We came, we saw, we frolicked. 
Now our PFB has arrived and we can begin the stressful befuddled guiltridden exhausting wonderful journey of parenthood!
(Or at the very least we can stop bothering the antenatal bunch until they join us!)
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The Final Fruition of the Frolicking Forays for the First Time Frolickers
739 replies
Spirael · 30/09/2010 16:18
OP posts:
YorkshireTeaDrinker ·
20/11/2010 22:59
Thanks for the breastfeeding advice Bunny. I'm a bit 
at your "few hours with the lactation consultant". I have had quite a few visits from the midwife, on account of having had a section and the fact that Eleanor lost over 10% of her birth weight, so she is being monitored until she's back up to her starting weight; but they are always in a bit of a hurry, so I get a couple of minutes to check our latch and then they are off. I'll try and push on fir another couple of weeks before expressing. I am managing to get chunks of sleep at the start and end of the night, and ususally have a nap at some point during the day, so we are managing, but I am longing for a full night's sleep!
Will is lovely - so cute and tiny! I've put a picture of Eleanor on my profile, taken on day one in hospital.
Hermya I may copy off you and get a dummy before long. E is a v sucky baby and I don't want her to use my nipples for comfort sucking. I'll see if we can hang on till 4 weeks before introducing one. I think once I have a target date to work towards, everything gets more bearable.
Right now my lovely little girl is sound asleep in my ams, so I'm going to try and put her in her basket and get some sleep myself before the first feed of the night. Only two weeks until we can load daddy up with EBM and get him to do the night feeds!!
bunnygirl80 ·
21/11/2010 00:17
yorkshire I know I'm super lucky to have managed to get so much support. The lactation consultant actually lives around the corner from me, so I can just ring her when Will wakes and she's with me in about 2 mins to help me feed. I actually think I might be in love with her 
Eleanor is so cute.
bunnygirl80 ·
21/11/2010 01:22
Only got halfway through my last post then my laptop died!!
Back on the subject of the lactation consultant - I have had no visits at all from midwives since I got out of hospital. The Early Childhood Nurse (like a health visitor) came out once, but she won't be back. So really it's left up to me to find support if I think I need it. Luckily I'm the kind of person who's not afraid to pick up the phone and ask, but I imagine there are others out there who struggle on alone 
We caved in yesterday and gave Will a dummy - I was fed up after several hours being used as a human dummy. I felt so guilty putting it in his mouth, and convinced myself he'd never go back on the boob, but he took 4 sucks, spat it out and fell asleep for the next 3 hours. I think part of the problem is the hot weather we're having - he gets too hot BFing in the day, so he's on and off and taking on lots of air, and then struggling with a windy tummy. Must have tired himself out though, as he slept like an angel last night - 4 hours between feeds instead of the usual 2
NovemberAli ·
23/11/2010 23:34
Aaah Lochie is so cute, glad you are feeling a bit better Worrisome
Matilda was the same with a dummy Bunny, just spat it right back out again and carried out crying!
Have recently been going to exercise class in the park with the buggy, really good to get a bit of exercise in the fresh air - focussing on strengthening tummy muscles as well which I really need to do
Eleanor is a beauty YTD! Have you tried getting a visit from a maternity support worker? They tend to be less busy than midwives and do a lot of breast feeding counselling. They'll try and time it to coincide with a feed so they can watch as well. My midwife was able to put me in touch with one and I found her quite helpful.
WhiteRoses ·
24/11/2010 13:52
Hi everyone,
Sorry that I've been missing for a few days but I wrote out a big long post the other day, lost it, and didn't have the energy to re-type it all!
About the dummy topic, my LO refused point blank to take one initially, but now that he does, it's an absolute godsend. Particularly when he's tired, because he does use me as a giant dummy too, and seems to have no idea when he should stop feeding... He's actually thrown up with my nipple in his mouth before, and when I lift him up, he starts complaining and wanting to keep feeding even more! (What's that about?! Does anyone else's LO do similar? 
