Fab Feb 2009: things that go bump and "mummy, mummy, MUMMY!!!" in the middle of the night

[dinkystinky]

New halloween inspired thread (in honour of this time of year) to talk about our little jekyll & hydes [hgrin]

Is anyone going to be taking their little ones trick or treating this year? We'll be at MIL's for Halloween and she's already told me she has both Danny and DS1 costumes -so it appears that decision has been made for us

MrsY that is good news about your job. Am I right in thinking its M & S? Seem to recall they are very good employers to work for. Not a house swop (never ever doing that again!) Its our house we own in Orlando. I bought it 14 years ago and for a long time did very well renting it out but its not been as good over recent years as less people travelling to the states for various reasons so its starting to get a bit expensive but can't really sell at the moment as would make a huge loss. Doesn't help having to keep replacing everything that the thieving bastards who stay here pinch

calico what line of work is it you are in?

dinky poor little man, hope he gets better soon.

mslucy DS says there is an entrance exam for some subjects (ie ELAT for english and something for maths) but no entrance exam for law which is what he wants to read, just A levels and (hopefully!) an interview. Apparently interviews are first week of December so fingers crossed DS will get one. Apparently last year 53% were interviewed for law and I think if DS is lucky enough to get an interview he will do well. At least he has one offer under his belt which is a relief and although not his first choice it is a Russell Group Uni.

Ref xmas, I've managed to do a lot of my shopping already. Have got DC3 and 4 some toys from the Disney store and DC1 and 2 some designer clothes (which are MUCH cheaper out here thank god).

dinky Hope you have a very happy birthday xxxxxxxxxx

Happy Saturday!

Yes, MOS, 'tis M&S. They have been top so far, and all the managers seem to be hands on, unlike most places I've been before. They are supposed to be great for L&D, and career progression, so I'm hoping the good impression I seem to have made lasts a while!

My Oxford interview was Dec 19th, the day before end of term and the day of the big school carol concert in which I was singing solo, and I was more nervous about that than the interview!

Hope you have a lovely birthday dinky, and Danny gets better soon. It's a pain that they loose their appetite's when they're poorly isn't it, because they pick up so much quicker when they eat...

SM, will keep fingers crossed for your interview.

MsLucy yes indeed, the hampers are ace. I really want the picnic basket one. We've got half price Oakham chicken atm, so if you fancy roast chicken for sunday lunch, it'll be a bargain!

Didn't manage to get out to fireworks display last night, but we did see some from the garden. Going to try again this evening, so hope weather stays good. Anyone else venturing out?

Morning MrsY I have always heard good things about M&S too.
We didn't go for fireworks, I wanted to but money being tight again this month, we decided against it. Next year will be the one for us.

I'm just heading into town to get some bits for work. Need a bum-bag filled with little twiddler toys and stretchy bits for the more autistic children, as an incentive to get them off the floor when they throw themselves down in reception and refuse to get up and to keep them occupied in assembly.

I am attending a makaton course through the school on monday, although I've picked up an awful lot so far, will be good to get some official training on it for better communication.

Yesterday at school, I was left as the strongest staff member (aside from the teacher obviously) in the class and at the lunch table.
Although lunch didn't go fantastically well, I did the best I could on that day and have voiced my concerns to my teacher about what I feel we need at lunch time. She will pass these onto the head of department and hopefully next week will go better.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.
I'm meeting some friends and their dc's for lunch so that'll be nice. Was meant to go swimming but \i left my costume at school (numpty that I am) on well

hello all
dinky happy birthday, hope you have a lovely day

SM good luck with the Makaton course, hope you enjoy it. I'm thinking I'll need to brush up mine for when I get back to KSA having missed 4 weeks of lessons!

