. DH got her to do it, just by letting her fiddle around with it. I think it helps that she's been experimenting more with eating (slowly weaning) and so she's getting used to not the only thing in the world to swallow being milk. (not that formula's not milk, but it obviously feels different from a breast and cos she's now used to swallowing bits of food, she was more likely to swallow it I think). And I think I have figured that her 2 hrly wakings are related to overtiredness. I need her to sleep at about 4:30 and then put her down (awake) at 7 and she goes to sleep by herself! It has worked twice but last night she had skipped the 4:30 nap and she went to sleep but did her usual waking up and crying throughout the evening, and more night wakings (though not sooo bad last night) anyway sorry for drivelling on about that, we are braving going out tonight! But only in the next village not in Cambridge.

zj I am jealous, when I go out with mums we don't usually get very merry. Most are usually preggers or driving. I need some drinking partners. jj do you hear that??

Oh potentially I may be able to make a monday meet up. but I would have my friend with me (who has no kids). Just wondering if that would be ok....I haven't mentioned it to her yet, I am thinking it is maybe a bad idea, she was going to come up to cambridge to see me so may just stick with that (she lives in London).

I actually really fancy going to the London Aquariam with the DCs at some point, would anyone fancy a meet up there?

Right I am going now, DD crying and DS scared of something on TV, the wimp.

quick question for hospital bag... some people recommend taking drinks/snacks. what did you take if anything? i've got some ribena straw cartons, but that's it at the mo.

someone asked about vbac tips - this vbac birth practitioner was very interesting, but barely mentioned vbacs, like it was a foregone conclusion that with her knowledge and advice i would of course have a natural birth. hmmm... she talked about the baby expulsion reflex (your sacrum and last couple of vertebrae sort of lift away from your pelvis to give you an extra 3cm room towards the end of labour - so of course, lying on your back is utterly detrimental to that). she basically forbade me from lying on my back at all during labour - favouring lying on my side if i wanted to lie down. she has given dh some WONDERFUL massage techniques for draining excess fluid from around the sacrum, so i am prescribed massage every evening from now until d-day. she has also recommended (tmi alert) an internal vaginal oil to prepare and soften the cervix. anyone used that? it arrived in the post yesterday and you're supposed to put it on a cotton wool ball, shove a gauze around it so it has a tail like a tampon, then shove it in and leave it for 4 hours/overnight. i was too chicken to do it yesterday. anyone done this??? eeeuuugh.

ps - SL, when was your dd born? i want to go back and read your birth story again, i know you posted it a week or so after.

SL of course you are welcome big or small amount of peeps its nice to have company.

Oh defo up for London Aqaurium was just thinking about there this morning as I think both my boys would love it.

Just remembered half term is coming up must get some activites organised.

Just have to tell you all about our lovely arvo yesterday. I feel I moan alot about the monsters but they are quite sweet. There is a large sort of country park place near me and they have this play trail. It is excellent lots of huge outdoor equipment rope/tyre swings mahoosive sand pit etc. Well we went yesterday and the boys were a delight. Took them on bits we normally dont go on as they are for big kids (7+) lots of laughing, and general fun, good times.

Personal space is a huge thing in our house. as DH gets to go to work goes out whenever he wants, goes running every Sunday........... and on and on. I always feel like it is asking the earth of him to make it home so I can go to the gym twice a wk or if I am doing dinner with my girls its arranged weeks in advance. I too would love to go right am off out and bog off on a Saturday arvo for a bit of me time. I know he goes to work but he gets to leave the house.

Trace tea is sometimes all I manage to do in a day.

WG no idea re oil is it a bit like perenial massage??

LIking the massage idea though. SHe is right though lying on your back is so detrimental to keeping the labor going in the right direction. On your knees, hang over a birthing ball. Lay on your side. But most of all try and stay active and moving.

hello.
wg that's interesting about the VBAC and the oil/massage thing. I guess it can only be a good thing if it makes it more stretchy and soft Down Below...go on! Now, I want to say something, but don't want to offend or upset you. Just that I basically did the opposite of what you were told (lay on back for monitoring and IV antibiotics, didn't move around) and ended up with a perfect Phoebe, so although it was not ideal (stitches, piles...) it wasn't bad. What I want to say is please don't worry if, on the day, things are out of your control and you can't follow all the advice. You will have a baby and will not have failed, however she is born. It's fantastic to have spoken to someone who can give such good advice to you and give you confidence.

Hi WG nice to hear from you. How exciting it's all getting! As far as the Vag oiling goes - whoa - that's way out of my area! but I reckon anything that works to make that area more stretchy can't be bad so give it a go!

SL - not a problem - I will be your drinking partner and I will not be preggers or BF in the future! We can kick it off on Monday - bring your friend! (not that I can really turn up sloshed to dd's Passport interview - heck they'd probably take away my passport!) Aahh no they wouldn't, I forgot where I'm from
I'd be up for the aquarium at some point too. I think ds would get a real kick out of it. Great news on the bottle swigging dd. Life will get easier!

