Need some Christian advice please - warning controversial!

[mumclaire]

Never posted on this topic before but really need some advice with an issue dh and I are really struggling with. Know this is a sensitive topic and don't want to insult or upset anyone but we are genuinely struggling with this whether you agree with us or not...

DH and I are evangelical christians who believe that to be a practicing homosexual is a sin. However, we try very hard to 'love the sinner and hate the sin' IYKWIM. Thing is my SIL came out of the closet a couple of years ago and has now found a partner who she wants to form a civil partnership with. We have NEVER condemed or even commented on her feelings or her relationships. DH doesn't have a close relationship with his sis but still obviously cares deeply for her. We have met her partner a couple of times and made sure to include her at xmas etc. We really have tried to be as supportive as we can without condoning the relationship as we feel it is wrong.

Now we are faced with this civil partnership issue something we strongly disagree with. We would never do anything as drastic as trying to stop the ceremony - as they are adults and have made their choice. However we can't help feeling that if we attend the ceremony we will be openly agreeing with and blessing their relationship (which we don't). But we are stuck that if we don't go we really upset SIL and possibly destroy our relationship with her (and possibly upset MIL as well - but more concerned with SIL).

So we are stuck between family and belief both of which are very important to us.
Any advice would be gratefully received. Sorry for long post!

My brain is so niggled as to have occluded the capacity for coherent sentence construction - sorry about my first para in the last post!

Which is another way of saying "sod the petty stuff and just enjoy spending time with good people who love you".

Ah, Jed Bartlett. A good Catholic...

Blu, no I know, like I say, I'm a little pugnacious today, ignore me

SKerryMum, well, since you ask, it's usually in the context of a systematic theology which takes context into account, and whether or not some has been abbrogated in the new testament.

Isn't there a case for saying "that was then, this is now" with the Bible then, SB?

The New Testament was still written Quite Some Time Ago.

Sure there is, hunker. It's not like Christians were sort of absent-mindedly going along to church and then someone came and pointed out the stuff about shellfish.

Believe it or not, there are some reasonably intelligent people in the past few centuries who have addressed these issues diligently and still remained believing Christians.

The basis of the arguments isn't 'the OT was written much longer ago', though.

So isn't there a case for not judging the partnership described in the OP as harshly as the OP would clearly like to?

I must confess I don't feel the religion urge. I do wonder what it would be like to believe so strongly in something - I have a philosophy degree and some of my liveliest pub conversations were with theology students

well I was brought up as a Christian and went to church every Sunday for about fifteen years so I think I am pretty well qualified but I can get a note from my vicar if you like .
I don't honestly think that it is terribly helpful to say - I only want to hear from other Christians, so if you're not butt out. (And as it happens the OP was quite happy to hear from others.)
I think it helps to hear from other sides and from other beliefs and it doesn't help to have a closed mind about things tbh. IT is not only the devoutly religious who can understand about having your beliefs compromised, feeling hypocritical etc.
and yes this is absolutely still a Christian country - Bishops in the House of Lords, compulsory worship, faith schools.... some people may wish it wasn't, but it is.

I would support your SIL

(am a lapsed Catholic btw)

harpsi, I didn't mean that non-christians shouldn't comment. It would be a bit silly to post on MN if that was what someone wanted, there are plenty of Christian forums out there. I was just talking about the 'christianity is about such and such' stuff. Anyway, it was a silly comment and I repent in dust and ashes for being so antagonistic anyway.

Hunker, well, not from an evangelical pov on the bible, no. There are plenty of other christian povs, of course, but the OP said she was an evangelical, so I would have said that was the relevant point.

I went to church every Sunday (twice some Sundays) when I was younger - yes, probably for a good ten years.

Is completely resigned to being pummeled with the religious credentials of all and sundry, having richly deserved it

Was more amazed I'd been for that long than pummelling you, Sue.

SKerrymum, yes, there's a belief about what constitutes the fundamentals, of course, which is why Christians tend to use labels to sort of define what they believe the fundamentals are.

hunker

just would like to say (haven't read all posts - sorry) that my minister (methodist) researched the bible and he said that no-where in it does the bible condem homosexuality.

that went down well NOT with all the afro-carribean parisoners, and with theirs kids in the front row

celebrate the love. just because it's not the way you would do it, surely you can be happy for them?

(runs and hides)

Blu, I can't see that doing anything other than exploding all over the place, tbh, whatever Rowan Williams does.

Casbie - I was brought up as a Methodist.

Sue - what would explode?..oh, sorry, you mean the whole global split thing? well, yes, quite, which is why RW should, in my humble and non-Christian opinion, should stop embarrassing those of us who have to live in this Christian country and stop trying to blackmail the Americans, and sucking up to the churches which, like many others, have a cultural as well as supposedly religious objection to homosexuality, and which some might call bigotry and discrimination!

But...a different thread altogethr, probably!

I don't think there's anything wrong with those of us with perspectives other than Christian popping our heathen noses in here and offering our opinions.

After all, although I'm no longer a Christian, I still believe Jesus was a historical figure and that the advice he gave is often sound enough (I just don't believe it to be divinely-inspired, or indeed believe in any such thing as "the divine"). "Atheists For Jesus!" as Richard Dawkins says...

Whether we are a Christian country is an interesting debate. I suppose I am put off what could otherwise be quite a reasonable remark by the fact that my mother says it. (Be honest - you would too. ) She uses it to justify all her anti-Muslim, anti-immgration rants. I suppose that, insofar as this country is influenced by the religion of any one religion, it's going to be Christian. As harspichord points out, there are institutions whose existence we cannot deny, much as we would rather they weren't there.

How far the country is actively rather than passively Christian is another thing entirely. About as many people go to church as go to football, if that's meaningful. (1-2 million.) That's about 4% of the population, rounding up generously. And yet 70% put "C of E" or "Christian" on the census. As our chums across the pond say - "go figure".

Sorry to OP for the sort-of-sidetrack.

"the religion of any one religion?"... Bleurgh. You know what I mean. Often I post on here in English...