Welcome to muslim tea room 2.

[defuse]

Peace to you all

Ok, well here it is again...we have moved to room 2 now

Discuss whatever aspect of islam you like my lovely sisters - this is a place for muslims and non-muslims too, to share experiences, raising kids or just having your say!

The kettle is on.... We have loads of herbal teas, coffee and guava juice .... I like guava juice so welcome!

This is the third time I've tried to post a reply but my computer keeps crashing lets hope third time is lucky.

Thank fuzzy and lost for your endorsements of that abaya. I am really left with no choice but to get it now am I. Though I probably didnt need much convincing in the first place.

Lost don't feel bad. Wearing hijab is a journey in my opinion. You have to travel at your own pace. In my experience I have found that people who go from one extreme to another often end up going back the same way. Its better that you build your emaan up to the point that your ready to wear abaya rather than just jump in to it because you feel you have to. Also as Crescent said liking fashion and wanting to look good is not bad. I think it can be quite fun challenge to make abaya look trendy. Takes a lot more creativity and is much more impressive in my opinion .

By the way I have a question for the abaya wearers. Why do you wear abaya. I started wearing it in my late teens and I can't imagine not wearing abaya but my reasons for wearing it have changed. When I was younger I had a lot of people around me who held the opinion that it was fard and that influenced me to start wearing it. However I have never been fully convinced of that opinion. If wearing abaya is fard that means women who don't wear it are sinful and I just cant accept that people who are otherwise dressed modestly would be considered sinful for not wearing it. I listened to a female Islamic lecturer once who was asked this question and she said she didnt believe it was obligatory despite wearing it herself. She said that we can not know for certain what women at the time of the prophet pbuh wore and it is highly unlikely that what we call abaya would have been it. She said that as long as your clothing meets the requirements of hijab (i.e. loose fitting, not see through, covering all the required parts and is not ostentatious) then it is fine. So the Pakistani woman who wears a long shalwar kameez (not Bollywood style ones ) and hijab is modest. The African sister who wears her colourful outfits which cover her hair and body is also modest and the western, European sister who dresses in loose clothing is also in hijab. For me this is the most fair opinion. Islam is a universal religion and has the ability to transcend any one nations cultural practices and ways of dressing. If all muslim women had to import a style of dressing that was not native to them in order to be modest that would be impractical. That being said I love wearing abaya and I hope to wear it for the rest of my life. I feel most comfortable in it and I feel like I can relax and know that Im meeting the requirements of hijab without too much thought or effort. It is the best choice for me but I wouldn't judge someone who doesnt wear it. What are your opinions and reasons for wearing abaya?

Crescent this might interest you.

By the way I think a lot of the criticism levelled at the muslim hipsters is rooted in jealousy. People envy that they are able to bring together both sides of their identity, the Western and Islamic.

Salaam all,
Just managed to catch up......

crescent i just read that piece about SS and potential for abuse and neglect in asian families. That has riled me. I grew up not knowing much about discrimination etc. but as i am getting older and possibly wiser i am seeing discrimination everywhere. I was shocked to recently find out that my SIL, who has a first born with a genetic illness was told not to have another child for minimum 6 years. When she had another after 4 (who is healthy alhamdulillah) the SS turned up to assess whether she was able to take care of the new baby! There was no history of any kind of issues of neglect etc, but there the SS were, looking for potential! Fortunately, they decided not to take it further, but i still cannot believe the audacity. .

As for moving to another school, my advice would be, check out the new school, if you like it, if your DCs are happy with the move then, bismillah - do it

lost. I dont always wear the abaya either. My abayas tend to be quite bling, so can only be worn for occasions rather than everyday wear (except for one or two). I tend to wear long dresses - if i can find one that covers! If i wear tops then i will wear trousers or jeans. Long Skirts are probably more modest but i am not really a skirt person.

I have an ample bosom so do try to cover that with my hijab or a loose cardigan. In fact what annoys me is when i see these lovely abayahs with lots of bling around the neckline, but they are no good to me because i cannot carry them off - i must cover the entire area with my scarf otherwise i just look vulgar . I envy sisters who can wear lovely fitted clothes without the additional need to cover it all - i just dont look right!

