All you atheist parents wondering how to broach the religion topic to your kids listen up!

[Rhubarb]

I'm a catholic and I teach my kids about all religions. I explain that some people believe different things and some people don't believe at all. I tell them what the Bible says about creation and what science says.

I tell them what my personal beliefs are but I encourage them to make their own minds up. I answer questions with "well this is what I believe but you might think something different".

I take them to Church and they know about the religion we follow, but I do encourage questions as far as I can bearing in mind their young ages.

So what I say to you is this. Don't put a barrier between yourselves and religion when it comes to your kids. Arm them with information and let them make their own minds up. If you push them a certain way, chances are that they'll reject it later on in life. Whereas if you add your support to whatever they decide to believe or not, it will give them the confidence to choose their own paths.

You may be disappointed in their choices but don't try to influence them too strongly one way or the other.

So says me.

[SueBaroo]

Some pagan stories I've read can be quite good on a simple 'becoming part of the earth when we die' sort of thing.

I'm so not wooly here, lol

[Twiglett]

I'm an atheist

I tell my child that 'some believe this / some people that' ..I am forced to this because he comes home full of 'god stories' from his community school. But would probably do so anyway as both DH and I come from religious backgrounds (different ones)

We tell our children that they must make his own mind up

I don't understand your point

I think it is far more likely that a child is indoctrinated INTO a religion than OUT of one

[squidette]

Agree with SueBaroo, my children know i believe we evolved from teeny tiny specks of creature in the oceans and that i am going to be buried in the middle of the woods under a tree when i die. And there i shall stay and will hopefully live on in stories or memories.

They believe different things - as i expect them too - and those things change over time too - as they did for me.

[Rhubarb]

100times, I have my own personal belief that I am definite about. There are some catholic things that I don't agree with however.

I do say that I believe in Heaven yes. And Angels and all the rest of it. But I don't like to believe in something just because I'm told it is so. Which is the old fashioned catholic view. I like to find hard evidence of it being written in the Bible and even then it's open to interpretation.

No-one can be DEFINITE. You have to question things. You have to go back and research. But faith, well that is different, that is something personal to you that you cannot impart to anyone else, it is something they must discover for themselves.

[SueBaroo]

I agree with UQD, but from the other side of the fence. If you believe a certain way - be it in ultra-rational materialism, or a heaven/hell choice, then you have to go with that. I'm not down with the 'anything you want to believe is fine, dear' way of doing it myself.

[Twiglett]

but surely isn't say that 'Jesus said he will return again... well that's what I believe anyway' an indoctrination of a sort

intimating that Jesus existed before and above all

[Rhubarb]

But isn't everything you say to your kids indoctrination then?

Telling them that organic food is best? Or that Fruit Shoots are evil? These are your beliefs. Sure when they are older you can explain why you think Fruit Shoots are so bad for them, but will you really? Or will you let your kid just carry on believing that if he drinks a Fruit Shoot his eyes will pop out and he'll suffer toxic shock syndrome?

[Twiglett]

yes it is but I'm not the one saying I don't indoctrinate my children

I do with every breath I take .. we choose this over that, we do homework, we eat this not that, this is good for you that isn't. You should listen to teachers, you should listen to us

everybody has a belief system

why am I here

[Twiglett]

the last was not meant to sound like existential anxst by the way .. it was a more 'why am I here on this thread' question

[Rhubarb]

No-one says they don't indoctrinate their kids. That would be a lie. We all do whether consciously or not.

But what I steer clear from is hard indoctrination, the kind that was inflicted on me as a kid like "have sex before you are married and the devil will stick pitchforks in both your eyes and out yer bum" - I was amazed when that didn't happen!

In fact it is amazing I am still a catholic given everything that my mother is. Which is where faith comes into it I suppose. But I do want to give my kids a broader view of the world than I ever had. And I want to give them the respect they deserve to trust that they will come to the right decisions, even if they don't fit my own decisions.

[Rhubarb]

I think if you bring your kids up to question whatever they are told, to do their own research as far as possible, then they are less likely to become indoctrinated or go off and live with the cult of naked fishpeople or whatever.

