Dec 08 Ladies - Waiting for BabyLady & the usual grumpy tots with stinky bots

[DeidreBarlow]

Hope this is ok...

Hello,
Thanks yeah the shoulder used to be managable - even mostly pain free if I kept the Ibuprofen up, but now it's not even masking it enough and I can still feel a dragging pain. I was hoping to get my appointment late this week but it's Monday now. Not sure if they are doing the cortisone injection then and there or if it's just a consultation with the surgeon. On my own tonight as dh is oncall till the morning and then goes straight, and I mean straight to the new job from the old job but it's just an induction day I think.
I did double baths and everything seems to be a negotiation and / or making ds feel like he's making decisions on his own - it's exhausting! - I'm guessing this is the norm with a toddler? It's "show me how you can take off your t-shirt so we can get in the bath" "Then we can brush your teeth"(wants toothbrush then and there to suck on without bath) "after we get in the bath you can have your toothbrush, and then we can go down and have milk and Iggle piggle" "Hurry up Iggle Piggle is starting" "we might be able to play with your pink truck before bed if you get in the bath now" (Thanks Mrlady btw! - he bloody loves that thing - it's been brilliant!)
It's just exhausting but guess it's a toddler thing, and he's much better if he gets to choose things himself etc etc.

Vaggie it was me about the trailer / slings - and yes I figured they were just covering their asses. DD is pretty good with the head control and can hold it up for ages at a time - she did that quite early compared to ds but good tip about the carseat. I could strap it in too as dh has some of those straps for the roofbars
No Vaggie not getting the period yet but started taking the pill again just a week ago. he doesn't have any fancy testing for fluid aparatus! he just pressed heavily on some strategic points and did a lot of hmmm, hmmm ing and then said "see that dent there when I release it - you've got major fluid retention" Lol I could have done that myself I suppose - better not be staying around becasue of the pill - It never went away at all though so I don't think it's due to that.

Lady glad the pain is easing up. Sorry about the midnight barney with LordG - bound to happen though - you've had surgery, you're in pain still, you're life has changed yet again, your little family as it was is all upset, and your hormones are a mess. it will get better when you get better I almost gaurantee it. I'm posting dd's proper present tomorrow and will include another fleecy suit I think she wore maybe once!
Right I'm shattered and dd is due a feed so i must get that sorted....
Hello to all the people who have popped in recently but don't so often x

bollocky bollocks, been awake for hours now and for once tis nowt to do with lil T! I can actually deal with this sleeplessness better as at least I'm not worrying about what could be wrong with him, but it's still annoying! This baby is also moving around loads more than I ever felt with T and I can't get comfy in bed. What I'd do for a king size...

Rubes, totally feel for you with the constant negotiation, it's exhausting isn't it! You're right that choice does make them feel better but sometimes you just want to shout 'we're doing this because it's quick, I say so, and that should be the end of the matter'. And then I feel like I'm turning into my mum. Can't help your poor shoulder to be doing double bathtimes, I'm finding lifting T in and out of his cot a real struggle at the moment, and can't imagine what it would be like to have an injury on top of that.

PD. hello and good luck with the job app, is it with your local council? Your commute sounds horrendous, you poor thing. I know i moan about the downsides of working from home and being self-employed, but I realise I am actually very lucky.

Lady I hope you're tucked up in bed now and not having a barney, I totally empathise with the middle of the night rows. Trace speaks sense though, you need to give yourself a break as you've really been through the mill, and from what everyone else has said it sounds like O is doing some pretty normal (if exhausting) toddler adjustment.

Any tips on toothbrushing btw? T used to be pretty good and now we can't get it in his mouth and I can already see some yellowing in the teeth . Have ordered an electric one (I know it says over 3s only, but I ignore that for most toys so assume it's similar) but any little ruses you use to get them to open and either brush themselves or let you do it would be most welcome.

Can hear the steady rain outside, it's quite something.

Off to see two more houses tomorrow, I won't bore you with details but fingers crossed we get some action soon. I now know we're not going to move before DS2 makes an appearance (which I'm quite glad about, despite throwing loads of cash down the drain in rent) but would like to sort it out before. Which reminds me, must sort out tax return soon too .

Oh yes, Avo, forgot to say that's great about bidding war over your house, I agree with the others, I'd go for the biggest offer and then rent until you find something you like. A pain to move twice, but with the uncertain market you might end up actually making cash and you'll be in a stronger position to buy with no chain when you do find the dream pad.

