dec 2008- the one where they all turn 2...probably.

[VagolaJahooli]

Sorry bit boring I know but I didn't want to make any reference to spot as I don't want to jinx her and have her baby come early, then it would be my fault. Also didn't want the mad rush at the end of the thread. This way we've had plenty of time.

Ah, well I evidently don't remember the local area as well as I thought as I have never heard of Amesbury Gosh!

There is a massive Toys R Us on the outskirts of Oxford in a place called Botley, it's about a mile out of the centre. But not very glam. Yes, Enstone would be about 30 mins from Ox in the car. Coffee morning at mine on 20th brilliant in theory - only slight doubt is that we have a drinks in London on Sun 19th evening, and small chance we will stay over, but I need to check with DP and as he hasn't been drinking since end of Sept and won't be until Christmas, he may drive back.

Hmm, is Miso soup as good as Marmite for B vits? We are out of bread.

Wow. If I didn't have a willing mil there isn't a chance at all I'd go back to work - it flat out wouldn't be worth it for my salary, I start using my perks like I use to having said that I'm only part time which equates to 6 days a month and can be reduced to 4 days a month if I strategically bid by annual leave days a couple per month which I'm thinking of doing and going back.
the nursery near me is about £50 / day I think and I was going to send ds a morning a week but might not worry yet since he's getting good value out of the toddler groups. I have just found out that our neighbour also works at a local nursery so she is going to get the info for me as she says hers is the most reasonable around here I'm thinking I need to get qualified for child minding / nannying - no kidding.
I think for Avo the Au pair is the best solution too. Do what's best for the fam Avo.

Beans - I've had teeth out (when much younger) and while the sound of it all is horrible, at least you won't have to have that horrible sore throat associated with a general, or the sicky stuff etc. get picked up after though as i had a great deal of novacaine with a root canal when I lived in the US and when I came to, and got in my car, I automatically went and drove on the incorrect side of the road as I was still out of it a little and didn't realise and narrowly avoided a head on collision - stupid.

Hello Trace. hope you have a nice day and don't get stuck in snow. I'm feeling a bit better but still congested. I got to slightly lay in as dh got up for work and ds at the same time then got a call that his morning had cancelled however I still didn't sleep past 8am and on and off before that.

Vag - do you mean 20th to stop in for a cuppa at mine or to get up to Ox? I'm around anyway, and both are an option - or if lady is in London and heading back on the 20th you are both welcome to stop at mine? Lady I could collect you from the Station and leave Vagooli in charge I know dh is working that day as he was on leave but cancelled the Mon and Tues so we can use the days in Feb.
I can do the 23rd too as he is off

Oh and MrLady also Lady, if he is with you. failing that, I don't mine driving up to you as it's rare I get to see the Vagoolster

I'm not keen on Marmite but I have some Miso soup packets in the cupboard. maybe I'll make some. or perhaps I should just get off the cheerfulness for a bit nah.... not the season to be starting that shenanigans.

Hello MoM

Me again.
Lady I meant to say ages ago I had such a chuckle when you qualified in that choc orange ad about which one was your ex!! I did see the add the other night, and remembered and -ed a lot and dh asked why funny, and I told him but he didn't see the ad (in his own world as usual) just had a chuckle. Reminded me as I just saw the ad again just now

Sorry Rubes I was being a bit cheeky and trying to drag you up to Lady's. I've no idea how far you have to travel but you seem to pop over there at times. I could do the morning of the 21st instead? Or 20th in the afternoon.
Lady miso would be perfect would give you some potassium as well as some good digestive enzymes.

Rubes tis madness surely to reduce cheerfulness at this time. I made first mulled wine of the season, only had a horrendous Argentinian red, a couple of clementines and some ground cinnamon. It actually tasted ok, of course I added buckets of sugar. Unfortunately we only got a glass each because I forgot to take it off the heat when I served the first glasses so it simmered down to a syrup. Could have made toffee I suppose.

