FESH Spa & Creche - The Messiah is late - 'e's a very naughty boy!

[AlpinePony]

2010 - the best year of my life, for half of it I was pregnant and for the other half had my baybee.

Oh yeah Hom's solicitude lasted the week he was off eork. Now he expects to not have any modification to his life in any way and for me to do all the compromise. When i think how complicated my going back to work ritual is going to be and he had the audacity to complain he might have to sit outside the childminders in the car for 5 or 10 minutes until 8.15. And complain about me parting with money for a new bike so i can get into work at 7.15 and leave at 5 to cycle to the childminder so he doesn't have to drop me at work at some godforsaken hour,and equally doesn't have to fret about walking the 200 yards to pick rastus up at bang on half five when she turfs the kids out.

I can't help thinking if the roles were reversed and he was the main breadwinner and had a 10 hr day including commute and had a very stressful senior management job, he would not expect to have to do the running around as well.

Just to make you feel even better muse i think i can count the number of nappies he's changed on two hands and he WILL NOT change a dirty one now Rastus is on solids because it makes him retch. And he never ever volunteers to do anything. I always have to ask

alps Sometimes I can really FEEL the love between you and jb. It's such a beautiful romance - you make the rest of us jealous.

casp OK, OK, I got your message now. I'm such a dolt and am still trying to get used to the fact that I live in an area with mobile reception now, therefore should actually check my phone from time to time.

museum MrP is brilliant with the help but seems to only be capable of one thing at a time. This means that if Bonnie asks to watch her Thomas DVD he focuses 100% with her on the frigging tooting trains on the telly, even though Clyde is on the floor right in front of him about to pull the coal scuttle over on top of himself! (This actually happened. Clyde has a bruise on his cheek bone.)

Then he tells me I have to stop fretting so much about the children's safety as it's making me really on edge. OK, probably true, but I want to scream YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

That's ok fan. I'm working on filling your email inbox now.

I have to agree with the majority I'm afraid Muse. TG was great when on paternity leave, couldn't do enough, fetching me drinks, making sure I ate properly, looking after Boo, doing all the washing/dishwashering/cooking etc. (He doesn't know how to clean a bathroom or notice when the hoover needs to be pushed round mind.) Now he is back at work, all I get is 'I am SOOO tired, my life is so hard, you don't know what my job is like' etc etc etc. I know he works a 10-12 hr day (but in fairness the first couple of hours is spent writing his book in the peace of the office before anyone gets there) but he expects to just switch off and rest when he is at home. I figure we both work hard every day, and once we are together, whatever is left should be shared. He is not of the same opinion.

Alps I have been snorting tea out of my nose at your JB Rage today. I'd have made him sleep in the fucking car, not the bloody lounge. But then I am not exactly of sane mind of late!

Fanny I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. You have so much on your plate and I think you are Ace.

An I rather expected that might be the case. I shall prepare myself accordingly. TBG is due to start a new job in April and I know that is going to be tough as ir's hard to sleepwalk through a new job. He's already said he'll sleep in the spare room.

An I rather expected that might be the case. I shall prepare myself accordingly. TBG is due to start a new job in April and I know that is going to be tough as ir's hard to sleepwalk through a new job. He's already said he'll sleep in the spare room.

It's good to be prepared for the helpfulness to end.

muse you never know, he may priove us all wrong

I echo cos he may be the rarer breed of menfolk. HI and I had a bit of a to do awhile back. He considered himself to be helpful and a good hubby/father. Yeah when I asked him to "change a nappy" "give him his bath" "get MB ready to go out". Or I'd be at the stables having left MB with HI to find them both still in their pjs (which is fine) but then HI would get himself washed and dressed and leave MB for me to do. So if these things also happen to you I suggest a huge argument with the throwing if implements optional to sort it all out. Now HI is much better for the most part. Now he waits til he sees me park on the drive to rush to get MB dressed. Tho most of the time I do have MB with me. HI has yet to have him for a full day. In fact I am going out Fri night and HI will have to do the whole bed routine and I already envisage it going tits up and me receivig a desperate call. Tough. He'll have to cope! Like wot I would when he's not here.

HI wants me to make Drs appt and so I can get tanked up on ADs. Prolly so he'll have a nicer time. Cos get this I make him depressed and he's the most happiest person there is and he never gets down. Never. Cos when I had an emotional moment yday he didn't even text or call me for nearly six hours. So hardly concerned. Men are cocks.

Got he fat boi weighed today and he's not far off 17lbs! We also went to Gymboree. Was mega mega and he LOVED it. Lots of smiles and laughing. Bit embarassing when he refused to let go of Gymbo the clown!

BFers - are you eating for England?? I can't stop eating. In fact I Am considering going back out to get some crisps. Which is ridiculous and I am just being a pig.

