How do you resolve conflicting religious parenting

[Contemplates]

My husband doesn't want our children to be allowed access to both of our (differing) religious views, only his.

He is atheistic and I wanted to introduce our preschooler to Sunday school if he wanted to try it.

He loves preschool and wanted to see what this was all about too, and I had always been open about the fact I intended to encourage exploring God as an alternative to atheism, without forcing anything.

Obviously his Dad's alternative viewpoint is also and equally well known in our household. However I don't silence my husband the way I feel he is trying to silence me and I'm trying to remain balanced and fair.

This morning he was saying how he didn't want our son to attend Sunday school as he doesn't like it; which led to our son saying he didn't want to go anymore. So this morning we went to the park instead

Has anyone experienced this parental conflict before and how did you deal with it? There must be some balanced compromise that we can reach, while still enabling our children freedom to make their own choices.

"were you taught the atheist viewpoint or the church viewpoint when you were questioning your RE teachers?"

Not sure what you mean by this. RE teacher was obviously teaching the religion. I was the one asking him why he thinks any of that is true.

Btw, my RE was about Islam, not Christianity. But the principle of being taught about pre-Enlightenment fairy tales as fact is the same.

I wouldn't worry too much about that. You get the gist of what I mean.

And surely you can see I don't intend to offend you?

No, I meant ... What was your home influence at the time. Anti-God or pro-God?

Why do you think I'd be offended?

Re "atheistic" - What I'm pointing out is that you seem to be unaware of even in the simplest terms used in such debates.

Athiesm is not always about being "anti-God". I was brought up in a family who were simply disinterested in religion, there was no pro or anti about it. Religion was never discussed, as were several other topics, Canadian politics, the life cycle of spidres, the history of Gambia to name others. My father was extremely interested in the history of the Universe and the evolution of animals, but this was never discussed in the context of thiesm.

I thought it was a point of offence because you picked up on it and it seemed to cause you displeasure.

But I'm glad it didn't. But I'd also say it wasn't that obvious in the disciplinary definition which talked of atheistic literature and atheistic people etc. perhaps I would be ok saying my husband is an atheistic person (in line with the dictionary definition) rather than saying he is atheistic?

But I notice you're being coy about your home parenting influence as a child

No "home influence" to speak of. Mum had a vague belief in God and I have seen her pray once or twice growing up. Grandparents were quite devout but not preachy. DB and I were just not taught anything on the subject, whether for or against.

In case that wasn't clear from my previous post, what often happens in such circumstances is that it is not easy to convince a child of such fantastical stories at a later age.

Which is of course why Sunday school starts years before elementary school.

atthestroke Oh? What else is atheism 'anti' then?

"because you picked up on it and it seemed to cause you displeasure."

Displeasure? Good grief, woman. I have been pointing out that you are so ignorant on the subject that you don't even know to say "He is an atheist". I even said that it doesn't sound like you ever had a conversation on this subject. Was that really too subtle?

I'm not being "coy". It's just that writing to you is not all I'm doing at the moment so my replies are not instantaneous.

Cotes your previous post was quite clear, just the personal history part wasn't.

Were you ever exposed to Sunday School?

atthestroke - Your childhood home sounds like mine.

"My father was extremely interested in the history of the Universe and the evolution of animals, but this was never discussed in the context of theism."

Exactly. And this is how I'm talking to my DC. When DD started asking about the sun, the earth, how it all came to be, I bought a book about the solar system and told her about Big Bang etc. It hasn't occurred to me to talk about the God hypothesis.

I think athiesm is the default position of us all, before we are fed these man made constructs designed to control and disempower. Athiesm is just a useful term to describe a lack of faith.
Do you believe in the Hindu gods? Do you reject all but your god- I would suggest that makes you athiest towards hindu gods- but are you necessarily anti- hindu gods?

atthestroke what happened with your sister then? You have explained before how her religious beliefs have caused a rift between you.

"Were you ever exposed to Sunday School?"

You must have missed the post where I said my RE was about Islam, not Christianity. (And if I were as lovely a person as you, this is where I would be saying "If you bothered to read my posts correctly..." etc)

For clarity - No, I had no Sunday school.

Cote- so I'm not sure if that is an "athiest " upbringing or not. My father wasn't anti god, just completely uninterested - just didn't figure anywhere in his thoughts. So even when telling us all about the big bang and the creation of the universe ( he was a physicist) god just didn't enter into things.

I had absolutely no religion in my life, apart from an odd glance of Songs of Praise before someone groaned and switched the telly over, until I went to Church Parade as a Brownie. I still remember walking into this huge echoey mostly empty building and being utterly astonished at rows of people listening to a grown man in a dress talking about something that clearly wasn't there and all pretending that it was.

I still feel that way now. All very Emperor's New Clothes.

The other aspect that baffled me as a child, and still does now, was that the men in frocks preached what Jesus said, care for the poor, follow him, give everything away, don't have a "church" as a physical entity, and I listened carefully because it was all new and fascinating, and then looked at the reality of the enormous wealth and absurd hierarchy and practices of established religion and was agog at the cognitive dissonance and hypocrisy.

And "love thy neighbour"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I'm not sure how my religious beliefs disempower me, I feel quite the opposite. Sometimes I even feel rebellious, especially when been 'told off' for being 'ridiculous' on these type of threads...

My sister emigrated to Australia when she was 17, spent the first year or two very homesick and was preyed upon by firstly a Baptist then a Pentacostal Church, offering her answers and friendship. Whithin a short time she was "born again", was talking at tongues and being "healed" at services. She is still deeply involved in the church, has sent her children to a private babpist church and in now herself a Pentacostal Pastor. She has also converted our mother who is now "born again".

But nothing to do with parenting, I presume atthestroke.

"I'm not sure how my religious beliefs disempower me, I feel quite the opposite."

That could be because the crutch you are holding helps you stand so is easy to confuse with real power. You know, the power of standing on your own.

"Sometimes I even feel rebellious, especially when been 'told off' for being 'ridiculous' on these type of threads.."

I don't think believers are 'ridiculous'. I think some of their beliefs are a bit funny, but I understand that they can't really question something they have been indoctrinated in when they were so little that it has become part of who they are. Personally I think it's a bit sad but it seems to make you happy, so what can I say?

It is a bit like reading Brave New World - I think it is an awful society but everyone is happy, so what right do I have of criticising it? It still breaks your heart as a reader to see those people living like that, though.

Capsium perhaps it highlights the need for a more active stance against religion, or more education to let children know about religion generally- without getting involved in worship.

I am standing on my own, from an atheist viewpoint, Cote.

If you read my history I wasn't indoctrinated. My father and brother would describe themselves as atheists, unless they've changed their minds without me knowing.

I think it depends who it's more important to. If one parent has very strong views and they're very important to them for whatever reason and the other parent may not agree but isn't as strongly opinionated than the other so back down.

We're both Jewish and it was v important to my OH to have our son circumcised (pls don't comment, I know it's contentious). I didn't really like the idea but his argument and beliefs were stronger than mine and after all the child IS Jewish so...

I'm rambling.

capsium - Where is your 'history'? No, I haven't read it.

I was responding to your "I'm not sure how my religious beliefs disempower me". Are you saying you are an atheist? What kind of religious beliefs do you have as an atheist, then?