Change of worship style at church

[IndigoIris]

I've been attending my local church for about 6 years and have really enjoyed going there each Sunday. The services were quite traditional - mainly hymns with an occasional worship song, readings, prayers and a sermon. I liked the quietness of the service and nearly always came away with something to think about that would help me during the week

The leadership has now changed and the style of the services has altered considerably. The hymns have been replaced with very lively worship songs (which I don't know) led by a worship band and there are elements of worship which I don't feel comfortable with. These include turning to the person you're sat next to and praying for them and the microphone being passed around so that you can share your testimony.

I didn't go last week because I had felt very uncomfortable the week before as I hadn't known how to join in an activity when we were split into groups for a discussion. But I missed going and my Sunday felt very empty

Part of me feels that I am wrong to feel like this as the congregation has increased in size and everyone else seems to enjoy the more lively style of worship. Everyone is very welcoming and friendly but I just don't feel that I fit in any more as I just want to go and sit quietly and take in what is being said but everything that happens there now is about "sharing your faith"

I'm very limited in choosing a church due to the area I live in and lack of transport. I just wondered in anyone had had a similar experience - if so, how did you deal with it?

I would also be very grateful if anyone could give me advice on handling the 'interactive' elements of church as I really don't think I can travel to another church but would miss going

Many thanks in advance for any replies

Our welcoming priest has set us an autumn mission of donating nice (new) warm pyjamas, dressing gowns, and hoodies for women and children. He will hand over to the regional women's refuge in October. If it's anything like his collections of toys at Christmas and chocolate eggs at - you've guessed it - Easter he'll have to hire a van to deliver them (he has three churches).

A couple of open air services over the summer - one a Mass, one prayers and scripture readings - at Holy wells in remote spots sheltered by trees were special and very well attended - as was the dawn Mass in an ancient country graveyard on Easter Sunday.

@LeontineFrance

I would give the Methodists a try - I have found their community outreach extremely good. They helped both my elderly parents incredibly, and me too. I always respect people whose actions mirror their words.

But again, some of them have 'fallen' and I would be very put off by guitars and clapping, and I need traditional hymns - and at least some intellectual depth in the sermon- so it's a bit of a lucky dip. It really shouldn't be.

@DeanElderberry a dawn mass in an ancient graveyard sounds fabulous. I bet that was one of those 'thin places'.

*spaces

Thin spaces are special- and particularly when appreciated with others.

Churches don’t seem like that to me- more of a hub for congregation, teaching and work than a space for slipping through.

Totally - the birds starting to sing as the dawn begins, seeing the shapes of people emerge from the darkness and the bats come home to the old stone walls, and hearing those words about the women going to the graveyard early in the morning and finding the grave empty, as we stand beside the graves of people we knew and lost and of their ancestors. Nothing quite like it.

That gives me goosebumps @DeanElderberry

This resonates with me hugely. My church is Church of Scotland but is becoming increasingly happy clappy, and it’s awful.

Jokes, cartoon slides and pop culture references also take up the vast majority of the service each week, where the minister will ask silly questions and we’re supposed to shout out the answer like a pantomime. Most of the congregation (older) seem to like it though, so I’m (early 30s) an outlier. I just really struggle to connect; there’s no sense of sanctity or holiness, or even depth. It feels so hollow.

And I’d question if this style of worship will really get bums on pews. In my experience, those who begin to explore faith as an adult do so because their looking for something meaningful, not wishy washy sing-songs.

I’m very drawn to Orthodoxy but there’s not a church anywhere near me, unfortunately.

Thank you @DeanElderberry . What beautiful pictures you paint.

That graveyard Easter Sunday dawn mass was done for the first time in 2000 as a Jubilee Year one-off. Except it instantly became a must, and has happened every year since (it only rained once). It's usually attended by about 100 people - many of whom were also in the congregation at the evening Mass in one of the churches on Saturday, lighting the Paschal flame, blessing the candle and the holy water for use throughout the next year. Probably with no hymns at all.

I think many people like the predictability of tradition and repetition, and find it comforting. The prayers and liturgy we know, familiar scripture readings - everything in our lives changes all the time, that remains constant.

Or changes in response to obvious events - I started praying the old Guardian angel prayer during those first scary weeks of Covid, and was interested when we started coming back together again after the lockdown, to find most priests are now incorporating into the mass - I wasn't the only one who wanted a bit of protection.

Whether you stay or not the important thing, as the most important is to keep your faith. In a sense the type of service is style over substance, and it is the substance that is the only really vital thing. Having said that the worship community or "body" of the church is something we need too.
I really would speak to your church minister and say that you need a more reflective, quieter way of sharing your faith and worshipping God, and ask if the church could do that kind of service as well as the active ones. If they won't accommodate that need, you could go to another church, but do tell your current one why you feel the need to look elsewhere. Your spiritual needs are as important as everyone else's, so they should try to help.

I’m so sorry you feel like this. I’m an evangelical in my theology but am an introvert by personality and would find this uncomfortable too so you’re not alone. As you have said it would be very stressful to try to find another church I would just be bold and stick to your position of keeping quiet in the interactive parts. If anyone asks just say that you aren’t comfortable sharing. They will soon get the message and if they have any emotional intelligence will leave you alone. Churches are made up of all kinds of people and we are called to love every member and value every member’s gifts, whether they are the worship leader, the person who makes the coffee or even the person who just quietly sits and prays for those around them. Please don’t be discouraged - there is a place for you.