Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Original poster

Are you afraid of death?

79 replies

Pinkfluffyslippers · 30/09/2009 21:53

Sometimes I think I'm not afraid of death and I wonder if that's normal.

I believe in an afterlife so surely I shouldn't be frightened of it.... BUT I wonder if this is normal. TBH there are days when he thought of an eternal sleep is really rather nice!

BTW none of my close relatives has died so I haven't had any close hand experience of this which may explain my casual attitude.

Would be interested in what what others feel....( do hope I'm not upsetting anyone by asking this. )

Thanks
PFS

PS: Am watching Dan Cruickshanks prog on death....which may explain this.

OP posts:
pasturesnew · 30/09/2009 21:54

Yes of dying and yes of leaving loved ones behind but not death itself I think

Mamazon · 30/09/2009 21:55

im not afriad of death. but i am terrified of leaving my children.

nevergoogledragonbutter · 30/09/2009 22:05

I spoke to a 101 year old woman today who is really looking forward to it.

ABetaDad · 30/09/2009 22:05

Not of death myself but afraid of dying while leaving my young DSs and DW alone. I also fear the death of my DW and DSs and leaving me alone.

Had a chat with a vicar friend about this recently. He said that for many old people or people who are very very ill death is a blessing and he often feels they reach a peace just before death with no fear.

cornsilk · 30/09/2009 22:07

I used to be really scared of it but not now. Scared of leaving ds's.

Portofino · 30/09/2009 22:14

I used to be - used have panic attacks about the eternal nothingness. This still worries a little if i think of it. But at the mo, I agree with everyone else. I can't bear the thought of leaving dd and dh alone!

My mum died aged 21 when i was 4 so I guess that doesn't help. It was hard when dd reached that age. But mostly, the thought of that drives me on. You really need to make the most of everything. Don't put up with other people making your life crap. It is too short. Carpe diem!

Dumbledoresgirl · 30/09/2009 22:19

I'm scared of dying, sure. I think it is mainly the pain of dying that frightens me the most.

I was once seriously ill and had a major life saving operation but was quite ill for some time afterwards and that experience temporarily taught me that when you are seriously ill you aren't necessarily all that aware of the pain and the suffering of your loved ones and I certainly didn't spend any time thinking how awful it was that my life was maybe ending tragically early. The inner calm I felt encouraged me later when I was better that the end, when it came, would not be frightening. But then time passed and I have forgotten how that felt and am back to being fearful.

I have severe doubts that there is an afterlife but oblivion does not worry me, just the pain of dying.

deleting · 30/09/2009 22:21

Just wouldn't want it to be a long drawn out, painful process. Mostly though it would just be really sad if I was still relatively young and didn't get to see dcs grown up and having their own families. If I's 'had a good innings', I don't think I'd be scared.

Goober · 30/09/2009 22:23

No.
Am more afraid of hanging in there til I'm 193.

alwayslookingforanswers · 30/09/2009 22:33

I used to be worried about death (you know actually feeling that you're dying) but recent events have changed that.

Ivykaty44 · 30/09/2009 22:38

Not the dying but the possible illness before for all to suffer

hobbgoblin · 30/09/2009 22:40

Ooooooh, yes. And no.

I have felt suicidal before, I had a very good friend who committed suicide...death from such an angle has been much covered by me. Therefore, I can say that I am not afraid of the actual dying but I am of being dead. I fear for what life might be like for the DC if I were not here. I am PETRIFIED of any of them dying.

I don't believe anything happens after death. That's it as far as I'm concerned. Nevertheless I do fret about the maggots that will eat me.

The unknown is a little worrying but am fairly certain that the end is the end and without a working brain it makes little difference what the chuff is going on afterwards.

Getting old is much more scary. Weeing oneself or being senile and confused about who people are. Losing independence. Death has got to seem attractive at that point. But then, there is the children issue once again, which is probably why a lot of people put up with incontinence and imobility just for one more day with the DC.

Georgimama · 30/09/2009 22:43

Wasn't afraid until I had DS. Still not really afraid for myself but terrified of leaving him motherless too young. And then I think, what is too young? If my mum died tomorrow (I'm nearly 31) I'd think myself much too young.

