July 2010: Better child-proof the home, it won't be long now 'til our babes start to roam!

[MyLifeIsFeelingFestive]

New thread.

As you were

No no no, my post just saying the word "affair" was because I had spelt it wrong in my previous post and I'm a bit anal about spelling so I was correcting myself!

God, no, he's just into his football. My bil (Southampton fan) would prob turn his phone off completely if he was at Sptn match up north (he probably was at that match this week - he hardly ever gets to see them, being up north too).

I used to be fanatical about football and dh wasn't allowed to SPEAK while a match was on etc. Well, not quite, but I'm saying I understand the fanatical approach to football some people have - not that it excuses his behaviour that night or anything. Sick babies take precedence every time

Oh god tsc i seriously doubt it. Men just really dont think sometimes hence not being able to contact him the other night. He's probably feeling the pressure of things but at the end of the day he's not dealing with half of what you are. He's not having an affair. unless it's spelled out in black and white for some men they just don't see the pressure we're under. Going to try and find your thread now. Please don't let them be putting ideas into your head. You really have enough to be dealing with at the minute

Oh yes., meant to say Needle a friend of mine has got pg 3 times while bfing so it's definitley possible.

Just read your thread and have only realised the extent of what he done and how sick little franko is. I can imagine that you just feel so let down and upset on top of being completely exhaused. You probably don't have the energy or the will to row. What i would say is to get frankie better and then deal with this but then if it me in the situation i'd probably just snap at some stage and then he'd switch off. So maybe a talk is in order? whatever you do, try and look after yourself too

tsc hope ur ok. Men are rubbish and as said above, need everything spelling out for them. Hope u get chance to tall with him son and sort everything out.

Wrt naps, ds has 2 or 3. Usually 30 mind around 9, then 1 to 2 1/2 hrs at 12ish. Depending how well he sleeps might have another 30 mins between 4 and 5:30. He then is usually in his cot at 7ish and up 7ish in morning (with 1 or 2 wakings).
He feeds roughly 7.30, 11/11.30, 2.30/3.30 then 6/6.30. Some days he needs to have a little feed before his.bath, maybe at 5 if fed early, some days he isn't interested unless tired and in a dark room and some days he is starving! Can't remember who was asking, but cld try distracting lo for as long as u can when he asks for nxt feed to extend time btwn (even 5 or 10 mins each time will help). The longer he goes btwn, the better the nxt feed shld be, then the longer he will be able to go. I tried this with ds and it seems to have worked. He still has.some hungry days but mainly we get by like this. I have found though that if he feeds much during the night, he isn't interested in his morning milk, which then throws things out for the rest if the day. I've therefore started giving him just a little in the night (luckily he doesn't need to nurse to sleep), so just a few mins from each side to.quench thirst.

Gosh sounds like I'm really tough on him. To be honest this is the routine.he's fallen into. We're all up by.7am and dd has bath book and bedbtwn 6 and 7, so ds seems to have fallen in with.this.and it suits us!

wonder starting to get worked u about weaning too. Planning on starting 2moro.
Hope u all have a good night with lots of sleeping babes

tsc I am shattered with two healthy children and a supportive dh, you are doing an amazing job. I think often men respond to stress by opting out - in the past mr stuff has done this, when I was pg and when dd was tiny he went out with his mates alot, after I have words he does tend to man up and get himself sorted - I hope your fella sorts himself out soon and that frankie gets better quickly x

Oh hon, I'm so sorry - can you not get him up and either give him a list of stuff that he needs to do or tell him you need some sleep and he is to look after the kids for a couple of hours, or even the rest of the day tbh.

I second the advice to get an hour for yourself. But what you need more than anything is to get up and man up and give you support. Not that it would excuse what he done, but is there anything else playing on his head? just when you say he's acting out of character maybe there's something worrying him?

Hey all,

tsc sorry I've not posted here or 'there', have been travelling oop north (waves to mlic, tsc and other northeners) to visit inlaws and had to talk to dh during the journing to keep him awake as we left so late.

Probably a bit late to be useful but here's my twopenneth:

Your dp has acted like a man an arse but I agree with you that he isn't actually one. Is some of his behaviour lately his passive agressive way of showing you he's a bit fed up with F's feeding/sleeping and not having time with you alone/much time to himself plus doing a lot of looking after clara? To be clear I'm not saying he's justified in this or that he's got harder than you (of course he hasn't) but the big difference is whilst you've bonded with frankie and have a reason to sacrifice everything for your 'son of love' ;-), dp hasn't had a chance to bond with him so it must all feel like just a pain in the arse right now.

Of course, he still needs to grow up and start thinking and acting like a parent ALL the time (not 98pc of the time).

It is salvageble, totally. Don't listen to the women telling you to leave him or chop him up into bits!

Believe me, I'm the scariest wife alive and have v high standard of acceptable behaviour in dps/dhs - dh mostly behaves because he's too scared of the consequences not to ;-) but even I wouldn't leave him over this kind of idiotic behaviour.

You all need a break, lots of baileys and cuddles. You'll get thru this and come out as a stronger couple.

mlic's suggestion is perfect. I know you feel like you can't leave frankie at all right now but an hour to yourself will benefit all of you.

Oh and aurelia was up for 3 hours on me last night. Think we've realised she just doesn't like being away from home. F was such a terrible sleeper anyway that we didn't notice much of a difference when he was this age and we travelled away from home!

Hope she's better tonight. She's gone down for both morning naps slowly but went down in the end so hopefully that bodes well.

I agree with cakes everyone of our dp/dh's can be ar**s but deep down its no meant. I do think you need a break though even if its just to lie on the bed without any of the kids. As you say dp is a more than capable dad, maybe letting him have frankie more will strengthen the bond. Hope frankie gets signed off. You are doing a fantastic job x

{{hugs}} hope he comes back more resonable.

How can he possibly think it's ok? he really needs to accept what he's done is crap or how are you meant to move on from it. A lot of hurtful things are said in a row that we don't actually mean but he needs to adknowledge the fact that this has really hurt you. God men can be such twats sometimes. And i think all our dp's have theirnown type of twattish behaviour so we can understand that he's not usually like this. It just seems that something is troubling him and i don't know why i get that feeling. Probably feels surplus to requirements when it comes to frankie as it's you that has to do everything becausebof the way his feeding is.
Mlic i just snorted reading that! Im sure whatever you wear you'll look lovely...but sort your armpits out love.
I'm going out too. All the women from our little estate are going for a meal and drinks. There'l be such a mixture of ages and types of women! i'll be the youngest amd haven't been out with them before as we only moved here a 1& 1/2 years ago so lookong forward to it! they're all lovely!

Tsc, hope everything us ok. Hugs from me too. My dh didn't bond with dd as felt pushed out (and didn't really try much tbh) because I was bf and he didn't know what else he cld do. Caused lots of rows now I think of it as worked late as was generally useless. Did buck his ideas up though when realised what was happening.

Hope those going out tonight have a good time