AUGUST 2008 - Relax and Enjoy

[TwilightSurfer]

LOL! I didn't want to put any pressure on "you know who."

Glad you got a nap in Tweaky.

Buckets sounds like a successful ikea trip. Am stupidly as I still can't get an answer on when we will be able to exchange.

QoD sorry DH is having such a hard time. Sounds like the most constructive thing you can both do is to keep communicating. I remember you hanging in there with S - you have real stamina!

Also pretty glum as have just said goodbye to my emigrating chum.

Actually just generally low. Am main breadwinner as of yesterday - today went and shopped in Waitrose. D'oh.

qod sorry about DP feeling so rotten. But i am glad he is opening up.
pert lol - a last hurrah by shopping in Waitrose?

QOD My DH was just like that summer07, there was nothing we could do to alleviate the financial burden and I felt awful as I desperately wanted a third baby. The GP signed him off work most of the summer, put him on antidepressants which were hellish for the first week but they helped him cope another year in that office with them before switching venues. He is still on antiDs but now he has new company, new band and is now fervently protective of his non-work time so will try to come off them in the new year once job is settled in.
The good thing, as others have said, is that your DP has talked about it - that is the biggest hurdle for depression. I remember reading someone on MN reaching rock bottom, just couldn't say it out loud, only to us online! She ended up writing a note saying 'make me a GP appt', screwing it up and throwing it at her DH.
Good luck.

Poor you QoD. It is a very stressful time for all bringing up a young family. As others have said, at least he has opened up, so make sure you let him continue to vent/offload and then come up with some practical moves you can both make going forward to address those points you can. Oh, and give each other a hug

pert sorry if I missed something - is DH in between jobs or been made redundant? Hope a new job is right on the near horizon for him

Very of your long nap tweakers. How goes you and your one man dynamo this evening?

I have gymmed, worked, food shopped and toy sorted today. Pooped but housework still o/s and washing basket still full. At least of clean clothes i suppose

DH home 10 mins ago and has already gone to bed. He is blaming it on work but i know he went to bed at 2am after drinking red wine and chewing the cud with his mate last night

crisp don't be too ! i expect in one night you're getting more sleep than i have in the last fortnight!
my little dynamo has been lovely today and is now peacefully asleep upstairs cuddling his teddies. And as for my one man dynamo, he's been sent out to the shed to do some sewing

qod no words of advice, just keep talking to us

i was only really popping on here to say that no news doesn't mean Pea's arriving! I'm off to bed now in the hope of actually getting some sleep tonight

sweep tomorrow at 2pm so we shall see what that brings [shocked]

Oooo good luck with sweep Tweaks

Crisp didn't mean to mislead, sorry, this is all self-inflicted and pre-planned: this is DH's 12 month stint dropping down to 0.2 at work so he can also work for his friend's start-up - unpaid. The sums just about add up so we're very fortunate to be able to let him have this adventure but still... it feels a bit scary. Oh well, at least they decided it could all happen in Dorset rather than Malaysia He'll be away one night a week and working from home the rest of the time. Yet another reason we're itching to move into the new house.... [yawn]

oooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no overnight news from the tweaking one ...........

love to all

Hi LWFH

Tweakers good luck with sweep. I had early induction as you might recall and although going from pretty mild contractions (that I couldn't feel at all) to full on a couple of minutes apart ones in a very short time it was ok and DS was out in 3.5hours.

QoD sorry to hear about DP but hope that he's feeling better now it's all out in the open. I think it is very easy for people to feel completely trapped by work. Can he take some time off just to rest and spend some time with you and S before the new arrival?

Pert sorry to hear about departing friend - hope you both manage to keep in touch and the house move starts moving again.

Am v about some stuff going on at work am trying very hard not to let it get to me but I think this time I'm going to have to say something to my boss about it as am sick to death of being walked all over and others taking the credit for everything I've done. Am also feeling torn at the moment between not having enough time to get my work done and not spending enough time with DS. Is it very bad of me to want to get pregnant for the selfish reason that I get m leave or better still maybe quit altogether?

After months of a 24-26 day cycle, getting to 29 days yesterday I was sure I must be pregnant at last... but I'm not

Tweaky I hope you find yourself in the same position later today, but obv with a and a [baby]

Love to all

thanks pert just really hoping that she's going to be able to do it ok. I think i'll cry if she tells me i'm all closed up still! Also hoping T isn't too traumatised by having to watch what the mw is going to do to his mummy

That all sounds v exciting re DH (I too kept meaning to ask about it )

how's the house thing going? Want me to threaten to give birth in any offices to get things moving for you?

hi lwfh, nope, sorry, no news! as you were!

