Fab Feb 2009: things that go bump and "mummy, mummy, MUMMY!!!" in the middle of the night

[dinkystinky]

New halloween inspired thread (in honour of this time of year) to talk about our little jekyll & hydes [hgrin]

Is anyone going to be taking their little ones trick or treating this year? We'll be at MIL's for Halloween and she's already told me she has both Danny and DS1 costumes -so it appears that decision has been made for us

dinky Don't think Durham has changed. We heard rumours that if they knew you'd applied to Oxbridge (ie if you'd applied before oxbridge deadline of 15th Oct) then they wouldn't touch you with a bargepole. Sooooo, my (smartarse) DS applied to Oxford and Cardiff (his insurance) prior to 15th October and then a few weeks later put in his application for Durham and two others. Crafty bugger, hope it pays off. Daft thing is, typical offers on choices 1 - 4 are AAA!

Ref XC90, that is what I have. Used to have a nice old(er) mercedes estate (7 seater) but when DH and I got married he insisted on buying me a newer Mercedes ML which I hated, it was awful, always breaking down so we chopped it in for an XC90 which we love. I had a dvd player fitted last year and it is fabulous for long journeys (although I do feel a bit guilty that it sits on my driveway for 10 months a year!)
Hope you enjoy yours

MrsY congrats on your accreditation, sounds like things are going well.

Am bloody knackered. Landed in UK at around 9am this morning and am shattered as no sleep on flight at all and didn't get too much the night before either. One of my close friends is in UK for a few days (she lives in Dubai) and is at DS1's school at the moment with a view to sending her DD there next year. She will be popping in on way home (is G's godmother) to see us all. G is crashed out in a little pile in her room so will have to wake her so she can see 'auntie Alex'. Hopefully then I'll get a relatively early night

Silly old sods at Durham. Its not even that great a university for law - the law students that end up as trainees here from Durham dont seem any better in calibre than from anywhere else so dont really understand why they think they're better than everywhere else. Hope DS1's gamble pays off though. Think most sought after places are all As for law - they were back in my day to study law - my insurance place was AAB!

Hope you get your early night tonight MoS.

Hope you sleep well tonight MOS

Dinky sounds like you had a lovely weekend! M's fave place in the world is the woods at the back of my in-laws. We (she and I) walk in the woods being little red riding hood, and either J or his dad hide behind trees prenending to be the wolf! She loves it - excited squeeling and giggling for hours!

Littlesez I second the arnica... hope it's getting better.

don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight as DH and I had (another!) huge fight. He really got the arse about our baggage, ie there is so much of it!

We had 6 bags between 4 of us (a few are quite small soft cases)and DH had calculated we were allowed 100k of baggage (he has a silver card which gives an extra 20k and he said that H had 20k) so, we weighed a few things last night and he confirmed I could take another bag (always have boxes of stuff to take back, cards and books that I sell and lots of christmas stuff) - bear in mind that the money from my books sales this year paid for our Disney/theme park tickets etc which were over 1k)
Anyway, he got it wrong. H only had 10k allowance and when we weighed it all tonight we were 30K OVERWEIGHT! So, shit hit the fan. I had to take loads of stuff out and leave behind, books that I had got for sales before christmas and loads of christmas paper etc (which I'd bought with his support) and so I was pissed off and he was pissed off and we ended up squabbling and some very nasty things said. I've been told I can 'stay' until June and then I'm leaving (ie he wont' support/sponser me in KSA anymore after then) To be honest, I think I'm a bit relieved although angry the way he has decided it. I've not been happy for a while and have been torn. Kids happy there and I have some good friends there and am happy with the kids and friends but to be honest, not with him. Am sick and tired of being treated the way I am. As some of you know, have been unhappy/up and down for a while but looks like now decision has been made. At least I can start making plans now. Have been feeling like a puppet for the past year or so so in a way, this is probably the best way. I have around 6 to 7 months to sort things out and get ready to return to the UK.

Well, thats my day, how is everyone else?