Bugger, am properly awake now but will try and read or something constructive.

Awful awful hideous night.... why is it always when dh isn't here!
dd had fed at 9 and then she usually wakes at 12 for last feed so thought I'll wait up for that (pretty standard really) but no she didn't wake. Took her upstairs, watched telly in bed, another hour didn't wake so i woke her at 1am (possible stupid but I knew then I could go to sleep for several hours after) but no, it's ds this time.... I heard him at 2am get out of bed and open his door but he didn't say a word, just heard his Iggle piggle singing and a few random toys being played with - fine, he must have gone back to bed but then 345, 430, 5am screaming out. Must have been his teeth but wasn't sure as he wasn't too upset if you see what I mean. Finally put him in our bed and was able to sleep 30mins (with half an eye open) but then he was trying to drag me out of bed. Then dd woke upset with wind and cramps (I couldn't get a burp out of her at all at 1am) My shoulder throbbing all night...
ds is a diaster this morning. he's clearly tired, and threw things down the stairs, then threw his spoon at b'fast, and screamed cause he wanted to do it, then screamed cause he kept dropping it off the spoon, then screamed casue I tried to help him. he's settled now after gel on teeth and meds in milk!

Oh Spot poor you being pregnant as well. I remember having those nights. it's awful, and I do have a king bed. re toothbrush, he just chews it for 2 secs and sucks all the toothpaste off, but then I (sometimes) scrub them for him but he totally freaks out. i don't care anymore as I'd rather them be clean. We have the same fights with nappy changes, getting dressed etc. Unless I negotiate as you say for AGES it all is a fight. Except the toothbrushing - with that he will not make a deal. I haven't scrubbed them in ages to be fair but must start again - it hurts the shoulder too much wrestling with him so will get dh to do it. Think I'll get him an electric one too....
Gotta run dd kicking off...

Rubes and Spot, sorry to hear about bad nights. It is always when the DHs are away isn't it?? I had a terrible sleep because my post-cold asthma is kicking off and I can barely breathe but of course DS slept through without a peep (rare occurence in the last few weeks). My grande latte is helping at the mo.

Toothbrushing....I am shameful. I most of the time forget, and when I do remember he basically just sucks off the toothpaste and spends the next 20 minutes rinsing the brush under water. I can't face the screaming if I do it for him, but I really am going to have to, aren't I??

Ah, the joy of the negotiations with a toddler. EXHAUSTING! I think if I was a SAHM I would have lost it by now. As it is, I can just about manage to negotiate in an upbeat manner in the times we are together. The journey home from nursery used to be a less than 10 minute walk (pop him in buggy, walk home). Now it takes 45-60 minutes with me trying to stop him from running into the road and hitting cars, 1000 warnings that if he keeps running off he will have to go into the buggy, and eventually a wrestling match to get a very large, strong, arched backed toddler strapped in.

Oh MoM - sounds like S and B are brothers! Exactly the same here.... everything takes an extra hour now. He gets ONE warning now with me then I wrestle him back in (ok sometimes 2 but that's strictly it. Yesterday he was getting angry about something or other and started throwing his toys around the room and at the dog and I gave him ONE warning to stop or he's going in the kitchen (our equivalent to the naughty step) so he threw another and narrowly missed DD - well you should have seen the scene, but it worked, and he even hugged me after (rare)

He's perked up now after his teething meds, and is now being chased around the coffee table by the dog, but I think someone's going to get hurt in a minute!!!

Just waiting for the gates to open for the school pickup. Sooooo half asleep. But must say at least I'm.not preggarslike you Spot. Wow that must be really hard, & I'm not working.

Toothbrushing. We use a few techniques, mostly DS2 uses one of those chewy toothbrushes you can get in waitrose, & we also have an electric battery oh gotta go

