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Original poster

All you atheist parents wondering how to broach the religion topic to your kids listen up!

508 replies

Rhubarb · 12/06/2007 12:37

I'm a catholic and I teach my kids about all religions. I explain that some people believe different things and some people don't believe at all. I tell them what the Bible says about creation and what science says.

I tell them what my personal beliefs are but I encourage them to make their own minds up. I answer questions with "well this is what I believe but you might think something different".

I take them to Church and they know about the religion we follow, but I do encourage questions as far as I can bearing in mind their young ages.

So what I say to you is this. Don't put a barrier between yourselves and religion when it comes to your kids. Arm them with information and let them make their own minds up. If you push them a certain way, chances are that they'll reject it later on in life. Whereas if you add your support to whatever they decide to believe or not, it will give them the confidence to choose their own paths.

You may be disappointed in their choices but don't try to influence them too strongly one way or the other.

So says me.

OP posts:
SueBaroo · 12/06/2007 12:39

oo, is this the fabled 'atheist parent dilemma' thread I hear tell of?

MamaG · 12/06/2007 12:39

excellent post rhubarb

edam · 12/06/2007 12:39

What's brought this on, in particular? I've not really discussed religion with ds yet (nearly four) apart from brief explanation of the Christmas story and agreeing when his nanny told him her gerbil had died and gone to heaven (didn't seem appropriate to say 'oh no he hasn't', somehow).

NuttyMuffins · 12/06/2007 12:40

Blimey, I am doing something right for once then, as i am totally non religious and my kids know this, but I also make sure they know about all of the different religions and that if they have any questions I will answer them or try to find out.

Dd2 is very very into religion, loves learning about it and reckons god speaks to her.

Enid · 12/06/2007 12:41

hmm

I tell them what I think, but what I think only.

I mention that others feel differently and that they will make their own minds up when older

Enid · 12/06/2007 12:42

cant you jut tell them you are an atheist and leave it at that?

edam · 12/06/2007 12:43

If he gets interested in Christianity, I may well mention the commandment about honouring thy mother and thy father, though. Could come in useful.

Have realised I would actually feel a bit threatened if he decided to embrace any other religion - just because they aren't part of my background or culture. Especially if he became a fundamentalist of some description (actually even a Christian fundamentalist would piss me off). But if he did, would try to find out about it.

musicianswidowAKAmumofmonsters · 12/06/2007 12:44

Good post rhubarb. i think that if people approach religion like that then there it can only lead to better tolerance. Its how i am starting to explain thigs to my boys when they ask. Well DS1, DS2 is too young to care! It also means that i am having to actauly research religions and festivals so my understanding is better as a result.

musicianswidowAKAmumofmonsters · 12/06/2007 12:45

actualy i am not an atheist as such more of an encompass all...which probably means i am going to hell lol

ahundredtimes · 12/06/2007 12:48

Ah, here it is. OK is like this here. Firstly world religions much discussed, we even have a much read children's bible, which is pretty broad-minded in a house of rampaging atheists I think.

Now, the problem is this. Religion (I'm probably talking about christianity here, is the one I know most about) has all the best tunes doesn't it? Has good nifty tales for everything.

How was the world made?
What happens to Fluffy and Grandma when they die?

I think that's sort of the point of it (religion I mean) Is simple, is clear, is neat. BUT I don't actually believe the answers, and as we're now well educated people of the twenty-first century and not illiterate peasants we should be finding some answers of our own.

Are we comfortable with the monkey thing? Are we content to say they rot in the ground darling?

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/06/2007 12:49

Others were talking about their parental atheist dilemmas on another thread but the lazy gits couldn't be arsed to do their own thread, so being a good kind and caring catholic girl I've done one for 'em!

I dunno, to me it's important that they have knowledge and the means to use the knowledge appropriately. It's no good me just bringing them up as catholics and sheltering them from the world of Islamists or atheists. It's important that they know what others think and believe.

I try to take mine to different churches too from time to time.

Obviously with atheism I can't do that, but some of our friends are staunchly atheist and one of them is a kind of Godfather to ds, in that he read out his own promises to ds in the church, which I thought was very good of him. In due time I'll ask him to have a chat with them about what he believes.

Obviously they see that their parents are practiscing catholics, they understand what it means to us, well no to me really, I read them Bible stories and so on. So that is predominant in their lives. But I want them to feel free to explore other beliefs if they want to, and not closseted by catholicism.

OP posts:
Tortington · 12/06/2007 12:51

what kind of a chuffin catho are you?

make their own minds up?

