Reverts

[Nikki76]

Any Muslim reverts out there

Bumping this to see if Hanifah has had baby yet!!

can't wait to hear your good news inshAllah Hanifah.

Salaams Nikki inshAllah all is well? Alhamdulilah all is well here. Still loving being a mum alhamdulilah

Salaams

Good thanks, off to Syria soon....have a mega list of things to take for DS - how can one small person generate sooo much!!

Make dua for us as we are flying Syrian Air!! ...Glad I converted BEFORE flying with them....lol!!

MaashAllah have a great time inshAllah.
Lol - re Syrian Air - inshAllah will make dua.
Will you have access to tinternet? InshhAllah if you do keep us updated with your adventures.

InshAllah you'll also have to tell me what it's like travelling with a child. How old is your little one?

Ill Hamudu Illah he's a year old in May...just peeked in on him now asleep....couldn't resist putting the cot side down and giving him a kiss on the cheek - he looks sooooo cute when asleep - masha'allah! It really is a blessing from Allah

Hopefully I can connect on brother in law's laptop....just hope they don't see the threads and ask what mooncup and fanjo are!!!

lol!!

Baby Isa Abdullah Hossain born 8.47 a.m. sunday morning 18th March 2007 weighing 8lbs 14 ounces alhamdulillah and looking gorgeous mashallah, has his dads coloring but my face,lol.

My labor was the nitemare of all nitemares...first i started getting
contractions on thursday 15th(which i thot was just MAD backache)...really strong and painful and only a
few mins apart,when i went2hosp they said i was in early labor only 1
centimetre dilated!(my waters hadnt broken tho i was sure they were leaking but after vag exam i got a show which continued for a day or 2) but bcos my blood pressure was sky high they kept
me in foetal assessment without my hubby r mum - cos only at visiting hrs -evntho they were my brithing partners and i was in labor. I'd agonising contractions less than
3mins apart for 3 whole days but they wudnt take me to the delivery
ward cos my cervix wasnt ready, it went from one to two and just stayed there! I didnt sleep 1 second, eat 1 thing, go to
toilet or drink anything but water for almost a week! I couldnt
sit,lie,walk,shower,have a bath,talk even... they wudnt giv me pain
relief except gas and air which made me SO HIGH (wish i cud take it
home) but doesnt do much after 3days of stressful labor2me and baby. I was so sick I thought I wouldnt make it,they wouldnt even let me go home r bring anything like birthing ball in (most of the other women on the unit were there for monitoring etc but i was actually in labor)

Eventually on sat afternoon they examined me and said ok ur 3
centimetres dilated u can go to labor room,ur now in "established"
labor...so i was delighted finally it was gonna end soon...ispent
hours like that and didnt take any pain relief but entonox...then they examined me awhile later and no progress...so they broke my waters(which was SO hard4dem 2 do & there was very little - probably cos id been leaking) and discovered the baby had
pooed inside so onto monitor etc and i tried to carry on and get him out...breaking the waters
is supposd2speed up the labor but another few hrs later and my cervix
still wasnt opening...iwas on blood pressure monitors,baby heartbeat
monitor etc...so they suggested speeding it up with the drip2give me more contractions...i was like MORE?theyre already coming every
minute and SO painful but i agreed cos i wanted my baby....cos it
makes things advance rapidly and can b really painful so i said ok u
better give me an epidural then to numb the pain but the anesthist (spelt wrong)wasnt ready so i cudnt take it any more and got some pethidine...then they set up drip,cathether&ep, told me as soon as i was 10 centimetres and
near to pushing the baby out - theyd stop in order
to let me push naturally....hours later....still nothing!!!!and the
drugs were wearing off but i still thought i can do this...

Eventually at 8 a.m on sunday morn they said ok this isnt gona happen ur stil 3 centimetres
and babys in distress we're bringin u to theatre...so off i went
got a spinal block....then on the chopping board
lol...they cut me open(which altho u cant feel the pain ufeel
sumtn)and next thing i hear my baby cry and they pull him out, ididnt
notice them stitchin me back2gether cos i was too busy tryna catch a
glimpse of the baby which i cudnt cos i was paralysed from chest
down...it was so sad he was covered in poo and vomitted it up for
days,they didnt even clean him for me r help me with anything...but i
was SO happy it was all over...but the nitemare continued-he had had
the cord stuck around his neck3times(probably from the stress of the
long labor)so thank God he wasnt born naturally r he wudnt have
survived.