re toothbrushing - if I try P grabs the toothbrush really hard and won't let go and shakes her head all over the place, just wanting to chew it herself or run it under the tap. If DH says 'teeth' she opens her mouth obediently and lets him have a good scrub all round
Poor you veggie - I'm rather sleepy too but having a lazy day. P has just actually gone down for a nap which she hasn't done (for me) for weeks, and I've got a friend and her 1 yr old coming round in a few mins with perhaps a trip to the park later if the weather brightens up. How's your mum Veggie?
Rubs you sound very good at the consistant boundaries thing - I'm a bit of a soft touch with P (which probably explains the teeth thing!)
We went to look round the farmhouse on saturday, and while we rather liked it and could see ourselves living there, I don't think we're quite brave enough to make such a big change. Also the nearest school (2 miles) doesn't have any before or after school clubs which we would need, so it's not to be. Doesn't stop us going round the endless 'shall we move...let's stay here and extend...if we're going to extend that much we may as well move...let's move then...moving's big and scary and expensive so let's stay where we are...we could do with more space...we could extend...' We've been going round in circles with it for years! I'm still quite drawn to the cottage about 1 min walk from where we are now, but the lack of garden puts us off and it's overpriced (we think!), but we'd be still in our lovely community and L wold remain at her school and we'd have our church still and all those comfy things...Ah well, I'll still be going on about it in a year's time I should imagine!
I just had a text from a work friend - she's in Cardiac care with chest pain I hope she's ok. She's 50 something.
I'm really hungry but waiting for my friend...hurry up!

Hello all

spot & rubes Sorry to hear about the crap sleep last night. DS was messing about last too. The boy is unbelievable stubborn (wonder where he gets it from ). He woke at 4am crying, now of late we have been too soft and brought him into our bed. But then neither me or DH get much sleep as he thrashes about. So I went in bit of a love, some calpol (just in case) and left. He screamed on and off till 6.20am . Now I know that sounds cruel but he wasn't crying, definately screaming in anger at not being allowed out of his cot iyswim? DH then went and got him and the second he got in our bed he closed his eyes and had about another hour!

DH has taken him swimming this morning. Oh and he just chews his toothbrush, and NEVER lies still for a nappy change or to get dressed. Except yesterday when DH's Aunt was looking after him, she remarked how good he was at having his nappy changed. just laid there apparently .

trace Hope your work friend is okay.

veggie How's your mum today?

ladyt Hope all is well at your end and that you are getting lots of lovely rest.

A real quickie as I am actaully busy at work today.

Last night our Estate Agent took us to see a house that is on the market for 20% more than our very highest budget. I tried to resist going but she insisted they might accept an offer as they are uber rich and have a big country pile already and just want to be shot of their London home. It was AMAZING. Its right where we want to be in our current neighbourhood: near the Tube, near the park, near DD1's school and yet it feels like its in the middle of Kent. It has an 80 foot west facing lawned garden. That is unheard of round here. We are in love with it. Today we have put in an offer that is the highest figure we can stretch too. I doubt they will accept it as its still 18% below asking price. If they do accept it then we will be in huge debt and will basically have to eat stale crusts for several years while warming ourselves over candle stubs. I will also have to stay on full time at work (they will love that after all the work they have done finding a part time job for me to start in January). BUT its a once in a life time house. I am sooooo jumpy waiting for an answer even though I know it will be "no" and in many ways its a crazy and dangerous choice.

Anyway, I had to share that with someone. Sorry it had to be you guys. I will be back later with less self obsessed chat and some tips on tooth brushing.

DD1 is the same with toothbrush. Just chews off the toothpaste. I don't always bother to do it, to be honest. I should, I know! I ought to take her to the dentist soon too, I think??!

DB - not being cruel doing the ignoring thing at all. You know in their cot they can't come to any harm and there is such a difference between angry and distressed screams. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a tough love person with DDs - although DD1 has taken to waking in the night crying, and I do go into her as it's so rare and takes moments to quieten her down again. DD2 screams when I put her to bed, but I know that after 10 mins maximum, she will just drift off to sleep. If I go in, there is nothing I can do and it will just mean that she puts off going to sleep for longer, which is no good for either of us. I think it's teaching them to sleep! BUT I know it's horses for courses and some things work for some and some work for others!

Trace - I hope your friend is ok - let us know? And I know what you mean about the indecision! It's all a bit daunting, selling up. If we hadn't had a second baby on the way, I don't think we'd have ever got round to it, despite needing more room!!

I am thoroughly enjoying DD1 being at nursery. I kind of miss her, but the house is so clean now and I'm loving spending the time with DD2! She is a gorgeous little thing. By this age, I knew DD1 so well and I don't feel I know DD2 half as well, if you see what I mean. Hoping nursery will remedy that!

Anyway, must go and read my book for half an hour before DD2 wakes up!

xx

oohh avo I am crossing everything I can think of for you! Hope you get it x

Avo - any news??!

