If you're religious, how do you explain 'bad things happening to good people'?

[PinkPugInShades]

Not in anyway intending to be goady but I'm really curious about this subject at the moment.

I was brought up in the church of England and my family are still religious. I stopped when I was a teen and haven't been back since but it's still always there in the background so I wouldn't even kno what I believed anymore.

I've suffered a lot recently. Pregnancy loss at varying stages and am in a lot of pain.

I realise I'm probably looking for someone/something to blame but I feel such a hatred for 'god' if he's out there at the moment that I find myself screaming at him sometimes when I'm alone.

If you believe, why would he let this happen? I'm sick of hearing that it's his plan for me. Why would he want this to be my plan?

For me I think it’s because there has to be a degree of unpredictability to this world and universe. Total predictably and the universe couldn’t function. Therefore bad things can happen to anyone/thing. You could argue that heaven was designed to be completely predictable ( predictably nice ) and that’s where the good people go.

I've always accepted that there will be problems in life. We live in an imperfect world and nobody is perfect, so bad things happen. Most people are ill at some stage and will eventually die. Some suffer bereavement and heartache of some kind.

How we deal with our difficulties is quite telling. It's my belief that God will help us to bear pain and we learn from it, making us more compassionate to others.

Indeed, some might argue that God could make everything here on earth perfect but then we wouldn't be us, we would be clone like. That is too difficult an idea to really contemplate. I like the world as it is with all its faults.

I've certainly been helped through hard times and, though I would never want to go through the same again, I'm certainly a wiser and better person for it.

@Rachelover60 Lovely post. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Rachelover60

While challenges are no doubt character building, why does god allow so much pain and suffering?
Children dying because of no clean water, cholera, starvation.

I hear that god is omnipotent. If that is the case is he simply mean?

We don't live in a perfect world, speakout. Bad things happen. I believe God will help us bear them if we are receptive to him/her.

Lots of very good things happen too. Life is a mixture.

I believe God will help us bear them if we are receptive to him/her.

How will that help a toddler dying of cholera?

Mental gymnastics plus a dose of delusion should do the trick.

Speakout that is the nature of the world. Full of extremes . With intense pain there is also intense pleasure.

I think the issue is the modern Christian view is that God is simply a God of love which obviously doesn’t fit the reality of the world. Earlier Christians had no problem excepting the idea of a God that was also vengeful.
In Islam there are 99 names for God and not one of them means love. I think the concept of God is much easier from the Muslim perspective. Telling a dying toddler that they will soon be going to heaven and God will take the pain away would probably help the child at least psychological. I’ve never been in that situation fortunately though.
We know religion does help people live longer.

There are many names for God in Christianity too. One of my favourites is El Shaddai.

The expression, "God fearing", is not heard much nowadays but it means being in awe of the creator.

I find this video by Fr Mike Schmitz good - why does God let bad things happen?

Hope link works: <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D0NOTU1g0Z8w&ved=2ahUKEwjAiuaogPnkAhXbVxUIHUpdDCwQwqsBMAB6BAgBEAQ&usg=AOvVaw3_IaKVSYUAlPIqc8fa5dOA" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D0NOTU1g0Z8w&ved=2ahUKEwjAiuaogPnkAhXbVxUIHUpdDCwQwqsBMAB6BAgBEAQ&usg=AOvVaw3_IaKVSYUAlPIqc8fa5dOA

The expression, "God fearing", is not heard much nowadays but it means being in awe of the creator.

No it doesn't. It means in fear of the creator.

Lifecraft, who made you the dictionary?

I’m afraid that after having had two stillborn babies and one who lived for just a few days, I’m with the OP.

It’s actually much more comforting to think these acts were just part of life (which isn’t fair) than to believe in any god(s) who see bad happening and do nothing to prevent it. No prayers saved my babies..

Mental gymnastics and underthinking, OP. Sorry you’re having a hard time. What you’re feeling is perfectly reasonable — take your pick. God is either evil, incompetent, indifferent, or imaginary.

I don't think God chooses to send this stuff to people.

God is omnipotent and created everything, right? Obviously some disasters and bad things happen as a direct result of human behaviour. But presumably everything else is directly down to god - he created the viruses and the natural disasters, and of course he created humans with the potential to do terrible things. And as he's omnipotent, he is capable of stopping bad things from happening to good people and innocent babies and children, but he doesn't. No we don't live in a perfect world- whose fault is that, if not the being who created it?
What kind of psycho would think "I know - I'll create some creatures with massive flaws and a world full of things that have the potential to kill them in a variety of nasty ways, let them loose, see what carnage ensues, then blame them for the mess I created, and damn them to eternal hellfire if they don't love me?

Fortunately, god doesn't exist, so none of that is true.

I don't know that this is much help Op but my mum would put stuff like that down to 'natures way of dealing with a baby who's not developing property'.

Maybe it helps to have faith that those tiny wee souls are safe in heaven and you'll be reunited with them one day.