Happy birthday dinky
Mrs Y - I work near Edgware Rd M&S which is AMAZING as it is near the head offices and always full of wonderful things. Will def check out the chicken.
Have had a weekend FULL of tantrums - reckon Stan's been having about 5 full on meltdowns a day, plus lots of minor hissy fits.
Everything makes him angry and I am getting angry as well, which I really don't like.
His big thing is refusing to wear shoes, which is fine when it's warm, but another matter in November.
He also wakes up at about 5:30 every day, furious.
I know it's just a phase - but not a very nice phase, esp when my hormones are all over the place.
His older brother (who has had his moments over the years) is a joy, but Stan is hard work.

happy birthday for yesterday dinky :D

mslucy I really feel for you. Jacob was exactly like Stan at that age, it is so hard.
It will pass though, just takes time.

Just woke up to find Jacob in our bed. I know that dp woke up too but pretended to still be asleep. Really don't see the point in him doing that when he'd have to get up anyway in order for jacob to stop screaming. Jacob will scream his head off if I put him back into bed but will accept it if dp does it. Annous me that he still leaves me to do it knowing how it will stress both me and j

Thanks for all th elovely birthday wishes ladies - both on here and on facebook. Had a lovely weekend - Imogen Heap gig at the Royal Albert Hall on Friday night, lie in on Saturday followed by Bacon Sandwiches (dont feel too guilty mentioning that MoS as you're in the US so can enjoy them too ), puppet show trip with boys, swimming with Danny and fireworks and wine at DS1's school friend's house in the evening - DS1 hated the fireworks, Danny loved them and wanted to play with the sparklers of course (I swear in his head he's 5 going on 15!) so had LOTS of tantrums from him - then yesterday was Coram fields in the morning and fireworks at the little playground round the corner from our flat (DS1 had a fit at the fireworks, Danny loved them but spent most of his time being a toddler terrorist and attacking other people with his glow sword and trying to get through the barricades to the fireworks - exhausting).

MsLucy - we get alot of tantrums from Danny too. And he's really violent on occasion - kicking, lashing out with hands and legs - when in a full on paddy. DS1 was such a placid child so is a shock to the system - but I know it is just a phase and will, eventually, pass. I like to think of Danny as my little Scrappy Doo - it helps to put the tantrums and difficult times in perspective - he just has such a zest for life and gets massively frustrated when he cant do what he wants to do. Time out is good for dealing with DAnny's tantrums - as is me pretending to have a tantrum too which ends up with Danny staring at me thinking I'm insane Keep your chin up - I remember when we all started on the antenatal threads together you were having such a difficult time with DS1, and he's a joy now, so Stan will be too. Just be kind to yourself in the meantime and if you feel you're getting angry step away.

Danny's croup seems to be finally getting better now, thanks for asking. Hoping his appetite picks up soon too.

MrsY and Silverymoon - its great to hear you guys are so enjoying your new jobs - and that you're being so proactive SM too. Hope all continues to go well for you. I too am a huge M&S fan - will be ordering hampers for xmas presents for aunties and aged family friends this xmas.

Went to see our house on the way in to work this morning - the builders have stripped everything out inside - including half the ceilings and floors and the back walls. Felt really v odd seeing it like that and so glad we didnt take the guys - they would have totally freaked out. Thank god we've got the building works going on though - the builders pointed out that the joists in DS1's bedroom and the bathroom (over the kitchen) were unsafe and improperly put up so there was a danger of the floor collapsing in

SM - I think its time for a chat with your DP again. I bet he's just not thinking about how difficult it is for J and you if you put J back in bed - at least you guys should share the burden. I know your DP does shape up when you chat to him so please do talk.

Sounds like things are moving quickly at the house, Dinky, are they on schedule? Glad you had a good birthday. How's work for you atm?

Moo loved the fireworks, and gets very cross if she can hear them but not see them (if in car or something!).

mslucy, M can be like that, especially when she's tired, or if we change her nappy when she's a bit sore. She kicks something crazy, and has twice given me a nosebleed by catching me really hard on the nose. if she does it now, she gets 1 warning and then it's time out (which can be hard if it's in middle of change!). Same with hitting etc, 1 warning. Biting, which she has done twice, gets instant time out, no warning. Another fave of hers is screaming, which we ignore, which works. Seems to be working so far!

