Why do people get their children christened when they don't go to church or have any religious beliefs?

[sparkler1wantsaconservatory]

I have always wondered this. My dds have not been christened. I am a godmother to my friend's daughter but see my duties to her more of a way to be there for her as a good friend and someone to confide in if ever she chooses. I am unsure as to my own religious beliefs - bit of an atheist I guess. If my own daughters or goddaughter want to know anything about religion then I am willing to help them understand all sides and feel that they should be able to choose which path they want to take.
I find it very strange that people would go to all the effort to arrange a big do and actually have no beliefs at all. This may sound harsh but I think some people do it more for an excuse to party.

I am such a pollyanna about this...it's still a new Christian in the making...and a warm and genuine welcome from the congregation should always be offered. We've got several families now attending because their baby was baptised, and to be perfectly honest our church was until recently the archetypal granny-fest-with-hall-smelling-of-cabbage suburban C of E experience.
BUT the vicar used to be a teacher and is a total card, the grannies all adore babies, and as we don't "feed" a local church school we all know that the families who come forward to baptism at our church want on some level to be there.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.
Matthew 7:1

(Peachy runs for cover)

Blu, from what you have mentioned in the past I'd lay good money on your having to tip up to the font at ds' urgent request before too long

Marina - I've already chosen my hat!

Oooh, can I be Godmama and send him fun books about Teddy Horsley goes to Communion? Pretty please

peachy - biblical quotes don't upset those of us without a faith!

(Our old Vicar hated kids btw, should have been sacked,and it was a she also- so much for females and family values)

Not meant to either Tutter! Just a point for those who DO jusge and ARE religious!

One of my main reasons for not calling myself a Christian any more, the tendency towards being judgemental

Does Teddy Horsely not do anything more exciting?
Teddy Horsley Goes To Calgary?
But yes, you'd better do all that.

We have a spinster vicar and we are reaping the dividends of an allegedly child-hating vicar dad-of-three down the road.
I have to say we are refugees from our old church where the new vicar was cluelessly anti-family though It does happen and it hurts. We were married there and both dcs baptised there.

ah i see

yes - there was a lot of that where i grew up. some of the most staunch churchgoers were also the worst curtain-twitchers and gossipers...

He plays the tambourine in the service Blu [gag emoticon].
Ds and I agree that he is a big girl's blouse and both prefer the excellent Big Book of Bible Baddies.

I sadi further down but wills ay agin as a long thread, that DS1 (SN) was told off in front of a full Church on family service day for tapping his foot- repetitive actions are part of his disorder

And she refused to baptise loads of babies because the parents weren't religious enough- i thought it was about bringing poeple into the community of the Church, about the baby, not about whether in her opinion they were good enough (one family were monthly attenders)

He would have been very welcome in our church Peachy, where we have an adult worshipper who shouts a lot due to his severe learning disability. Not to mention a gaggle of lively squawky toddlers.

We had dd baptised in Ireland for a number of reasons. Firstly because my parents are catholic(my father studied to be a priest for 7 years before giving up at the last minute) and it meant a lot to them. Secondly because we wanted her to have a good spiritual base from which she could then make her mind up in later life.
Thirdly dd's half brothers and sisters are catholic and we felt it would be good for her to be the same. The fourth reason was that a catholic education in England(where we live anyhow) seems to be 'better' than the state schools.
The fifth reason was that we wanted to have a welcome to the world party for her.
Dp is agnostic and I am a lapsed catholic but we did what we thought was best for our dd's spiritual and educational future which is how a lot of parents see it I'm sure.

The priest who baptised dd knows that we don't practice but he also knows that we are spiritually aware people who have our dd's best interest at heart.

I think you ahve to assume that if people bother to get their children christened, there probably is some kind of residual religious belief or at least as Edam says, a kind of cultural solidarity. I don't really see what's wrong with that.

I also find it quite strange that the regulars should feel they have any right to question why others are in "their" church. Suffer little children and all that.

I do find it irritating when adults get married in a church though, when they're out and out atheists, just for the photos. But if you will have a church which is attached to the state, then of course it has to provide the services the state requires it to. Pretty shallow though. And probably Bridezillas. Won't wander into that territory though...

