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Sept 08 - Our LO's are nearly 2, and they're hiding to do a poo (is it time for potty training, not until it stops this raining)

979 replies

ninja · 01/08/2010 00:20

I started it!! (I'm going away to London with just DD1 tomorrow so I want to know where you all are when we get back.

3 toddler free days!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
becaroo · 23/08/2010 16:22

Blimey, so many!!! I was wondering about Eandz too the other day. And Leonied. Hope they are all ok.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 23/08/2010 16:58

Debs Lucie (my favourite spelling of it) is a lovely name and hope you're doing OK - again impressed you have managed to post twice on MN in one day with a newborn and not quite 2 yr old!!

Star and all, a Steiff bear is my mum all over. I think I should let C play with it but then am I being mean as it might be worth a bit in 20 yrs when C really needs the ££ for education/towards 1st house etc?
Personally, I wouldn't buy a steiff and am putting money away for her in a bank as I suspect that might be more practical (well, I am an accountant - I've even started a pension for her and put £20 a month in ).

Sigh - how do you know what they should be playing with? Without exposing her to every toy under the sun, i have no idea if we're 'pushing' C down the tomboy route (not consciously) or whether it's her real personality. Eg I've never given her anything like a toy kitchen to play with or a pushchair but what if she would really love it?

StarlightMcKenzie · 23/08/2010 19:12

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CappuccinoCarrie · 23/08/2010 19:41

mrsA my dd is naturally a tomboy too, although she does love doing teddies tea parties, but also loves physical activity and football. She has no interest in dolls, fairies, princesses, dressing up etc, which suits me fine! I find her really hard to buy presents for as she'll happily play with lots of different things but there's nothing she's particularly into. For her 2nd we got her an aquadraw and megasketcher both of which are still played with by both dcs on an almost daily basis, so were really good investments. Aquadraw is great for taking out and about to the houses of childless friends too. (or to weddings!)

hopefully the zafira does seem like a good investment, it hast the third row of seats folded in the back which means you don't have to take them out and give them houseroom, and is cheaper and smaller than the Smax/seat alhambra.
Has the house guest gone...?

I am of course not pg (I'm the one with endo, not pcos). Feel peaceful/numb about it this time. The age gap is just too huge now, I can't bear it. But that more likely means that if we do ever get pg then we'll have two more Grin. I took dd and my godson out for a couple of hours this afternoon. It was so nice having no buggy or change bag, and they could properly play together and understand and obey instructions. I had a really nice time with them. It made me see that I'll be really glad when the baby phase is behind us, but I'd rather go through the hassle of the baby stage again for the sake of having the bigger family we want. If only we could actually get pg :(

debi you didn't see me coz we were away in Manchester for the weekend! Glad you enjoyed York :)

Meglet · 23/08/2010 21:16

MrsA (I am going to pick your brains now if you don't mind Grin). Why did you decide to start a pension for your DD as opposed to a trust fund / savings for Uni / house deposit? I'm putting money away to help the DC's get houses when they are older (all their xmas / birthday money goes in it too) but it's never occurred to me to set up a pension.

I'm starting to go into a mild panic about DD's birthday coming up and rather hoping that XP doesn't kick off. I won't be happy until the birthday / xmas season is done and we have hopefully not heard from him. If he gets in touch and starts ranting at me again I'll have to get a solicitor involved, and I really don't have the time or energy for it Sad Confused.

I'm impressed with myself today. I changed my gas / electricity supplier over and have saved us £15 a month. Pity DS's new swimming lessons are costing £23 a month, but it all helps.

ninja · 24/08/2010 08:31

MrsA she'll get enough chance not to be a tomboy - I'd encourage it.

DD1 is a real mixture, she loves dolls and dressing up, buit also climbing trees and looking at spiders!

OP posts:
MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 24/08/2010 09:59

Happy to have brains picked meglet, not sure how useful they'll be though :)

I have actually set up 3 financial products for C:
a young saver bank account where we pop the odd tenner/small cash birthday gifts, so when she's a bit older she has a small amount of disposable cash for little presents. My Grandma (who's 90) always gives me £100 for her xmas and birthday presents every year, so I pop it in there and buy her presents that she then opens in front of great grandma.

a share-based child trust fund. we put her £250 in there and now pay in £40 a month for her. I know people have mixed feelings about the child trust fund but I don't care about the governments contribution being axed, stock market fluctuations etc, I believe share-based long-term savings are the most profitable savings. I have chosen a fund that starts to switch the investment back to cash as she heads towards 18 to protect against short-term drops.
This fund will hopefully help with her education/first house.

finally, I started a pension for her with Virgin. Very simple and all done online. I pay £20 a month into it but it's a stakeholder so if things get tight (eg on maternity leave if it ever comes around again), i can stop and start contributions easily. I don't intend to pay any more than £20 a month into it as it is obviously seriously long-term, and I'm not even sure virgin has the best deal - was just the easiest to set up - but the way things are, at least she'll have a small foot on the pension ladder as it has 65 years to grow. I started my pension at 18 but that's cos I've always been a bit anal like that. If it's not high on her priorities at 18, she'll have something at least.

