so gordon didnt choose to "think fish"

[SuSylvester]

i wonder why now

will set up own party.

and my last things to ban- wilted lettuce and the balamory theme song

Bans alcopops, particularly blue ones, on a whim.

Jeggings, Chickens dear, are the very devil.

But Ellie (wotcha, stop namechanging, I'm old and confused), the first one is always a bargain price of 50p and then you're sucked in. Offspring lose interest at issue 3 and you end up building the plastic reconstruction of the Ark Royal yourself. It's a government ploy to keep your brain ticking along. They devised it when they weren't thinking fish.

We will also be banning- with our kind and wonderful leader's permission- any item of fashion that isn't fit for purpose or is oversized. We will need some kind of venn diagram for crossovers. The oversized belt for example. Doesn't hold your trews up and is Too Big. See also sunglasses and bling. I'm bringing back subtlety.

Watch out people who do not pick up their feet when wearing heels (clack, clack, scrape), sniffers, people who think like is synonymous with the verb 'to say' and chewing gum.

So, they're like devil's pants? I bet there's lycra involved

Ooh, banning stuff? Can I propose the banning of those fiddly ties that hold small bits of plastic tat to larger pieces of plastic packaging? Also, slugs. They serve no purpose, and are icky.

Burberry. Musn't forget to ban Burberry.

Oh, and braying. No braying allowed.

Jeggings are an example of what is wrong with society today. The dissatisfaction and greed that has seeped into the collective conscious, whereby things cannot fulfil single functions, they must do more, have more, be bigger, bolder, brighter, more vulgar. Not content with just trousers, or just jeans or the heinous article that is the legging, we must have garments that are both. See also, jumper dress or jess or drumper. I give it 10 years before women can't buy a top unless it has built in shoes, a visor and an umbrella. I will name it, an abomination. And price it accordingly. One soul.

And swimming costumes are out. You will be naked at all times except when swimming when you may wear Victorian bathing gear, a smile and a wink.

And people will have to march. With placards. The lost art of marching is due a revival. Of course we'll knock your homes down to aid said marching.

DH has wasted precious years of his youth painting pathetic little armies of goblins and things. I'm sure they'll be of use. He also has some expertise in the chemical weapon area.

Hang on, jeggings are jeans AND leggings? Dear God, why?

The bastard lovechild of jeans and leggings in fact.

And why? Well you're in a world where Big Brother is entertainment. The question why has been obliterated. Give up all hope of the world making sense.

Don't they just look...shit? Why have I not seen these on real people? Are they the stuff of legend?

I own some jeggings

do I have to leave now ?

I keep reading it is as ban bonio, keep thinking of the poor pg woman who wanted to eat one ...