Danyella
I'm having the same problems - the church i've had to leave is traditional in the main, especially in the music, and we have trained priests in recent times to go with the tradtional - in fact, NV was good at getting a good traditional thing going, but mess it up a couple of times with the Lord's Prayer (all the way through Ordinary Time we have to have the modern version)
But, DH was in charge of the music, so we got the right type of stuff (he was always willing to take requests)
But, most churches are going modern now, it's very hard to get one that's organ, choir and tradtional words.
I had a huge problem finding one when I left last time, and i think it's going to be the same this time, too - if there's a choir they don't do anything, or the sound system is shocking, or the organ is a box of whistles.
I know that both traditional and great/welcoming ca be done, but noone seems to have worked out the magic formula, like they think that if they start to be great, they'll lose the tradition.
We went to Aylesford today, and it was lovely - they've done all the right things with the church, toilets, bells, carpetted back-of-church-where-pews-have-been-removed-to-make-nice-space, the organ was overhauled last year or the year before (still only a 2 manual, so not that impressive!). but the choir had no confidence at all - they sang like they'd never seen the music before. I felt like i was singing louder than they were, and I was trying to sing more quietly (I miss being the ones who have to sing loudly so everyone can hear)
However, we did learn after the service that the Organist has a week off and the asst Organist plays, and also that there is a new vicar, who has only been there since August and he's not as vibrant as the old one - so it might be better in a few months, or even on a better Sunday.
It can be done, traditional churches just need to recognise that change isn't always bad, but it has to be the right change, and it has to work with what they've already got, not replace it, but enhance it (and toilets and removing pews is never popular, but it makes churches so much more workable these days)