Anyway, that's my set up. Doesn't suit everyone but it gives me peace of mind.Grin

becaroo · 24/08/2010 12:28

I am VERY impressed mrsA

Can I pick your brains too?????? Smile

I have a CTF for both boys. ds1 got both voucher payments from the govt, toby will only get the 1st one. We pay any large amounts they are given into them and my FIl puts money in at b days and xmas. I pay £30 per month into each one too.

I like them because I cant get at the cash!!! I know what I am like and if they ever needed anything and I could get at the money I would! Am hoping that by the time they are 18/21 there will be enough to help them do what they want to do.

My question is wrt to me........I have no pension. Several reasons for this...the longest I have ever worked at ta place is 3 years and I have also had PT jobs too so it never seemed like the "right" time IYSWIM?

However, now I am supposed to be starting work with the NHS and they have a pension scheme, would it be worth me starting one now? I am 38 in October.

Am trying to get stuff done today as dc are out with PIL but am really tired. Hope my iron meds start working soon.

Does anyone know when the next NEXT sale will be??

FannyPriceless · 24/08/2010 12:41

bookmarking

Sorry I've not been around, I lost the thread. I just wrote a post and then lost itConfused. Don't have time to rewrite now as we're off to the GP so will just say love to everyone and I'll get back soon.

Some photos of DS and DD on my profile.

CappuccinoCarrie · 24/08/2010 18:32

That's very forward thinking mrsA!

My thoughts about the CTF are that the kids get the WHOLE thing aged 18, so if significant amounts get put in then they'll get a whopping sum that they might not have the maturity to understand what to do with. I guess that makes it our responsibility to bring them up well Confused.

We've also gone down the route of bank account in their name which birthday money goes into, so odd bits we want to buy them during the year come from there, and past age 11 we can choose at some point to hand over responsibility so they learn to handle money.

Our builder came round almost in tears today (this is the guy who owns the company and project manages rather than actually doing the day to day work) to say he's really messed up and our kitchen will be at least another 2 weeks. His wife left him 2 months ago :( Poor guy obviously didn't want to let his personal circumstances interfere with his work but in this case thought honesty was the best policy as he's failed to send a fax and caused a total of 6 weeks delay for us. The floor is being done this week which will make a massive different to our being able to live in the house and the kids can play, then the decorator will paint next week, and the kitchen will go in sometime the week after.

By way of compensation they're going to do our garden for free, which they'd quoted £1k for but we'd said no thanks and were preparing to face the hard graft ourselves (before DH broke his wrist!). Its all going to be ok in the long run :)

Debs75 · 25/08/2010 12:52

Fanny Hi hope everything is ok. How are you all coping? Toddler and newborn makes for sleepless nights here.

MrsA We are in the same boat as becaroo Dp never earned enough for a pension pot and he has been in and out of work for so long. We looked at what we should be putting in for a 35 year old and for a decent pension it was nearly the same as minimum wage. Afraid we have been burying our heads in the sand a bit and if the govt keeps going we will be either living off fresh air or hoping dc's can support us in our old age.
We have a CTF for Robyn and I will open one for Lucy as well, am just hoping it will be actually worth something when they turn 18.

Carrie What a nightmare for you and your builder. A free garden makeover isn't to be sniffed at. Even just strimming ours down is enough to put you off for the rest of the year.

becaroo · 25/08/2010 13:10

debs Hi, how are you? How is Robyn coping now Lucy has arrived? FANTASTIC choice of name, btw!! ]grin]

My dh has been paying into a works pension for years but I have never worked anywhere kong enough and I wonder now whether its worth it - I would need to pay in a lot every month to give a decent payout and cant really afford that so not sure what to do....I think an NHS pension would be better in the long run than a private one? Hmm

Am really worried about losing my child benefit....losing my tax credits in april (which isnt very much tbh) but I rely on the CB to pay for kids shoes etc and to put into their CTF accounts.

