June '05 Mummies 5 - the one with lots of smiles, and lots of cuddles.

[katzguk]

one brand new shiney thread, title thanks to eym.

have baby powered by atomic battery!
no blooming nap lasting longer than 10 min since 7 am. she is very cranky indeed.
on plus side she loved carrot puree.
called sister for support. she suggested giving myself a break, secure baby to pushchair and plonk her in front of telly with fave dvd.

apparently it worked pretty quiet and i made self cup of tea and popped over here. better check on her.

so glad weekend coming and i can have extra sleep

Aw trib! Why can't we all live in the same street like in olden times and help each other out?! I'd have the energy today to look after Toby for a couple of hours. Really pleased to hear about Anna How disappoinying about the house - not the news you need right now (or ever) is it? Dp lost out on about £25k on his flat in London a few years ago because we experimented with renting it out. Luckily he bought it before a boom so didn't have -ve equity though. Could you not rent it out for a few years until the value increases?

Hub this highchair

Hi again,

Yes KVG it is indeed Friday, take aways,dvd's, ice cream... WE should make it law that none of us cooks on Friday night. I just refuse, basically

Trib - That sounds bad. What's your HV like? After mine did the depression score card thingy and I was borderline she came back the following week and we did it again. it was the same and so she suggested that we meet regularly for 4-6 weeks to chat. It's part of the service they offer to keep tabs on mums. She is so lovely and gentle and just like a 'mum' to me. Getting up and wishing the day was over is horrid. Have you done the sleep lady? Can you include some perks in your day somehow? Mine revolve around food and neighbours it's pathetic, but it's 'me' time.

EYM - what a difficult time for you Don't know what to say.

hi lippy, hi charley. Tell Arlo to listen to Camile and be a good, greedy boy, and to sleep occasionally for his lovely mummy.

Hey, didn't know MB did CHAIRS ????

Haven't thought about a high chair ! Haven't thought about a cot / cot bed ! Haven't even bought a sit up bouncy chair ! I'm just crap ! LOL

Am going to the baby show with dw and dd tomorrow. GULP.

Charley - CAT away - no probs. I always say that there's no point going through crap if your experiences can't help someone else.
You're right about olden times - we were never meant to raise families alone.
Trib, I think that feeling's pretty common. I LOVE 7pm - just to sit on the sofa without having to think of children is FANTASTIC - add a good bit of tv, a take away and a beer and it's my current idea of heaven. And yes, wanting it to be 7pm when it's 7am is pretty common here too - alot to do with sleep deprivation I think, things can feel pretty bleak as the lack of sleep piles up.
Like Lippy says I try to include some highlights in my week - Baby cinema is my favourite, shopping another, and trying to see nice people. I also try to have lunch with dh once a week, going into town on the bus and seeing different stuff makes me feel part of the big wide world - important to me as I found out the first time around.
Last night I treated myself to a long bath and Elle magazine and that felt good too, little things help us through I guess. x

OMG, this isn't going to turn into the "what pram should I buy?" saga all over again, is it?

And at themere thought of spending £169 on ahigh chair. No to mention it has no wheels and doesn't go up and down to suit the hight of the chair you are sitting on.

£169

Yes, the extended family / neighbourly involvement etc. would make things very much easier. DW and I are both at home at the mo, so we can share the burden of looking after a new baby - and ours, by all acocunts, has a good temperament. TBH, I think if either of use were doing it on our own we would go spare... being dynamic / stimulating / playing all the time is bloody knackering. Add to that regular feeds, irregular naps and possibly disturbed sleep... and you're looking at a pretty tough job for anyone.

I worked on a kibbutz in Israel when I was a young lad travelling the globe, learning about foreign cultures and foreign girls, LOL, and on the kibbutz they do have some kind of 'communal child rearing' experience for want of a better description. Quite interesting to look into it if any of you have a few minutes to kill (as if)....

yes communal care is the answer! I ve got arrangements with my local mummy friends to do some shared care for my older one and starting negotiatons for number 2! it s the only way to survive and not have to pay for it!

it means i get to go to the tate modern with baby every couple weeks -keeps me sane.

on nights my friend text me to say her TWINS (same age) are sleeping through

Oh god, Trib, I get up thinking about how long it is until I get to go to bed again, and I've got a sleeper, so with broken nights it's more than understandable to feel that way. Bummer about the house too - we had to take quite a bit under the asking price on ours and it's galling that if we'd sold 3 months earlier we would have got it (or even more) easily.