Ah Vag that's OK - lady's is just over an hour from me (no traffic) and I don't mind driving up (however the thought of taking the two kiddies to a cafe in Oxford makes my stomach turn, but lady's house I don't mind I just thought if lady was in London on the 19th, and was on the train (which sounds like not the case) she could get the line which goes past my house and I could collect her and littles from the station, but that would only work if I could leave you in charge at my house while I collected them due to car seat situation. However it sounds like Lady AND MrLady will be driving which would even be easier if Mrlady wanted to stop here as it's not too much detour to drive to Ox via me is it?

Madness - right you are Vagjah pure madness, and shall not be attempted

Mulled toffee There's probably something in that, Vag!

RIght, the 20th - I will check with DP but as I said I think it's very likely indeed DP would drive back from the drinks in London on the Sunday evening as he will prob be in work Mon 20th (but thanks so much for the offer Rubes, very kind). In which case, anyone and everyone who is around and willing is welcome at my slightly embarrassing as it's unfinished house, but there will be a real fire and Christmas cheer. Sorry RUbes, I know it's rather a drive. However, I DO need to double check with DP re: his plans.

As to Mr Chocolate Orange, I feel it would be stretching it slightly to call him an ex We had a few dates and it fizzled out as neither of us took it v seriously and then he went to France for a few weeks and I - well, I can't remember what I did but I forgot about him. I think I met DP actually. Anyway, he was at that wedding that Avo and I went to in Sweden so all rather funny. He is nice but loves himself so much and I am perfectly happy to leave him to his Chocolate Orange and on screen MIL and girlfriend DP still doesn't know he was a 'flame' so no blabbing!

The ex who lives in my old flat (to be fair, it was his as well, he bought me out) is the guy who is my best pal. It's all cool. But let's not get started on my exes and flings, it would unfortunately fill several volumes...

Duh - I'll wake up in a minute. Sorry Lady - I didn't see that part originally about driving back the Sun night, rather than the Mon. let me know. I don't mind driving to you, and your house is so lovely even if not entirely finished! The real fire talk, makes me want to ditch the wood burner and just get the fire basket and guards now that it's been swept. While I'm on the topic, can someone tell me, can you get spark guards that cover the entire opening? I'd be worried about ds throwing something in the fire
I'd love a wood burner but not sure I can justify the £350 they say it costs to install it - or perhaps I should get a different quote?

Lady is the train and bus a silly idea for me to attempt from mine to yours? Then I could get right into the Chrissy Spirit

I don't know about the quote for the wood burner but I am pretty sure you can get spark guards (mesh type ones) which cover the whole opening - I used to have a v old one and we need to get one.

Rubes, I totally get where you are coming from with the not driving, but yours to mine on public transport is tiring even for a hardened public transport warrior like me. You would have to take a train to Reading (however long that would take) and get an Oxford train (half an hour), then walk to the bus station (ten mins) and then the buses are about every hour and it TAKES an hour to get to my village on the bus. Admittedly the bus stops by the Post Office so nearly outside the house. It would be ok if you had an iPod and no kids in tow though. WIth the kids you'd struggle - or I certainly would!

I could always buy some non-alcoholic wine to mull.

Perish the thought Lady..... and see Vag's earlier post! Eek that journey to you on public transport is real wrist slashing stuff!
Having thought about it, I'll actually have to wait till the time comes and see if I even have the car, as if the weather is bad etc dh will need it for work so it might be irrelivent anyway.
Yes I keep getting scared about the open fire. I can see I can get one made to measure, but then the 2nd guard is needed anyway, and the whole thing will swamp our tiny room By the time I decided it will be Summer anyway!

AH, I see we killed the thread!

Heavens, it's FREEEEEEEEzing. Just nipping back to say happy happy birthday to Nancy xx

Thanks LadyT . she had a lovely lovely day. We bought her this kitchen. Which we'd set up for her when she got up. She was so excited and has spent the whole day cooking apparently. Was lovely to see. And DH and I came home for family tea. Our nanny had made fantastic birthday banner and friend came over. Was really lovely - just one of those great family times. Am very happy .