Does anyone know what the govt plans are wrt CB? I do agree with some benefits being means tested but surely CB should be for every child, regardless of class, race, or sex etc........seems our generation are paying for the sins of the previous ones Sad Not even sure there will be a state pension by the time dh and I are retirement age (75??!!) I really think we are going the way of the USA...only those below the poverty line will qualify for any state help at all and then it will not be enough.

Sorry....that was a bit of a self pitying rant wasnt it?? Grin

CappuccinoCarrie · 25/08/2010 14:16

Lovely pics fanny

debs you sound so calm and together for someone who's got a newborn, does it get easier every time?!

I thought CB was just going to be frozen for a bit? Maybe I'm wrong.

I have no pension plans as I have no plans to go back to paid employment, and DH doesn't earn enough to make any serious contributions of his own, never mind for me. My only plan is that when I turn 60 my parents will be in their 90s and I'll get their house which they own outright, and I'll turn that into cold hard cash. Harsh but my only option I fear.

The free garden makeover is coz its just gravel on clay, it needs excavating a foot down, hardcore putting in, soil then turf on top, which takes labour, digger and skips, all of which builder will provide, yipee!

Right now the builder is huffing and puffing downstairs coz he's here to lay the floor but the builders merchant hasn't delivered it and isn't answering the phone. I've plyed him with bacon butties and sugggested a few other jobs he could do around the house, but standing around complaining is his activity of choice! We're off out to the farm when ds wakes up :)

Debs75 · 25/08/2010 15:55

CB is being frozen for 3 years so what you get now will stay the same. I hope they don't get rid of it completely as us poor people near the poverty line rely on it. Then again if they do get rid of it they will have to replace it with sopmething else to stop families going under the poverty line. I think?

Yes Carrie it does get easier as you know what to expect and you remember how you coped with just the one or two.

Robyn is happy with Lucy unless she is tired and wants to cuddle me in bed. If Lucy is awake or feeding then we get the full green-eyed monster treatment and one of us usually has to bring Robyn downstairs and calm her down for a while. What I wouldn't do for another bedroom so robyn could get a full nights sleep.

becaroo · 25/08/2010 17:15

debs yes, the nights are hard arent they?

tom would still come into our bed - which I didnt want to stop - and I would be feeding (or trying!) to feed toby so there were 4 of us in a double bed!!! Not exactly comfy!!

in the end we got tom a double bed of his own so now dh and I can get a good nights sleep whichever room we are in!

toby goes to sleep in our bed then we move him into his bed (he shares a room with tom at the moment but will have his own - albeit very small - room in a couple of months) and he some nights he stays there for most of the night, some he only stays there for a couple of hours, but either way dh and I get some sleep which is what its all about when they are small.....I comfort myself with the thought that they wont still be sharing my bed when they are 12 or 13!!!! Grin

Good news that CB is only being frozen....I would really miss that money coming in!

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 25/08/2010 20:00

In terms of CB, my understanding was it was being forzen for 3 years. There has been some talk this week or it being looked at again but it seems that [fingers crossed] they might look at stopping it when your child goes to secondary school. All the signs are it'll stay for young children.
the issue here is, unlike tax credits, CB is not a benefit as such, but a tax refund paid to the mother. If they means tested it, it would mean a working mum might lose it but a millionaire's stay at home wife would still get it, as it's nothing to do with dads, IYSWIM. So, IMO, they won't means test it.

Like you becs I will lose a very small tax credit sum next yr but the CB goes towards C's nursery fees.

Pensions....Hmm Not an expert but my pension is one of the reasons I work FT. DP has no pension really, although hopes his business will be worth enough to sell on retirement. i have a defined salary pension atm, and 2 other deferred pensions from previous employment at blue chip companies, so we're hoping this will be enough. Does mean even going to 4 days a week would result in a large drop in pension, so can't be done.
I know it's not an exciting topic, but even a small contribution will bring in something on retirement. The state pension is currently about £7,000 a year (I think), so even if you can't afford to pay much in, even £20 a month will result in something.

Share-based savings have always outperformed other investments, even with market crashes. A good fund will start to move shares into cash as retirement approaches to remove risk.

Becaroo, I would always go for an NHS pension. You simply cannot get anywhere near the benefits with a private one. It will reduce your take home pay but the NHS contributions are really valuable and you would have to pay hundreds a month to match it yourself privately.

I know C will get her hands on the CTF money at 18 but I hope to bring her up to understand about £££ and if she needs it for uni, I'd be glad if she spent it on that.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 25/08/2010 20:07

On other matters, C is being delightful atm.

She has returned to being keen on trying other foods and at the weekend happily ate smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels with lemon juice squeezed on top!!

