Dec 08 Ladies - Waiting for BabyLady & the usual grumpy tots with stinky bots

[DeidreBarlow]

Hope this is ok...

Deids, how's things with granddad today?

How is the Lord, Lady and mini Ladies this morn?

Horrible weather.

Oh LadyT it is tough when you are recovering from surgery and having to deal with the first mini LadyT being not too happy. I would go along with what everyone else has said. Dont change your regular boundaries with her but give her massive amounts of cuddles etc.

Veg how is your house of ill?

Rubes have you tried this for DD I have on and love it can even put DS1 in it if he is tired. I always found the bjorn got really uncomfortable on my shoulders and lower back.

PD what a crappola length of journey is that 3 hrs each way?

Urbane resign if you are that unhappy dont stay there.

Jump totally missed that you are having another DD how lovely.

Avo I would go into rented for 6mth then it gives you the time to find something you really love.

So over the vom bug but now DS2 has a really heavy cold and is back to not sleeping. So last night went down the sort of CC route again. I guess its more of a rapid return as he just screams and gets out of bed. It took an hr of hysterical retruns to bed then about another 30 mins of just getting out of bed no crying returning. Am sure its not jet lag anymore. Just dont understand why he doesnt sleep. On holiday after the first 3 nights he slept every night for at least 12hrs. Maybe I just need to move to somewhere hot and build a pool in the garden to knacker him.

DB forgot to say that is very sad news about your grandad.

Loving the middle class tantrum stories. When DD1 was about 2 she had a meltdown at the supermarket checkout. An old lady was standing next to her and remarked to me that it was cruel that sweets were on display at the checkouts as it always sent the toddlers into a frenzy. I nodded and pretended that was what had happened, but then DD1 could be heard yelling "But I want the guacomole". Oh the shame.

And can I join the work misery-fest Poison and Urbane? I too am bored. Nothing in my current position interests me. I am actually under loaded and I find that demotivating as I see no point in coming into work. I feel like they aren't giving me responsiblities because I am a mother and won't work evenings (evenings are very busy here). I would consider redundancy too, but at the moment its not being offered. I hope you get the local job PD, how great would it be to have no commute at all?

I hope your DD1 enjoys nursery today Beans! Enjoy your semi-freedom. To answer your question about renting - I don't think we would. I am more positive about the idea but Dh says no. Firstly, he says that its expensive. Second, its a hassle to move twice. And third, DH is very risk averse and is worried that more banks might collapse and if we liquidise all our assets we would be very vulnerable and could lose all our cash. He is also worried that property prices might rise while we are out of the market. 18 months ago our house was under offer for £150k less than it is today so if we had rented for these 18 months our buying power would have been really reduced.

Hee hee! I like the middle class stories too. Can I jump on the bandwagon? My niece, who is sent to a very posh private school in Notting Hill, was playing a game of food pairs with some of my sisters' friends from Yorkshire. They were saying things like "yorkshire pudding and gravy, sausage and mash, fish and chips" - Katy then chipped in (age 7) with "quails eggs and celery salt"!! HAHAHA! She is one of these uber-bright little things. When she was 4 she asked me if I knew what a baby bird was called. I thought I'd inform her - you know, impart a bit of my vast knowledge to her. More fool me - told her they were called chicks. And she said "Actually, Beans, they're called fledglings". That told me!

Am thoroughly enjoying my freedom, although it is v odd not having little piping voice in the background. Bliss to have This Morning on, though, and not effing Squiglet.

DB - are you ok? It is so horrid about your Grandpa. I saw my grandparents this weekend - they're 96 (on Thursday, grandpa) and 92, granny. Granny is just gorgeous, although dementia is slowly setting in and she is forgetting a lot of words and asked me where I got DD1 from on Sunday! But Grandpa isn't such a nice man. He's ok, but very arrogant and has been vile to my mother. She has recently had to put them in a home because she is 65 herself and has real trouble with her hips and cannot physically care for them. They have been living nextdoor to my parents for the last 20 years and taking advantage of Mum - well Grandpa anyway. And every time Mum has said something they don't like, he's threatened to cut her out of his will. Old sod. Honestly. My greatest fear is that my Dad, who is 70 next year, will die before grandpa! Dad is so much the better man and I so want him to outlive that old bugger. Sorry! Bit of a rant!!! Don't know where that came from!