DS has started this new 5am waking time which really isn't working for me. We promptly took him back to bed and put the gate up thismorning and he wailed for a bit then hopped in bed and slept until 8 Will be applying this method for the foreseeable future.

After swimming tomorrow we are off to try before we buy, a bike trailer They sell the baby sling up to 10 months and the baby supporter 10-20 months but I'm thinking she will be fine in the supporter and I even have another insert to put in - Vag and SL what do you think? I'll ask them tomorrow. I don't want to buy the teeny one if she uses it just for a month or 2 as she will be 7 months by the time we really start using this after our holiday. We could keep it on the smooth ground for a couple of months too. Also going to see if I can find the supporter cheaper online somewhere - doubt it though.

Hi gals,

WG - when I was trying to get labour started with DD2 I stuck evening primrose oil capsules up in my cervix. The warm makes them melt and then the evening primrose oil softens your cervix. I read about it on here. Re snacks I took bananas and cereal bars. I also took lucazade for energy. I didn't touch any of them as labour makes me a bit queasy.

Trace - I often feel proud when I make a nice tea. Especially if I get it done ahead of time. Allow yourself to feel proud. Has your CBT group discussed "mindfullness" techniques. My counsellor is obsessed with it. It's about training yourself to notice how you feel and accept it without worrying or judging.

JJ - I loved you DD's song. Hilarious! We just call it a bottom. I don't call the back and front anything different. MiL refers to fannies as "Woojies" and to my horror DD1 sometimes uses that.

Rubes - DD1 never liked her buggy board and DD2 is the same. I'm training DD2 to use a scooter instead. It's so cute watching her scoot along.

Veg - I'm glad DS1 is feeling better. Enjoy Centre Parks.

Re time to oneself. You have to insist on equality girls! DH goes to the gym three evenings a week but I've asked him to only go once the girls are asleep as we have little enough time altogether as it is. He wouldn't like it if I disapeared for bedtime 3 times a week so I think he easily understands where I am coming from.

I find it interesting that although DH and I both work 40 hours, it's always me that feels guilt about that and guilt about leaving them at all at other times. Men just don't seem to be programmed for guilt. That makes parenting a lot easier I think.

DH & I do both get time with friends each but as a rule that's at night after the kids are asleep so itdoesnt detract from time altogether at weekends.

him to experience one on one care and organizing bed time. And I think it's good for the girls to be alone with
him as when I'm around they are very focussed on me.

Morning all!

Wg - Heck if she thinks that the oil will make everything all nice and stretchy then its defo worth a go.

SL - great news on the bottle!

Time away from the kids. Well I do work a few hours a week but seeing as I then rush off to do the school run/cook/clean/iron etc...I reckon I do at least a 50 hour week! I'd just quite like tohave a bath on my own without one of them stripping off and jumping in

Nan is stopping at my mums for a couple of weeks to aid recovery. So I'm off there later. Thanks to whoever asked about her (sorry can't remember). She is a lot better, now just planning to have it reversed again....

Wg: no idea re oil but SNACKS. I had an unholy terror of being stuck on hosp with no food, so I took a good range in. Most useful were juice cartons and wine gums. Think energy. The mw tutted at my lucozade (fizzy drink bad), but I didn't get queasy during labour and it wasn't a prob. Sometimes you get told not to eat or drink in case you need surgery, but I thought Sod That and hoovered up the wine gums while no-one was looking.

Trace: you are v right re the birth stuff. And I think you should be proud of all that you are achieving. You are ferrying the girls about, keeping up with friends and getting food on the table. Gold stars.

You are so right about the men not being programmed to feel guilt re: childrearing issues, Avo. Or less so, anyway. DP likes time alone, either just himself at home or with the girls. So do I. He's not one for going out much, although he always enjoys it when he goes, but he likes being at home. My Dad was always in the pub or at work when I was growing up. I only really spent proper time with him on holidays or at Christmas. I wouldn't like that for my girls. DP's Dad was similar actually.

JJ, 'lady bits' is ok, isn't it? Fannies and willies here. When I was little it was called the matter-of-fact 'between your legs'.

Invis, when is your next proper time off? You sound like you've been legging around again. Yes, the freehold is a bit of an annoying saga. I'm on the management committee and basically it's me and another fella trying to do everything, with everyone else being crap about responding or constantly changing their minds. Grrr. Add to this a slippery freeholder and you have the usual recipe for buying a freehold on a group of flats in London.

Rubes, I contemplated a boogie board but figured DD1 would never stick at it. I might bring the double iCandy on Monday - I need to get handy with it! I can be at RFH around 1ish - train gets into Padders at 12.30 and it depends on the cab queue, but 1 should be ok. What did you have done to your hair?

SL - yay for the bottle! And of course you would be welcome to bring your pal on Mon if it wouldn't be too weird for her. Yay also for going out. I enjoyed my Friday and Saturday nights out last week SO much. One with DP, one without - perfect!

