FESH spa and creche: Is anyone thinking of the children yet?

[SkiHorseWonAWean]

New Fred. Apologies for dullness of title - we need curly for witticisms.

boxybox I am following Henny on Fb and have already seen some of the footage. Mega hoss or what?? Makes me wanna go XC. NOW.

curlysue hellooooooo! Hope you is all ok. I have all this joy to come I am sure.

Early start tmw! Nag needs turning out and mucking out. So please wish me luck trying to get HI out of his coma to come with. I might have more chance of growing a money tree.

I have no idea who Peter Atkins is, but I may take to going round XCs shouting Hey Racehorse! I love the way he praises his horse.

Can I file a new application for the "bad mummy" award? New evidence is thus:

i) He's currently watching a cartoon
ii) I can't remember the words to any nursery rhymes, but did keep him amused yesterday with:
"What do you do when you wanna go to loo in an English country ga-ar-den?
Pull down your pants and widdle on the ants in an English country ga-ar-den!"

silver Who is not helping you? We will drive around delivering cunt-kickings. How are you feeling lovely?

falabella you need to do more than that to win the award I am afraid.

First morning stable chores - done! Only took 25mins of nagging reminding him TO GET UP NOW!!! This is a world record. The chores themselves with me doing what I could only took 30mins so coupled with journey there and back only an hour. Tho he still
moaned that he could still be in bed.

Had discussion enroute about what will happen after laying and basically he said he can't wait for me to get back to normal. Eg - able to do the hoss myself. He says he is happy for me to feed the baby and leave it with him whilst I go to the stables. Don't think it's going to be as easy as all that young man.

He wants his cake and eat it. Moron. He is just irritating when he is tired and is being asked to do something he really does not want to do nor does he have any interest in doing.

On a brighter note, looks like it's going to be a really lovely day weather wise !!!

No doubt tmw morning will be just as wonderful.

I think he's over-simplifying reality somewhat... in that he thinks you'll feed, then pop in to the car for 90 minutes and the baybee will sleep in his arms?

Oh bless these men. And no, they don't get "tired" at all. Jailbait was in charge sat night - Bear woke at 1 - so he fed him then. When Bear woke again at 6 I said "it's still your turn, you take a night shift - you take it all !". He grumbled and moaned that he "couldn't" because he'd already been up once and he was tired. to the .

They mean well - but they are sometimes clueless. E.g., I went to the yard on Saturday and came back to "I've had a lovely day, the most fun I've had with him in ages". I smiled but inwardly groaned knowing that because he'd not put the baby down for a nap we'd be in for a hellish evening - and so it was.

Can't get froot shoots over here - shall I give him a plate of chips instead?

Sorry - am cluster-posting.

It all comes down to what polly describes so beautifully - in that they can't "see" what needs to be done and don't understand the consequences to the (in)actions. E.g., don't make the baby sleep, baby screams for hours. Don't put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher = you get an ant infestation. Because they so frequently fail to get stuff right the first time, they end up creating more work.

They can't plan their way out of a pair of y-fronts ffs.

Silver Men have NO IDEA until child number 2 and then they are experts! Yesterday I went out for a little plod on a friend's horse for an hour, and when I got back just over 2 hours later the house was empty. I had rushed back as I thought there might be mass panic going on out our house. Instead OH had put babyee in the mei tai and walked DD through the woods to the playground and had been pushing her on the swings. DS was fast asleep and eveyone was mellow. First time round I did not leave OH alone with DD to go and ride till she was 3 months old, and even then I got pitiful phone calls asking me when I would be back.

They get the hang of it eventually. OH is now extremely aware of what happens when sleep occurs at the wrong time, or if there is too much or not enough of it.

Ski I agree with Silver I'm afraid. Once you get to be 8 months pregnant with number 2 you realise just how slack you can be. Smarties and CBeebies all afternoon just so I could have a kip?

Poor silver. I think your HI is going to get big shock. We did this really useful exercise in nct which just illustrated how much time the baybee takes up -ie all day. Mr moo is feeling a bit scared but realistic. We talked yesterday about reality and how he can help when I am struggling. I am lucky that he works from home. He's not so lucky!!!! Silver is ge going to do horses every day indefinitely? At least til jan?

Tell me about it.

Before he left he said he can see that I am going to be one of those nagging wives. He's lucky he managed to get out the door alive cos I wanted to rip his head off.

Fair enough he doesn't want to do some stuff and could turn round and say no but he knows that if he doesn't do I will have to and cos I am preggo he'll do it. If I was simply sick. Different story. Still my problem. His argument is that you don't see other blokes down there helping out.

Knob knob knob knob knob knob knob knob knob.

Actually - I'm going to put it out there. Babies (at least this one), does not take all day - although obviously cannot leave him unnattended. Before 11am we were both dressed, fed, dogs fed & walked, washing done, kitchen cleaned, etc., etc.

He's now back asleep in his cot and with any luck should be down for another 40 minutes.

You're unlikely to get 6 hours unhampered though!

Btw - joules baby clothing is of exceptionally good quality - I'm a total convert. Sale prices only though ladies! Crap selection on their site right now though.