) Anyway, now I can judge when I think he's full, pop the soother in, and he's fine. If I get it wrong and it so happens that he is still hungry, he lets me know. So I don't feel guilty. As I say, I just think it's great! :)
Yorkshire - sorry to hear you're struggling a bit with feeding. Is it any wonder they have to push breastfeeding so much?! Though, to be honest, I kinda wonder would they be more sucessful if they were just honest? I.e. it's bloody hard and to manage it is a real achievment, but it's the best thing for you and your baby, so it's worth giving it a try. As it is, I know that in the beginning, I certainly thought "my God, this is meant to be simple and natural - what's wrong with me? Maybe I should just give up now - I'm clearly not as good as other mums." I think I was lucky in that, as well as having honest Frolickers, I also had an honest mum, who breastfed all of her babies, but who openly admits that it was a real relief when we went onto bottles, because it was so much easier. Anyway! I hope you're managing okay now.
I wish Ozzie was still around too, actually, because I think it'd do her good to read through this thread. When she left, the thread had only just started, and I don't think there had been much talk about how hard it all is. It might have made her feel a bit better, because she really was doing a wonderful job, expressing like that, and I don't think she realised it... Oh well.
Bunny - how funny that your lactation consultant told you not to leave it more than six weeks before introducing a bottle! All the advice I read said that it was best to wait 8wks if possible! As it was, I didn't have a choice - LO needed his special milk, so we had to start giving him a bottle at 11days. We were very careful to follow advice that I shouldn't feed him the bottle, or let him see/smell me just before he had it, and that he was always fed in a different room, but otherwise we just had to get on with it, and, luckily, LO was fine, though there was some frustration for him getting used to the slower flow of my milk. Nothing we couldn't work through though. I don't know, but I kinda think you just work through if you have to, whether it's ideal or not...
Gosh, it's a pity we don't know each other in RL. I have so many newborn clothes, Bunny. LO never fitted into them, so they've been washed and ironed, but never worn. If only I'd been able to give them to you, that'd have been nice and handy, wouldn't it? Oh well.
This post is going to be so long - I'm still replying to the same post from you, Bunny! But I was just interested in how you mis-timed Will's feed? You sound like you have a routine going on and I want one! Lol! My LO's still demand feeding, and while I try to fill him before I go anywhere, he's often still hungry. Ie. on Monday we went to a one hour baby massage class right across the road, and before leaving, LO had a bottle and half an hour with me. Then at the class, he needed feeding again! I'd love to just sit there and think "oh, it's okay, he won't need fed till 3pm" but it doesn't seem possible!
Ooooh! Will is just gorgeous! So tiny and newborn!
...Still not caught up but LO awake and hungry and don't want to lose this! Back later.
WhiteRoses ·
24/11/2010 16:01
Okay, I'm back. Gosh, that WAS long! 
I'l try and make this a bit less "ranty"!
One - I never had the numb bump thing (hurrah - one symptom I escaped! Lol!) but by the sounds of it, nothing to worry about. Not long now till you join us. Seems no time since you got your BFP, either!
November - my LO was the same with the dummy, like I said before, spitting it out in disgust initially, but he takes it now... Might be worth persevering with? As I say, I've found it to be an absolute godsend!
Yorkshire - lol at you and your target dates! You were exactly the same when ttc, remember?!
Hermya - how many nappies are you going through a day? I worry about LO, because he never cares if he's wet or dirty, so it's always down to me to remember to change frequently, and I always really hope I do it often enough...
Worrisome - that's brilliant that you're feeling so much better. x And good that you're getting more sleep too. Makes all the difference, doesn't it? :)
I STILL can't get on and see your pictures! :( Why not?! Or Yorkshire's! Yet Hermya and Bunny's are fine! Anyone know more about computers than I do?