Avo - I can see what your DH means. We are renting because we don't know WHERE we want to go, if we did, then we would have sold and bought at same time. And the rent is crippling us!!! We are determined not to use the money from our house sale as we need it for when we do buy, if you see what I mean. Hence shoe string budget. Although have just bought myself a Heat magazine! And I am deeply in love with Fara charity shop. Have got some fab stuff there of late!

PS Sorry if that last post seemed a bit of a long dialogue about my grandfather. It's been a terrible stress for Mum recently, so it's all a bit fresh in my memory. They say they're hating the home, but they look so much better and no longer smell of pee and are eating well etc. But they blame Mum for putting them in there and say they hate it. It's been v tough for my Mum, so apologies as it's really not very interesting! And I've just done it again!!!

Avocadoes Hiya, good luck at the dentist today. Sometimes when you've had a good worry about something all goes smoothly [desperate emotion!!].

Hello to everyone else. Will try to get on tomorrow for a proper catch up.

Could someone FB me Lady's address please? x

I'm right on it Beans and Jam....
Nolda, love how you used Avo's full name back in a min.... off to FB

Thanks Rubes - all ready to go.

Lady - are you there? Are you feeling ok? x

Gosh Ibuprofen not fixing shoulder pain AT ALL
Good luck today Avocado's So funny your dd wanted guacamole!
Sorry to hear about all the grandparent issues. I don't have any around anymore but dh has a Nan who is fighting fit.

Beans that must be nice.... TV's on baby stuff here as well - the ds telly restricting doesn't last long when I'm tired if I put This morning on he hands me the remote
I was wondering why although my belly is very slowly reducing, the digits on the scales aren't and dh did a quick test last night and it seems I have large amounts of fluid retention still [yay] I didn't know it will still hang around this long after birth? Vaggie what's your take on this? He reckons 2-3 kg worth. It would definitely explain the shoe disaster on my birthday though and why they don't fit properly. I need to flush it out with loads of water and exercise helps he says and limit salt. Great I hate water, have to force myself to drink squash, drink loads of wine and coffee, and love salty foods
DH has put on 10kg since the race in Spain. He's getting a new bike and we're going to get all fit and stuff (seriously ) Vaggie and Summer we are going to buy a trailer and since the Chariot is so pricey, I've noticed the Croozer has an infant sling as well. What do you think of it? I noticed that it says sling not for use when used as a tralier (only a buggy) but the Chariot one says that too but most people think it's ok right?

Flying visit from me (as usual....bad Dec 08 mum)

Lady - Your post CS experience sounds very similar to mine. I had lots of bruising, lots of pain. The good news is that I went from feeling terrible to all of a sudden feeling brill. I thought it would be more gradual and was worrying about how long I would be down for. I know that by New Years Eve I was running back and forth from home to the pub on the corner to drink champers/feed DS. My DS was born 16th Dec, so that is about two weeks. Hopefully you're turning that same corner! CS recovery seems to vary so widely - when people were talking about the whole "too posh to push" thing, I couldn't believe anyone would choose this amount of pain. But it seems that the really painful recovery is maybe more unusual and lots of people have no trouble. I will focus on that if I end up needing to have another one and hope round #2 isn't as painful!

Kiwi Happy birthday and hope you're holding up okay.

DB - Sorry to hear about your grandpa.

Avo - Fab news re: the house!

Hope other lingering lurgies are lifting, Veggie et al. I am coming to the end of a nasty cold and wheezing away.

Afternoon ladies...

I have been giving O massive amounts of time and attention since we got up, I am drained. She is going up to bed soon though. She is very slightly better today - losing it with me a few times less...But I have more or less ignored the baby this morning and I think that is why Just as I thought I had turned a corner with the pain yesterday afternoon, it was definitely significantly better again this morn, so I think my body has just finally decided to start pulling itself together Er, just need my mind to follow suit now as I am a gibbering hormonal splodge.

PD - a job on the same street would be grand! I used to walk to walk sometimes but it was ah hour's walk. Still lovely though. Ooh, fingers crossed for that one. Remind me when you are set to move?

Invis - well, I have been trying to make DD1 feel important/superior. She likes it if pull 'yikes' faces when I am holding the baby and mouth help and generally channel Shaggy from Scooby Doo Hmm, I'll bet the schools thing is a stress. Are you going state or private? Well, in London it can be a bit of a headache either way I guess. Settling into the new job more?

Urbane - you are from Yorkshire, right? Well, I wouldn't worry too much then as it's one of those parts of the country where it stays in your bones, even if you eat ricotta Work is a tough one, though. I feel for you. I don't want to be gloomy here but if one is at work, one worries that one ought to be at home, and vice versa (well, I do anyway).