WG - I was in hospital for three nights so a bit different. Tbh, toiletries, make up and phone charger were my only essentials I was too jazzed to read a book or listen to music. And they kindly brought me a newspaper every day anyway. As to the oil, it's got to be worth a go. But I think it's all pot luck anyway, as to whether you get a natural birth. On the other hand, I am an ignoramus about these things.

Vag, is DS1 a bit more chipper today? (TMI alert for those on elevensies): DD1 still has green gloop coming out of her nose so DP thinks we should take her to the docs as it looks infected. I think there isn't a lot they can do. She doesn't have a temp, is ok in herself, I think it will fade. Thoughts?

No idea what hapened to the last few lines of my post. Sorry about that.

Deids - I'm so glad to hear your Nan is doing better. She is a strong woman to consider doing it again!

Lady - I just remembered that you had asked where we went to Guilty Pleasures. It was at KoKo. I'd never been there before and I loved it. A club in an old theatre, what a fab idea. We had one of the old boxes at the side of the theatre. Such fun. You say you and your DH were the oldest clubbers in town but we had a 47 year old with us and she stayed on the dancefloor longest! That was the great thing - the theme united late teens with those who were in their late teens when most of the hits were released.

Deids: glad to hear your Nan is battling through. I hope she gets to give a few HCPs a piece of her mind

X-posted LadyT: I wouldn't bother the GP for snot but no temp. I am taking DS2 in next week tho as snot + dribble + eczema means that bits of his face are falling off. Looks really sore, poor boy. And he looks like a neglected slum child.

Yes, DB, your Nan has such amazing spirit. It counts for so much, I reckon.

Oh gosh, I really want to go to Guilty Pleasures. I used to go to School Disco at the Hammersmith Palais (now no more! That's how old I am!) I have a really good pal who lives yards from KoKo. Maybe I can induce her to come.

Yes, think DP is being a fusspot about the snot. She is otherwise full of beans. It has been going on since Saturday evening, but still.

Lady, don't bother with the GP while it's only the snot. DS had a high temp as well which is when I went. That's the main worry.
! should be fine if you can't make it earlier. I might be in earlier I'd say, if anyone else is coming. I will have to leave at 3-ish I'd say. The forms should arrive with your post today. I have included all the photo's I had left I think but It's just one that needs to be signed and I need a blank one as well I think, but all the info's on it and dp can clearly work it out! Thanks so much for this AGAIN! And for bringing it in on monday. Cab queue lol you make me
I've just ordered a different buggy board that might fit my buggy a bit better. I will send the other back if it's the case. I think he just needs to get used to it.

Hey ladies is it too early for one of these...? I love it!

BRILLIANT!!!!! This is going to be my most used emoticon EVER! Well done MN team
Lady - oh my hair was just the usual roots and cut. Getting dh's cousin to try a new straightener on it on our holiday! [hopes hair doesn't fall out ]

never to early for Deids

Lets have another rubes

Sounds good. Cheers Deids

Hurrah! Cheers everybody!

Rubes, I would love to make it earlier but getting there for 1 will already mean leaving my house at 9.20, with all the various buses and whatnots, and DD1 gets up late. There is a small chance I could hop on an earlier train once at Oxford if there is one in, but it will only make me half an hour earlier. Sorry about this.

Oh and guess what - just whilst I was typing this, despite my leaving a note on the front door for the postman to knock loudly, he hasn't, and has left me a card to say your envelope has gone to the sorting office 6 miles away! Would you believe that? We'll have to drive and get it tomorrow. I will ply DP with before I tell him

Oh you're joking Lady! How annoying. I hope dp isn't too I'd probably call and bitch them out for not reading the note, although it will probably do no good Can you pick it up on a Saturday though? Where you are? Oh no, what if you can't!

Following on from last night, I had a terrible night with DD2 up from 9.00 - midnight - she wouldn't take a bottle and was just screaming. She did keep falling asleep on me when I went in, so in the end, I just left her and put my head under a pillow and DH put his earplugs in til she went to sleep. Then she was up at 2 wanting milk, then at 3.30 for no reason and 4.30 for a nappy change and then DD1 up at 6.30. I am so tired. I don't feel like I'm coping very well today. Keep crying and shouting at DD1. Feel terrible for it. And DH is pissing off on a training run tomorrow morning from 7am - 1pm and I'm on my own with them AGAIN. I feel like I'm coming to the end of my tether. He's going to Cardiff tonight to watch the rugby and getting the train back and arriving at about midnight. I might have to ask him not to go running tomorrow. HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO SLEEP THROUGH THE CRYING? His earplugs came out and he still didn't hear a bloody thing. I had to shake him to go and deal with DD1 at 6.30 and he just brought her into bed with us, where she started playing. I need a break.

Sorry, mememememe.

Oh beans lovely, I think DH is really taking the p*ss tbh! When he gets back tomorrow can you just leave him with the DD's? Literally just say 'there you go, I'm having a couple of hours on my own before I crack'. It might make him see how selfish he is being.

In the meantime have a