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Original poster

All you atheist parents wondering how to broach the religion topic to your kids listen up!

508 replies

Rhubarb · 12/06/2007 12:37

I'm a catholic and I teach my kids about all religions. I explain that some people believe different things and some people don't believe at all. I tell them what the Bible says about creation and what science says.

I tell them what my personal beliefs are but I encourage them to make their own minds up. I answer questions with "well this is what I believe but you might think something different".

I take them to Church and they know about the religion we follow, but I do encourage questions as far as I can bearing in mind their young ages.

So what I say to you is this. Don't put a barrier between yourselves and religion when it comes to your kids. Arm them with information and let them make their own minds up. If you push them a certain way, chances are that they'll reject it later on in life. Whereas if you add your support to whatever they decide to believe or not, it will give them the confidence to choose their own paths.

You may be disappointed in their choices but don't try to influence them too strongly one way or the other.

So says me.

OP posts:
Peachy · 12/06/2007 19:55

DS1 has a book he found in waterstones that just present each religion (ncluding some quite minor pnes suc as jainism) in turn in a reference style format, he likes the imagery I think.

SueBaroo · 12/06/2007 19:59

lol, this thread has ranged abart a bit...

Bouquetsofdynomite · 12/06/2007 21:32

TBH unless you back it up at home (or they go to a boarding school and can't escape it), CofE 'indoctrination' in schools is unlikely to sink in much. What are people afraid is going to happen to their child exactly?

Plus it's hardly at programming at the same intensity as the Reduce Reuse Recycle mantra is it?

harrisey · 12/06/2007 21:46

If you genuinely beleive in your faith, think it is true, rather than one of a range of options, why would you not teach it to your children?

DominiConnor · 12/06/2007 21:47

The RRR stuff is scary, yes.
It's not the message, it's the simplistic chants, and lack of explanation, or what's going on.
DS thinks all animals are about to go extinct, that we should care share (he normally goes by tube), and other dumb stuff.
Soon I expect to hear the "food miles" bollocks.

katelyle · 12/06/2007 22:15

My wonderful 87 year old mother is very keen on talking about the cycle of life with my daughter - you are born, you get old, you die and you go to make new earth to grow flowers. Same goes for Fluffy.

We talk a lot about different beliefs -this is what Mummy believes - or doesn't believe. This is what x person believes. Neither are right or wrong, just different. And it is very important to be careful and respectful of other peoples's beliefs. We also talk about making their minds up when they are older.

And we have a saying we use all the time - and which both dcs quote with us."It's a legend. A legend is soemthing that happened so long ago that nobody really knows whether it's true or not."

harrisey · 12/06/2007 22:24
harrisey · 12/06/2007 22:27

i think people dont like right and wrong these days.

The worst sin you can commit is to be intolerant.

But if I think that what I beleive (or know) is true, why shoudl I not teach my children what I know t be the truth, adn hope they learn to accept it???

nooka · 12/06/2007 22:30

I can't see any dilemna really. And anyway, it's the kids that broach most topics in my house, so me and dh just answer their questions. We also read them lots of stories from different cultures, and dh has read them most of the New Testament. Leads to lots of interesting discussions. ds at eight claims to be an aetheist, whilst dd at 6 thinks she is a Christian. They get plenty of exposure to Christianity from my mother and sister (who has just resigned from being a vicar, and yes I would not be keen on either of my children following her career path, seems to me you get a really poor work life balance, and the pay and benefits aren't great!). School has very strong links with a high church anglican vicar - we're not sure that we are very keen on that, but the school loves him because he can play the piano!

welliemum · 12/06/2007 22:33

That's a good point harrisey and I think this is where religious tolerance can never truly be a 2 way street.

If you're an atheist/agnostic, it's easy to say that whatever people believe is right for them. But if you're religious, by definition you're certain that what you believe is true for you AND for everyone else.

Those 2 world views are pretty much mutually exclusive IMO.

Tinker · 12/06/2007 22:35

Rupert Holmes did the Pina Colada song. Richard Holmes is a Very Serious Historian - although might have been funnier if he had sang it though

katelyle · 12/06/2007 23:12

I think - well, I hope - that if I did have strong beliefs I would still try to be "careful and respectful" of others' beliefs. I am a left wing pacifist, but I do try as hard as I can to listen and try to understand the point of view of right wing militarists (if that's a word!) I absolutely believe them to be wrong, but I do try to understand where they are coming from. Difficult though I find it!