MAKE their own minds up?

squidette · 12/06/2007 12:51

Rhubarb, nice post

As an atheist, i share the sentiments in your first post - i think it is relevant for anyone to be honest!

ahundredtimes · 12/06/2007 12:52

Have you run it by them that quite a lot of people don't think that God exists Rhubarb? Like how I've said, some people believe in God, some in Mohammad etc?

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/06/2007 12:52

ahundredtimes - the Bible does not make it clear what happens when we die. It may infer stuff, but the rest is left to your imagination. So I tell the kids that people fall asleep, I don't know where they go but I believe that they will rise again one day and we will see them again - but some people believe they die and they are gone forever.

As for the monkey thing, well scientists still squabble over that as to how many species of human there were on the earth, did we start as one species of monkey? And there are very few pieces of hard evidence to support their theories about all of this. So to me they are just theories still.

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ahundredtimes · 12/06/2007 12:53

Everyone is ignoring my plea for atheist child friendly 'stories' aren't they? I understand. Is difficult.

ahundredtimes · 12/06/2007 12:54

do you specify where you might see them again? I mean do they think they might pitch up one bank holiday w/end and give everyone a fright at the bbq?

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/06/2007 12:54

And yes I have told them that some people do not believe in God. That there is an alternative theory about the creation of the world called the Big Bang and so on. Actually dd goes to a proddy school and they do a fair bit on non-religion teachings.

Custy - sorry mate but the Pope still rocks in our house if that helps? And I still harbour secret aspirations that one day ds will be the first ever English Pope!

OP posts:
SueBaroo · 12/06/2007 12:54

100x (sorry for the lazy shorthand) I think you have to do what you honestly believe is best. There are ways of couching materialist beliefs in language that doesn't scare kids.

If you truly believe we come from a common ancestor to monkeys and that when we die, we go into the ground and become earth, then say it. Doesn't have to be an unpleasant thing, imo.

Admittedly, we do things very differently to Rhubarb, being dodgy fundies and all, but if I was in your position, I'd just be straight what I believe, too.

that's if you don't see it like telling them about Father Christmas or the tooth fairy. But then you kind of store up problems later, I suppose

edam · 12/06/2007 12:55

In terms of catholicism, my father told his parents he didn't believe in that 'mumbo-jumbo' any more when he was a teenager, and got into a whole heap of trouble. My gran even tried to do me a first Holy Communion on the sly!

But his younger brother was sly - pretended for years he was going to mass every week but said he was too tired after playing in his band on Saturdays to get up early and went to a later service. Even invented details of the sermon. Was years before my Gran worked out he was a big, fat, fibber. Poor Gran, she was a pillar of the church yet only one of her six grandchildren has bothered to get married before having babies (me).

ahundredtimes · 12/06/2007 12:55

I think you're a bit wooly. If I was going to have a faith, I'd love to be a Catholic. (My grandmother was one, but she got excommed because she got divorced, she was v. sad) because you get to be so DEFINITE about things don't you? Sin and guilt and hell and all that.

squidette · 12/06/2007 12:56

ahundredtimes, i am always on the lookout for good non-religious stories too. I have found some lovely ones about death, birth, memories, enlightened self-interest, forgiving and so on that dont have either an overt religious tone or a more discreet one.

Good for whatever your personal beliefs are as it allows you room to talk and discuss things with your children. Which can only be good i say

ahundredtimes · 12/06/2007 12:57

That was for Rhubarb by the way. I can't believe you want ds to be first english pope (I hope he his by the way) but you don't ever actually mention Heaven in your house?

UnquietDad · 12/06/2007 12:57

I'm not an anything-ist though. People call me an atheist but that's only because I am forced to describe myself in vocabulary defined by the existing religions.

There isn't a single word for people who don't "believe" that the moon is made of green cheese, that the earth is flat, that tealeaves can tell your future or that the entire Universe was sneezed out of the nose of the Great Green Arkleseizure. Apart from "sane".

Should I, in the interests of "not putting up barriers", expose my children to scientology, Flat Earthers, David Icke and his rampaging lizards in Buckingham Palace, believers in Breatharianism and followers of the Great Spaghetti Monster?

I will teach my children to question anything for which they don't have evidence.

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/06/2007 12:57

lol! Turning up at the bbq indeed!

I tell them that Jesus said he will return again and when that time comes we will see those who have died. But again I stress that this is my belief and this is what is written in the Bible.

I tell them that a lot of stuff Jesus said in the NT were stories, and so a lot of stuff in the OT should be taken as stories too. Not all of it is to be taken literally.

Obviously I'll go more indepth into it all when they are older, but I don't want to confuse them too much at this stage. They know there are other beliefs and some with no belief, but I'm sketchy on the details as dd is only 6.5 and ds 3. Gimme chance!

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