[ahundredtimes]

I'd go for it if I was you Rhubarb, incense and all, will be great fun.

Hmmm. Well seems to be that we all pass on a belief system of sorts, so does our society. So I'm quite big on personal responsibility, kindness, decency etc. But then so's Twig and Rhubarb I reckon. Sigh. We need someone to come along and say they've told their dcs it's all a load of rubbish and they MUST believe in erm. . . Tweenies.

[Rhubarb]

Have a world with my mother ahundredtimes. If you want to see the narrow world of catholicism then she's your best bet!

[ahundredtimes]

[SueBaroo]

Rhubarb, I found the opposite, though. Although my parents had the influence of Catholicism, atheism and judaism (yeah, there's a fun childhood for ya) they did the whole let me grow up and make my own mind up thing. It left me craving some sense of meaning and I fell in with the first loonytunes cult that found me.
I'm of the opinion that it is much easier and safer to reject a faith if you so choose than it is to have nothing to reject and embrace cultic lunacy because the only way you can rebel is to do ultra-conformity.

pauses to see if that sentence made sense

is unsure

[Rhubarb]

My eldest sister came to stay a few weekends ago. I know that she reports back to my mother. So I made out that I read 'The Exorcist' to dd as a bedtime story. Bless dd, she is such a good actress at times like this! She snuggled down on my knee and innocently looked at my sister confirming that this was indeed her bedtime story!

My sister was horrified! I wish I'd been there when she reported back!

[ahundredtimes]

Ah, now Sueb. I was brought up an atheist (though lots of lapsed jews and excommed catholics in my family!) and my BIG rebellion was to get baptised and confirmed at about 15. Ahah I thought, that'll show those liberal secular parents of mine. Rather passed without comment unhappily.

Mind you, this girl at my school was very pleased with my conversion and she took me into the school chapel to hear her speaking in tongues. Was weird.

[Rhubarb]

SueBaroo. I do understand you. I am bringing them up within catholicism in that we do take them to Church. I teach them to pray and we read the Bible. I have a strongish faith and I do discuss Jesus with them. So they are surrounded by religion and faith. But I still want them to be aware of other beliefs. I tell them that these are things I don't personally believe in, but that other people do and so should be respected.

By taking them to other churches they get a chance to see how others practice their faiths. And by talking to people who don't believe, they understand their viewpoint too.

So they can stay within the religion if they want to, but hopefully I will have highlighted the exit doors should they ever need them.

[MuminBrum]

Actually, 110times, my own Fluffy is in a wooden cask on the bookshelf. If you shake him, he rustles in a companionable kind of way. We consult him on all matters of importance.

[SueBaroo]

ooo..speaking in tongues... whole other topic, that.

[ahundredtimes]

I know, let's make him an ALTAR!

[Rhubarb]

wtf is Fluffy?

Now speaking in tongues is one thing I really cannot abide by! Utter nonsense!

But hey, if it makes them happy then whatever!

[Boco]

We're atheists, dd has just started at a CofE school and is coming home with confused God stories including 'father Andrew told us a story about a man who kept setting fire to bushes!' She also got confused between away in a manger, and next doors cat that had mange.

When she asked the whole did God make me question, i was honest about what i think, about evolution and death. I didn't want to slip back into the 'great granny has gone to heaven' thing because its easier and safer than saying that i don't believe she has. Also told her that i may be wrong - because i may be, and that it's ok to believe in God, but this is what i believe.

She thought about it, and decided that she's not keen on my take on it all - that God did make the world and everything in it, because there's a song about it in assembly.

I do think it's ok for her to feel this way, i remember the discomfort of having atheist parents and living in the grounds of a catholic school (outside Bath actually 100) with full on nuns and everything. It was horrible knowing that some of the adults in your life must be plain wrong - but which ones? I don't want to make it hard for her at school by being really forceful about my beliefs - being different to what she's being taught - she's too young to choose in a meaningful way, so i'll just hope to give her the tools to do some critical thinking as she goes along.

[MuminBrum]

I can't speak for anyone else, but my Fluffy was a cat. He shuffled off this mortal coil in summer 2005 and I haven't got round to scattering his ashes.