UnquietDad · 12/06/2007 23:44

Thing is, if you're a left-wing pacifist and you're at a dinrner party with a right-wing militarist, you can argue with them. At the end of the day you will have little common ground, but you CAN argue. You will have to agree to disagree, but they have arguments, which you may take issue with, based on evidence, of which you may dispute the veracity, source, weighting etc. And they'll do the same with yours.

Not like atheists arguing with theists, which because of this "faith" thing tends to be like trying to knit fog - and usually just ends up with the atheist being told they are wrong because they are, and going away and seething in the corner and swearing blind never to come to any more dinner parties.

katelyle · 12/06/2007 23:47

Ah! Maybe that's why I never get invited to dinner parties!!!!

welliemum · 12/06/2007 23:50

unquietdad

"knitting fog" sums it up beautifully.

UnquietDad · 12/06/2007 23:51

Well, I was using "dinner party" in a loose sense. I don't really go to them either.

(katelyle, well done for your obstinacy in using your proper name. Not something I'd ever do, but I remember you first coming on here with your reasons for it and swearing you would stick to it - I was sure you'd crack and be FluffyBunny or SpanglyMum or something within a couple of months!)

wrinklytum · 12/06/2007 23:54

Just found this.

DS(3) walking past a churh today-"Why is that man on a cross,Mummy?"(Typical Saggitarian,interested in religion)

Was trying to explain the crucifixion to my 3 year old and realised I had no clue how to do this!!!!

Any tips?

wrinklytum · 12/06/2007 23:55

Church,even

UnquietDad · 12/06/2007 23:56

Reminds me of that girl asking for a crucifix at a trinket stall and wanting "a plain one, not one with a little man on it."

wrinklytum · 12/06/2007 23:56

lol

madamez · 13/06/2007 00:14

Well I'm beginning to think about it as unfortunately 2 of the playgroups I take DS to keep peddling crap at us. I kind of plan to introduce all the mythologies at around the same time, everything from the Tooth Fairy to Jehova by way of Ganesh, Kali, Odin, Zeus and the rest then, gradually, explain that they are all stories, but special stories that mean a lot to some people. And when yo u get older and develop a bit of sense and the ability to reason things out, you realise the stories are just stories, just a way of explaining certain ideas and, OK, some silly people believe that this sort of thing is really true, but never mind, that's their lookout.
And when we die, we become fertiliser.

harrisey · 13/06/2007 06:46

And thats not indoctrination, madamez?

How would you react if your ds did decide to follow a religion?

Pruners · 13/06/2007 07:34

Message withdrawn

madamez · 13/06/2007 08:42

Harrisesy, if he decided to favour one brand of mythology over another I'd treat it with the same sort of affectionate mockery as any other childhood phase: imaginary friends, obsessions with particular TV shows or bands, and wait for it to wear off.

ekra · 13/06/2007 09:24

I am an athiest parent (for want of a better description) and I don't spend my time wondering how to broach the religion topic with my children. Thankfully DD1 (4) goes to a non-denominational nursery and will go to a non-denominational school, so her awareness of religion is subtely developed.

Like most 4 year olds she is full of difficult questions about the greater world about her and I recognise instances when I could more easily answer her questions with a religious stock answer. But I don't.

Of course, if she asks about specific religious references I will answer her questions. But why would I need to divulge religious theories to her now, at such a vulnerable age? Presumably the appropriate cultural and historical knowledge will be gained when she studies RE and history at school.

Do religious people think atheists set aside specific time at home to 'instruct' their children that god is not real?! Being an athiest means we do not feel a need to reference a god or any other mythological belief in our day to day life. Religious discussions might arise when we answer our children's questions as truthfully as we can muster an answer but personally, I regard those as philosophical discussions.

I feel it the most important skill you can impart on your cvhild is critical thinking and philosophy helps with that. My children will learn about the enlightenment and scientific discoveries that have led people away from using god and religion to answer some of the tricky questions. They will understand why a lot of people no longer believe in god or follow a religion.

Will yours?