Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

Yes I second DrSkidd!!

Weren't you Skiddaddle before?

I give you permission to lace smug cow's coffee with laxatives

aaw she's actually really lovely the girl that got it and not smug at all, I'm just a bitter and twisted old bag

yes maybe DrSkidd is better... especially as it might be the highest I get in my academic (non)career [self-pity emotion]

ooh that is exciting clara - did you have to apply?

Also saw somewhere (fb?) that you are training to be an NCT support person? Tell us more!

would appreciate any advice here

Have posted skid, not much use though sorry

Hi Skid - have added my totally expert opinion (not!) to your thread, I hope you get some reassurance there.

I have applied to do antenatal tutor training with the NCT but am still waiting to hear back from them. The local tutor encouraged me to apply as they have grants available for our area so I really hope it comes to something. I am feeling quite impatient waiting - I like to plan ahead and I can't really do anything until I know if I have got on this course or not.

thanks both

clara - so would you run antenatal classes and stuff like that? Sounds like a great idea. Do you think you'll ever go back to your old career or do you fancy something completely different?

Aww Skidd - no advice to offer you but massive sympathies. DS is really trying at the moment constantly throwing tantrums, have to fight to get him dressed, get him in the bath, get him out of the bath. Tried threats, bribery, ignoring him, cuddling him and nothing works.
It is bloody exhausting
Rest of the time is such a sweet little boy.

On a lighter note DS refused to leave nursery until he swept the sand up in the messy area with a dustpan and brush I've told the manager I may need to start charging them for his cleaning!!

Yes Martha is a little madam at the moment as well. She has a really bad cold and is sleeping badly, which isn't helping, but I am really struggling to get her to sit at the table to eat. In desperation I have started a star chart, which has some success. But the problem is dd1, of course, wants one too - and is very good at doing everything on her list so that she gets her "treat"! I actually prefer the idea of a jar or something similar with beads - put on in if they do what I tell them, take one out if they don't. That way I can be a little more flexible about what they get rewards for.

Skid - yes I would run antenatal classes. The training is part-time over 2/3 years, you do it at your own pace but tutorials are only one day per month so shouldn't be too hard to cover childcare (they do say it's better if you have some decent child-free time during the week to study as most people find it hard to do too much in the evenings...). I'm not sure how much work there would be at the end of it but they are hoping to start getting contracts with eg children's centres (if there are any left by then...) so there would be more work during the day. At the moment, most NCT classes are evenings/weekends. I am still waiting to hear back from them so keep fingers crossed for me!

In the mean time I won't go back to the FCO (which is what I did before I had dd1) as it's either London or overseas based and we want to settle here, especially now dd1 is in school, and dh has a new job he is enjoying in Birmingham. I am toying with doing a course to become a counsellor - I would start with a one year course, and then decide to carry on and do it properly. But I am not sure about that yet....Otherwise I have NO IDEA what to do to earn ££££££££...

Skidd, not sure how much use I'll be but I've posted on your thread. Sorry to hear you didn't get the job I hope you find something soon. WRT your name, I did remember you as Skidaddle so skid marks hadn't crossed my mind! DrSkidd is good though, you should be proud!

Buzzy, how is your healing going? I think I could put up with a scar and an odd belly button to have a nice flat tummy again! Glad it went well telling new man about the op, how are things going with him?

Clairey, that bloke on your night out sounds a right creep - urgh!

Clara, the whole job thing is scarey isn't it?! Sounds like you have some good ideas of what direction you want to go in though. I don't have a clue what I'll do yet . I'd like to get by doing bits and pieces - carry on with my bit of typing I do, stay at Tesco if I have to and do a bit of photography too but don't know if this will work. Trouble with me is I have no one who can help me out with childcare at all and I hate the thought of putting the DCs into clubs or with childminders to cover shool holidays (even if I could afford to!) I also don't want to end up doing more at Tesco, its mind numbing work and the daytime customers are far ruder than those in the evenings! I have spoken to the ladies in the school office and the Head has agreed I can volunteer in there once DD is at school to get some school experience but even a school secretary job (secretarial/PA work is what I did before DCs) would require at least 2 of the DCs to go into breakfast and after school clubs. Is it affordable? No point earning just to spend it on childcare. It's not just about money, I don't want to be stuck at home bored and feeling useless either!

BT, DD has tantrums about similar stuff to Daniel, some days I have to wrestle her into her clothes while she screams at me and wriggles away, getting tights onto a squirming toddler is not easy! She's very strong willed when she wants to be. How is Daniel's head now?

Had a fright with DD this week when she fell down a flight of stairs in the shoe shop, she literally went head over heels twice, scary She had a nice bump on her head but otherwise seemed fine, myself and the shop lady seemed more shocked than she was! I think other than that she is okay although she has mentioned a couple of times she has a sore knee, not sure if its because it has a graze on where she fell over last weekend or if she hurt it falling, its not swollen so I'm just keeping an eye for now!

