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Original poster

Re-opening the Muslim Tearoom?

210 replies

perfectlybroken · 29/11/2016 18:07

Salaam/peace, I haven't seen a tea room thread for ages. Would anyone be interested in resurrecting it? Perhaps we could redecorate, and have a new range of yummy cakes!
The previous tearooms were places where all were welcome, and we could chat about parenting/marriage/Islam stuff. Visits from those we questions about Islam were also welcome.

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StarrySpace · 01/12/2016 13:41

Too many "so"'s in that comment! Sorry!

thethoughtfox · 01/12/2016 13:58

Thank you, Star.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 01/12/2016 14:04

I'm a spectacularly-lapsed Catholic. Love your tearoom.

I've got a question which is so embarrassingly dim I've not been able to verbalise it without sounding like a moron...

My son's becoming very friendly with a wee boy who's Muslim, his family are very involved at the Mosque, he goes to Mosque school etc. My boy's wanting him to come and play, have dinner. So, here's my Really Stupid Question - is it ok to have pork in the fridge?

I'd not feed him anything inappropriate for his dinner - but, would it be unacceptable to have a pack of cold ham in the house?

Told you it was stupid.

StarrySpace · 01/12/2016 14:24

stealth you can have whatever you want in your fridge! As the wise old saying goes: "your house, your rules" Grin I think things like this should be discussed and you're not stupid for asking. As a Muslim, I don't want any special treatment or for you to change your ways. A friendship is a two way thing and everyone has their own house rules. If I come to your house I would be gracious and I'd like to think you'd respect my rules too.

I'd prefer nothing to have touched the ham/pork, if that makes sense? My dd has a friend whose mum always buys in halal sausages for her and cooks them in the oven even though I always say she didn't have to go to the trouble.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 01/12/2016 15:09

Smashing, thanks very much.

Pizza it is.

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 01/12/2016 15:23

thethoughtfox yes, the lunar calendar means that events are out of sync with the gregorian calendar, so it will be different each year. I think we are coming into the Islamic month in which the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was born. Some Muslims celebrate at this time, others don't, some use it as a time to study his life and learn from it.
Because the kids are learning about Jesus (peace be upon him) from a Christian perspective at school, I take the opportunity to teach about Jesus from an Islamic perspective. Many aspects of the story are similar (e.g. the virgin birth), but Muslims believe he was a Prophet, not the son of God.

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Original poster
perfectlybroken · 01/12/2016 15:26

stealth that's not a stupid question, you are being considerate! Yes, ham in the fridge is no problem, you can stick it on your wall and it still wouldn't be a problem (well they do in Spain Grin). I do tend to politely ask about food when taking the DCs to playdates, just because A LOT of kids stuff has pork gelatine in, including sweets and some yogurts. So I tend to say treat them like vegetarians. That said, we have accidentally given them gelatine before, so if someone else did it accidentally it wouldn't be the end of the world!

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labouroflove13 · 01/12/2016 17:56

salaam!

thanks perfectlybroken for restarting the muslim tearoom, seems from all the replies that lots of people have been waiting for something like this awhile. its going to be nice to have a safe space for muslim mamas on mumsnet once again - God Willing.

tunnocks thats really sweet of you to be so concerned. i have a friend who took so much care when inviting us round not to mix foods or kitchen equipment that i was extremely touched. it ended up being very exaggerated care, i think she confused us with jews who are far more strict when they keep kosher though our halal rules have origins in Talmudic law. but we left feeling honoured guests.

iv just stopped kids having hot dinners at school as theyve told me that the servers touch the ham and meat before giving them their vegetarian option. i was really dismayed as it makes life so simple when i dont have to prepare lunches for them. i kept asking 'are you sure you saw that with your own eyes?' (dagnbbit!). but theyre absolutely positive so rather than go into school and ask about this and be seen to be making a fuss iv quietly put them all back on packed lunches. does anyone else think ignorance is bliss sometimes? if i didnt know about it i wouldnt have thought to ask but now its come to my attention i have to act on it!Grin

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 01/12/2016 18:16

Oh labouroflove it's taken me sooo long to convince very cautious ds1 that the halal school meals really are halal and now I'm doubting myself! So glad the tearoom is up and running and with lots of happy customers!

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fuzzywuzzy · 01/12/2016 18:18

Salaam, lovely to have tearoom thread again.

Labour our chef at work get halal chicken so we can eat food in the canteen. He made a chicken pasta dish friend ordered it, the server put a generous sprinkling of pork on it. Friend was very upset and threw away her lunch but felt awful about it for ages.

I'd be glad your children noticed and told you.

Could you cook extra evening meal and give them leftovers in thermos lunch boxes the next day? I used to do that.

To whoever asked abortion is allowed in circumstances and it's encouraged to have the abortion before 120 days of pregnancy thereafter it is believed to have a soul.

Personally I'm staunchly pro choice.

As for Christmas I've always said it's my favourite holiday that I don't celebrate.
My husbands a convert so we give his family gifts and accept gifts from his family. They were so sweet asked permission to give us gifts.
This year my DC also have advent calendars as my youngest was going on and on about a charm bracelet advent calendar. So I got her one this year.