Anyway so they movd me to postnatal ward and i was so weak i lost so
much blood i had drips and injections and on so many drugs...i even
had 2 have 3 blood transfusions!The staff in Mayday hospital are PURE EVIL(except a few lovely people who go out of their way to care) especially the nite staff,that is not an exaggeration! The nite i delivered i was so disorientated and didnt know what was happening my baby was crying and he wudnt feed cos he was so sick and vomitting poo...i cudnt move and no one wud come when i pressd the bell even if they did they just said hes fine, the patient next 2me whod had her section few days early even changed his nappy4me!he was dirty,hungry,sick and all the staff said to me was "Lots of women have cesareans,he just wants his mum" It was like id died and gone to hell i wanted to help my baby so much and i cudnt i was so helpless,ihad to force my body to do stuff it couldnt to try to help him...my breastmilk never came in&they didnt help me lift him to try either..i woke up once and theyd just bottle fed him...i didnt mind tho bcos at least he was getting better and eating something...i started using breastpump but nothing happend,ieven got baby 2 latch on and suck well but no milk! So I started requesting optimal cos thats what theyd started him on..but they were so tight,ihad 2 ask over and over again for just one bottle...and try and make it last.

We finally went to leave the hosp on
tues til one doc decided the lil rash my baby had on face cud b
infection so they kept us in another 2 days and i had 2 bring my lil
angel to special care unit day and nite for antibiotics until the
results came in...he had this needle drip thing in his tiny hands it
was so cruel...i was so scared i thought God why r u doing this 2
me...finally on thursday we got the results and they were negativ he
was fine it was just a lil rash THANK GOD so i got home thursday nite
away from that horrible hospital! Sorry its so long but that really is
the short version ONE WHOLE WEEK of agony, i went in thurs nite and
came back following thurs nite! I just barely started eating again and
on thursday nite i got my first sleep of two hours on and off in
between feeding changing baby etc...im SO happy now he was worth it
all but it really was a near death experience and now the midwife is
coming to check me everyday cos it looks like my wound isnt healing
very well and they have to make sure the scar doesnt open PLUS after
all dat happend me my breastmilk hasnt come in and i have to feed him
formula until it does by which time he probly will b too used to
bottles! My colostrum id been getting for months just disappeared but i think inshallah theyre starting to get full..

I wish I could sue the hospital,so much happnd while I was there I dont even wanna remember so that realy is a brief summary. Alhamdulillah its all over and im home with my gorgeous baby boy, this life really is a test i felt like i was going through the trials of the grave i cnt blv its all over subhanallah...i cnt wait til im out of janaba and can pray

Oh Hanifah - I cried reading this! Am soooooo angry how they treated you!! Hope lulumama has read this and has some advice for you!!!

Actually, I think I will ask her to read this and give you some advice as she is much better placed than me..

Meanwhile, Ill Hamdu Illah for arrival of Isa...may Allah watch over him and you..Ill Hamdu Illah

shalom and salaam to you all....thank you for bringing this to my attention Nikki.....

Hanifah... this is what i posted on your other thread

By lulumama on Sat 24-Mar-07 18:12:55
congratulations on the safe, if traumatic arrival of your darling boy , he sounds beautiful , and sounds like you coped superbly with a difficult and upsetting labour and aftermath....(hug) for you ! very well done....

maybe when the dust has settled , you can think about writing to the hospital about how you were cared for (or not! ) and maybe think about contacting one of these organisations

birth trauma association

or

birth crisis

to talk things through when you feel ready...

the links are on your other thread

I would urge you to talk to someone about what happened to you....i don;t know where you are , but if you are in the midlands, i know a doula who is a muslim, who might be able to offer words of wisdom and advice.....

it is so upsetting, when a baby is born, and there is trauma, as you feel ungrateful, for feeling upset, when you have been blessed with a child.

the first 6 weeks post birth are generally a blur and a haze..when this is compounded by trauma, then there is a real possibility this can degenerate into post natal depression or post traumatic stress disorder.

it sounds like your labour was long, hard, and perhaps not managed as well as it could have been, and you were left unsupported, and alone.at a time you needed support....very scary.

do not feel afraid to talk about how oyu feel, and don;t try to push it away, it is real and it is valid, and burying it will not help.