SM I second Dinky's suggestion to have a word with your DP. If he has to get up anyway, it seems a bit of a waste of time and energy to pretend to be asleep. Especially if J gets upset, it will then take him longer to get J to sleep...

I guess so MrsY - still havent seen a schedule of works from them but our project manager has apparently. Sadly our house is definitely the house that Bodge built so suspect the work is going to end up alot more costly than we thought it would be - but hey ho. Work is stupidly busy at present - its the usual pre-xmas craziness I think. Ho hum. M sounds rather like Danny with the kicking - no nosebleeds yet but he has given me several fat lips - and its the same here - warning and then time out.

If we go for no 3 we're definitely putting in an order for a mellow April baby like DS1!

well it's been quite a long time since i came on here...apologies for the absence. i've been a bit low about a few things and exhausted by some of the stuff that's gone on at work over the last year. i've basically had to be the main point person for making 80 people redundant and i don't think i'd realised quite what a toll it would take. i took last week off and am 'working from home' a bit this week so here's hoping i get some enthusiasm for work again some time soon!

i've also had some issues with dp recently. so instead of coming on here and distracting myself or getting some advice i hid!

have had a quick skim through last couple of pages:

SM what's happened with your dp's disciplinary?

MrsY I'm so pleased to hear the results were so much better this time. you must be so relieved.

dinky hope the croup is getting better. ds had it and it was scary as well as horrible for him.

i've so enjoyed being able to pick up dd from school this past week or so. even if she turns into a bit of a pita quite quickly!

we've got 1940s day on thurs at her school so am madly trying to cobble together a gas mask box and something suitable for her to wear.

KBN - lovely to see you on and sorry you've been feeling blue and been having a really crappy old time of things generally. Really hope things are getting better for you and continue to do so. Hows the lovely I doing? Danny is getting better all the time - as evidenced by his naughtiness levels going up 1940's always makes me think of v neat and tidy school uniforms, socks pulled up to knees, hair in pigtails etc. Good luck with the gas mask!

MsLucy - am in your neck of the woods tonight at a gig at the Forum. Will be thinking of you...

Evening all
KBN Sorry you've been feeling low and been left with the shit job of laying people off must have been really tough, do not envy you at all.

Re dp's disciplinary, the meeting was today. He got a written warning which will remain on his file for 12 months plus a 3 day suspension without pay. The joke of it is that the suspension has to be arranged so he doesn't know when it will be. He is to attend work as normal tomorrow.
Am well relieved that he still has a job and that it is all over, but still crap that he got5 this action taken on him.

Tough day at work today. The teacher is into positive reinforcement, which is fine, I like the concept and try to do it as much as possible at home, but I can't help thinking it's not for all children and some need a firmer hand iyswim.
She asked my opinion, so I told her what I thought, hopefully it came out as intended, that I wasn't doubting her knowledge or experience, but that I had personal concerns.
She understands my worries and knows it is difficult to ignore all behaviours but thinks I will be suprised with the outcome.
One boy today, kicked a member of staff maybe 5/6 times until she cried, and we were all instructed (including her) to ignore the behaviour, not respond or acknowledge it at all, so so so so hard to do when you know someone is being hurt

SM - am glad that all the disciplinary crap is over and done with and must be a relief for you and DP that its done. It is totally rubbish that he got the disciplinary action taken that he did - especially as he has a really good record - but I'm guessing this is being done to send a message to the workforce in general. Sorry work has been tough for you - I think working in special schools is really, really hard and really respect the people who work in them for their resilience and dedication to their work. Hope the positive reinforcement shows good results soon - once you see it working it is so much easier to keep it up I guess.