Rubes, that shoulder is a right bugger, isn't it? Good about the fluid though - that's only 'trick' weight! But I am with you on the salt/coffee/booze as you well know. All the nice things invite fluid retention, it's so annoying.

Beans, I absoutely hooted at 'effing Squiglet'. How I hate it. That big faced Lion thing. Groan. And it was very interesting to hear about the family background so please don't stop. I don't have any grandparents alive, the last one, my Mum's Mum, Nanny Alice, I had died when I was five.

Avo, have been thinking about your house stuff and would you consider using a Phil Spencer type consultancy? I just think if there is a lack of property in your area, someone like that can swoop on new properties fast.

Mom, I read about your cs experience last week with a face like this Heavens, you poor girl. Your experience, and to a much lesser extent my second one, is not the norm, no. Mind you, I am still counting my blessings, it's not even a week since I had it yet. My aforementioned Nanny Alice had her last baby when she was 48, a full 10 years older than I am now. Furthermore, it was her tenth child. I do think of that whenever I am feeling weedy.

Well, had a row with DP in the middle of the night. It had to happen. He is being so good and so practical and I know he is trying super hard but he is so lacking in empathy. It's not actually his fault. But I am finding it so hard as I really need some emotional support from him at the moment. The row wasn't about that actually but I am just not up to raised voices and very cross words at the moment, and he is still being very tetchy today. Anyway...about to watch The Thomas Crown Affair (the remake).

Hello,

Just a quick stop in....

DB I do hope something got organised for your grandad. Hospices can be lovely places to be, sounds odd I know but my brother died in one and it felt very unhospitaly.

avo That is amazing about the house.

beans Moan about your grandad all you like! My nanna is a similar difficult older person, she has actually cut my mother out of her will (actually given her the minimum so she can't contest ). My mum still does everything for her though.

Hope DD has had a good day.

ladyT Thanks again for the emailed pictures. I still can't get over what a beauty D is already! I feel for you on the empathy front, it is just needing to be appreciated and cared for. I'm sure when O settles down a bit everything will seem brighter. Just takes time I suppose.

Did I say yesterday I was feeling better??!! . Hopefully I'm just having an off day....

Lady: glad the pain is easing. You have had a tough old time of it.

I would join in the work moans (one word:RATS) but I've just drafted my job share application which would mean going down to two days a week. I'd love to find something else that pays the bills for a third day but my options are limited. Best of luck for the job, PD. I think you are doing very well not to have gone berserk working for That Council.

Deidre: sorry to hear about your grandpa. And Beans too with gp woes. We have three gps left between us - went to see DH's grandma last weekend and she's a gloomy old Lincolnshire face. But surprisingly nice with it. 911/2 and still living on her own - has just made the decision to give up her car.

Hello All!

lady Glad the pain is easing up a bit now. Shame about the middle-of-the-night row though. Things never look good in the middle of the night.

rubes Hows the shoulder gone on today?

PD Good luck with the job. I used to have a 2 hour commute into Manchester which I loathed, it now takes me 10 mins (in traffic) I love it!

Sorry to all others with job woes, nothing worse than being at work wishing you were somewhere else.

beans Sorry about your Grandpa, I love mine to bits but they certainly change the older they get and not usually for the better. Grandad is much the same today, the Palliative care team are coming in the morning and I am hopingthey will suggest him going into a hospice for a while until they can sort his meds out. If anything my nan could really do with a bit of respite, she is his only carer and not in the best of health herself.

Mum has just phoned from Greece, she suspects she has broke her foot But will not go to hospital as if they put a pot on it she might not be able to fly home! So Dad has made her some crutches out of some wood he found while he was exploring. I think he fancies himself as Bear Grylls or something. Metaxa all round to ease her pain I suspect...

Sorry DB but I am chuckling at the mental image of your Father out scouring the streets of Greece for crutch shaped sticks.

Evening ladies.

Thanks for asking about our lurgies, DS1 is better & went to school today but mum is still unwell we've made an appointment with my GP clinic tomorrow.

Sorry about your grandad being an arse beans, that's difficult for your parents esp as they aren't young themselves.

DB I'm sad for you & your family at this time, your poor little LO's have had to deal with the sad side of grand parents & great grand parents already haven't they.

Hey PD good to see you, that would be so cool to work on the same street that you live in, I love working close to where I live but the area of nursing I worked in made it an unattractive option.

Lady glad to hear your pain is improving you def sound on the mend. I like it when your not in pain.

