Why do people get their children christened when they don't go to church or have any religious beliefs?

[sparkler1wantsaconservatory]

I have always wondered this. My dds have not been christened. I am a godmother to my friend's daughter but see my duties to her more of a way to be there for her as a good friend and someone to confide in if ever she chooses. I am unsure as to my own religious beliefs - bit of an atheist I guess. If my own daughters or goddaughter want to know anything about religion then I am willing to help them understand all sides and feel that they should be able to choose which path they want to take.
I find it very strange that people would go to all the effort to arrange a big do and actually have no beliefs at all. This may sound harsh but I think some people do it more for an excuse to party.

Agree with Hula - you've said it better than me but that's my opinion too

Hmmm. DS is not baptised - he has unofficial "ungodly parents" I'm afraid - they are people we think are good role models, and good friends to us who would help him if anything should ever happen. If he chooses to go to church when he's older, then that's up to him, and I would support whatever he chose.

I'm not sure that I could go to a christening and say the vows to become a god parent myself. Maybe that's why no-one's ever asked!!

We did get married in a church - v. hypocritical I suppose - we were very open with the vicar (who was a lovely lady) that we were not church goers, or even really believers, but she said she was glad to have people in the church to celebrate. I wanted to get married there because it was in the small village where I grew up, and that was how I had always wanted my wedding to be. Sorry if that offends anyone of faith, but as I say, we were at least open, and the vicar could have refused us.

I also don't think you need to be a believer to live in a christian way. After all, isn't it really about forgiveness, living together and doing unto others as you would have done unto you. I think I live that way anyway. Forgive me if I've got it wrong.

First commandment is about worshipping God, though, Claire!

I do understand that it is irritating for churchgoers to have non-attenders turning up on special occasions. But if we accept that Islam is a culture as well as a religion, why not Christianity?

ah yes, but I wasn't thinking of the 10 Commandments, I was thinking of a way of life - like you say about islam, which is fundamentally a peaceful religion and a whole way of life, as I understand it (and I'm not an expert..)

Oh so it's "irritating" to regular church attenders for non-church goers to attend these things is it? Very christianly of them!

Sparkler, I was saying that as a non-churchgoer myself - I can see that people like me turning up for the big occasions might irritate regular churchgoers. Doesn't give them the right to try to shut us out, but think irritation is understandable.

Let's hope they don't feel that way. Mind you I used to be a regular Sunday school attender when I was a kid - used to go to all the church youth groups etc. As I got older and went to college etc I didn't attend. I remember one christmas fancying going to a christmas service - I went along and all the people I remember speaking too in previous years completely blanked me out. It was horrible - I always think of them as being very two-faced now.

*to

It's definitely a school thing. I have friends who are not religious but christened their DD just in case they had problems getting her into a school in the future.

We haven't christened our DD and I have to say that I do worry about getting her into a good school because of this. Seems ridiculous but we live in a pay or pray neighbourhood.

I don't believe in convenient hypocrisy. We aren't married because I don't believe in marriage for women. I am agnostic and my son is not christened nor baptised. I was raised Catholic but am a committed agnostic.

What is agnostic? I wont have DD christened I want her to make her own choices but I do think there is a risk that this will be held against her in the near future.

agnostic = someone who feels it is all uncertain, un-pin-downable.

Have been drinking during Wimbledon, will find a proper definition

"Agnosticism is the philosophical view that the (truth) values of certain claims?particularly theological claims regarding the existence of God, gods, or deities?are unknown, inherently unknowable, or incoherent, and therefore, (some agnostics may go as far to say) irrelevant to life. The term and the related agnostic were coined by Thomas Henry Huxley in 1869, and are also used to describe those who are unconvinced or noncommittal about the existence of deities as well as other matters of religion. The word agnostic comes from the Greek a (without) and gnosis (knowledge). Agnosticism is not to be confused with a view specifically opposing the doctrine of gnosis and Gnosticism?these are religious concepts that are not generally related to agnosticism.
Agnosticism is distinct from, but compatible with, atheism. It is also compatible with theism. This is because agnosticism is a view about knowledge concerning God, whereas theism and atheism are beliefs (or lack thereof) concerning God. For example, it is possible to believe in God but to believe that knowledge about God is not obtainable.
Agnostics may claim that it is not possible to have absolute or certain spiritual knowledge or, alternatively, that while certainty may be possible, they personally have no such knowledge. Agnosticism in both cases involves some form of skepticism towards religious statements. Some claim that there is nothing distinctive in being an agnostic because even theists do not claim to know God exists, only to believe it, and many even agree there is room for doubt; and atheists in the broader sense do not claim to know there is no God, only not to believe in one."

Wikkipedia

I agree with nearly3, churches aren't exclusive Mayfair clubs, guarded by angels with flaming swords posted at the doors to keep people out. I think people worry too much that they might be seen to be hypocritical marking special days with a church ceremony if they're not usually active members of the congregation but I am sure that regular churchgoers are generally tolerant and relaxed about this.