I am not saying it is inevitable you will suffer PND or PTSD, but it could happen.

are you getting support now, from your mum, mum in law, DH?

really important you have time to rest, reflect and be nurtured, to allow you to nurture your beautiful baby...

if i can be of any help at all, please just ask. x

salams guys,thanks so much i am doing GREAT now believe it or not! i got my stitches out on friday and baby got heel prick test -which he took very well cos dh was giving him bottle(altho he did puke on daddy,lol)hes put on 2 ounces already and is now 9lbs mashallah, hes so healthy and happy and hes really alert,he must be a lil survivor!My mum has been AMAZING! I dont know what we'd do without her here,i think shel stay another week r 2,my dad came to visit again today(my family live in ireland)Hes just getting spoiled rotten by everyone-both sets of grandparents, uncles, aunt...and of course mommy n daddy, dh has been brill too-he's had 2 be! More good news - my breastmilk came in AT LAST last nite...but...ds still not really interested in sucking, i started expressing and have given him some breastmilk in bottles,he likes it even more than formula,lol, he eats so much mashallah!I just hope i can get him to be patient enough to suck on the breast but if it doesnt happen at least i feel im giving him something by expressing! Ive lost over 2stone already and my bumps almost gone,midwife came2check my wound2day and said not to worry - itll seep but just take it easy...so we really are all happy now back at home,hes a week old 2dy! I dont think ill call the advice lines or anything but ill tell anyone wholl listen lol...my family all know what ive gone thru-although no1 can really knw but anyway...my inlaws think im some sort of saint,hehe, baby was actually born on mothers day!I think im ok now everyones saying ive coped so well,even for an ordinary ceserean let alone all the complications but im just so grateful to be here and alive and have my lil munchkin, i didnt think we were both gona make it. I dont think ill start worrying until next time - whichl probably b 2 yrs away lol...everyone says i shud try for a natural birth again next time i think ill opt for a section but then everyone says dat way u can only have 3 by ceserean!?!Anyway like i said its a long way away hehe, thanks for being so sympathetic...i cried while writing "my story" part of me thought i wont even bother tryna go through what happnd but it felt really good to put it into words

Hanifah

sounds great ! if you are keen to get baby on the breast, you need to get him on there now !! excellent for persevering with the expressing, well done !! if you need help with breastfeeding, then your local NCT can help, as can the La Leche League and ABM...can do links for you if necessary , and this is a great site, kellymom

delighted to hear you are doing well, that is really encouraging...and your little one is doing beautifully 9 pounds already !

make sure that when you have your 6 week check, you are honest about how you are feeling, your hormones are still all over the place, and you might find you do get a bit low, so if that happens, do talk about it.

in the meantime, it is great to hear that you are doing so well, and sound so positive, with lots of support x

Hanifah congratulations on the birth of your little boy Isa, mabrouk alik, I'm sorry you had such an awful experience with the birth and such poor treatment in hospital - at least it's all over now but like lulumama says you need to keep talking about it until you feel you've come to terms with it.

Well done for persevering with the expressing and I hope you can get Isa to latch on - there are ways of encouraging a baby to take to the breast, they can set up a tube so that he is sucking at the breast but getting some formula at the same time so it encourages him to persevere, until he gets the milk flowing. They can do this at your nearest breastfeeding clinic (I went to the one at Kings College and the staff there were great but you've probably got one in Croydon although I doubt you want to go near the mayday again!)

Anyway I hope it works out inshallah we had problems with breastfeeding for ages it took weeks, months really to settle down but al hamdulillah it was all fine in the end and well worth the work.

Congratulations to you and your family and make sure you get enough rest and enjoy your new baby, I'm sure your house is full of light!

PS You must be feeling positive if you are already planning babies number 2 and 3!!!

Salam all,

I've been following this thread when possible, both my mum and DH are converts so the title was one that interested me.

Hanifah - Congratulations and Mabruk on the birth of your little boy. FWIW i had an emergency section with DS1 and a v.traumatic experience all in all. With DS2 born by elective section 5 weeks ago it was a completely different story, i had the most uplifting and great birth experience ever I didn't see DS1 like you until he was cleaned/checked etc.. after care was pants, had little help even with b/f and was asked v.rudely by one particular m/w (who fortunately no longer works in my local hospital) why i hadn't attended parenting classes when i had asked for help in the wee hours with screaming baby, no one around and feeling isolated in private room. Anyway will ramble about all the negativity of first section if i get a chance so will move on and say that everything was the complete opposite second time around:

• screen lowered so i could see DS2 being delivered
• Placed directly onto my chest, gooh and all.
• B/F off to a great start, lots of support
• Aftercare fantastic even given own room with ensuite
• Baby taken whenever i needed sleep after heavy drugs
• Love the staff at my hospital, lots of great things to say about them.