Having said that, i found a gorgeous abaya in my local abaya shop which came with a dupatta (a georgette scarf) encrusted with lots of crystals and sequins which actually drapes along the abaya from one shoulder and crosses over the bust and is part-stitched at the waist. So for once, i can wear the hijab in a style that doesnt necessitate that i cover my bust. Hurray! .
The best bit was that it was reduced from £85 to £35 - well 39.99, but i haggled Now i just need an occasion to wear it!

peaceful I wear the abaya ( when i do) because they are very feminine and flowy and i do believe they best meet the criteria of dressing modestly in accordance with islam. However, that is not to say that other dresses
(Eastern/western) dont meet the criteria. They do - you just need to accessorize and halalify

I am liking the pakistani long kameez fashion, that is working for me at the moment.

I have gone on a bit... Better stop now!

Crescent I've done that far too many times with regards to the see through fabric on a skirt, so know exactly what you mean! Thank you for reassuring me that wanting to look half decent isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be.

I read my post back and I've made it sound like I don't wear hijab, I do and have done for nearly two years. Personally I don't like the turban style, I see it loads on instagram and a lot of this sisters get slated for it, oh my goodness I've read some vicious comments on there. I've looked at some of dinatokios page, mashallah she's beautiful. I follow hijab fashion484, unique_hijab and hijabfashion to name a few.

I didn't know they did that nail polish, my toes always feel bare in the summer without it, I'm going to keep an eye out for it.

I was reading on the last thread about getting out the house in the mornings, I would get out the house much quicker if I laid my clothes out the night before! I have over 50 scarfs (scarves?) and I like them to match what I'm wearing. My dh used to get so frustrated with me because I'd often change twice before I was happy. Now he leaves for work before I'm awake so doesn't see my clothing despair sometimes!

I can't wait for the summer, that's when I live in maxi skirts and dresses, hence the wanting to find an abaya that's more dress looking.

Peaceful I've never thought the abaya to be fard, as long as modest dress no skinny jeans is adhered to. I could be wrong though, I often am . Definitely get the ruby abaya! The cut is really nice and would look very flattering.

What shoes do you all wear with your abayas? That's partly my problem, I like wearing knee high boots which is why I wear skinny jeans in the winter, to me when I wear maxi skirts or dresses only flip flops or pumps will do. And it's far too cold to wear even pumps now, I like warm toasty feet! So how do you wear them?

I must go to sleep, ds has just had a 6 week sleep regression, that was fun, and he's just coming out the other side but I'm so used to being awake in the night I now can't sleep properly!

Salaam defuse

I have the opposite problem, I'm far from ample so love it that my scarf covers the non existent! I can see what you mean though with regards to a lot of clothing having detail around the chest area. That abaya sounds lovely, and what a bargain! My sil's wear the long kameez sometimes and look lovely in it, they're extremely fashionable and half my size in both height and width, the eldest one is size 6!! So I feel like bit of a giant compared to them.

Must sleep...

Assalamualaikum,

I always regard abayas as outer wear, so wear them when out and about, indoors at work I take it off, but I do tend to wear long dresses or long loose tunics over trousers, I also like skinny jeans and knee length boots, but the boots hide the fact I'm wearing jeans in a sea of suits.

I started wearing abayas since primary school when my parents bought me once back when they returned from hajj, haven't looked back since.

My hijab style is pretty much throwing it on and hoping it looks OK, I cannot be bothered to style my hijabs, I love looking at (admiring) the sisters who do but I have no patience myself.

I wear abaya all the time, because it is the easiest way to cover I think. I mostly wear black too but am trying to branch out into other colours. I just find black easier to match. I loved all those links posted above.

I have found a school now for my child to attend, alhamdulillah. It is not the best school in the area but it is a school at least.

Hope that everyone is ok. I don't really celebrate (is that the right word) mawlid. I suppose with some aspects of islam I take a strict viewpoint. But in other areas I am more liberal, even though I still think I am sinning when I am being liberal. Maybe it is because I am a revert, although I have mellowed since I first became muslim. So for example, I let my children draw humans and have toys that have images or cuddly toys or little figurines, but not sure if I believe it is right. And also I let them watch things on tv that have magic in them, again not sure it is right, think I am sinning. I know someone who keeps their children away from all of that and I feel a bit inadequate that I have not done the same.

Maybe it is my own hang up, but what do others do with their children?

Salaam ummshi glad you got your child a place in school. I find the process quite stressful too!