Pixie - was starting to wonder where you'd gone! Glad all's well and hope you're back soon. x
Right, my news... Basically, I'm the world's worst mum, apparently. Having carried out a lot of research into vaccines, I withheld permission for LO to have them last week. I felt that with a compromised immune system (LO still has a trace of his cold), it wasn't the right time to bombard his little system with 6 different vaccines. Also, I feel that, particularly at this stage, some of those 6 are unnecessary. For example, tetanus... That's contracted through an open wound. Seeing as LO can't yet move about, and seeing as he doesn't spend any time with animals, I feel that the risk for him contracting this right now is very low. So I'd prefer that he was vaccinated later on, when he starts crawling. Next, diptheria. It's very, very rare. In 2006, there were only 10 reported cases in England and Wales, all of which were contracted abroad. So I don't feel the need for LO to be vaccinated against it at this stage. And polio... There hasn't even been a single case of that in the UK since 1998, so why my 8wk old baby urgently needs that vaccine put into his system while it's still so immature, I don't know. Anyway, the health visitor appears to believe that I'm the world's worst mother, seeing as I had a valid counter-argument for every point she made, and I've no idea when we've to see her next. I was ushered out of the room with the advice that I should "go home and talk to LO's dad about my decision". I don't know what kind of relationship she has with her husband but I would NEVER make a decision like this without the complete backing of DH. Anyway, seeing as I'm on the topic, I've long thought she was a bitch and have long questioned how good she is at her job. The first time was when I explained about pain in the left breast whilst feeding, and a reduced flow of milk on that side. I thought it was probably a blocked duct, but didn't want to mess about unless I was sure. Asked her and she told me that as I was right-handed, the right boob was bound to be more comfortable, because "everyone has a better side". So I ignored it, it got worse, I complained to my mum, she told me what to do, I unblocked the ducts (plural) and the relief was immense. Second very bad thing was that she taught me how to do LO's heel prick incorrectly. (He has to have his blood levels checked twice weekly to keep his PKU under control.) Anyway, there's a card with circles on, and you've to drip his blood into two of the circles. She told me to completely fill both circles, with several drops of blood, and, during her demonstration, she had to prick LO 4x to get enough drops. Doing it this way myself, under her supervision, I had to do it 3x. A couple of weeks later, I was speaking to the dietician, and she asked how I was getting on. I said I found it a bit distressing having to keep pricking LO and she couldn't understand why I was having to do it so often. Turned out that all we needed was a single drop of blood in each of the circles. And worse than that?! In putting so many drops on, the blood was overlapping itself, becoming more concentrated, and with that being the case, there was a good chance that LO's results could be inaccurate! How ridiuclous is that?! Ugh... Did I say this wasn't going to be a ranty post?!
I must just be in one of those moods. Though I suppose I'd better go anyway, get a shower and tidy up, so that MIL will believe I actually am a perfect mother/wife! Lol!
bunnygirl80 ·
25/11/2010 02:18
roses we're feeding on demand, Will just seems to be doing it at vaguely regular times, so I can kind of predict when he will want feeding next. Unless we go out anywhere, then he will decide to deviate from his usual habits
Your HV sounds pretty rubbish with the advice about the heel prick test. I suppose with the vaccinations she's just got to do her job and try and check your reasons for declining are sensible and well thought through.
DH had to go and have a whooping cough vaccine this week, as there is a big epidemic here, so all parents of newborns are being offered a booster. Interestingly, he had to have a tetanus booster at the same time, otherwise apparantly the whooping cough vaccine isn't effective, so perhaps that's one of the reasons why it's given before our LOs are likely to get any injuries which could give them tetanus.
No idea about when you should see the HV next - over here we're pretty much left alone unless we ask for help.
worrisome glad you're having a good week, hopefully things will continue to get better for you.