She's also going through a phase where anytime I tell her off or ask her to do something she doesn't want to (get dressed, into buggy, wash hands...) she screams that she wants her Dad! She's always all snuggles afterwards but it must sound to others like I'm horrible to her!

Eek scary Beckle, glad she wasn't hurt.

DS screams "don't hurt me" everytime I tell him off, people must think I beat him!

I also have no idea about work...I'm keeping my eyes open but not searching in earnest yet. Seem to veer between "I need to work now" and "aaargh how am I going to manage/juggle everything"

I was just feeling a bit crap about valentine's day and being single...then I reread my onygo thread from before I split with H and it made me think thank god I am single, imagine if I was still living that life

FO - dwell on the positives now!!! You are young, free and in control of your life!

Beckle - oh no, hope DD is okay. DS is much better, bump all gone.

Stranded - glad it is not just me, DS is fully into the terrible threes

Clara, that sounds really good. Good on you!

DrSkidd I endorse what others have said. If you think yourself there may be something going on, go see your GP or find an OT who specialises in pre-schoolers, if only for your own peace of mind. Mothers are usually very good judges.

Beckle, your heart must have been in your mouth! Had similar with DD1 (8) on Saturday who managed to do some sort of 360 degree flip on a swing and land fully on her nose. Obviously in loads of pain so off to A&E we went where they just gave her Pamol and ice and said they couldn't tell if it was broken due to the swelling. Poor thing has 2 black eyes now. It doesn't look crooked but I'm to take her to the GP next week for another check.

Aww Clairey I feel for you. New man rather embarrasingly sent me 6 red roses at work today . I felt far too old to be getting such flowers. No-one else in my team got any!! (but they're mostly blokes)

We have a new cat! DD2 got to choose one from the SPCA. She has called her Lolly So now we have 2 cats and a dog. Better stop now or there'll more animals than humans...

The healing is going pretty well thanks beckle. I'm still inclined to swell if I do much walking and have to take ibuprofen a couple of times a day but its loads better. Four weeks does seem an awfully long time when you're in pain / discomfort but I know when I look back on it I will hardly remember. Main issue is still having to sleep on my back all night.

Aww buzzy - how sweet (and embarrassing) of him! Glad you are healing but yes 4 weeks does seem a long time. But is it worth it when you look down at your flat tummy?

beckle - my DS1 also fell downstairs in a shoe shop!! (not last week though ages ago) - do shoe shops have dangerous staircases everywhere or were we just unlucky? Glad she is OK though - and your DD buzzy

clairey - don't be , lots of us boring married types are very . As my crazy Polish neithbour said to my other neighbour (single mother and having an affair with a younger Italian), "I love my husband and everything, but the thought of having sex with only him for the rest of my life makes me want to... [melodramatic stabbing herself action]"

clara - have my fingers crossed for you

Have made appt with GP for DS1 so we'll see. I go from thinking he is fine and just a bit shy to being really worried...

Skid. Where do I find my young Italian to have an affair with??

That was very sweet of him Buzzy, I'd have been really embarrassed too though

I am putting on weight really fast at the moment, is a bit weird for me as have previously never been able to...clothes are starting to be a problem so I might need to start exercising (I am so unfit and lazy though ). It's all going around the tummy and hips, what's best for that?

haven't you always wanted to put on weight though clairey? Doen't you feel all womanly and curvy? I guess running/aerobics is good for weight loss

well there are two new Italains who have moved in opposite us so as I've said before just come round for a cuppa (you could maybe try the same trick as you did with wc and strip down to your underwear accidently on purpose with curtains wide open )

I did when I first started putting it on but now I am losing my waist and really piling it on so just feel flabby rather than curvy. Possibly just need to tone up rather than actually lose weight...

Running scares me! I have done it twice but only managed about 2 mins before it killed me, and it's the whole having to be out in public thing!

I run and it is great once you get used to it - free, can do any time, and even better if you can find a nice running partner. Do you know anyone else who runs? If you go with someone then you can't wimp out at the last minute, plus you have on board entertainment (make sure they are chatty and interesting!)!

I keep thinking of running but feel I have enough on my plate at the moment. Once I am a little more sorted out might set myself a target like one of those 5km run for life's, which means I would have to train!

Pilates is good for the tummy but classes are ££££££. The only exercise I do at the moemnt is walking. I'm not putting on but not loosing. Mught need to go on a short diet after half term.

Buzzy - how exciting to get roses at work! I was grateful for the card that I got as had assumed we had got past the valentine's stage! It's just a bit of fun really. Clairey - have you tried internet dating? I know two people who met their now husbands online, and my brother has met several women (including his current partner) on t'internet. I think he probably goes on some obscure sight like Cricket Scorers Anonymous or something though. You might want to try something more mainstream. Just avoid Windowcleaners R Us.co.uk for now.

BT - have you decided on names yet (have been promted by seeing your post on the thread about Boden-wearing little Ella/Mia/Maya's)?