I share your views on mawlid and I also let my dc draw whatever they like. I have friends who dont watch harry potter (or read it). I am not so strict but admire their imaan and how they go about protecting it. Personally not watched it either. Not my cup of tea.

My dds like watching sofia the first on disney channel and I realised recently that sofia wears an amulet which lets her talk to animals. I am not too keen on the whole amulet stuff, so am hiping to get the dds away from watching sofia and onto something else. Will take some time though! Am writing this from my phone, so sorry about any typos.

I admire all the revert sisters. Really do. You are all so amazing mashallah. May Allah keep your imaan strong. Ameen.

I have to confess, I love fantasy, I grew up on the Chronicles of Narnia, the snow spider, box of delights etc and I want my girls to have that in their lives too. I don't think allowing them to read and watch (I don't have a TV) stuff like that makes them believe in magic, I rather think it gives them food for thought and inspires creativity, letting them reach beyond what is currently considered possible.

I always tell my girls that nothing is out of their reach, with hard work and absolute trust in Allah I expect they can reach beyond the moon should they choose inshallah.

Having said that I spent a long time hoping everytime I opened a wardrobe door to find an enternal winter land beyond....

My youngest has a whole plethora of cuddly toys, who all end up tucked in my bed at night and assorted Barbies and friends and the associated paraphenalia the vet stuff, the doctor stuff, the porsche the jet/yacht with swimming pool. I don't mind them playing with dolls and toys, I remember longing for a doll as a child, I'm not having my girls go thro that. Besides which I find it amusing watching them play with dolls and toys, there's an innocence about it which I hope they carry for a long time yet inshallah.

Umm I'm glad you found a school alhamdullilah.

I'm very relaxed when it comes to drawings, pictures, photos, cuddly toys etc. The only thing I don't allow is animals or people on clothing, or anything that looks like an eye. I bought a scarf from ebay a while back and it didn't really look like the picture! The print was like peacock feathers and so looked like it had eyes all over, that went straight in the charity bag. I also don't buy clothes that have slogans of any kind on them.

Fuzzy I love the chronicles of narnia. Dd1 went to the royal film premier of one of them, can't remember which but she could see the queens hair from where she was sitting!

Has anyone got any holidays booked for this year yet?

Interesting perspectives, thanks everyone for your views. I think that in the end it all comes down to getting the right balance really, give your children the knowledge of Allah and the religion, and hopefully anything else they come across will not deter them from the straight path.

Oooh crescent share a jinn story! I have never been told a jinn story so as a result, I fear humans more

Lost what is a holiday??!!
The last time I had one was with DH before my bundles of joy came along! I have ruled out any holidays abroad for another 5 years at least! I so need one now! I was saying to DH last night that he should go on hol and I will look after kids then when he comes back, I will go! DH not doing the deal!!

So true crescent what you say about evil of people wrt jealousy and envy. I have heard of some bizarre customs within some muslim communities for protecting their kids, especially newborn. I dont understand why they feel that the surahs from the quran arent enough.

Love your take on the jinn story crescent and so utterly sad what is happening in Central African Republic.

The first time i had ever heard of central african republic was on the programme 'pointless'. It is horrible what is happening there and if nothing is done soon, it will only escalate even further

My mum is really into talismans and taweez to ward off evil the eye, they're usually ayahs from the quran, I refuse to wear them on the grounds I am not walking into toilets etc carrying the word of Allah.

I've always maintained whatever happens is Qadr Allah and whatever passes me by was never for me.

I try and keep my farad and have utmost trust in Allah and take him as our Walee.

Having said that we do recite the quran every day, ayah ul Kursi and the three kuls abundantly and we listen to surah baqarah often, it is the antidote to sehr.

Someone once told me they were doing Itikaf in a Masjid during the last ten days of Ramadan, during the night when everyone was asleep this person (I honestly can't now remember who told me, whether a cousin or my dad or someone else), felt someone grab him by his foot and shake him calling to him to wake up to pray or he would miss the night, he was so terrified he curled up pulled up the blanket over his head and refused to look out let alone get up for prayer, he is convinced he missed the night of Laylatul Qadr. He said all the other people were asleep and he'd never seen the tall man dressed all in white before.
You here lots of Jinn stories about majids and madrassas.

Scaring myself now!

and that is atrocious spelling ..sorry.