Big hugs

I'm a pagan so I'm not coming at this from a Christian/other mainstream religion point of view. I don't see deity as a being that dishes out rewards or punishments, it's just the way the energy of the universe is and the effects that it has. And where humans are involved, it's our free will that causes events rather than any deity 'controlling' what we do.

To me prayers, magic etc are a request to try and influence how things will happen but it doesn't mean it will be so. Again, I don't see deity as a being that decides whether or not to grant wishes.

I think it's a matter of how you frame it really.
When bad things happen I think about the people who helped me through and the experiences that it gave me and how it made me more understanding to others , more grateful for what I do have. Which is a fucking tall order in the middle of it, and I don't know many people religious or otherwise who don't get angry when people die, when bad things happen to them or people they love. Even people who claim to be non religious in those moments can shout at the sky "God if you're up there I hate you right now for doing that"

But choosing to stay angry? That's where faith comes in. You say something like "I don't understand why you've done this, and I hated you when you did, but please help me to turn this into a blessing. Please help me to help somebody else. Please help me to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else. Please help me to stop being angry, and find you again God. Please help me to stop being angry at you for making me sick or taking away the person I love, and instead be grateful for getting better and for having had them in my life. Thank you for not deserting me when I was angry and thought that I hated you, and for reminding me that I am human, vulnerable, emotional, filled with anger and pain some times, but also with the capacity for the greatest love and joy. And thank you for getting me through that without becoming an angry and resentful person, but finding in your Grace the strength to carry on."

Last year when I was going through a dreadful time. a friend bought me a book called ‘when bad things happen to good people’ by Harold Kushner. Who is a conservative Rabbi who wrote the book after his 14 year old son died. It challenges the omnipotence of God but I found it particularly helpful in aligning my faith with the heartbreak I was feeling. The line I like the best was Human beings are gods language- when you cry out to God he sends you people. Whether they are the people who practically help you drs etc or family, friends, or strangers that care for you in little ways.
I found this to be so true in my case. The book itself challenges a lot of religious doctrine but for me it made a lot of sense and help me dissipate some of that ‘why me, it’s not fair’ feelings. I really recommend it.

OP I'm not sure of the answer but have often thought about this, but the only reason I'm responding is your description of the pain you are suffering. I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through

I will pray for you to find peace OP and for you to be able to feel God in your life. I promise he is there.

OP, I am sorry that life has been hard. One of the difficulties in talking about faith is that you do not really understand it until you genuinely get a desire to try and understand it. As a non Christian looking in it all seems mad and yet to me it makes sense as a Christian. You have to start with Jesus. He was a man who suffered like no other. He grew up in poverty and was homeless in adulthood. His disciples have up all they had to follow him. He was hated and loved in equal measure wherever he went and whatever he preached. There were plotted to kill him for most of his ministry. And yet he was full of compassion and wanted to spend time with those that no one liked. The disabled, prostitutes,tax collectors, women, children, widows etc. Jesus came to show us face to face what Gods love looks like. He preached blessed are the poor in spirit, the
meek,peacemakers,those who mourn, the merciful, those who are persecuted.
You would not think many of those things would bring you blessing s but Jesus said they would(Matthew 5) And ultimately he was murdered for his counter cultural, anti established hypocritical religious beliefs. Jesus did not promise any of his followers an easy life so I have never expected this. Jesus told his followers they would have to deny themselves and pick up their cross to follow him.
Pain is horrendous especially emotional pain, but in itself provides an opportunity for us to be supported,loved and cared for by others, which in itself is precious. I experienced losing/miscarrying 2 babies but when I imagine being in heaven for eternity, those 2 previous babies are with me. I see most of the world's pain as caused by man and it saddens me when God gets the blame. The world has enough food but because of our greed, children starve, because of greed, countries are at war and people die as a result. Many illnesses are caused by lifestyle or pollution.
I cannot explain it all and if I fully understood God, I would be God, but I do know and experience his deep love for me and it really does carry me through the hardest of life events. Maybe read one of the gospels about Jesus and ask God to fill you with His love and peace and see what happens. I will pray for you and hope you find the ' peace that passeth understanding' xx

What a perfect explanation.

OP, I am sorry for the hardship you have been through, abd are still going through. The fact these things have happened and that God brings you 'no peace, comfort or anything' is most easily explained by assuming that God does not exist.

I honestly think that people who have come to terms with this explanation are much more at peace. Bad things happen to good people for no reason except bad luck, in some form or another. Life has no hidden purpose or greater meaning, it just is what it is. That's not to say you shouldn't attach your own personal meaning to your life, and try to do good and enjoy yourself, help others etc. Of course you should - your'e here for a finite period, you might as well make the best of it.

For billions of years you didn't exist. You'll exist for a short period of time, then you'll cease to exist forever, and it'll be just like before you were born - no afterlife, no soul, no consciousness, just... nothing.