Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

How can I help religious DD?

292 replies

IsabellaofFrance · 04/09/2015 20:20

My DD is 6.

She has become increasingly more religious in the last year. She attends Rainbows and Sunday School (at her request) and she loves both.

I think she understands that beliefs are individual and that not everyone believes the things she does, and she is happy to share her own beliefs. She has started to get interested in Dinosaurs and Space, and became really upset when learning about the creation of the universe as it doesn't fit with what she believes.

DH is Atheist, I am Christian but only attend Church semi-regularly and I just don't know how to handle it. I can't answer the questions she has without upsetting her. She is bright and articulate so its not explaining it on a level that is the problem, its knowing what to say.

OP posts:
fakenamefornow · 04/09/2015 23:40

and made sure they knew we didn't believe in creationism

I would make sure she knew that creationism wasn't true and that's why you don't believe it.

nooka · 04/09/2015 23:56

My dd went through a stage of being quite religious/christian at a similar age. In her case it came pretty directly from school (ordinary local community school) as we'd not realised that the head was good friends with a local vicar and had him come in frequently and talk at assembly etc.

dh and I are both atheists so we weren't terribly pleased when dd came home with all sorts of 'truths' that were very hard to dislodge. Including at one point some pretty weird ideas about the beginning of the world/ evolution. Tackling it head on didn't work at all well as dd was very stubborn and insisted that the vicar was right because 'his house was bigger than ours' (she'd just been on a visit to the church!). She grew out of taking on other peoples beliefs as facts after a few years and now has her own belief system (more agnostic than ours, borrowing from quite a few sources).

One thing that I think did help was that we read her (and her brother) lots of different myths and creation stories so that we could talk about belief in a bit of a more neutral way without butting up against her beliefs too much so that she didn't feel backed into a corner.

goblinhat · 05/09/2015 07:37

When DD was about that age I remember explaining that there are different kinds of truth.
Are there? How confusing for a child.

That God is real and present he isn't though. He is an imaginary character that some people put their trust into.

Capewrath · 05/09/2015 13:05

Goblin, why do you assume a six year old isn't capable of understanding what I put?

It sounds to me as though you are pushing the atheist agenda, not even an agnostic one. But the op 's household is mixed, as is our society, whether one likes it or not, and important to promote tolerance.

Mine understood. Very quickly. If it gets complicated you say it's like people like different sorts of sweets.

We had all sorts of discussions at that age. Like what actually happens in gay male sex. " well, darling, not being a boy I don't actually know but what I think happens is.... But some mummies don't want their children talking about this, so let's keep this conversation to ourselves. You can still ask me anything."

Capewrath · 05/09/2015 13:15

Cross posted with you.

It is indisputable that Jesus existed. " yes, darling, Jesus really lived, though some of the things may just be stories, made up later."

It's his /His divine nature and whether there is a divinity that is in doubt.

Similar issue with Islam. The Prophet existed. No claims for his divinity but claims for God. And Judaism. Ok Noah may have been a figment of the imagination, but the later stuff has historical basis.

What's difficult about any of that?

You believe one set of things, your right to do so; others believe others. Their right. As long as you promote tolerance and respect and equality of treatment, what's the issue?

nooka · 05/09/2015 16:23

I don't think it is 'indisputable' at all that the Jesus as described in the New Testament existed at all. Much more likely that there were characters at the time (or thereabouts) that formed the basis for the stories.

'Truth' is a very abstract concept and one that I doubt many six year olds can really get their heads around. The rest of Capewrath's explanation sounds perfectly six year old friendly though.

Possibly better than dh's 'that's a load of fetid dingos kidneys' response to one of dd's pronouncements about creation. Although in practice my rational response and dh's irritation had about the same effect at the time (ie none at all).

Interestingly ds (16mths older) has always taken an atheist line, and ignored all the preaching at school (and from his grandmother too).

goblinhat · 05/09/2015 16:34

nooka- I agree.

To say that "jesus existed" is to give credence to the prophet jesus, son of god .., able to perform miracles, rise from the dead etc.