HTH - inshallah your next birth whether natural or by section will be easier for you and hamdullah for the safe delivery of your little boy

salams, jazakallah kheir...its good to know im not the only one whos had a nitemare experience...and that inshallah it can go right next time. A big part of me thinks if i have an elective section then itll be a million times different, the thought of trying a natural birth again - wen the reason it didnt work was cos my cervix wudnt progress - makes me think def go for section str8 away at least i knw what 2 expect...but then its not too pleasant to think u have to have an op everytime u want a baby lol...oh well....its a long way away!haha. thanks for all ur support n encouragement. Yestrday while i was expressing i noticed that its more normal color whitish almost same as formula - whereas the few days before it was still golden - so musta been just colostrum(no wonder it didnt fill baby lol)it came out so fast and quick I was filling up the bottle in a few mins on one breast...ds musta smelt it cos he went crazy and actually sucked for a few mins on each breast...then he went asleep! I was delighted and finished pumping the rest of the bottle...but then later he wasnt interested in sucking again(he'll even suck his fist and push me away!lol)so i gave him the bottle of breastmilk...couldnt get him2feed thru nite either,cept with bottles...hes such a hungry lil fello and eats so well...2 impatient for me...inshallah the more my milk comes in the easier itll b for him...at least he's trying now,lol...i dont mind so much either way bcos mashallah he seems so healthy already...i thought i cud plan everything(no1cuda been more prepared than me)but Allah is in control and u cant plan anything,so im just going with the flow, i know breast is best and im persevering but ill just accept it if it doesnt work(regardless of what inlaws think lol) I wanted to do the aqiqah last sat as it was 7days but father n law said wait til we can discuss/settled etc...I just wanted it done cos i dont really have to do anything, dont have to be there...and already decided not shaving babys head...but now pressures on for that...its just sunnah like circumcising on 7th day is sunnah...but not many people do that, anyone else any experiences? I know it sounds bad but i REALLY dont wana cut his hair! Gona get him circumcised in next few wks i think,nshallah

Wa salam Hanifah,

You sound well

I shaved DS1's hair at 7 days, then again a few months later and then again during summer months to keep him cool. My DS has a full head of beautiful curly fair hair (mashallah, la hawla wala quwwata illa billah) so whether it is a myth or not Allahu Alam but his hair has definitely grown back thick and beautiful. As for DS2, also born with thick head of lovely black hair and has also been removed - i do get quite emotional beforehand but neither of them have batted an eyelid, in fact, DS1 slept throughout. As for circumcision, is not on the cards for either yet. Is it something you want to have done asap?

Salam for now

wa alaykum salam ye tink i wana get it done soon nuf nshallah like in first 6mths but bit scared2, altho he was very good gettin his vit k,antibioic&heelpricktest so inshallah it wnt b 2bad. How old r ur ds's now? My dh finally latched on today for more than 5mins,he had good feed on both breasts but stil seems to want more, alhamdulillah

MashAllah and congrats to you Hanifah. I'm glad that after all the trauma yu have had a happy ending - or is that beginning .

RE the whole head shaving, we were supposed to do it and kept putting it off, basically because we were scared and Allah SWT had other plans. As i think i have said before his hair fell out with cradle cap - we did have every intention of cutting it.

I big virtual hug to you and Isa.
Take care

Oh Nikki,
Lol re the fanjo and mooncup - you can tell them they're musical instruments

Hanifah...just to say i am delighted to hear that your LO is thriving and that you are doing well....enjoy your baby and this special time xxx

thanks lulu, can u blv iv finally got him breastfeeding! i jus make up formula now if im REALY tired and want him2get good sleep, cos its bit messy now,he wants 2 feed ALL d time,usually hes just sleepin thre not even sucking,lol so hard2know what hes getting, we were in a great routine wit the bottles but im stil glad cos i wanted him 2 breastfeed, ikept tryna pump n then i realised im pumping him a bottle when hes actually hungry and i cud jus b giving him the breast,lol...well at least i hav d freedom2let other people feed him/go out/not breastfeed when its awkward...cos he takes bottle too. Its worth it all n d end isnt it!?lol...still cnt blv im a mum!

you have done so well, so so well, and you should be extremely proud of yourself x

Glad to hear that Isa is breastfeeding Hanifah, well done! Hope he continues to thrive inshallah.
Carolyn x

salams guys thanks yeah im so happy alhamdulillah but breastfeedings not so easy is it lol,ive got a very clingy lil boy,not interested in bottles anymore and refuses to sleep n d moses basket, hes so demanding lol alhamdulillah

Salaams Hanifah!

Back from Syria now. Please to hear you are doing well and Ill Hamdu Illah, Isa seems to be thriving, Mash'Allah.

I did the circumcision when he was around 3months - the earlier the better in my opinion. I didn't shave the head as I just couldn't bring myself to do it as he has a lovely head of hair....its not obligatory anyway. We did Akika for him as well - felt really good about that - so nice to give thanks for the blessing we have, I'll hamdu Illah!!