DD1 had a lovely day at nursery and was playing happily in the garden when I went to pick her up. Was lovely. She was trying to put a Sindy's shoe on another little girl's foot. So sweet. Just saying "shoe shoe shoe" as she did it.

She didn't have a sleep today, so I popped her into bed post bath at 6.00. Out like a light! YAY! DD2 in bed at 6.30 and asleep at 6.45 brilliant. Beer time!

Who's watching The Apprentice with me??

sorry Deids - it's Midsomer murders round here (DH's choice!)

Oooh, Avo, house sounds fabbo. Crossing everything!

Oh Spot, I guess you are the next in line for the dreaded Pregnancy Insomnia. Awful. I am v sorry for you. How were the houses today?

Rubes, what a heck of a night you had. Oh dear, that sounds very hard and coping on your own is so very much worse. Oh, I read something today that made me think of you as I know you are worrying about DS and talking (as are others) - it said in my book that 'receptive language development' (how well a child understands what is said) is a far better gauge of progress than expressive language development (what they say). Interesting, hey? I do hope you have a better night tonight.

To all those struggling with toothbrushing - DD gets her teeth brushed twice a day and it is the absolute nadir of my day. My technique is simple and completely ineffective - force, and me starting off sweetly persuading and ending up shrieking like a fishwife. However, just like at Trace Towers, if DP says 'teeth' she just opens her mouth and lies there good as gold

DB, how is your Mum's foot? She is very brave! I did smile about the sticks though. Very resourceful Oh, and I definitely think you can tell the difference between 'crying in anger' and 'crying in anguish'. I think most Mums can.

Trace, any news on your friend?

And talking of ill, how did your Mum fare at the doc, Veggie?

Beans, I know what you mean about knowing DD2 less. At least, I can imagine. O is still cutting up rough. Worse, actually, she is just so sad She came down from her nap and DP had put DD2 in the moses basket on the floor. DD1 came and clung to me for half an hour with her head buried in my chest. Also, I had to stop her shaking the moses basket earlier when it was on its stand. Sigh. I think it's going to be a long haul. Things with DP are ok again. I suppose we are both tired and it doesn't help. He is trying hard to help and I am massively grateful. I absolutely dread him going back to work in a week and a half But I feel quite normalish today, mentally and physically. But DD1's suffering cuts me in two, as does having to pay DD2 little attention.

Apprentice tonight. Anyone watching?

I'll be watching Diedre. Love it!

No news on the house. But that in itself gives a glimmer of hope. They didn't say "no" right out, or laugh in our face.

Cross posted with you, DB! Me! I'm watching. I am sad Margaret has gone but I am a big fan of Karren Brady. She always has good shoes.

Oh, and Trace, I love hugs! I love throwing my arms around people, so any hugs welcome.

Lady I won't be where you are until March, but I really think one of the pros of such a small age gap is that neither of them will remember these really difficult early days. O is just too wee and too resilient. Once things settle down, it will be as though this was always how things were. YOU will of course remember how hard things were, but try not to feel guilty on their account.

I am falling asleep in my pasta and am taking a 7:30 am Eurostar train to Paris in the morning and haven't packed or tidied up at all. I think I might have to get up at 5:30 and sort it then. DS is going to get the choo choo ride of his life tomorrow! Weather is looking good for the weekend, so hoping we have a nice time with lots of yummy food and sleep (come on DS...do it for me!).

We are here for Apprentice too. Bit unsure about Karen Brady I loved Margaret.

LADY seriously it will get better I promise you are all in that first couple of weeks of utter knackeredness, stress and you are recovering form major surgery. Soldier on my love. We can always organise a helping you out rota. Lots of us have cars and can travel to you to help out. I will also pass on a big old shmoochy hug.

Rubes what a crap night. Hope tonight is better for you.

Beans am sending the boys to your house of sleepy babies.

Veg how long is your mum with you?

Toothbrushing here is a bit hit and miss. I do often forget to do it in the eve. But I often give them their toothbrushes in the bath then when they come out and I have them wrapped cocoon style I attack their teeth. It has varying degrees of success. But another DH says teeth and they both stand their with their mouths wide open.

Did anyone see that report on BBC breakfast this morning about spelling and grammer? It made me realise how shocking my spelling and grammer is. Where on earth would I go to get spelling and grammer lessons at my advancing age?

Oooh AVO that is exciting about the house, fingers and toes crossed.