Sorry hot post before I was finished there!

Drskidmark - glad you have an appointment for your ds - I hope it puts your mind at rest.

Beckle - I know, the work thing is such a 'mare. I don't particularly want my dd's to go to wrap around childcare either, which is why I am really looking to do something that can fit into the school day. I honestly think working for yourself is the way to go - you should really pursue the photography.

Hope all falling-over dd's are ok now!

Nooooo to internet dating, I'm too much of a wimp. Have joined a couple of sites, had a look round and quietly backed out again Know lots of people it has worked for though so may have to summon up some courage!

Although I also kind of feel that in my current situation (not yet divorced, no job, on benefits)it would be fine if I just happened to meet someone and that would be acceptable but that I shouldn't properly look for someone yet. Or something.

what on earth do you mean clairey??? Because you don't have paid employment you shouldn't go looking for a partner??? You look after your DC all day everyday, and even if you didn't, how does unemployment (or lack of divorce papers) preclude you from having a relationship? Please don't think like that - you don;t really think that do you?

FWIW I also think internet dating is a great idea - even my mum is on mysinglefriend.com and she's 71!!!

clara - ay Drskiddmark and at Boden thread - sometimes MN is just ridiculous

BT - have you got a name shortlist? can you share?

Have a possible job (still waiting for funding. and only for a year) but it would be full-time - eeek don't like the idea of not seeing my DC all day - can anyone who works full-time reassure me that it will be fine?

I only have vague ideas of names at the moment.
Am thinking of starting a baby name thread.

DH is just being very crap about discussing names which doesn't help

DrSkidd, keep us posted how you get on with the GP. You're doing absolutely the right thing to trust your instincts and absolutely don't blame yourself. FWIW I've now taken DD1 to 2 separate experts for 2 different issues and in both cases everyone around me said "she's normal, it's just a phase, she'll grow out of it - she just needs more X,Y,Z" and in both cases my instincts were proved to be right when clinically tested. And IME 2 years down the track it's actually been more useful than not to have some labels to attach to certain aspects of her behaviour. It doesn't define who she is but it has helped me get some of the support she needs.

And congrats on the possible job!! I'm very happy with DD2 being in full-time childcare but it is such a personal thing. And I have a range of arrangements after school for DD1 so I don't feel guilty about her either (me 2 days, my mum 1 day, childminder 2 days).

Clairey, its not nearly so scary in practice as you might think ... for one thing you can message anonymously and with no obligations for a while before you meet and you can do a lot of screening through that. And then you can arrange to meet somewhere very public and only for a coffee the first time. I did this with 3 or 4 men before I met this new man and in all cases both sides fairly quickly (I think) reached a view on compatibility so there was no real awkwardness.

I have to say that, ironically, I've always felt that men might be scared off me by the fact I'm in a fairly successful career blah blah so there you go!

And I've always been attracted to the idea of running, but the whole 2 times in my life I've actually got sufficiently motivated and started off with brisk walking moving up to short bursts of jogging (and its surprising how quickly your fitness does improve) I've got pregnant!!!

Skid, my tummy does look lovely and flat. I still find the big long scar rather scary to look at naked but when I'm wearing my work clothes they look so much smoother. Haven't dared risk jeans on anything tight yet though that will really test the "look"

Ooh good luck with the job Skid - and let us know how it goes with the gp re your ds.

BT - you must start a name thread and link to it - I love baby name threads for some sad reason. One of the things I find very odd at the moment is how popular my name has suddenly become, it pops up everywhere! I hardly knew any growing up.

Buzzy - very of the flat tummy. And will cross running off my list if it means I will get pregnant

Clairey - I think you should go on mysinglefriend like Skid's mum, we can all add to it (I think that's how it works!). That was the website one of my friends met his now wife on.

I am spending the morning baking cakes for the wretched PTA valentine cake sale....Apparently some people really go for it and create masterpieces but I have just gone down the route of a cheap cake mix, Betty Crocker chocoalte fudge icing and mini pink and white marshmallows to make them sort of valentiney. I refuse to spend hours making something amazing when most children want something chocolatey/sweety anyway....

stranded - I spent last weekend making cakes for PTA Valentines cake sale and some of the cakes (other) people made were amazing. BUT (I told myself) they were clearly done without help of DC whereas ours were charming and rustic and tasted like crap

Thanks for reassurance buzzy re both referral and working full-time. I think it's just the transistion. I'm sure one (if!) I am working full-time it won;t be an issue it is just the IDEA of it that is scaring me slightly...

Also of your flat tummy

Clairey - please please please let us put you on mysinglefriend.com - it would be such fun - you can always immediately delete your profile if you want to [pretty please emotion]

Oh went to GP yesterday - he is being referred to community paed. Although wierdly he seems much better the last few days - maybe it is the hairdresser effect - you know when your hair has looked awful for weeks, you finally go to the hairdresser and when you sit down and see your self in the mirror, for the first time in God knows how long, your hair suddenly looks lovely