Hotter we must have swapped this month as I had much shorter cycle this time.

sorry, crossed with you both!

hots hope you're right....

spring sounds like a talk at work is overdue... are you going to do it today?

Tweakers no have already left for the day and boss on course today plus one of my team just resigned so more work for me until can find replacement - wasn't a great loss and not very surprising that she's going but hey ho.

right well then i think you should write down now exactly what you want to talk to boss about. put it in an envelope and hide it away until monday morning
Monday morning comes, book meeting with boss, reread notes and make sure you allocate time in your working day to start the recruitment process asap

Tweakers sounds like a good plan. Don't worry already have interview lined up on Monday for another role which isn't so urgent so will see if she's suitable for this vacancy instead.

Off to birthday party with ds soon so don't get started without me. See you later as night in beckons!

hope you have a lovely day
try not to think about work and its associated crapness

Sorry to hear of so many work woes :( QoD it is so hard when partners are stuck in work hell, isn't it? But great that he managed to speak to you about it at last. You might remember I had a similar thing with DP a little while back and I felt quite helpless as to how to usefully support him - it's not like we can go marching in and change their jobs/slap their bosses for them.

One thing I did was to make a mind map (don't laugh ) of all the big life changes we'd talked about over the last few years, with all the different pros and cons listed around them. It was a good visual reminder that we do have choices, even if some of them aren't easily achievable right now, and after the wedding we're going to sit down and work through it in order to make a useful plan for the next few years.

Also don't underestimate the crushing effects of never having a holiday - am I right in thinking you haven't had one for some time? We haven't either and it makes the hard stuff so much harder to bear. Sounds so shallow when put like that, but it's true. You need time together that isn't just about washing skiddy pants and wiping snotty noses, although am sure you know that...just musing out loud really.

pots sorry mate :( and spring too. Boo to having a crap time. spring of course YANBU to want to spend more time with DS. I have found myself increasingly torn about the amount of time J spends at nursery, even though he loves it there and I don't necessarily think I'd make a great SAHM. He's just changing so fast at the moment and it feels like a critical time that I should be spending with him.

Am meant to be working from home anyway so had better take my pyjama-clad ass back to my document.

Thanks everyone for lovely words :) I'm trying to help on my side by getting on top of the housework. Did some yesterday which was good but ended up with crippled hips by the time I'd done. Will be asking the midwife for a physio referral I think!

cyteen you're right about the holiday thing. We've NEVER been on holiday together. My last holiday was in 2005, so it is wearing never getting away from it all.

springa I don't have any advice I'm afraid! Is there a chance you could reduce your hours?

Anyway, S is napping so I'm going to go get our kitchen properly clean. The floor is totally disgusting!

Cyteen I know what you mean.

VG you're right usually its fine and actually I find I care much less since having DS so generally things don't get to me like they used to before but for some reason this really has.

QoD can you have a break even if it's at home? Does DP have any time owing and would/could he take it?

I only do every morning in the office and 2 afternoons from home so don't think I can reduce any more. It's just the late night calls (a time zone issue) and checking blackberry that adds up as well - DS told me to put my phone away the other day

Anyway enough about me. DH out and I am nursing a G&T having put an over tired sugar filled DS to bed after his friends party. The first night for a while we've had tears before bedtime.

As you were ladies

Afternoon

QOD - No advice just {{hugs}}

Springs and Hots - sorry it wasn't your month.

Tweaky - positive thoughts for a good sweep and news that you are 5cm already :)

Cyteen - still in your jammies?

Hellooo to everyone else.

We are off to take DD1 to nursery for a visit before her start (possibly if I let her go ) next week. She needs to be with other children and grow in confidence around others. We only know 4 other littlies around here her age

Aww good luck for the nursery visit oops. It is nervewracking. Is this the start of her free nursery hours or a decision by you and DH to start her off? I can never remember when the free provision starts or how it works

If it makes you feel any better, yes I am still in my jammies Bloody delivery still hasn't turned up, and I want to go swimming! Or even just have a shower

It's our decision as she really need the stimulation I can't give her at the moment as E feeds every 2 hours in the day, so painting etc are squashed into little timeframes. Free nursery starts the term after the turn 3.

Ah I see :) She will be fine. DS is thriving at his, especially now - he loves the toddler room and I get the sense that he actually values a bit of independent time with his peers (if that doesn't sound too terribly wanky ).