Sm, I totally understand your reservations... positive reinforcemrnt isn't suitable for every child. It works a bit with ds1 but not at all with dd... she just behaves worse and worse. I'm a firm believer in telling children if they've done something that hurts or upsets another person. I'm glad the job is going well other than that though.

KBN... i'm, sorry you've had a shit time recently. How horrendous having to let all those people go, you must be so stressed

A is a tantruming diva too.... he's broken my nose twice now flinging himself around and he's split my lip a couple of times too. Now when he starts i lay him on the floor and stand well clear if at all possible! He's turning into a little boy in front of my eyes though... still no speech but he's copying us a lot more now and definitely babbling with a greater variety of sounds so if he could just put the two skills together and copy sounds we make he'd be chatting away! He's still shoe obsessed and is getting really paticular about his clothes too, as well as developing a bit of a hand washing obsession. He's getting much better socially though... he's finally letting my mother cuddle him and is comfotable in group situations like toddler group and friends houses now which is lovely.

Thanks dinky The positive reinforcement is not working. His behaviour is escalating(sp) and yesterday and today he has been kicking staff in the back, and we are not aloud to tell him off. Needless to say it is causing a few issues between staff in my room and other rooms. The staff he is kicking from other rooms (either in the corridors or out at playtime) are really pissed off that he is allowed to behave like this without punishment, so things are a bit tense.
I voiced that I was more than happy to go along with the positive stuff and do believe there is alot in it when used correctly to children that will respond to it, but unless all staff are going to do it (this boy attends after school club where the staff shout at him and are very firm) or we are wasting our time.
Anyhoo, the good news is that the teacher has managed to get the powers that be to agree to move him to aqn exclusive autistic class, so he will get the structure and routine he needs to get through the day.

KBN A's broken your nose? This is a phase though, it does get easier.

KBN hope your ok, we're all here if you need to unload/rant/chat

SR hmm the postive re-inforcement sounds tough, I am with you its great for some situation and i always ignore "naughty" but not violent behaviour needs addressing surely.

hey all im so bored tonight hubby at work and just on MN browsing ...

Hey littlesez Dp's just watching the film Crash. He refuses to believe that we have seen it before.

Hello - anyone out there?

Hope work has improved over the week Silverymoon - how is the learning to drive going?

Littlesez - how's the metatarsal healing?

Summerrain - all my former kickbox training (from early twenties - along time prekids) certainly has helped when dealing with a flailing Danny as I've managed to block a fair few kicks or hits/headbutts that would otherwise have caused abit of damage with instinctive blocks I learned when kickboxing. Can imagine the horrified reaction if I recommended a course in self defence, particularly blocks, to a mother to be to prepare herself for parenthood though

Hey dinky. Not started learning to drive yet, just waiting now to get up to date on mortgage, we're 1 month behind so once we catch up I'll see if we have a spare 20 quid a week. I'm also trying to convince dp to downsize his 7 seater that we don't actually need so he spends less on fuel to free up some cash......
Work's been ok, just frustrating. Danny is moving to an asd base class and integration will start on tuesday. I'll prob go with him for a week to help him settle in and then return to my class.
Glad it's friday. What's everyone up to this weekend?

wow its quiet!

thanks dinky, foot is still bruised from ankle to toe but been fine, cast comes off monday woooooohoooooooo. been taking lots of vitimins plus pouring some chinese oil down onto the area (don't ask!) Im desperate.

Hey SM been working today and going shopping tomorrow.

Hello everyone, hope your all having nice weekends xxx

hello all, just checking in. Still in USA, frantically packing and trying to squeeze everything into cases ready for overnight flight to UK tonight. Then 2 days in the UK before returning to KSA. Am trying to organise suitcases so that 3 of the 4 are ready to go straight to KSA and only one to be opened and re-packed in UK but don't think its working too well as DH keeps getting in my way

dinky glad house is going ok but sorry to hear about bodge the builder who built it. Hope it all gets sorted out. Having lived through a 2 storey extension and loft conversion, I can say it is worth it in the end. How is D now by the way? Hope he is much better. G & H have got bad coughs again which are driving us mad.