Finally got some more thank you cards. I've done the majority but Clearly I haven't done the remaining quick enough cos she was gonna buy some and bring round for me to write and post. You know the reason why I've not done the rest has nothing to do with having my hands full with a young baby. No. Never.

GAH - MB screaming!

My man experience: first child, absolutely hopeless. Second child, much improved. He has not complained about how tired he is nearly as much

I do love him and we are happy and not heading for the divorce courts really. I'm just over-tired and over-stressed. Today I was dealing with crap from Egypt. Fuckmonkeys.

Bear is not a happy bunny with upper teeth coming through and we think he's upset about the house move so I'm going to let him settle before putting him in his own room. I don't know if this is the right decision or not. All I know is that I'd kill for a straight 8 hours. Or even 6.

Just watching EE... poor 'eather's going to lose that baybee innit. :(

Men. Well my experience with Mr Moo has been mainly wonderful but with some teething ishoos along the way. God bless him, he had a trauma seeing me have little babymoo but he was a rock and did everything he could to help and continues to be chief cook (even if he does really struggle sometimes and needs a bit of help), dogwalker and general person that I moan and nag.

I think the main problem that we face is the competitiveness over who is most tired. He can't help me with night feeds or even just last feed of night as we left the bottle too late and Babymoo refuses it now (muse if you want your OH to feed little Bob make sure you express even the tiniest bit and get her to take it every day - don't make the mistake I did thinking it would be ok when mine took the odd bottle and then suddenly didn't 4 weeks later) That has been the hardest bit as at some level I resent the fact that yes he gets woken but can go back to sleep and I have to get up. When he then moans about being tired, I get a bit . Still, he gets the morning nappy change and if little one wakes up early after 6 has to sit with him. I refuse to feed before 7!!

I think the tiredness and exhaustion takes its toll on any relationship, but so long as you can laugh though it you'll be fine. It also helps if your OH is good at letting you have an hour to yourself and doesn't need to be asked to do stuff. (ggrrrrr).

I did actually send mr moo to the spare room in the early days sometimes. I found it less stressful knowing that I'd be up several times and not waking him. He was more use to me on a good night's sleep and not whinging and knackered. Worked for a while but then I demanded his return!!! .

The feeding to start with is hard but I just wanted to let you know muse that 3 weeks in everything does get alot better and now at 14 weeks I don't have any problems and find it easy. I wish he'd take a bottle but I can't be arsed now and we are weeks away from introducing baby rice etc so its not worth the pain really. 4 months is such a short space of time in my life that feeding him every night is not the worst thing in the world.

muse I forgot to add that hearing people say he newborn stage is short and it all gets better can be hard to hear (well for me anyhoo's cos the little tyke got nasty colic and every night was frigging torture) when you are weeks away from where they are cos you can't even imagine a day or two down the line and coping let alone weeks. But honestly before you know it you start to wonder where the heck the weeks are going. Often things improve and you don't even realise. I second getting ze baybee to take a bottle sooner rather than later.

I agree with moo about the competitiveness on the tired side and I also struggled with trying to stay awake bfing in the early hours whilst HI literally rolled over and went back to sleep. I asked him to move into the spare room but he wouldn't. He said the waking in the night wasn't a problem for him.

As box said first sprog is a shock to the system, the relationship and everyfink. Reckon second time around it has it's moments and can be equally as hard but you have the benefit of the experience of your PFB.

HI has good qualities despite my bitching about him. He cooks, cleans, dawg walks, does the hoss duties, works his lovely butt off for us, adores us BUT can he communicate? Not if his bleeding life depended on it.

I took the piss out of SFF for his tiredness at the start. It seemed silly, but I actually kind of got it. From my show right up until a few hours before delivery, I was really chilled but he was stressed. Then he had to deal with driving back and forward etc, and my readmissions to hospital, meanwhile I was accepting that all I had to do was look after my girl and NOTHING else mattered. Yes, I was tired, but physically, rather than mentally. I was just drinking it all in and dealing with things as they arose. And I had the adrenaline etc for the first week or so.

But as they say, for the dad parenthood begins at the birth - at that can lead to some pretty extreme mental tiredness. He looked so much worse than me in those early days - particularly after my parents left.

We do have the odd spat over who's worse off: he's been on nights (rarely gets an actual job to attend though) V me being up all night with baby. Him getting/wanting a lie-in after the end of a four-day shift pattern V me never getting a lie-in because I get up with baby. But we just strike deals. Yes, I will get up with the baby in the morning, but it's always his job to walk the dog. Or, as we did recently, we had two nights out on the trot and took turns to be the one who was allowed to have a hangover and the one who was on Squeaker duty.

