If you're religious, how do you explain 'bad things happening to good people'?

[PinkPugInShades]

Not in anyway intending to be goady but I'm really curious about this subject at the moment.

I was brought up in the church of England and my family are still religious. I stopped when I was a teen and haven't been back since but it's still always there in the background so I wouldn't even kno what I believed anymore.

I've suffered a lot recently. Pregnancy loss at varying stages and am in a lot of pain.

I realise I'm probably looking for someone/something to blame but I feel such a hatred for 'god' if he's out there at the moment that I find myself screaming at him sometimes when I'm alone.

If you believe, why would he let this happen? I'm sick of hearing that it's his plan for me. Why would he want this to be my plan?

I'm not christian, but I do believe in God. I believe it is ok to wobble in faith. During hard times and bad. God hasn't promised anyone life of bliss on this earth. That is for the next world. As a Muslim I believe this world is a prison for thoes that believe. Bad thing's do happen to good people, the worst things happend to God prophets. Who would be getting the biggest rewards in the next life? Gods prophets. So bad things happening to good people is not something new, it has happened before and it will happen again.

Crying to God and asking for help/ temporarily relief is a good thing. I'm hope God helps you with your anger and pain soon.

The bible tells us the devil rules the earth and roams around like a roaring lion. He was the one who offered the world to Jesus if he just did one act of worship to him. He has authority over the earth.

The bible also tells us nothing bad can come from God.

Things go wrong for many reasons. Chance, accident, wrong choices, actions of others, but none are due to God.

I used to be religious but I'm not now. The answer would've been the same: because it's nothing to do with God. Bad things are to do with biology and men's free will.

Similar to what a few posters have said, there is no good answer. I'm also an atheist having grown up in a religious (Catholic) household. I can't help thinking that if God does exist, he has a very cruel streak. Also if he exists, why doesn't he make himself known? Why expect people to have blind faith, against all evidence, and then punish them for not believing? It makes no sense to me, so therefore I don't believe.

I'm very sorry for what you're going through, and I hope you're getting support.

Sympathies OP.

I have the same question. Brought up Christian, was very active. But soooo much awfulness has happened in our family over the last 10 years...

I find it very much harder to have a faith.

Couple of things that have stuck with me: We live in an enormously complex, world and environment. It can't be as it is without things like earthquakes and diseases. The earth is rich with resources, unfortunately because of the nature of (some) humans, past history (eg slavery, colonialisation) geography, the wealth is not shared equally and many in challenging environments struggle.

I do sometimes believe that God is with me as a support. But I have cried out in pain to him many times and felt unheard.

RandomFactor Well said

I can't answer anything on the religion front because I don't follow any religion.
However I can identify with your pain of loss and emptiness and wanting a baby.. I saw a quote once that said
"the strongest women become the strongest mothers before their children are even conceived"
I know the feeling of guilt, not being good enough and why me is consuming.. you'll never have an answer to those questions.. I battled infertility for 5 years.. what I will say is don't blame yourself, don't give up and I promise when your time comes the feeling is worth every single second of all the pain you've felt along the way.
Don't try and be strong.. cry and shout as much as you need!! X

I am a Christian, but to address your specific situation it is important not to set up a grief olympics. Miscarriage and pregnancy loss is very sad and emotionally challenging. But are there people who genuinely go through life with no hardships, no pain, no disappointments? Part of life is dealing with bad things, and they happen to everyone.

To me Christian faith is about how we respond to the challenges in life and the source of our strength in those moments. Not turning to anger or bitterness but trying to see the good in every situation. So much human conflict comes from people lashing out when they’re hurt.

"The good I'm every situation"? About a fucking miscarriage?

It's bad enough when bad things happen to good people but even more inexplicable is when good things happen to bad people !

The Christian moral code says that you could be an evil murderous paedophile but as long as you ask for forgiveness and take jebus into your heart you will be welcome in heaven ! Any Christians care to comment on that shit ? Looking forward to eternity with Harold Shipman and Jimmy Savile ?

god was invented to control and frighten ! Belief brings comfort in the same way as little children need to believe that their parents are strong and safe but honestly as an adult it is so freeing not to have to go through the mental gymnastics every time something bad happens ! Life can be shit so look for the good in people, try to enjoy the little things and generally I find if you treat others the way you would like to be treated and enjoy making people happy then what goes around comes around and you will be happier too !

@Epaaj a friend of mine miscarried a much wanted baby. She and her husband have taken the opportunity to go on a holiday they didn’t think they’d have been able to do with a baby. Yes it’s painful but they are trying to have a positive attitude. And we as friends are supporting her. I’m sure you’ll be rolling your eyes but that’s an example.

So it's okay if you miscarry, god caused it to happen so you could go on holiday.

We don't know who will or will not be saved.
We don't know if, when a murderer repents they mean it or not.
We can't say because you believe in JC you will be saved.
It is for God to decide a persons worth in their heart.
We may be rotten on the inside but outwardly look great to the world.

Faith without action is death so more than just believing must be needed?

God doesn't cause bad things to happen to people.
He doesn't cause the drunk driver to crash into a crowd of people.
He doesn't cause greed so buildings collapse due to substandard materials.
He does not control nature.