Oh Mos - that is so shit! I know that things are up and down alot with your DH but really thought he was trying to grow up nowadays and stop throwing stupid tantrums. He's the one that will lose out on a family and being with his kids, not you. He just doesnt appreciate what he has got with you and his family. It sounds to me like he just lost it and said some stuff which he really didnt mean - I hope he realises what an idiot he is being (again!) and tries to undo the damage he's done very soon. Cant believe all this came out of excess baggage after a holiday though

Sad dinky news - DS1 is being bullied (being pushed by older kids at lunchtime playtimes) at school. I feel so desperately sad about it as he is such a lovely, playful, open, gentle and sensitive child - have spoken with his teacher to ensure they stamp down on it and that the lunchtime play sessions are closely supervised (and DS1 has extra attention put on him) and hoping it wont put a dampener on his enjoying school. Has had me in tears for the past couple of days. Still school is supposed to have a zero tolerance approach to bullying so they better bloody well sort it out or will be enrolling DS1 in kiddie kickboxing classes to take on the fricking bullies.

MrsY - I love the idea of you and M being little red riding hood. That is so cute! DS1 and Danny like playing dinosaurs or bears - basically involves hiding then jumping out and roaring at me or DH. Hours of fun. Its so adorable. I was in the shower this morning and could hear them playing it with DH in our bedroom with peals of laughter going on - made me smile.

dinky That is awful about J . Hope the school sort it quickly.
Jaco keeps telling me that a boy at school is hitting him in the face and he then shows me a closed fists and mimics punching.
I have just put a note in his bag for the teacher.

mos What a complete, utter shit-head! I am so angry on your behalf reading that!
I don't know what to say.

Not much going on here. Work still going well, though no news on the interviews yet, ut I have heard that they are interviewing loads of people [worried emoticon]

Hurrah broadband finally up and running in the flat! School seem to be taking the whole pushing thing seriously so fingers crossed DS1 will be ok - he seemed a little happier today at least.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you for your interview SM.

dinky so very sad to read about DS1. I do hope it gets sorted immediately and doesn't affect his enjoyment of school. Hugs to you and thanks for your kind words about fuckwit
SM finges crossed about your interview (and you concuring that he is indeed a shit-head)

Had the flight from hell on Wednesday which didn't help his mood. Just as we were taxiing to take off H decided to projectile vomit (x 3) all over me. He had just scoffed two bottles of milk and was just a bit of a piggy and it all ended up over me to the horror of myself and everyone sitting near me. It was at least 45 mins before the seat belt sign came off so it was not a pleasant experience and by the time I made it to the toilets the warm milk had turned to cottage cheese which was covering me from head to toe.

I tried very hard yesterday to be nice to DH and not annoy him in any way but he still had to start with his sniping. I don't get him. He can say really nasty and spiteful things then a few hours later call me 'babe'. He seems to have forgotten our discussion that I'm leaving in June but I'm on wind down now. Spend about 5 hours yesterday sorting out all my stock (books and cards) and want to get all sorted. Am making it more like a 'proper' business and doing accounts etc and am planning on 'selling it on' when I leave. Had a nice suprise yesterday when I went to the compound supermarket to find my takings for October were just over 400 GBP. That is my best month so far and that is on top of all my private sales that I do from home.

There is a part time (job share) job going on the compound which to date has been done by an english guy who was employed by the local company and they've now decided to get rid of him and employ two wives. It is organisation/admin/management of a lot of the maintenance/admin people emmployed on compound (separate to DHs business) and I reckon I could do it standing on my head. Am tempted to apply even though I could only do it for 6 months as I think it would look good on my cv having had such a huge gap for 5 years apart from the odd course and my little signing business. Will have a think about applying

hope everyone is doing ok

Hey mos your dh really confuses me.
I'd go for the job too even though I could only do it for a short period.
Goodluck.

Something happened at work the other day and now no one seems to be talking to me
It was nothing serious, but none of the staff agree with the positive reinforcement/handlin plan that's been put in place for a kid in my class and i seem to be receiving the brunt of the tensions iyswim.
All I said was that I felt we all neeeded to do the same thing with him, and his teacher has stated she wishes xyz is done with him, and if we are all doing different things, then the only person who is going to suffer is the boy and regardless of our personal feelings I felt we should all do as instructed by his teacher.
Then something happened whilst I was on a break (i.e. not even on school grounds) and when I finished my break, I went into my classroom to put my things away and the other TA was in there with a member of staff fromm another room (lit's call the other staff member A) and as I went in, the woman I work with (S) turned round and she was really crying. I said "omg S, what's wrong?" and A then held her hand up in my face and really yelled "No Nicola, just get out. Get out right now, I need to talk to S and this is none of your business"
S told her it was ok and that I was quite upset that morning for the same reasons anyway and that I could stay and A just kept shouting, so because I didn't want S to get anymore distresed than she was already, I turned and walked away.
This was thursday afternoon and no one (bar the staff in my room) have spoken to me since.
My teacher has heard what happened (she asked if I'd had a run in with A and I said yes and briefly told her what happened), she said she will sort it and have a word with the department head. I told her not to make a big thing of it, I was quite happy to be civil and keep out of office politics and in future keep my mouth shut and steer clear.
It really upsets me when I'm not getting on with people.
A hasn't even apologised or looked at me since for that matter.
Not sure what to do/think about it.
The thing that really angered/upset me is that she wouldn't have spoken like that if a permenant member of staff walked in and what, because I'm agency staff I deserve to be spoken to like I'm below everyone else? No way!