My current woes are more to do with my increasingly difficult 4 yr old I think - tonight he has scraped his dinner onto the floor in protest at the presence of vegetables (am being hardcore on the eating atm and he is not impressed).

I'm sorry so many of us are having a hard time at the moment. It's nice to have this board as an outlet sometimes.

Lynny, I'm so sorry to hear your news, take care.

OK, off to do the bath/bed nightmare. Would it be very bad to crack open the wine while ds is in the bath???

Evening All,

This has to be a quicky as I?ve a million things to do this evening, so my
Sincerest apologies to everything I?m missing out. I?ve not been able to catch up properly.

Nursery worries ? count me in. I?m going back full time in December. DH is going part time in Jan and will be looking after DS for 3 days a week. However, my real anxiety is for the 3 week gap between the 2 dates, when my poor little mite is being shipped from pillar to post as we will both be working full time. It?s going to be so harsh on DS, not being with either me or DH for 4 days a week. . I?ve got no choice though. I have to go back full time if we want a roof over our heads.

Uwila, really great to ?see? you again.

Lua, hope the embassy trip went okay. I know you were a bit worried about it.

Lynny, big, big hugs to you. Everything that can be said has been, so I don?t want to repeat all the wonderful words everyone else has written, but my thoughts are with you.

Lummox, the formula is going ok. DS is taking it without any problems, the only thing is now he has not ?been? for about 36 hours. I think he is in a bit of pain with him tummy and I don?t really know what to do about it.

Charley/Katz, like EYM said, as you?ve both recognised the PND and there is an issue, you are half way there. I really feel for you both. Depression of any kind is just awful (speaking as someone who was ?there? quite a long time ago). Please feel free to talk about it as much as you both need.

Well, I?m off on holiday tomorrow, so I?ve got to dash and do all the packing, loading the car, etc etc etc. DH has been out 3 times this week, thus leaving the whole bl**dy lot to me. I suspect my nice relaxing evening is going to be spent shoving clothes in bags and loading and reloading the car with all our stuff. Hmm, wish me luck. ?See? you all in a week, have a good one?..

RHM - I try to get to the Tate too - would you like to meet up with the babies? (don't worry if you'd rather stick needles in your eyes tha meet up with someone from MN )
Mrs FP - 'pop'
Charley - have you considered a Tripp Trapp - it's the best piece of furniture in our dining area by a long way. Dd sits in splendour on her lovely bit of kit while we perch on chairs I found on the street.....

evening
lovely dh arrived with cake and wine, he is cooking at the moment.
dd in bed - bliss.
yes i do understand the longing for this bit of free time.

can i sort of invite myself to a tate expedition, not been since baby. maybe i can go by boat from here. trying to avoid tube.

hope you all have good nights and nice hols jonah

That would be great sfx - what day suits you? Most days good for me except Wed and Thurs.

crikey a cultural meet?
think tuesdays good but not coming one.
you can contact me if you want, actually be very nice

OMG real world

trib - what a b*er - is it going to mess up your plans for your new place?

another one here worrying about wishing away time. i try to divide the day into four sessions (hoping that we get a nap between each one) and regard getting through each of them as a minro triumph deserving something, even if just a cup of tea.

sfxmum - sounds a pretty good evening to me.

communal child-rearing quite interesting. there is a bruno bettelheim book about the effects of genuine communal child rearing (children eating/sleeping/playing separately from parents and spending maybe one or two hours a day in the "nuclear family) in kibbutzim in the 60s and before which looks at the effects. very different from what we are all doing.

we've got the Stokke highchair which is the Tripp Trapp one with a tray. we're with you welshy - ds's chair far more expensive than anything er==we sit on.

am impressed at you culture vultures btw. i made it to the Tate about 5 times in 31 years living in London.

Message deleted

Quick catch-up before bed time, busy day tomorrow doing all the packing, shopping etc for my holiday that I didn't do today

Another one here who wakes up in the morning and is counting the hours down until bedtime! Like Lippy, a nice lunch and Neighbours is my 'treat' to get me through (DS1 complains that he doesn't like Neighbours but TOUGH!!!!), or seeing other people with babies, anything to break up the day a bit.