Doesn't mean he's any good at making/cleaning bottles unless asked. Or getting her into decent clothes. Or packing her stuff to go away. But this way I stay in control and he does what he's told

Oh and the Thank You cards bit was in reference to MIL!

Oh and now HI is much more proactive in MBs care and I have to ask him to do stuff less cos he's already taking him off me to take over. This for me is important cos him being reactive to my every request or begrudgingly doing stuff made me feel like a single parent. And it made me miserable. It's a team effort. In both making and raising the baybee. So there. Men need reminding of this fact. Not every man I'm sure. But deffo my man.

Wait till your lickle babies go to nursery/pre-school and the staff there can tell who got the child up and dressed in the morning - if it looks as though child was dressed by a colourblind weirdo, chances are it was daddy. How many times have I had to bite my tongue and smile when people say 'ooh, that's a different look!'

Here's a man-to-man moment of understanding: the day BabyChick was born, OH made takeaway dinner (and delivered it) for Clucky and Mr Cluck because he knew how tired Mr Cluck would be! I have OH whipped into shape . He doesn't need much whipping, but hey, I'm sure there's a reason he went for a horsey gal!

boxer One of My weirdo ex had a daughter who lived with us. As you say, when daddy dressed her it was like she'd been let loose in an Oxfam shop wearing prit-stick underwear. When I dressed her she resembled a child.

I had a wobble and a cry last night, I was desperately trying to work and was trying to pull some figures together in a way I've never done before - I know it's easy for all you accountants but it's new to me. Bear was screaming and screaming upstairs and I was sat with my laptop and tears running down my face. JB got him to sleep and got dinner on. We won't mention that the mustard mash contained bearnaise rather than mustard. Wtf? Who on God's green earth doesn't know what fucking mustard is?

Things are brighter this end, Bear slept for 12 hours last night and I woke up in daylight! We have an appointment at the creche this morning to see if we're posh suitable and so I've just picked out an outfit for Bear. See above for explanation.

lol at Gymbo story, Artie fecking loves that gymbo hand puppet - we have the free one they give when you join at home and he's so not interested in that, but when you do the song with the hand puppet you cannot prize it out of him! it's vv cute :)

Be warned though, the songs will never leave your head. Ever.

See bumcrack for much belated set of Artie shots.

cos there's a job I'd never get as I can't sing a note. Not even Happy Birthday in tune!!! MB not so keen on the chimpanzee finger puppets. He screamed and burst into full on tears accompanied with red tomato face!

Pics on t'crack are lush! Artie is a dude!!!!

Alpi hope you are ok!!!! Tears are a good release and I'm sure the extra sleep helped. Am sure Bear will adjust to his new pad in time.

It?s been interesting reading about your various menfolk. I must admit that the way some of you talk about them makes me wonder how you are still together so good to know that it is not all bad! I do expect MrM to be great, but he does have a tendency not to see certain things that need doing. And he accuses me of criticising him for not doing things the right way ? which is actually a fair accusation and one I need to chill out about.

PS ? I thought if you were BF you shouldn?t start introducing a bottle for expressed feeds till 6 weeks?

5 or 6 weeks is best yes, to ensure bfing established.

silv weve had lots of tears at gymboree as artie not great with loud noises - the week with the rain shakers was interesting

This is going to be a ranty post...

Fucking fuckers downstairs can fuck the fuck off. They banged on the ceiling because I walked across the flat and flushed the toilet at 5am. What the fuck? They know we have a new baby. They're lucky I was exhausted or I'd have gone down and shouted at them and probably got myself arrested. But seriously, they live in a converted flat. The soundproofing is shit. I can hear every step upstairs take, but I don't moan at them because there is nothing they can do.

I wish they'd hurry up and move already. They've sold their stupid flat. Go rent somewhere.

twats! get your own back by making bob scream at them at 3am

Sat here waiting for the fecking ILs to leave....quietly seething at every banal utterance from their stupid brains [grr]

The boy fed pretty much constantly until 4am and me nips feel ready to drop off. Cossie - plz to explain how I can get him to open his mouth wider before latching on....he can do it while he's screaming but clamps down when the nip goes in [OUCH!!!]

MrCluck has been pretty good so far but agree with much of the above on general uselessness once pat leave is over. That said, the pizza delivery from MrBox was an inspired bit of thoughtfulness and very much welcome - top marks to that man on this occasion

Hope the creche check goes well Alps and well done on the budgeting....is god-awful job even for us accountants.

Yay! Bear in to creche Tuesdays & Fridays 8-6 (can be longer). They arrange the tax rebate for us so all I'm going to see is a bill of ~120 euros a month. Get in!

Am so happy am considering pulling a sicky on Tuesday to lie on couch surrounded by Kit-Kat wrappers.