She has also shot up in height, which means her ribs are now showing and her trousers falling down cos she is still a skinny minny and less than 28lbs.

I take my temperature every morning atm, and she has noticed this and bless her, she toddles in every morning at 6.30am and gets my thermometer out of the drawer and hands it to me Grin

She's talking loads too and loves george from peppa as he has a 'roar' too (dinosaur Grin)

She is also saying please and thank you now. Tonight I wanted to turn peppa pig off the tv, and she said 'more peppa mummy, more peppa peeeeese!'

Ah, lots to do - must go and make watercress muffins for freezing otherwise the watercress will go off as we go away on Monday (yay yay yay yay)!!!!

DebiTheScot · 25/08/2010 21:04

DS2 is a Peppa and George fan too. He got a soft toy George on holiday and hasn't let go of it since we came back.
He's being a bugger with food though, has gone to bed tonight having had just a slice of bread for tea.

I've got a pension, I just started paying it almost accidently when I started work and so still pay it. For the kids they've both got their CTF but we haven't added to them. DS1 has a low risk share one and DS2 has a high risk share one (don't think that's officially what they are called) as we figured with share prices so low when we started it we might as well go for the higher risk one that should hopefully pay out more.
The boys also each have a NSI account with £1000 each from very generous great-grandparents and savings accounts held by the in-laws.
And we pay £60 a month (meant to be the tax credits money so might need to be reduced) into an investment ISA that is in my name but will be for the boys eventually.

fanny your kids are very cute, hope things are going well for you.

It hasn't stopped raining all day today and we were having a lazy day for a change so hardly left the house. The boys spent 33% of the day playing nicely together, 33% playing on their own and 33% fighting.

CappuccinoCarrie · 25/08/2010 21:26

debi the anal part of me wants to know what your boys spent the other 1% of the day doing!

DS has had a couple of tantrums today, but I really think its to do with wanting to play quietly and not be expected to go outside and have compulsory fun! Bless him he's my brother's nephew through and through, its as though his career path as a mechanic is a foregone conclusion!

Meglet · 25/08/2010 22:05

bookmarking...

DebiTheScot · 25/08/2010 22:22

pooing and making pizzas together (not at the same time!) Grin

FannyPriceless · 26/08/2010 10:50

Hi all!Grin So nice to hear what everyone is up to. And a belated welcome to baby debs75.Smile

We are doing fine here. DS is now 12 weeks old and totally thriving. He is so much bigger than DD was at the same age. I have now given up on the 3-6 mth clothes and he's started wearing 6 mth +.Shock So all those lovely neutral 0-3 mth clothes I'd kept for him never even got used. I'm managing to exclusively BF so far, so there must be something magic in my milk this time around.

The SPD recovery is going really well. I am even able to use a front sling which I couldn't dream of with DD. I feel so free! (Now just need to lose 2 stone and get my fitness back.Hmm)

carrie Sorry about the builders, AF, and your DH's wrist. I broke my wrist really badly in 2003 and still have the scars from the metalwork. In fact I met DH while still in a cast, and we.. er managed the bedroom stuff just fine.Blush (So feel free to leap on your DH for some SWI if needed when the time comes!)

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 26/08/2010 12:29

lol at the pooing together Grin

Lovely to hear from you Fanny Smile

It sounds like you've got gold top in them boobs of you. Well done you and ds, it sounds like you're all doing brilliantly. Great news about the SPD too.

Don't be hard on yourself about the weight - you've been immobile for months, and the fitness will return. Especially if you sling ds everywhere!

The weather is very shite here today. It's very wet and really quite chilly. We also haven't got anything planned today so I'm trying to think of ways to keep ds amused - that don't involve tv!

becaroo · 26/08/2010 12:47

weather - rubbish Sad
me - rubbish Sad
my boys - lovely Grin

thanks for the input re: pensions. will def look ito starting an nhs one when I start work.

weel done fanny sounds like you are doing brilliantly Smile

Hopefully · 26/08/2010 18:56

Fanny good to hear you're coping well - I'm sure the weight will fall off in the coming months, although I well remember how bloody depressing it was waiting for it to go (and I didn't even have SPD, just greed).

I had a tiny pension with my last job, but we are so poor at the moment that neither me or DP can think of paying into anything. It's very scary (even more so since I actually know something about finance), but there is just nothing we can do about it unless I want to go back to full time work. Since being PG this time I've hardly managed to earn anything due to being so knackered in the evenings, so we're actually getting poorer every month Sad. It's a bit stressful, but I'm clinging onto the hope that I'll feel better in a few weeks and be able to work again.