Why do people get their children christened when they don't go to church or have any religious beliefs?

[sparkler1wantsaconservatory]

I have always wondered this. My dds have not been christened. I am a godmother to my friend's daughter but see my duties to her more of a way to be there for her as a good friend and someone to confide in if ever she chooses. I am unsure as to my own religious beliefs - bit of an atheist I guess. If my own daughters or goddaughter want to know anything about religion then I am willing to help them understand all sides and feel that they should be able to choose which path they want to take.
I find it very strange that people would go to all the effort to arrange a big do and actually have no beliefs at all. This may sound harsh but I think some people do it more for an excuse to party.

[oliveoil]

we had both girls christened Catholic as it meant a huge amount to my inlaws to do so

Dh was brought up Catholic (extrmely lapsed)

I didn't really care either way and as it meant so much to my inlaws, they were christened.

[bubblez]

Harrisey - I wasn't offended by your comment in the slightest, I know that there are many people out there who would have said the same thing as you.

TBH I'm not entirely sure what religion dps family are all I know is that they worship in a church, with a priest (as apposed to a pastor) are Christians, they do child christenings, oh and thier christenings are free. The problem is that it's not a Greek Orthodox church so wouldn't be satisfactory for my side of the family IYSWIM.

Like I've said before though dp and I are not religious.

[harpsichordcarrier]

I am sure you're right, Tallulah. To be honest I think that the CofE shoudl try MUCH harder to be part of the local community in lots of places. I think that they should move heaven and earth to make their buildings work for everyone - including opening up for commercial uses. I know loads of churches that do this already - and they thrive.
Good for them.

[tallulah]

Quote "This is the flip side of the established church - it is there to serve the community and not just the regular church goers. "

That being the case, what would happen if everyone took that view and only went to church on special occasions? Why it would close, and would no longer being available for the casual visitor to use for their pretty photos and lavish party.

I used to be a regular churchgoer, and did get very fed up with the attitude of the families bringing their children to be christened. Almost without exception they seemed to think it was "their" day but wouldn't join in with the hymns, talked all the way through the service and looked down their noses at the regular congregation, especially if anyone tried to speak to them. This was at a very welcoming and very child-friendly church, so no excuse for their rudeness either.

[mousiemousie]

"more for an excuse to party"...and the problem with that would be???

[SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair]

PMSL !

Blaspheming infidel, surely?

[poisson]

heathens
i do think tho ugh that the churhc has a "social/community" role ( as of yore) in chirstenings

[Caligula]

LOL

What a very quaint word, Cod!

[poisson]

Why do people get their children christened when they don't go to church or have any religious beliefs?


for they are infidels

[harrisey]

I totally agree that if you are going to have for example CofE schools then the church should pay for them. I dont think the state should fund any religious schools. There should be education about religion but I dont like acts of worship in school and would never send my children to a religious school - and I am a pretty serious Christian. I prefer my children to get their teaching on Christianity from the church and from home.
Bubbelz - I think I would find it quite hard to live my life as superstitiously as you do, I dont think twice about walking under ladders or seeing a magpie. i dont think I had relaised how seriously people can take superstition and so I apologise if I was flippant about your beleifs, as they are obviously important to you. On another note, you would not be able to get dd baptised in a Baptist church as the Baptists do ot do Infant Baptism - they only do beleivers baptism of adults/teenagers. That's why they are 'baptists'. You would be able to have a dedication service but no water until full immersion at a later date when your dd asked for it herself.
And thanks for the info about the GO baptismal service. Sounds really interesting! A real community event! And also expensive by the sounds of things.

[bubblez]

soz baptist not baptise

[bubblez]

TBH I'm really not sure why they charge soo much money and I wouldn't like to comment as I would probably be very rude about it and offend ppl. (esp as the Greek churches are laced with gold ) Christenings are a big thing for Greeks and all the family would absolutely have to be invited 'or else'. (and I have a very big family so does dp)

I know that with the Greek Orthodox christenings there are many traditions that you have to uphold as well for the christening to be valid. Eg you can't do anything for your child for the whole day, the Godrents have to wash the LO and thier clothes for three days before sed christening and change them three times on the day. Plus the ceromony goes on for ages and involves oil cutting a lock of hair insence etc. Quite traumatic for the LO, IMO.

Baptise church would be so much simpler, cheaper and more in line with what we want but would break my familys hearts.

Now you know why dd isn't christened yet!! lol

I wonder what the rules are on getting your LO christened into more than one faith

[harpsichordcarrier]

Harrisey - I think it is an abuse of the position of the church to take tax payers money to pay for their schools and then discriminate against children on the grounds of their parents religion.
If the Church of England leadership would give up this unjustifiable position and either stop discriminating on the grounds of religion or start funding the schools themselves,
that would solve the problem too.
Religious discrimination on the tax-payer's pound makes my blood boileth over, sorry. But smuggery and judgmental attitudes on top of that are too much to bear frankly, and not imo very Christian.
To deal with the OP, I agree with Blu, Edam and Caligula on this. The reason is, ime, a cultural one, and a wish to give your child/ren what you have had (relationships with godparents, links int he community, something "just in case"). Human beings need ritual and ceremony - it's a basic need imo - and they like to mark the birth of a child and welcome into the family.
And just on a point of information, in England everyone has the legal right to be married in the parish church of the parish in which they live, irrespective of any religious views and whether they have been christened or not. And the same goes for baptism. This is the flip side of the established church - it is there to serve the community and not just the regular church goers.
By the way, all the vicars of my acquaintance (and there are a frightening number of them) tend to be very welcoming of parents in this situation. Good for them. Seems to me to be the Christian thing to do, rather than (ahem) start judging.