Hope everyone is coping with the cold.

mailfuckoff · 01/12/2016 18:24

Can I join? Active Christian here but very interested in Islam, especially as we share a root religion. My dc have a Muslim not in their class and they send him a none nativity Christmas card as I don't want to leave him out. Would this be ok?

fuzzywuzzy · 01/12/2016 18:27

Mail that should be fine and very kind of you. I used to put our cards up when little. My dad always made us reciprocate Christmas cards.

Maltropp · 01/12/2016 18:35

Lovely idea for a thread.

I'm in the nosey category being not a Muslim but really wanted to ask a question.... If you wear the hijab is there any significance to the style you wear? I see lots of different styles of headscarves - big full ones with lots of material (think the last Bake off winner), simple plainer ones with less fabric, some lose, some closely pinned. Do you just think "ooh I fancy that style today", is it personal preference or linked to the kind of Islam you follow or roots from any particular country? Huge apologies for my ignorance, I've always wanted to ask but never seemed to find the occasion without seeming a bit rude, ignorant and nosey!

I hope nothing in my Q causes offence.

iniquity · 01/12/2016 18:35

Salam to everyone Muslim or otherwise.
I'm a lapsed Muslim of the converted variety.
We don't celebrate Christmas personally, but I usually go to my non Muslim parents and they do the full works which is great. My husband wants me to stop.l , but I don't want to surrender every cultural tradition. I've given up so much already. I never know how to make eid as special as Xmas as I wasn't brought up with the traditions.

Lipsy234 · 01/12/2016 18:39

I agree with perfectlybroken it is a terribly difficult decision to make. I think its lovely to have that option, afterall its the mother who bears the burden of the child.

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 01/12/2016 18:56

Maltropp I think it's a combination of:
Your definition of what hijab is, some have a stricter definition than others, I make sure neck and chest is covered by mine (large breasts!)
Cultural background, as there are cultural differences in how it's tied etc
Fashion/style, what you feel comfortable with

Some of the young'uns really go for it and make them very dressy, I'm old and boring now so stick it on in the same old way every day). I did however find getting my colours done really useful for wearing the right cokour hijab,

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Freeurmind · 02/12/2016 01:09

Salam, I love the idea of a tearoom revival.
Any sisters from west London?
How long have you been a revert for perfectly?

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 02/12/2016 08:41

Salaam free around 10 years

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iklboo · 02/12/2016 08:58

Very pagan here. DS's best friend is Muslim and, although only 11, they have lots of discussions about religion, festivals etc.

DS wondered if it would be OK to give his friend & parents Eid presents next time or would it be over the top? Something like chocolates for friend & his dad, flowers for mum?

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 02/12/2016 09:15

iklboo one of my best friends at school became pagan in her teens.
I think gifts for Eid would be very thoughful. My neighbours kids brought us some chocolates on Eid once, I was really touched.

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fuzzywuzzy · 02/12/2016 09:40

Iniquity to make Eid special, we decorate our house, (actually have 'Eid Mubarak' bunting !!), invite friends and family around for lunch (all day eating actually), we have special cultural dishes which we prepare.

We give eachtoher and friends gifts.

Also in our area we have 1Eid events, so we go to that in the morning, do our Eid prayers altogether give out sweets to the kids (and some adults lol), go on rides and buy things form stalls.

Loveovelove Eid.

You have to make your own Eid traditions to make it special.

Iklboo, tat's very sweet of your son to want to give Eid gifts to his friend, it's encouraged in Islam to give eachother gifts as it forms bonds of affection. Don't think its over the top at all, be prepared to inundated with your body weight in sweets in return. Altho my dad used to give us all money on Eid (including friends who happened to be around).

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 02/12/2016 16:50

Juma Mubarek (Happy Friday!) everyone? Is anyone fortunate enough to attend Juma prayer? I don't get chance at the moment.

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StarrySpace · 02/12/2016 17:13

Gifts for eid sounds really nice. There are two Eids that are 2 months apart just to warn you though!

Re: hijab, I like to wear simple colours that normally match my shoes and handbag. I'm not a fan of the big bulky head hijab style, and ive also read a Hadith that states something about these "camel hump" hijabs that puts me off. Don't know if anyone else has read this.

Juma Mubarak to you too perfectlt! I've always read juma at home. I've never in my life attended our local mosque for any prayers even though they have a women's section. I prefer to be in the quiet of my home and it's how my mum taught me, so it feels more comfortable.

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 02/12/2016 17:19

I'm also aware of the 'camel hump' hadith, I try and put my pony tail at the base of the neck. Your prayer at home sounds lovely StarrySpace, I used to get to go the mosque a lot, but not so much now I have kids. It's comforting to know that there is so much reward in praying at home. I also find it more peaceful and easier to concentrate. I always end up nattering in the mosque, which is not what you are supposed to do!

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originalmavis · 02/12/2016 17:21

My question is... I see a few young women with what I call a 'head bustle ' - where their head scarf looks like it is covering a watermelon strapped to the crown of their head! Is it fashion or just a hell of a lot of hair coiled up?