Also forgot to say DH has been accepted to run the London marathon next yr . Thats my life up the running swanny for the next 7mth while he obsesses. I am very proud but it will become everything. Silver lining is he wants to enter the NY marathon too so long wkend in NY coming up .

Right off to raid the cupboard for sweet treats.

Oh gosh, MoM, I hope so. I know you are right really.

Have a lovely lovely trip to Paree. Is the 07:30 too early for champagne? Right, DD2 needs to be fed, have to dash...

i am jumping in there on the teeth issue (and shamefully bypassing the truly important stuff which is going on here - sorry): have just discovered that i can get madam to open her mouth wide if we sing "ahhhh" together, and then we sing "eeeee" together where she shows her teeth clamped so i can brush the front. that might help - it took about a week of me doing it to get her doing it, but now she does it really happily. that might help???

lady - sorry to hear the woes, but D is so gorgeous - soon it will all be a distant memory.

avo - fingers crossed for the house

rubena - sorry for the night. hope to have a better night tonight.

apprentice fans: i haven't laughed so much in ages - both the denouement and paloma trying to work out the sausage machine. priceless.

Have been watching the Apprentice too (still am as it was paused) I love their house.

Lady glad you are feeling better all round, and echo what the others say - they won't remember any of it and will love each other loads and you and dp of course! Any time at all I can come out and visit / help out / keep you company when dp goes back to work if you want - just say the word, as I'd love to.
Interesting about the talking thing. I spoke to a friend today who said her friends dd didn't talk at all and then at 2.5 came out with a full sentence and is much more advanced in speaking now than her older ds's so that made me feel good. Also told her about dd's strawberry nevus on her lip and she said another in her baby group's elddest dd had one 10cm long and raised by a cm on her head and it completely went away by 4 years old which made me feel quite silly for worrying about dd's

MoM - enjoy Paris, and wishing you a meltdown free ds weekend

I scrubbed ds's teeth this morning while he screamed, and then gave the toothbrush to him after I was satisfied, so then he promptly hurled it down the stairs then hurried down to get it and suck on it for a further half hour I want to get him an electric one but do they make mini electircs?

Spot - got your FB about tomorrow. Will confirm later but I'm pretty sure it's fine for next week!

Hello WG nice to hear from you! dd has been unsettled ALL day so praying she's got it out of her system. She's been really windy and done about 3 awful runny nappies [yuk]

Beans, did you get my message about the 1 o'clock club? i'm sure it's not the same one as yours but let me know as I'll be there next week one day possibly.

Avo I'm excited to hear about the house offer! on the edge of my seat like the people waiting for Phil Spencer to get the call back!

jam - is your dh a bit of an athlete then? Good luck to him. I still haven't been on the cross trainer. Not even near it for that matter

Hi everyone, had a quick scan, so I do hope I haven't missed anything (but it is very likely). What I do recall ...

LadyT is home with the lovely, shiny new Dahlia. I'm pleased your pain is easing and I'm sure before long O won't even remember what it was like having you to herself and will be perfectly happy sharing with her sister. I do wonder how E would react if/when she ever gets a sibling - she's quite a pain when her cousins come, not because she's bothered about sharing, but because she will not share her Grandma under any circumstances. And I'm very embarrassed to admit this, but I think I've missed whether you've got moved or not. If you have, please could someone fb me LadyT's address?

JJ lovely news about another girl. Have you told DD(1!) yet?

Jolly I can't imagine what it must be like, feeling so rough. I hope it passes and doesn't carry on for the rest of your pregnancy.

Trace don't worry about summer having flown by, its almost half term! Although, I've got that week off, so I can't extend the lunch invite for then. Another time soon though I hope

So exciting about the house Avo

Deirde sorry about your grandpa, I am so useless when it comes to seeing people I love in pain. My Gran's best friend died last week and I gave my Gran a lift today and barely mentioned it because I didn't want to see her upset, when really I wanted to give her a big hug. They'd been friends for 85+ years and outlived each others parents, siblings, husbands

And that is as much as I can remember. I am such a crappy poster at the moment but just feel run off my feet at the moment. As it is tonight I've had to chose between body hair removal and posting ... DH will be thrilled

Good lord, thanks all for wishing me a better night! DD slept from about 1030p ish till 7![Shock] and ds didn't wake till 715am. I'm posting from bed still! Stupid part is, I couldn't and didn't go to bed till after 1am