Pubes that shoulder sounds so annoying more than anything, when is your appointment?

Sorry had to post because again phone had its own ideas.

I feel bad as I can't remember everyone's posts. But Pubes I'm not sure about the fluid retention, your not getting your period yet are you? How on earth does he check your fluid at home? Maybe that's why your shoulder is hurting though 2-3kgs prob would not cause that much pressure.

DS2 & I had a lovely morning, we went to a local city farm and fed our scraps to every last animal they have. We also watched them milk a goat which I think baffled him & maybe upset him a little poor little man. He looked a little serious & kept saying, "mook, mook!" Then we rode over to a friend house for a coffee. I thought I'd give mum a rest from the boys. My friends son is 15 months old & when we go there her older daughter is usually there and DS2 usually plays with her. But today he had a great time with her son & I think they might end up being best friends.

Oh & on the 'too posh for cheddar cheese' talk, when was DS1 was around 2.5 and had only really been talking a couple of months I went to a little cafe with a friend in Derby (we had only just moved up from London). I asked DS1 if he would like a cheese toastie, he announced that he would actually like a "panini with moterella & geen pisto, peese".

Sorry post four but someone was asking about slings & chariots, I think the sling advice is just trying to get out of possible liability. I would def wait until they can hold their head. over here they have several crazy ways to transport babies around buy if you want to.carry her in there younger pop her in, in her carseat.

Much sympathy to those with work stress - Avo - I totally get the being underused/undermotivated thing, its rubbish and I hated it. Am busier now, but much happier and actually feel valued and useful (as well as entertained, sort of). It does make home life more complicated, but it is worth the trade off. Although I can see how it can go to the other extreme like for urbane - my DD would definitely not appreciate my laptop in their room and they already plot against the blackberry. PD - your commute sounds brutal being bored locally does at least sound like it would be a huge improvement in quality of life.

LadyT - glad you are physically turning the corner. When you worry about O, just remember, there will I come a time when she won't even remember life without a sister. We are totally undecided about the schools thing, which is one of the problems - we have the whole host of choices before us, private, state, faith schools (including one of Michael Gove's pet "free" schools). But of course the choice is not all ours. I can't complain too much though as I think our fall back options are not too bad. Did have a rather worrying conversation on a school tour yesterday (of a very lovely local state school) where the head casually mentioned that they were expecting huge budget cuts and didn't know if they would be able to maintain current staff ratios.

On the middle class child thing, I to confess that DD will freely tell anyone who asks that her favourite food is pasta and tapenade. She doesn't like tomato sauce on pasta. Hmm.

Can I have a proud mummy moment? DS is a cute little monkey, but one of few words. Bizarrely though, even though he can't say much, he seems to know his colours. DH seems to think he has figured out M for Mummy as he was waving around an upside down W in the bath and shouting mummy, mummy, but I am not so convinced by that one. All very back to front anyway. Who knows what else he's figured out without telling us.

Cross-posted Veggie - hello! That story about your DS is very cute. And love hearing tales of your boys and picturing you all on your dutch adventures

hi all
Am failing miserabley at keeping up with things here, so I'm so sorry for all the people and chats that I'm missing in my mini catch-ups.
ladyt glad your pain is easing a little. It must be so hard for you too with O reacting to the changes like she is, and with your hormones all over the place. I guess you're within the 'baby blues' period too - just keep an eye on yourself. I actually would like to give you a (very gentle) hug - although I have no idea if you're a huggy person. Everything will be just fine in time. Little O will find her place again and be your chatty, socialable princess again, and precious fluffy D will be revealing her own little personality before you know it.
beans you could be our very own Mrs Sleep Your dd2 is sleeping better than some of our dc1s!
rubs that shoulder of yours sounds a real pain. Any idea how long it might be until it starts to feel better?
JB I'm sorry your sickness is still hanging around. It must be horrid for you. Yak. Which reminds me...aubs where are you at with the vomiting therpay thing?
pd your posts always make me chuckle! How fab would it be to work and live so close?!
I'm loving all these tales of posh tantrums! Obviously, being from Up North, I have no stories to add
kiwi how are you doing?
vag what a shame that your mum's unwell while she's visiting you. Hope she's soon better.
mom hello! Lovely to hear from you. Hope things are good.
ZJ is quiet at the moment. If you're around ZJ I just wanted to apologize to you - you offered to meet up with me over the summer and I don't think I ever replied to you. thank you so much for the offer - I wouls have loved to meet up but the hols just zoomed by...hope you're doing well.