SM - sorry you're having issues at work - sounds very odd and it is not nice to bear the brunt of a confrontation - especially if you haven't done anything wrong. I'm sure it will sort it self out - but their attitude seems really out of order.

Dinky - so sorry to hear that DS1 is being bullied - how awful. Never think that it can happend when they are so young. Hope the school sort it out pronto.

MOS - I can understand how you feel about your DH. I get a similar treatment sometimes from mine - spitefullness but usually followed by him sulking in silence for a few days before pretending nothing has happened - bloody men! Hope you get some resolution as it is sop stressfull to be in a relationship where you never know what is going to happen next.

Rubbish week here too. Lilian burnt her hand at nursery. Someone there gave her a bowl of scorching hot soup and she put her hand in it to reach a spoon that had fallen in. The burn is serious and has taken the skin off two fingers. They didn't realise how bad it was at first but in the end called DH at home to take her to A&E. I was away working in Devon (about 4 hours away) so couldn't get back any quicker to be with her.
I had to take her back to the hospital yesterday for the dressing to be changed - she was in agony as they had to cut away the dead skin and check that the skin underneath was still alive. Truly the most horrible experience for both of us. Luckily the burn is no deeper than one layer of skin so she won't need surgery but it is going to take weeks to heal. I have to take her back again next Tues for another dressing change - poor love.

Don't really know what to do about the nursery - they have taken full responsibility and are obviously horrified that it happened and have promised to look at all their H&S procedures to ensure that it doesn't happen again. I think Ofsted have to get involved and it will go on their next report......and a social worker is going to visit the nursery apparently.

Things can only get better....

oops sorry about typos!

Oh my god Calico - poor Lilian! That is appalling - I would be absolutely FURIOUS at the nursery and insisting they have a proper and full review, which is full and open, and that all parents get the result of it. And it should bloody well go on their next Ofsted report - as carers for small children, they should bloody well know better than to give small children hot anything - let alone leave them unsupervised for anytime with it. And they should have called your DH immediately to take her to A&E - she's a small child, she cant tell them how much pain she is in immediately, so with non vocal children they should be assuming the worst. Am glad that L wont need surgery but she's in so much pain because of their incompetence and I am so angry on your behalf - am sending you and her huge hugs. Hopefully next Tuesday's dressing change will be better now they know the skin below is still alive.

MoS - definitely go for the job. you could do it standing on your head I think and would be good on your CV.

SM - sorry that workplace politics are going on. Just disengage and be your usual friendly self and am pretty sure the silent treatment will end soon enough. Is often an issue where there are lots of women working together that some women revert to playground cattiness - its their own insecurities speaking more often than not, so rise above it all - or have a quiet word with the woman in question.

DS1 seems to have had a better time at school in the latter part of the week so fingers crossed the extra supervision at lunchtime has put an end to the pushing for now. Am pretty much resolved that I will be putting him down for karate lessons when he's 5 and a half so that he can start to learn self defence and more importantly a sense of self reliance and self importance.

just popping in briefly as out the door in 5 mins to 'fat club'
just wanted to say calico fucking hell! I'd be bloody livid and would want blood. FFS, a bloody nursery should know better. Poor little love, I hope she recovers soon poor little thing.
For what its worth, I'd be wanting blood from the nursery. So for you

calico..... How horrendous for poor Lilian

I'm with dinky and mos.... I'd want serious repercussions for the nursery, ffs they should bloody know better than to give small children anything other than lukewarm food, what sort of an imbecile gives a baby hot soup!!!

I hope you're all ok, i can't imagine how awful it must have been at the hospital {{{hugs}}}

calico That is shocking!!!!! Hope L is doing ok.