KBN sorry you've been having such a crap time at work and home. Hope it all improves soon.

SM glad DPs work stuff has been sorted but sorry he has had the three day suspension. I know things are hard for you guys already without losing pay. At least it is over with now and hopefully you can relax. Like dinky says, I have so much respect for you working with those kids, I certainly couldn't do it. I couldn't stand by and see kids kicking people and getting away with it no matter what their problems are, they need to learn right from wrong.

littlesez glad you are on the mend.

SR ouch ref your nose hope your little man calms down a little for you.

H is becoming a bit of a handful now and has wonderful tantrums. DD had been behaving very badly the last week or so but we have now realised it is because she has been away from school (and all her little friends) for over 3 weeks now and it will be 4 weeks by the time we get back. She has been having very long days and late nights the last few weeks and her routine is out the window. Slightly worried that she is hardly eating (unlike DH who is taking advantage of the 'eat all you can' buffets!) She is hardly eating anything and I'm sure she has lost weight and she was already a scrawny little thing. Am hoping a few days in the UK will settle her down (and will get her to eat 'normal' food) and thankfully we get back to KSA Wed night and then Thursday and Friday are our weekend and she will have a few days to unwind (and me to unpack!) before school/work on Saturday.

Am hoping things will be ok for DH at work on Saturday. Things had been very up in the air before we left and he was on the verge of throwing it in. We would have managed if he chucked it in now but it would have been very difficult financially and it makes so much more sense for him to stay until at least July when DC1 will have finished at his college (and hopefully be off to Uni!)

On that subject DS1 has had a second offer, this time from Exeter which is joint 3rd choice with his other offer. All quiet on Oxford and Durham (1st and 2nd choices) and also his back up choice.

Right, DH back from shops with H so had better get off my arse.

Evening all!

J is watching Cannonball Run - it's such shit!

KBN nice to see you again, yes, we're very pleased with the test results. Sorry to hear things have been tough recently, I certainly don't envy you role in the redundancies.

SM - hope things ease up a little when the boy moves to the new room, and that he gets the support he needs. Sorry to hear about the suspension and record, but it could have been worse, I guess.

SR - M reserves her violence for the middle of really bad nappy changes - and she always kicks me. Hasn't broken any bones so far though!

Good news about DS1s offer, MOS, hope that G picks up when she gets back into her routine. Hope the packing and flight and other end-of-holiday stuff isn't too hard...

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend - I was either working or shifting furniture in our bedroom, so I'm knackered! Speaking of work, I've been accredited (past probation) so job is more secure and hourly rate increases, so I'm a happy girl!

Off to bed now, will check in soon. xxx

MoS - good news on DS1 having 2 offers under his belt. Keeping my fingers crossed for Oxford and Durham - way back when I was applying for university places to study law, Durham was v snooty if you'd also applied to Oxbridge for law and turned down a high percentage of applicants on that basis - rather hope things have changed over the past decade and a half! Also hope G and H recover soon from their coughs - bet G will get back into the swing of things as soon as you get back to KSA and her eating will pick up there too.

Littlesez - glad its slowly getting better. Arnica is great for bruising - perhaps take some arnica supplements and carry on with your chinese oil (sounds intriguing).

MrsY - congrats on being accredited. Hope you're still loving it.

Went to my parents for the weekend - DS1 and Danny enjoyed watching dvds in the back of new car the whole way there (have traded in flash audi for 10 year old XC90 to free up cash for the build) - it was the most peaceful car trip we've had since having kids and had a lovely time there. We took them to Sherwood Forest for the first time ever and DS1 loved pretending to be robin hood on his scooter - Danny loved wandering around in the leaves and collecting random twigs/sticks. Was very very sweet.