He gives man free will so when we steal, kill, make immoral decisions etc that is our choice and sadly so are the repercussions others may experience.

Cabbageking has got it.
@OP
"I've yet to find a good explanation as to why God allows it to happen. He brings me no peace, comfort or anything. I'm not saying he has to give me a baby. But mentally, I feel no calmness, no care, no love."

God gave free will to man and as a result there are repercussions.
Everything is a test in Christianity.
You are being tested.
The reward for passing the test in Christianity means that your soul is saved and will get to experience heaven and how things should be if everything was to become perfect upon Christ's return to earth and following the destruction of the current earth through fire and other horrible events.
To pass the test is not easy.
Not only do you have to believe in Christ's resurrection whole heartedly but you have to actively try to practice what he taught.
Horrible things may happen to you, tempt you or try to make you stray from belief and practice.

To get the mental peace, calmness and love you so desire you have to actively give to receive. It's awful what you've gone through and you're right to feel as if it's owed to you, however this is the test of character as it were, even if you feel you have none of what you so desire, to give it away when it is so valuable to you is the essence of Christ's teaching and you will in turn experience what you want threefold and more.

By doing these good things for others you will meet other people and they will notice you and help you to also feel better, to may not even need them to reciprocate it even as the feelings will come naturally.

Right. So most of us are going to burn in Hell for all eternity.

Even people who've, say, buried a child. A baby who died in its sleep, or a child lost to leukaemia (i.e. a death that is entirely undeserved).

If they don't 'pass the test' and 'believe', that's where they will end up.

Lovely.

I’m so sorry for your pain and your losses OP

@EdtheBear I’m sure you meant that kindly but please never say it to anyone who’s had a miscarriage. It’s profoundly hurtful and unhelpful to be told there was something wrong with your baby or that it wasn’t “meant to be”. As it happens, we make perfect babies and the reason for my multiple losses was me. Thankfully circumvented with a bucket load of drugs and a fantastic doctor but it’s something I’ll live with forever that we’re able to conceive and then without substantial medical intervention my body fails them. You never know what’s going on in people’s lives so it’s best to steer clear of platitudes in case you add insult to injury.

My slightly batty new age SIL tried to tell me the body causes the baby to miscarry as a way of ridding the woman of toxins and the more miscarriages you have the more toxins you had but the cleaner your system becomes till you’re able to sustain a pregnancy. Utter insanity bless her.

OP, I’m not a believer in much and I ranted and raved at the night sky to anything that might be out there and then sought calm in nature and with loved ones. My mum is and she was so angry about one of my MCs she stopped going to church for a while. She found her way back and we had prayers from her church friends for years plus some holy oil someone brought us from a fertility boosting saint’s mountain somewhere. We took it as good will from kind people in the spirit in which it was intended.

With no god in my life I never felt like he had deserted me but I know well the feeling of blind rage at the universe and it’s better out than in so do whatever helps.

Wishing you happier times

@Varric that’s so clearly not what I said.

Miscarriage happens. It’s a not uncommon biological process. It also causes sadness and pain for many. But for some people a healthy pregnancy is also a source of sadness because they’re not in a good place in their lives. To me it’s sort of like - we wouldn’t be humans if we didn’t have bodies that have problems, we’d be robots or something.

What Christianity offers is a source of comfort in hard times. It is not a direct line to a magical genie who grants all of our wishes.

Or let me put it a different way. Without God or faith - does the miscarriage still happen? How does raging at God solve the problem of the pain of pregnancy loss?

What Christianity offers is a source of comfort in hard times.

But how does it do that, if it punishes you with the threat of Hell for not behaving, and 'passing the test'?

I'm not religious but what makes you think that these people are good? A lot of the times they are really not that good and think they are.
It also all depends on your mindset. You need to look at life more positively rather than always think it's a "bad" thing happening.

Before we are born our spirit was not assigned to any religion. You are spiritual with or without religion so this really has nothing to do with man made organisations aka religion.

But how does it do that, if it punishes you with the threat of Hell for not behaving, and 'passing the test'?

Christian faith is a comfort to believers obviously!

Non-believers don't believe in Hell or God so the concept of any punishment in that framework shouldn't have any meaning to them. I do not worry that a Hindu thinks if I do certain actions I will be reincarnated as a member of a low caste in my next life, for example.

I lost my daughter to cancer when she was 6. Spending years on a paediatric oncology ward, tests your faith sorely.

I met mum with a 3 month old, with terminal brain cancer. That baby was born distressed and he died distressed. I've never heard crying like it.

My daughter was the most gentle child. Nobody could've prayed harder than I did. She didn't sin, maybe I did, but she deserved better. All those children did.

I'm so sorry Seahorseshoe.

It's blind faith innit.

I still have mine, I haven't not suffered my baby dies in neonatal after being born at 24 weeks. I'd lost an 18 weeker before that.

I didnt step foot in a church for years.

There's that footprints in the sand poem I quite like.

"When there was one set of footprints that is when I carried you" it was my Aunty nans favourite poem and gave her peace in her dying days.

I have to believe someone or else im never going to see my sons again and I just can't bear the though

God was created by man..... explains it all really.