Will discovered the art of cluster feeding for a couple of evenings this week - I spent 5 hours on Monday night with him attached to me for half an hour, then fussing for half an hour then feeding again. Was in tears by the end of it as I was so exhausted - poor DH couldn't help either, as if he took Will he just started screaming. Obviuosly he didn't want to be taken away from his food source. Thankfully he's gone back to feeding 3 hourly now, so it looks like it was just a mini growth spurt.
I've got my first mother's group meeting tomorrow. Do you have them in the UK? We're basically put in a group with all the other new mums in the area, and we have 4 meetings lead by the HV, then we arrange our own coffee mornings etc. Hopefully I'll be in a group with some nice people
HermyaAndThePomBears ·
27/11/2010 14:33
Hello all,
How are you all doing? We're doing well, DS was weighed the other day and is now 10lb 1oz. What a little bruiser. I'm quite sad now though as he's started to grow out of his newborn stuff. I don't want him to grow up, he's still all snuggly and lovely. The one good thing about this growth though is that he's dropped one of his night feeds. I was speaking to a friend and she said it was the same with her DS once he got to 10lb.
bunny DS is the same, it's all a bit random during the day until 6.15pm when he'll snap back into his routine.
White You're not a bad Mum, you've looked at all the facts and have made a decision based on your own research. Actually if your LO was ill even with a cold, you're not supposed to give the vacinations. Plus I've found my HV a bit worse than useless when it comes to breastfeeding. I basically have been using kellymom and the breastfeeding boards on here which have been very very helpful. As for nappies we're going through about six to eight a day. DS is very good at the poonamis, but like yours is unbothered by sitting in it. I only change if he's dirty or I'm waking him up to feed.
NovemberAli ·
28/11/2010 17:23
Bunny - hopefully it's a growth spurt, Matilda has been through a couple which seem to consist of her feeding constantly between 5 - 11pm, but then settled back down after a week or so.
I wasn't a big fan of my HV either Roses, they do seem to be a bit of an odd breed. I think you only need to see them if you have any concerns now. They said I only needed to go in to have Tilda weighed every month or so, so have just been sticking with that.
Good news on the reduction in night feeds Hermya, it's so nice to have a bit more sleep isn't it?
In other news I went to a wedding yesterday so a full 7 hours away from Matilda, was quite hard but managed okay apart from the fact that I had forgotten to put breast pads in and was soaked by the time I came home - fortunately I had a multicoloured dress on and no one could tell (or so DP told me)! It was a beautiful wedding in the snow so was pleased I went.
bunnygirl80 ·
01/12/2010 04:41
It's gone all quiet in here again - I assume you're all out enjoying the snow.
DH went back to work on Monday, so it's been weird being all on my own with Will. So far we seem to be doing ok. I feel a bit sorry for DH though, as the only time he's getting to spend with Will is during his evening unsettled period, so he's really not seeing him at his cutest.
They're showing reruns of Twin Peaks on TV at the moment - I remember my parents being obsessed with it when I was young so I've been watching it when doing late night feeds. Turns out that was a big mistake cos it's soooo spooky I ended up scaring myself silly and being convinced there are evil beings lurking on our patio 
bunnygirl80 ·
07/12/2010 23:26
Where is everyone??!!!
Have ended up reading but not posting for the last few days as Will has been quite unsettled and will only sleep in my arms in the day. Thankfully he's sleeping for 4-5 hour stretches at night so I'm managing to get some rest.
I think he's just got major wind at the moment, and he keeps looking for something to suck, so I assume he must be hungry, feed him and make his wind worse 
He was a bit better yesterday, so hopefully it's just a little phase we're going through
Spirael ·
08/12/2010 07:08
I'm still here and checking regularly. 
Just busybusybusy at the moment getting things ready for Christmas!!
And off to work for a day today too... No peace for the wicked!
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bunnygirl80 ·
09/12/2010 09:51
worrisome I'm glad you're feeling so much better.
My new development for today - Will has decided that the quickest way to make him settle is to sing jingle bells to him over and over and over again until he's fast asleep. Obviously he's decided to get into the festive spirit 
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