We went in for ten am and proceeded to sit around for an hour before they got to us, this was due to the sheer number of women in for induction that day!
J then decided to get into school as nothing was happening, so left me once they told us what was going to happen and I was hooked up to a trace. Pumpkin was doing absolutely fine so they gave me the pessary at 11.56.
They came back after twenty minutes and told me I was contracting even though I couldn?t feel a thing, just like Braxton Hicks.
At 12.30 they brought me some lunch and I started feeling the contractions. I sat with another girl on the ward whose waters had broken at 29 weeks and was in for observation and we had a chat, she told me how the ward works etc.
After lunch my mum came to see me, she found me sitting on a gym ball with the contractions getting stronger and more frequent. She told me it could still all stop as apparently with Prostin the pains can be deceiving and feck off.
In the time she was there she said I changed completely, and by the time she left when J came back at 4 I was alternating between sitting on the ball and lying on my side on the bed and doing lots of deep breathing. At this point I caved and asked for some paracetemol. When J went away to get something to eat I went for a bath as they said it might ease the pain, and if they were false contractions then they?d probably slow them down and give me a break. It made no difference which I was assured was a good thing.
At six, after I couldn?t eat a thing, they asked me how I was coping, I said I wasn?t anymore, by this point contractions were coming ever 1-2 minutes and lasting 30 seconds so I wasn?t getting a break. I was examined and found to be 4cm dilated so they said since the labour suite was quiet I could go up for some entonox if I wanted. I wanted. As we left I gave a weak smile to the woman in the bed opposite who?d had her first pessary at the same time as me and was having not even a sniff of a contraction. I felt the strangest mix of envy and pity for her at that point!
Once up there they got me changed into a nighty rather than the pyjamas I?d put on before my pessary. This led to a conversation with J who was going through my bag looking for it and when I said ?It?s white, has Winnie The Pooh on it and has green round the edges? he tried to hand me a baby vest.
The entonox did some good but I was put back on a trace as the contractions were so thick and fast and Thomas? heartbeat was soaring. I was offered other pain relief and took a shot of Diamorphine. I?d originally been against it due to the fact Morphine makes me throw up and I didn?t want anything that would cross the placenta but I was starting to struggle even with the entonox and they told me it might slow the contractions a little. They gave me an anti-emetic as well and the stuff was wonderful!
Things are a little hazy from here in, but I remember a conversation about 8.30 where we discussed when I?d next be examined and what would happen then. J asked at what stage my waters would be broken and they said that they wouldn?t do it unless I was quite far on as it makes labour more intense and I was already struggling so much but that they might go by themselves. At just after nine my waters went of their own accord. ?My waters have just gone. Or else I?ve wet myself, but I?m pretty sure I grew out of that.? The mucous plug came with them leading to me being terrified because I was bleeding when I convinced them to let me go to the loo.
There was also a conversation in my head that might have actually been a dream as I?m informed I drifted off a few times once the Morphine kicked in properly that led to ?Come on, help me out here...Swimming.? Unsurprisingly nobody knew what I was on about until I informed them I was talking about the mermen. I also hallucinated a Maypole above my bed that had people dancing around me and announced how best the labour suite should be decorated for Hallowe?en with witch hats made from crepe paper and hula hoops.
At about 10.30-11 I was examined again. I remember being a bit nervous they were going to tell me I?d only gained another cm or so and joking that I?d be massively impressed if I was fully dilated after how long it took to get to 4cm. I was at 10cm. As Thomas had been back to back they asked me to wait a little while before pushing so he could get into the best position. I managed about 40 minutes before telling them I really needed to push. They got me into position and told me to go for it (but took my G&A off me!) I pushed through four contractions before they told me to stop. Which I did, but my body had other ideas and out he came anyway at 12.02, missing my cousin?s birthday by 2 minutes!
They showed him to me, we?d decided to find out the sex for ourselves ?It?s a boy, it?s a boy, did you hear me?!? and allowed me to hold him briefly then things went a bit wrong. He was taken away and paeds were called as he was struggling to breathe. He was given oxygen and stimulated and warmed up and as soon as he had the Vitamin K he perked up. As I was still in third stage (?Is he ok, is he ok, what?s going on??) and a bit wobbly they wrapped him up and gave him to me for a little while. I then passed him to J while they examined me and stitched me up (2nd degree tear due to him coming out Superman style with one hand in front of his face!)