[Caligula]

Hmm. Well I'd go for the Baptists then Bubblez. Better value. (Not as glamorous though.)

[Marina]

Zoinks, I see your problem bubblez. Can I ask why that is?

[bubblez]

Marina - It costs £300 to get dd christened in the Greek orthodox church (neary died with when my nan told me that).


Harrisy - You and your congregation may not believe in things like that but when you have had it drumed into by other 'christian' family memebers that 'such'n'such' is the case then you can be forgiven for wanting to take the nessicary precautions. Esp as I'm superstitious anyway and believe in a 'higher being' or 'God' I don't want to be taking any chances.

I know that may sound silly (it even does to me sometimes) but it's like an uncontrolable feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me that I must do this.

BTW, It isn't only the christening thing that I am like this about eg, if I see a magpie I will tip my hat and say "good morning mr magpie sir say hello to your wife and kids", I never step on three drains and wouldn't dream of walking under a ladder, so as dd is not christened I will not take her through graveyards until she is.

[Chandra]

I got DS baptised because my faith comes and goes, and I think that in the future, when he decides about his own beliefs, it would be easier to opt out than in.

I wanted the significance of the event to take priority rather than the do. So we concentrated in the significance of the ceremony and trying to create some "bonding" between the godaparents, who live away, and DS. We just told some friends at the last minute that DS was going to be baptised and that we would be at our home afterwards, and although I was not expecting anybody to show up, more than 30 persons went to the mass and came to celebrate with us afterwards! Not expected but it was a pleasant surprise though

[SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair]

Agreed, although educating a child ABOUT religion (as in all of them, at the very least the 'big six') should be compulsory. Ours only teached christianity and Judaism (or as they put it, another chance to look at the Old Testament)

ABOUT religion not being the same or even remotley similar to, IN religion

[harrisey]

more than that, I would do away with all religious schools - I dont think that it is right for education to be provided by a religiion - all of them! I'd get rid of CofE, Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, Jewish, and religion schools and make them all secular. Educating a child in religion should be the responsibility of the parents and community and not the school, IMO.

[Marina]

"financial position to get your dd christened"? Bubblez, just go to your local church and get her booked in! It was free to have a child baptised the last time I checked.

[Caligula]

Harrisey, you could do away with the phenomenon of people coming over all religious...purely because the nearest/'best' in whatever way primary school is desireable" by ensuring that the parent's religion is not a factor in access to schools.

There's been a recent thread on this issue; my feeling is that if my taxes contribute to the existence of a school, then my children should have equal access to it, irrespective of my religion, hair colour, race, etc. Yes there is something uncomfortable about parents suddenly getting religious when their kids are 4 because the only school in the area which produces literate children restricts its access to those children whose parents go to church; but the way to get round that, is not to tell those parents not to go to church, but to stop discriminatory admissions policies (and of course to ensure that all schools are acceptable to parents because they're all bothering to teach children properly).

[harrisey]

Bubbelz - no Christian baptism is a 'charm' against evil. I can't think of any christians or churches I know who would beleive that.

[harrisey]

I didnt mean to be judgemental. But when people come over all religious and have their children baptised when they have no intention whatsoever to bring the children up in the church or even to try to impart some spiritual values to them, but purely because the nearest/'best' in whatever way primary school is desireable, then I think that is abusing the church.
At a baptism in my church (Scottish Episcopal) you have to affirm that you beleive in Christ as your Saviour and Lord, and that you will bring your child up to understand this. It is a promise I wouldn't want to make unless I totally beleived it, make a promise to God you weren't prepared to even try to keep? I do agree that people who are interested or connected to the church in any way should have the chance to bring their children into the church, whether they come regularly or not. But I would not make a promise to God (or, even if you like, to my peers, friends, family and children) that I knew I wasnt going to keep. Its the deliberate deception for a future possible benefit that annoys me. But then, I wouldn't have infant baptism at all, but a dedication or welcoming service as we had for our kids. We didn't have a family party, just a service with our congregation to welcome our children into the congregation.

[SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair]

Good point Caligula- actually 2 months before DS1 was baptised we were married in a civil ceremony, the pictures actually were lovely, it was a water mill with waterfalls and the like. So pics not an issue, but it is one thing wanting your child to be given the chance, another 'using' the Church


This has made me think a lot- and I remember that one of the mainr easons was that I felt very 'out' of it in Church as not baptised; didn't want that for my children.

Marina, sunds like you ahve a lovely church- the sort I would be tempted by. My experiences have left me feel very hardened against the Church- my herat wants to go but the mind says oh no you don't.

[bubblez]

I normally stay away from the religious threads but as this is something that I can relate to.......

I am not religious (although I do believe in God and have 'beliefs') but when we are in a finacial position to, dp and I will get our dd christened.
Not because we would want to bring her up within a particular religion but for the following reasons:

1. I am very superstious and have been told that dd cannot visit a graveyard because she hasn't been christened. (evil spirits and all that)
   
   
2. The old 'Christened babies automatically get into heaven' If this is true then I want my dd to go there too. Again my superstious side coming out.
   
   
3. I was Christened as a baby. So was dp.
   
   The only problem we are comming across is trying to decide which church to christen her in (Greek Othodox, like my family or Baptist church, like his family). Bit difficult to decided as either one will offend the other family and dp and I don't go to either.