Hi guys - Lilian is doing ok. Doesn't seem to be bothered by her bandaged hand too much but has to have the dressing changed again tomorrow. She and DS are supposed to be back in nursery again tomorrow too - but Lilian won't be as we have the hosp visit anyway. Still undecided about what to do about it all. Can't change nursery at the moment as I know they all have ridiculous waiting lists so that could take time - and all DS's friends go there, so reluctant to make a change as he lacks confidence anyway and has really bonded with a couple of other 3 year olds there.
MIL wants me to take them both out of nursery and look after them myself....she didn't understand why I needed to work whilst they were still small as she assumes that DH pays me 'housekeeping' . So I am in her bad books now, and in a bit of a muddle with it all to be honest.

Will let you know how it goes tomorrow....

calico bollocks to what your MIL thinks. As a rule (with a few exceptions) we are supposed to ignore/dislike them/wish they'd mind their own bloody business (delete as appropriate)
This is YOUR and your DHs decision, no one elses. My first reaction was no way on earth would a child of mine go back to that incompetent fuckwit nursery. However, you have your DS to think about in all this. They have been bloody stupid and irresponsible but the chances of anything like that ever happening again are very very slim.
I can totally understand why you need to work.

I would put DS in tomorrow but make it clear you have concerns and reservations about DD returning and then see how she is in a few days. When is she/they next due back there?

Good luck tomorrow, hope everything goes ok.

Same old shite here, DH still an arse. Was reading a few relationship threads yesterday and there was one by a lady who is thinking of leaving her DH and I could have written every one of her posts
Am keeping my head down, keeping out of his way and sorting my act out.
Am frantically completing my CPD, aim to finish my counselling course assignment before christmas and am applying for that job. Think it will be good to have a 'proper' job on my CV for when I go home

dinky how is DS1 doing at school?

SM how are the coven that you work with?

Yikes, things have happened here!

SM I had so much of that when working as agency staff in schools and nurseries. I think the long hours and sometimes very stressful times mean that people really loose there rags very quickly. That being said, you need to escalate it, because it seems obvious that you are nor the only one who had a problem...
Hope it gets sorted quickly and that you hear about the interview soon.

So sorry to hear about DS1 being bullied dinky, how upsetting for you. Good to hear the school have a proper policy regarding it, and fc it gets sorted soon.

MOS - well, I don't really know what to say. Your DH certanly seems to be acting strangely - do you think he's not happy with being in KSA himself? Or is he just being a fuckwit for the sack of it?! If you come back in the summer, where does that leave you and him? Hope you get things organised and well done on the money making. Will keep fc for the job.

Calico, poor you and poor L. I can't get over them giving somehthing that hot to her. What if she'd eaten it, or it had spilt all over her? Crumbs - I agree that they need to have a very serious look at the H&S policies, and talk very seriously to the staff in the room at the time. I really hope it was just a one off, and you don't need to disturb either of them by finding a new setting. And asfor your MIL, I think we need a variation of our mantra - "it's not a phase, but I don't give a toss!"

We had a lovely weekend for my mum's 65th, including meeting my sisters boyfriend of one week; they've said they love each other and are making plans for Christmas - and marriage and babies!!! I dispair!

Moo has an awful cough, and has horrid horrid diarrhoea - not sure of it's swallowing mucus from her cough, teething or something else, but she's so sore and in agony when I change her. I', doing it more often to reduce the rash, but that puts her through the trauma of achange more often. Not nice. Plus I've pulled a muscles in my back and have the most painful period cramps. So, we're feeling a bit sorry for ourselves here. :(

Hi all.
calico Glad L is doing well. If it were me, I'd be tempted to do the same as mos, continue to send ds there, but not send dd until something reasonable has been done/investigated.

With regards to my work, didn't seem quite as bad, I made a point of saying hello to the ones who have been avoiding me to see what they'd do, they all said hello back and seems ok, but I am still being avoided at fag break and playground.
Also, just had a call fromt he agency saying they had a call from someone in the office asking them to have a word with me about commenting on bad days through my facebook. Bit pathetic really, but I have now deleted everyone from work and double checked my security settings.
I have called in sick tomorrow as need a day to think about whether I want to continue there. I am happy to work, but not with all the hassles that leave me in tears, is really not worth it seeing as we can survive (just) on dp's wages and I am sacrificing time with my own children, but then on the other hand, I should just raise above it and remember the training they will give me. It is a great opportunity that I don't want to turn down, but it's all turning quite bitchy so not sure if I can take it all tbh.

Hi all

MOS and MrsY - I like your thoughts about dealing with MIL! I will do just that.