I normally stay away from the religious threads but as this is something that I can relate to.......

I am not religious (although I do believe in God and have 'beliefs') but when we are in a finacial position to, dp and I will get our dd christened.
Not because we would want to bring her up within a particular religion but for the following reasons:

1. I am very superstious and have been told that dd cannot visit a graveyard because she hasn't been christened. (evil spirits and all that)

2. The old 'Christened babies automatically get into heaven' If this is true then I want my dd to go there too. Again my superstious side coming out.

3. I was Christened as a baby. So was dp.

The only problem we are comming across is trying to decide which church to christen her in (Greek Othodox, like my family or Baptist church, like his family). Bit difficult to decided as either one will offend the other family and dp and I don't go to either.

Good point Caligula- actually 2 months before DS1 was baptised we were married in a civil ceremony, the pictures actually were lovely, it was a water mill with waterfalls and the like. So pics not an issue, but it is one thing wanting your child to be given the chance, another 'using' the Church

This has made me think a lot- and I remember that one of the mainr easons was that I felt very 'out' of it in Church as not baptised; didn't want that for my children.

Marina, sunds like you ahve a lovely church- the sort I would be tempted by. My experiences have left me feel very hardened against the Church- my herat wants to go but the mind says oh no you don't.

I didnt mean to be judgemental. But when people come over all religious and have their children baptised when they have no intention whatsoever to bring the children up in the church or even to try to impart some spiritual values to them, but purely because the nearest/'best' in whatever way primary school is desireable, then I think that is abusing the church.
At a baptism in my church (Scottish Episcopal) you have to affirm that you beleive in Christ as your Saviour and Lord, and that you will bring your child up to understand this. It is a promise I wouldn't want to make unless I totally beleived it, make a promise to God you weren't prepared to even try to keep? I do agree that people who are interested or connected to the church in any way should have the chance to bring their children into the church, whether they come regularly or not. But I would not make a promise to God (or, even if you like, to my peers, friends, family and children) that I knew I wasnt going to keep. Its the deliberate deception for a future possible benefit that annoys me. But then, I wouldn't have infant baptism at all, but a dedication or welcoming service as we had for our kids. We didn't have a family party, just a service with our congregation to welcome our children into the congregation.

Bubbelz - no Christian baptism is a 'charm' against evil. I can't think of any christians or churches I know who would beleive that.

Harrisey, you could do away with the phenomenon of people coming over all religious...purely because the nearest/'best' in whatever way primary school is desireable" by ensuring that the parent's religion is not a factor in access to schools.

There's been a recent thread on this issue; my feeling is that if my taxes contribute to the existence of a school, then my children should have equal access to it, irrespective of my religion, hair colour, race, etc. Yes there is something uncomfortable about parents suddenly getting religious when their kids are 4 because the only school in the area which produces literate children restricts its access to those children whose parents go to church; but the way to get round that, is not to tell those parents not to go to church, but to stop discriminatory admissions policies (and of course to ensure that all schools are acceptable to parents because they're all bothering to teach children properly).

"financial position to get your dd christened"? Bubblez, just go to your local church and get her booked in! It was free to have a child baptised the last time I checked.

more than that, I would do away with all religious schools - I dont think that it is right for education to be provided by a religiion - all of them! I'd get rid of CofE, Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, Jewish, and religion schools and make them all secular. Educating a child in religion should be the responsibility of the parents and community and not the school, IMO.

Agreed, although educating a child ABOUT religion (as in all of them, at the very least the 'big six') should be compulsory. Ours only teached christianity and Judaism (or as they put it, another chance to look at the Old Testament)

ABOUT religion not being the same or even remotley similar to, IN religion

I got DS baptised because my faith comes and goes, and I think that in the future, when he decides about his own beliefs, it would be easier to opt out than in.

I wanted the significance of the event to take priority rather than the do. So we concentrated in the significance of the ceremony and trying to create some "bonding" between the godaparents, who live away, and DS. We just told some friends at the last minute that DS was going to be baptised and that we would be at our home afterwards, and although I was not expecting anybody to show up, more than 30 persons went to the mass and came to celebrate with us afterwards! Not expected but it was a pleasant surprise though