My local church is very welcoming to newcomers, but are alsoe aware that lots of people christen their kids for education purposes ie to get into a decent school as religiuos schools tend to perform better.

We attend church every 2 weeks and ds goes to Sunday school and I really enjoy it, it's like a small community.

We HAVENT had our kids Christened because we are commited Christians. We want our children to have the choice themselves when they are older (as we didnt - both of us were baptised as infants adn kind of wish we hadn't been). I find the idea of people having their children christened in church in order to get into a school both dishonest and repellent. Why would you want a christian education for your children if you don't beleive?

i totally agree . i havent christened my 3 girls as i want them to be able to choice there beliefs and religion when they feel ready . i dont go to church and i have my own beliefs . it is very contradicting i think

I've been christened as has DB, mum/dad are not religious in teh respect thewy go to church, althou she did go to sunday school. I think it's more to do with mum why we were christened. her veiw was if we were christened when we died god would claim our soul, and we wouldn't be wondering. not my view but it's a nice thought.

we've talked about having Joey christened, but tbh neither DH nor I are church goes, I struggle with the christian beliefs, DH doesn't really have any as such. he's not been christened. it's doubtful we will get him done, eitehr way we'll wait I think till we have all of our children and then have them done in one ceremony.

for the most part both DB and I have been left to follow our own path of religion/beliefs. DH is very into greek myth, but not so much with christian. I think we'll be the same with Joey he'll follow his own path and make up his own mind, and if in a few years time he wants to go to sunday school/be confirmed/christened i'd never stop him nor stand in his way,

Sparkler - when you accepted the invitation to be a godmother did you attend the christening in a church? If it was a Cof E christening then you will have had to confirm that you believe in God and the Holy Trinity. Seems a bit of a strange thing to do if you are a "bit of an atheist".

I agree that it is repellane getting your kids baptised for school. RE the why would you want a Christian education- well, not everybody has a choice; in our case for exa,mple there is a village school that is C of W and that's it for the catchment. I am quite happy for the boys to go there, Christian philosophy is fine imo (and given my backgoround I am quite able to teach them the different religions LOL- am doing a degree in world religions) and I do feel glad they were baptized; I think they'd be at a disadvantage without it.

When judging poeple over Church attendance / Baptism / religiosity, I think there are a few factors: firstly religious choice at one time doesn't necessarily follow through- people could have been quite religious five tyears ago; Church attendance, as has been said is not an indicator of religious belief; and finally- wasn't Christ known for not judging people? Just a thought

I often wonder about this and the only answer I ever come up with is that they want some pretty pictures to look at, which at the end of the day is very sad.

Dh and I both refused to get married in a church because neither of us are religious even though our families are, I saw it as very hypocritical to suddenly find faith and a very picturesque church all in one go.

Ds will not be christened for the same reasons.

Just as an additional point even if I did have very strong religious beliefs I still would not have my children christened untill they were old enough to make the choice themselves. I would hate to think that in the future my children could be persecuted or harmed for a religion that was forced up on them by dh and I.

We are practising Christians and I tend to agree with nearlythree - it's about giving the baby a sacrament and blessing that the child can grow up with regardless of whether there is church attendance or active belief and prayer in its life.
We are always very happy to see babies of non-worshipping families baptised at our church and do our best to welcome the family without scaring them off.
sparkler, people who think it is OK to film practically up the vicar's nostrils with a camcorder, without asking, or make and take loud sweary mobile phone calls during an act of worship are irritating, though. How could they not be?

I wouldn't dream of having DS christened - but I think it's way over the top to call it 'thick and shallow'.
Those of us who are not religious are constantly (and correctly) reminded that historically and culturally this country has Christian roots. Lots of our customs are a seamless blend of religious and cultural. The cultural stuff does go deep, and our cultural events are often built on religious festivals. To people who live fairly conventional lives, it can feel like a big wrench to drop a family or cultural tradition.

And just ebcause people are not religious in a faith sense does not mean their values are not built around a Christian belief system, so people still feel an affinity with the philosophy of christianity - again because of the cultural structure of this country.

Churches often do have a great atmosphere and make you feel 'spiritual' - this is not because of the religion practised in them, but because of the architecture and decoration - the Pris mosque has the same effect - but that does make it attractive for people to experience serious events within them.

If we have unelected members of the church in gvt, you have to accept that other aspects of the church affect peopel in this country beyond the practising of faith.

I wouldn't get married in a church, DS will not be baptised until / unless he wishes to be, I will not be buried in a church...but I think it's a bit shallow to dismiss others' reasons for doing so.

the things you say in a christening - as a parent - are pretty crystal clear in terms of what you're committing to.

i just couldn't do it - would have been a blatant lie.