Lilian had her dressing changed today - burn healing well but they had to clean it and she got so hysterical that they had to stop - let her calm down for 15 mins then have another go. She was howling and kicking but we got through it. We have to go back for the same again on Friday . Took DS into nursery this morning as usual - he and Lilian do just 2 days a week - and all the staff were very concerned about Lilian's hand. I spoke to the manager and asked her for a written report on the incident together their action plan to ensure another accident like this cannot happen. She said she would do this but that the member of staff involved had been signed off by the doctor on sick leave for 3 weeks so they can't interview her until she is back at work. I don't know why she has been signed off but the way the manager rolled her eyes when she told me and made me think that she wasn't actually sick....maybe she is suffering from stress ....

I have to make a decision about Lilians childcare by the end of the week as I have some work commitments that I am now behind with, so I need to sort something out for next week if I decide not to take Lilian back to that nursery yet.

MrsY - sorry to hear that you and M are both under the weather and hope you recover soon.

SM - sounds llike whatever was the issue the other day at work has blown over - but who needs that sort of behaviour! See how it goes - it is still early days there.

Did ginormo post and the computer ate it. Edited highlights are

• Calico, ignore your silly MIL. If she wants to be helpful, she could come and look after L when you need to work (if you can stomach it that is). Making comments like that is not helpful. And I agre that if DS is happy at the nursery, it sounds like the right thing to let him stay there with his friends. Sorry the dressing change today was so stressful - she probably remembers from last time round and is kicking out because of that - hopefully Friday will be better.

MrsY - snap. Have pulled back muscle and Danny has dodgy tummy too. Ugh. Hope you've got some killer painkillers and anti-inflammatories on the go too.

SM - having the job you've got now on your CV is a good thing, regardless of what you decide. Workplace bitchiness exists in plenty of places - I guess its a case of thinking if its making you really not enjoy work, or if you can rise above and still enjoy doing your job despite it. As Calico says, its early days.

MoS - sorry DH being an arse still. Good luck with the job application. Heard any more about DS1's uni applications?

Yoohoo - anyone out there?

In other news, Danny has confirmed his oddness by eschewing chocolate in favour of edamame beans straight from the pod His favourite foodstuffs currently consist of set natural yoghurt, satsumas, grapes, apples, pear and broccoli with the odd tuna steak thrown in - he is NOT a fan of bread/carbs other than pasta or gnocchi. DS1 was (and still is) a total carbs and chocolate fan - its odd how 2 little boys who look so bloody alike can be so different in their tastes.

V excited - have booked tickets to go see Bagpuss at the theatre in the new year. Remember loving Bagpuss as a kid - hope Danny and DS1 love it too.

Bagpuss oh bagpuss you saggy old catpuss! dinky am so Would love to go and see that. I've bought it on dvd but kids don't seem that keen on it

calico so sorry to read dressing change was so traumatic, really hope it heals up quickly. Good luck in your difficult decision

SM difficult call about work. If you can try to rise above it, at least for a few weeks and see how it goes that would be good. Don't throw it in in anger/haste. A bit pathetic of them ref FB

dinky DS had a third offer (his insurance) which is a fabulous ABB however A has to be in French so still a little bit of pressure on.
I'm getting a bit stressed about Oxford. Made/keep making! the mistake of checking on the student room website and yesterday pm I noticed that interview letters were starting to go out from Oxford (interviews 8th December) so spent a few hours pressing the refresh button to see if I'd heard from DS. This is going to be a very stressful week/month/year I think

MrsY glad you had a lovely time with your mum. Your sister sounds a bit, well, young? Sounds like a teenager to me

H has a black eye. Somehow managed to fall (not sure how) and I heard a bang and a scream and he has a massive bump next to his eye which turned black straight away. Poor little man
Right, off to bath H and DD and hopefully get a few hours peace

Ouch - poor H! Danny's managed to give himself blackeyes in the past - arnica cream seems to work miracles in clearing the bruising up quickly if you can get your hands on it over there MoS. Great news about DS1 getting his insurance choice. Will keep fingers crossed that he gets his oxford letter soon (for your sanity if nothing else!)

hey dinky, lots of battered toddlers around by the sounds of it. Very much doubt I'll be able to get arnica over here but as I've heard so many good things about it I might ask DS1 to buy some and bring it out when he and DD1 come out for Christmas.
Apparently tomorrow is the day ref Oxford interview emails. Will have to try to distract myself somehow