We tried to feed but he wasn?t taking me on so they said we?d try again on the post natal ward.
I left him with J and went off for a shower which was blissful, I lost 300ml of blood from the tear and most of it was attached to my feet and nighty seemingly. I got dressed in new jammies and tied my hair up and they took us down to the ward. J was allowed to stay with us for a little while, while we tried feeding again. He still wasn?t taking it on so we decided to leave it til morning (it was past 3 by this point) and J left us to go home and get some sleep.
We had a relatively quiet night, though he was unsettled following his rather traumatic and fast entrance into the world, I spent most of the night holding him and at one point they just propped me up with cushions and put the bed rails on so that if I fell asleep it wouldn?t be disastrous. I think I got about forty minutes total and that was when one of the midwives managed to settle him for me.
The next morning he was jittery and shaking so they checked his blood sugar and it kept coming up low. He still wouldn?t feed and eventually they asked me if I?d give him formula as otherwise his blood sugar was going to get worse and he?d end up in SCBU. As the day went on he had several blood tests and wouldn?t feed properly, and eventually he was taken to SCBU anyway (in my notes: ?Mother very distressed at thought of baby going to SCBU.? No shit Sherlock!) I was in bits. Absolutely and completely distraught, I?d only had him for 16 hours and they were taking him away. I managed to calm myself, rationally I knew it was the best place for him but I hated them taking him away. Not helped by the fact the paeds consultant was about as useful as a chocolate teapot and had not explained a single thing to me all day.
I went up to see him about 5 and they told me that when he?d gone up he?d had a huge poo, his blood sugar had been absolutely fine and he?d taken a huge feed. They said if he could repeat this then he?d be back with me by the end of the night. I went up again later and they said he could come back down as long as the Dr said he was fit. Personally I think he just wanted to see all the little girls who were in SCBU as he was one of only two boys up there!
I managed a hot bath and some sleep before he came back to me about 11.
The next morning a new paeds dr came to see us and picked up a possible heart murmur. Apparently this is very common in newborns and is due to the way the heart develops and changes after birth. We were taken down for a scan pretty much right away and they said there is nothing to worry about and we?ll be recalled in six weeks to see if the valves are doing what they?re meant to. He also explained the bruises on his face which were due to how fast he hit my pelvic floor apparently!
He still wont feed from me, he can latch but doesn?t like having to suck for the milk, but is taking EBM and formula and the midwives are working with me to see if I can get him to take the breast, otherwise he?ll be mix fed for a while and then we?ll reassess. I refuse to get upset because I can?t do it, that is what formula was invented for and as long as he?s eating and stays healthy I?ll give him what I can. As I said to someone yesterday if they told me it would help I?d be out digging up woodlice for him!
He?s very colicky as well, he was in the hospital and still is now we?re home, I?ve just managed to get him settled after a pleasant hour of screaming. He?s on his front on my chest as it?s the only way he would calm down (facilitated my typing as well!) J being very good at taking night feeding shifts and letting me get some sleep. I did have a small meltdown the first night home when nowhere he could potentially sleep would do, for now he?s sleeping in the pram in our room! I then made J check him three times for his face being clear of bedclothes, him not being able to wriggle down and that he was just generally fine. All this was eased as soon as I realised that without the ambient hospital noise I can hear him breathing so would know if something was wrong, especially as he?s a very snuffly baby!
I haven?t cried today, which is day four and something of an achievement, there are lots of references in my notes to me being tired and upset. Well since I think I got six hours sleep between Monday morning and Thursday morning I?m not shocked! I got a fair few hours last night, an hour this afternoon and then I?ve had a few hours before my colic shift tonight.
J very supportive, though strangely very bothered about the BF thing. I know he?s his baby too but he seems unreasonably upset that it hasn?t gone to plan. He?s taken to fatherhood like a pro though and has figured out one armed lifts and has done his fair share of dirty nappies!
We?ve had the MW round, he?s lost very little weight so with his feeding issues that?s a weight off our minds. Of course as I undressed him to be weighed he weed all over me! And he still gets a lot of hiccups!