Hope you all have a peaceful, restful week...will be desperate to get back online to catch up with you all after a week away.

Hi KVG. Am only loitering, like a nervous bloke at a M&T sess, LOL... no, we're not gardeners, although I do like plants etc. DW is an English teacher (on mat leave) and I am a computer guy. I'm doing the garden with our local Horticultural Society. Should find out soon whether we've got the plot or not, then the work really begins !

hey just a quick one

we're getting Dd's wendy house delivered and put up today! Am v excited....

Welshie, sfx - would love to meet up! this term I can do every other mon

next term ie from jan will be wednesdays

morning all
after very tiring day yesterday, foung self unable to sleep until 12.30. dd awoke promptly at 1 and then 4,5...sorry for the sleep obsession.

dh and i resolved that he will get up for the non feed wake up calls. although given his deep sleep, social services might have been called by the time he wakes up. during the weekend he will be in charge of naps. we need to help her get to sleep off breast.

communal care- i like the idea,isn't said that it takes a village to raise a child? i plan on involving friends and family. my sisters children had the benefit of the care of interested family and friends all through the pre school years. now its a bit more tricky we are all scattered around london and generally less available.

trib- hope situation gets resolved in satisfactory manner.
we wavered before commiting to buying a property, only did it in march, this was mostly about living in a good area for good schools, frankly given the mortgage, we cant afford private education.

RHM and welshie think we can manage a monday sometime? had a look and apparently must use district must check station access. do any of you b/f?

eym-hope little georgia and mum are doing ok

hope you all have a nice day

sfx/welshie -my next day is mon 7 nov

yes i b/f

to get to tate i go to st paul s and over millenium bridge - lovely way to get there....last time wrapped boy up and fed him looking over the river at st paul s reminded me why i love london.......

my nights are still pretty hellish too....dh back from japan so will have a Discussion about sleep lady

SFX - hope the pushchair/tv technique is working for you!

Hub - I forgot all about the baby show!! Hope you're having a great, if not, interesting time and come back armed with plenty of "best highchair/cot/rattles/walkers.... " etc etc. I knew a few people who went off to work at Kibbutz(s?) when I was younger. Love the idea of (daytime) communal child rearing. The last book I read (which was before I had the baby ) was set hundreds of years in the future and described a society that did that - sounded great. And they grew their babies in jars - very civilised if you ask me! I had no idea btw about your application to the CFS. Hope you get in - good luck

MrsF - I have started a routine whereby I pour myself a stiff glass of wine at about 6 - an hour before ds's bedtime. I find it really helps with the bath/bed thing It also means I wind down earlier so I go to bed earlier.

Jonah - I can totally understand your apprehensions about the 3 week gap. I really hope it doesn't upset his routine too much. I guess the best thing to do would be to make sure you write down his nap/feed times for everyone to try to adhere to? Have a lovely holiday!

Lua - how's dd?

Welshie - yep, it's looking like it's going to have to be a Tripp Trapp for us, just wish it came with a tray, I think I've seen one that will fit on ebay, but it's about £40!!. Lol at your chairs found on the street!!

I'm very of you lot going to the Tate Modern. I used to go all the time when I lived in London. Actually we've been playing around with the idea of moving back....hmmm.....

Lummox - where did you get your tray for the Tripp Trapp? That Bettelheim book sounds dead interesting - can you remember what the conclusions of the study were?

Lynny - Obviously I've never met you, but I can so see you at that medieval banquet thingy - you're going to have such a laugh! Hope you get a dishy horseman

KVG - I'm sure it's not a good thing to be handling/interacting with your baby all the time - how will they ever learn to amuse themselves? I'm convinced they love a bit of time out just to get some awareness of who they are and contemplate things. Wish my ds would watch tv or a dvd for 2 hours throughout the day! He does love lying on my chest watching the Itunes visualiser to Baby Einstein - he's transfixed for about 20 mins! Glad to hear you're managing to nap with dd. I have to do that during his morning ones - don't always get to sleep though.

We are going to try putting ds's cot in the spare room tomorrow. I'm scared.