Luckily for him gals is that sharer is doing full days on her days so he we get a reprieve a few days a week. When junior arrives sharer will take over fully tho no idea for how long. At least coupla weeks then will review and go from there. Fortunately sharer is v v v willing.

It's not like I am making him get up and do stuff whilst I am staying in bed. Good job cos at the weekend he nearly put the hoss out in the wrong field with the wrong group of nags!!

He knows ts going to be tough and we've talked about it lots. He has convieniently forgotten about hoss. I have said if he wants me to find full livery accomm for hoss then I am all for it and I will start scouting for a new yard. He knows this is not an option due to the dollars. Or I said I out hoss on loan - which he won't let me do. Rock and hard place anyone????????

I remember Mr C looking forward to paternity leave as he saw it as 2 weeks off work and like a holiday. He was planning for us to go out for lunch and do nice things but the reality was much different. I do recall though it did get a lot easier pretty quickly like Alpy said and that you just become organised to get what you need to do in the day done. Frirst 6 weeks I would say are a bit toublesome what with feeding and just working stuff out. We (as it the Oct/Nov lot Silver, Moo, Wit Reggie wherever she may be) should be nicely sorted by Christmas!

Yep, as cokie says, the first few weeks are pretty tough - if you want to do "other" stuff you need to plan like a mofo and forego sleep. But it does get better.

reggie has been for NCT coffee & cake. :)

I am going to join in the downer I'm afraid. Have had several shitty nights in a row, Artie seems to have forgotten how to sleep at night, will not settle anywhere - just spends his nights pulling at my boobs and headbutting and punching. I feel like a total failure atm, that I cannot keep him happy :( He is only happy with boob in mouth but most of the time is not actually feeding just pulling at it - but won't accept dummmy most of the time.

This is resulting in me starting to really resent him and be unable to enjoy him during the day. and I shouted at him the night before last :( I just seem to forget all the tricks to calm him down that I have during the day.

On the upside, he took two bottles of expressed milk, yesterday and sat. Only tiny amounts though, as thanks to his contstant boob contact there is actually no time I can get a decent amount expressed

okie alpro what will be will be. Will deal with it as it's thrown at me.

Besides Christmas is not that far away!

Lucky reg. I haz been food shopping. It's life on the edge here!

...but at least in the very early days they sleep between feeds, sleep pretty much anywhere and don't need to be entertained!

I have tried to teach Squeaker that watching me do stuff is entertainment. She would beg to differ

cos don't worry luvver, we've been there - I remember it vividly, shouting and cursing and crying and topping up with formula every now and again. It's hard to stay zen, even knowing the reason they are doing it is to build your supply for their needs - I believe they don't even necesarily need to be sucking to do this, just be in contact with your nipple so your brain gets the message. It does settle down - I personally got to grips when we gave Rastus a bottle of formula last things at night which helped him sleep through, and it was about the same stage you are at, if not a little earlier. It had no effect on my milk production at all, actually it meant when he woke at 4/5am he had loads of juice to feed off and he went back to sleep again for another couple of hours. Which meant that I went back to sleep and was much more able to cope during the day.

I'm not suggesting this is the solution for everyone - it really saved my sanity though, and was a compromise between exclusively BF, which happens for the rest of the day, and my mental wellbeing and decent night's sleep.

Think about it as an option anyway - it's not an admission of failure, it's doing what's best for you and the nipper.

x-posts.

well said cunty And please don't fret cos. I don't think we'd be human if we didn't get upset in that way at some point.

Cossie You are absolutely not a failure! Sleep deprivation destroys everyone. :( cunty is very right I think - to keep the both of you happy & healthy, you need to do what's right for you too - not just Artie - whatever the solution might be.

You may also find you have that much more milk of a morning that you can do some decent expressing (always more effective in the morning) and save it for later...

And, at the risk of sounding like a zealot here, it helped get into a routine - that bottle is always at around half ten so he has learnt that the bottle means bedtime. Bottle, cuddle with mummy, bed.

"And 2 children is at least 4 times as hard work as one child" Oh feck.... I am doing very well at not thinking beyond the birth atm. Birthpools researched, favourite is bookmarked, I've even thought about buying some new PJ's and a fluffy (dark coloured) robe and some nice fluffy towels to wrap baybee in. I am Not Thinking about the logistics of feeding and dressing two (and ideally me too), getting Boo to pre-school, dog walked etc etc etc.

Well done on the riding Box, very impressive! Isn't it just a beautiful day again? Long may it last.

Cos ditto here to the 10.30 massive feed. I initally did an expressed bottle feed (a large one) which actually Mr C gave so I could go to bed earlier and I found this tanked him up through until about 4-5 giving me a decent amount of kip (and him too). At 3 months this becaome a formula bottle as I found I was having to express so much during the day to get enough for that large 10.30pm feed. Like Cunty said I found I needed my sleep and this is what worked for us. I found I could funciton more or less as normal during the day. And you are not a failure.

Sorry Cos that will teach me to refresh before posting. So sorry you are struggling at mo, but you are not a failure. We've all been through it, and it is utterly wretched. Sleep deprivation is evil and I can totally see why it gets used in torture process. We topped Boo up with a bottle in the evening, like Cunty and it helped no end to settle her. And whoever said you have to do the right thing for YOU sometimes is absolutely right. Happy mum = happy baybee.