Although now I have to do one of my online practice test things. Assessment centre is tomorrow, but actually couldn't give two hoots as when it gets to this time of year I particularly remember how lucky we are to have her here - which makes everything else pale.

Beans that woman doesn't sound very nice. I really hate it when people have a go at their other half in public apart from anything else. And at rudeness.

Avo I think au pair sounds like perfect compromise. Especially as she's up at the top of the house (or have I mis-remembered that?). We had an au pair when we were kids, and apart from my elder brother not getting over disappointment that she was swedish and not at all hot was good - worked out well for my Mum I think. ZJ have totally borrowed your 10 minutes/days/weeks/months/years thing.

And yes nannies are stupidly expensive, barely makes it worth my while going to work - especially as have to pay her gross pay out of my net. Although DH gets rightly cross with me about thinking it's my pay that covers it - although at the moment he does earn more than I do. But I go to work because I want to and need to for mental health and options in the future rather than ££ today. And also because I believe in what I do. Or at least I used to find that easier. Ho hum.

DS has got all his snow clothes out ready for the morning. He's absolutely sure it's going to snow. Which is v endearing.

Ok sums calling.

Can I start with a a very boastful post please? This afternoon DD was helping me empty the dishwasher (she loves to take out the cutlery and hide it from me). She took out a tablespoon and teaspoon and waved the tablespoon at me saying 'big poon' and then the teaspoon 'mall poon'. [super proud mum emoticon] I would love to take some credit for this, but it is nothing to do with me whatsoever, sadly. But, what clever girl. And she can say her name now too, or 'weeze' at least, which is a darned good effort.

Anyway, enough about me. Happy birthday Nancy - the kitchen is so cute, I am definitely putting one on DD's letter to Santa now.

Trace did you get into town? The snow looks deep at your house - I'm glad I didn't set off for work as it looks worse with you than it is here (we've just got horrible layers of snow and ice and snow and ice, which are just awful)

I am completely in shock at the price of childcare in the south - I pay £100 a week, for 2.5 days in nursery. And after that and the cost of my commute (which is higher than average, to be fair) I'm down to pennies at the end of month. Anyway, Avo I think your solution sounds really good. Well done to your DH for that idea

I had another moment last night, about DD's willfullness. DH was trying to bath her and get her to bed and all I could hear was 'no no no NO NO NO', I actually got to the point of thinking what a horrible child she can be. I do try to pick my battles and do the giving her a 'false' choice thing (eg apple or banana) but it always get met with 'no no no', and I either give in or force it end up with a tantrum. I just feel like I can never get her to comply with any request however small it is. I know this is the opposite problem that Spot and Beans were concerned about, having sensitive littlies, but when in a group she can be quite timid (and like LadyT said about the soft play, I have to do everything with her). Anyone with an older DC who's been there before, please help me out, I do really hate having bad thoughts about my DD being a horrible child. Oh dear, I started this post so positive and have dragged it right down now

To cheer myself up again, I'll think of Christmas and throw my name into the hat for Secret Santa

zj if it makes you feel any better I have literally never heard DD say yes. Apparently she has, but not to me. She does say please and thank you (or ease and ank oo at any rate) but that's literally it. It's no all the way. I just ignore her in the main, or laugh her out of it. This too will pass I reckon, it honestly does get easier when you can actually have a proper conversation with them. Having said that DD is apparently now asleep on our kitchen floor