Before DS was born I had a horrible riding accident and although I didn't nearly die as such, I was on a lot of morphine for a few days and felt that I was on the cusp. Wasn't scary at all. Felt peaceful and quite easy to slip over the edge.

jemart · 30/09/2009 23:06

I'm still very scared by the prospect of death, I go cold at the thought of all the eternal nothingness. I desperately want to believe there could be an afterlife but am not yet convinced enough to feel calm about dying.

DuelingFanjo · 30/09/2009 23:07

I am scared of other people dying. My own death means nothing really. Having lost my dad suddenly and without warning I have a constant fear I will lose other people I am close to.

Georgimama · 30/09/2009 23:08

Well I have to say I didn't have any prescience of heavenly choirs (and I am a Christian). I thought I was going to quietness. It was rather nice, honestly. Perhaps the quietness and the heavenly choirs are about the same.

Ivykaty44 · 30/09/2009 23:25

I don't think there is anything - but the end.

Much as it would be lovely fairy tail to beleive in soemthing after in a shape sadley I feel it is but a dream.

It is interesting to see others dont think there will be anything further either

thell · 30/09/2009 23:33

I felt quite sensible about the whole thing, then having DD made me suddenly painfully aware of our mortality and the fragility of life.
Became terrified of DD dying, DH, scared for elderly in-laws, etc. It's toned down a bit now, but I am still a bit scared of suddenly being nothing...and of my life zipping away before my eyes and not making the most of it.
I reemeber looking down at DD, aged a few weeks, and crying because she would 'soon' be an old woman and die (?!)...and sad at the thought that I won't get to watch her shape her whole life ('but I won't know if she'll become a lovely grandmother!')
Is that really too weird?? I don't think about that much now

EightiesChick · 30/09/2009 23:39

Yes. Terrified. Like Portofino says, it's the thought of eternal nothingness.

SolidGoldBrass · 30/09/2009 23:45

Not scared of being dead in the least. Nothingness is nothing to be scared of. If I worry about dying it's just that I don't fancy the idea of it hurting. And I would be sad to leave the people I love, and sorry for DS who would miss me dreadfully.

pipsqueak · 01/10/2009 00:05

crap myself thinking about it - scared of everything about it - the actual dying bit , that i wont exist afterwards ( i so wish i had some form of faith ) and leaving my babies even when they are grown up . i can work myself into a panic attack quite easily if i think about it so i jsut try to ignore it but sometimes i wake up sweating because i rememeber i am going to die . i was fine ti l i lost a friend suddenly at a young age and now i am on the verge of needing counselling i think to get this back in proportion - after all there is nothing i can do about it

juneybean · 01/10/2009 00:09

I'm immensley scared of death, so much so I can have a panic attack if I give it alot of thought.

I guess its the fear of the unknown, I sometimes am so scared of death that I don't want to start my own family incase I have to die and leave them.

So I do find myself stuck in a rut with it.

I also fear my mother dying, and how I would cope without her.

pipsqueak · 01/10/2009 00:10

juneybean - glad its not just me

hmc · 01/10/2009 00:17

Not afraid exactly - more sort of in denial. I am completely convinced of my own immortality; however improbable.

I am pathologically fearful about something happening to the dc though [unhinged emoticon]

zazen · 01/10/2009 00:20

I've nearly died, a few times, and it was a bit ooohh eeerrrgh for the first bit! but after that you just know that you have to get on with it, and you concentrate, if that makes any sense so no, I'm not afraid of dying, but would like to live a long time, as I think (?) I'm getting wiser and would like to continue in this life, but who knows how long our strands are - I'm sure we all think death is years ahead of us, not tonight anyway.

I've seen a lot of dead people in my life - we were brought to a lot of wakes and funerals as children, and I've seen a few family members actually die: some died suddenly and not very well IYKWIM and some had really lovely deaths, with amazing grace.

As a Buddhist, I meditate on Death, Bardo the transitional state, and Phowa the mindstream transference quite a lot, but all that aside, I want to live as full and as beneficial a life as I possibly can right now.