Difficult to explain to a 6 year old that a jesus type political activist (or three) may have existed, but didn't do funky stuff, didn't make blind men see.

areyoubeingserviced · 05/09/2015 16:45

Both my uncle and his wife are atheists, two out of their three boys are now Catholic priests. Go figure

goblinhat · 05/09/2015 16:56

Go figure

Meaning?

springydaffs · 05/09/2015 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

goblinhat · 06/09/2015 08:37

sprigy I have as much right as any to contribute to a thread about religion.

mummytime · 06/09/2015 09:10

Well I do find it a bit much that you goblin waltz into Philosophy and Religion and proclaim loudly not "I believe that it's all made up anyway", but "That God is real and present he isn't though. He is an imaginary character that some people put their trust into."

Most people on these threads are quite respectful of other peoples beliefs (even if misguided), however there is no reason why an aetheist has a right to be rude and disrespectful of others beliefs.
As my DD said recently "you can't prove a negative" And repeating the same thing loudly over and over is not proving anything.

springydaffs · 06/09/2015 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

goblinhat · 06/09/2015 09:19

springy- I take it you are not christian then?

I will continue to comment on religious boards- religion affects us all whether or not we believe in a god.

You don't have any power over that springy. Grin

springydaffs · 06/09/2015 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

springydaffs · 06/09/2015 11:34

As I'm being deleted here some editing seems to be in order. So:

Christian, yes. Born again, spirit-filled, ongoing relationship with the lovely God. Non-christians like yourself appear to be experts on this, too: that Jesus was white, blonde, western, meek and mild, and that his followers should be, by non-christian reckoning, the same construct.

If you have something constructive to say goblin then do say it - critical debate is a valuable part of life from all sides. The sneering and jeering you have peppered this thread with is not constructive; is empty, wastes everyone's time imo. I respect you don't believe; you don't respect me, and those like me, who do believe. It's all rather dull imo.

Unless you have something constructive to say, please refrain from sneering and jeering, do please make some valid points, bearing in mind they are your opinion.

Apologies for derail, op. De riguer on these mad boards from what I can make out.

springydaffs · 06/09/2015 11:38

As I'm being deleted here some editing seems to be in order. So:

Christian, yes. Born again, spirit-filled, ongoing relationship with the lovely God. Non-christians like yourself appear to be experts on this, too: that Jesus was white, blonde, western, meek and mild, and that his followers should be, by non-christian reckoning, the same construct.

If you have something constructive to say goblin then do say it - critical debate is a valuable part of life from all sides. The sneering and jeering you have peppered this thread with is not constructive; is empty, wastes everyone's time imo. I respect you don't believe; you don't respect me, and those like me, who do believe. It's all rather dull imo.

Unless you have something constructive to say, please refrain from sneering and jeering, do please make some valid points, bearing in mind they are your opinion.

Apologies for derail, op. De riguer on these boards from what I can make out.

springydaffs · 06/09/2015 11:42

i'm done!

HermioneWeasley · 06/09/2015 11:52

Op, I'd be incredibly concerned about where she's learning creationism from. This isn't a science vs religion argument - it is fact that this story is a myth and it should be presented as such.

If she's being exposed to religious stories as fact anywhere I would withdraw her (and spend the time watching "cosmos" with Neil deGrasse Tyson instead)

BigDorrit · 06/09/2015 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 12:00

Tell her that you understand that theres bits of it that dont make sense and dont add up, and thats why her daddy doesnt believe in it, but its up to her to make her own conclusions

Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 12:11

I'd be another one who would not really comment in the negative but introduce a variety of different creation myths from across the world.

Then take a trip to the natural history museum.

BigDorrit · 06/09/2015 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyShirazz · 06/09/2015 14:08

I remember being about 10 and very distressed that mummy and daddy's ideas about life didn't fit with the Christian ethos I'd been taught at school. Not that I really "believed" or understood anything, now I think back on it - I was just mindlessly parroting what I'd been taught.

I don't remember them going into any detail, just saying when I asked that they didn't believe in God because "they just didn't", and finding that quite upsetting....

These days I am a pretty strong atheist, and would find it very hard not to steer my child away from this - though I know that's not a very healthy approach (I suppose no more or less so than parents who do set out to teach their children a religious mindset).

Probably she will grow out of it as she learns to think and reason for herself - she is only 6 after all... For me it probably stemmed from figuring out that Father Christmas, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy didn't exist, and just applying logical extension...

goblinhat · 06/09/2015 14:53

lady- I think it is a healthy approach.

All you are doing is preserving your daughter's non- belief, that same non belief that she was born with.

If, later once she is an adult at least she will have more sophisticated reasoning powers and critical thought which will allow her to make a more informed choice should she decide to follow a faith.

Preying on 6 year olds is plain nasty.