Gaaah have now completely confused myself. not least because DH has very patiently explained how to do %. I'll just have to busk it. Surely I can have people to do sums...(NB my innumeracy might go some way to explaining parlous state of govt finances). Not a core competency

avo - can i just add that i was practically raised by au pairs and i loved it. am an only child, mum went back to work at 18 months or so, and we had au pairs until i was in my early 20s (by then it was for a bit of housework and walking the dog - yup, we had an au pair for the dog). we had about 20 odd over the years. i understand completely about not wanting to give up your privacy, but the right person really can bring a lot to your lives, too. we found the best ones were like an older sister for me, and a fun younger sister for my mum. they were all german (because my mum was), so there was also that connection. friends of ours have used au pairs for the last 3 years or so and vet them thoroughly - have had danish, french, german etc - they think it gives their kids a perspective on different cultures too. sorry, that was a rather long polemic on au pairs. and i am so tired i could cry. why am i not going to bed???

urbane - we've bought that kitchen for madam! can't find all the utensils we want though -have been both to wembley and edmonton. ugh. did you get them all? glad you had such a wonderful day.

zoe - sorry to hear about dd. i have absolutely nothing to advise, but just wanted you to know i'm sorry you are having a tricky time.

night night.

Hah - we have that kitchen too (I think last year's model without the top bit). Its great and they both love it, but was all rather stressy at the time as I think it is the only ikea thing I've ever bought with multiple bits missing. Got them all rounded up, but not before an emergency 24 hour Tesco run to get DD something as we realised she wouldn't have a present to open otherwise...!

LadyT - my travels seem a bit jinxed at the moment. For the last trip, I spent most of the day at heathrow, before turning round to give up and go home. Less glamorously, I am supposed to be going to Lincolnshire tomorrow which sounds horribly snow bound. Hope you are feeling better, those bugs are miserable. Loved the image of your house full of balloons. Are you getting to read much lately? Have finally worked my way through the booker shortlist (cheap deal on bookpeople) - not a patch on last year's list I thought, but maybe that's me failing to concentrate properly.

ZJ - I found with my DD that there is no point at all in getting into a show down - if you're at that point I'd probably lose and it would end in tears/pathetic climbdown on my part. Much better to distract away from whatever the situation is and get round the problem whatever it is. With DS, its the control thing - so if you try and insist he does something, he won't, but if you ask him nicely (e.g. to give the toy to his sister) he'll often oblige .

Avo - sorry things are stressful. I think its hard to think sensibly about these sorts of things when you are not enjoying work - tricky bit is figuring out whether it really is the work/life balance bit that is the issue, or whether you'd feel differently if you were happy to to go to work in the office. I know sorting the two has been hard for me sometimes in the last year. The timescales thing is very right - in any case you probably won't want/need a nanny for ever. Seems a bit indulgent once both are in school and an au pair could def fill those gaps.

spot - I'm not a million miles from Crouch End etc. Love living round here.

Count me in for secret santa.

So tired but just wanted to say to ZJ that my DD1 sounds v simmilar and will be on to prattle about that tomorrow. But don't worry about any of it, is the thrust of it.

And to Urbane - I thought about your DD being sick when she was tiny only this morning. Precious baby.

I am whacked out and had to feed DD2 and she had shat everywhere and had to change clothes, sheet etc. But she is such a sweet little girl...these little grins are just too cute. Night night.

X-posted Invis, will reply in the morn...

Morning everyone, just logged on to see the traffic report and pleased to report that the main road is currently closed, another day working from home I hope

Invis my DH travelled through Lincolnshire yesterday and had no probs (he did wait until later in the day and his route was main roads only though). I hope your trip is more successful than your visit to Heathrow

Thanks all for sympathy on DD, I love the basket. When she was really grating on Sunday night the first thing I did was pop on hear - intending to post, but just reading everyone's chat was very soothing and I felt so much better after a catch up with you

Please can I nudge you avid readers into a book recommendation for my work secret santa? General interest, but not bland. Thanks!

Anyway, must pretend to get ready for work, so I can tell them I tried (have already made arrangements for tea and cake with my other stranded friend though )

Snow Day.

Happy Birthday Nancy for yesterday.

I am in for Secret Santa, who is organising, as I have a different email address now I am a married woman. Or is it being done by FB?