Dog I don’t want and never asked for that I’m scared of

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Basicallly I don’t know what to do with a dog that I’m scared of and don’t want in my house.
My partner got the dog without asking because his friends dog had puppies. I’ve never owned a dog in my life and first as it was young it was fine.

then the dog got older and it’s a large dog, I don’t want to say the breed, but it’s big. I’m more of a cat person although I don’t have cats atm.
anyway my partner works away. Often I’m alone with the dog and my 3 youngest kids.

My eldest boys don’t live away but they’re often out wirh friends especially at the weekend.
They do come home in the evening obviously as they’re only 14 and 12. But then home they do the dog care because I am scared of the dog. They do the feed and walk etc. but weekends from around 11am to 11pm it’s all on me.

The dog isn’t super aggressive but he’s had his moments. I’m rambling I’m so sorry I’m just not sure what to do and where I can go. Partner doesn’t listen, my eldest kids like the dogs, youngest 3 are scared but may be because they’ve picked it up from me.
i don’t want the dog to be put to spew he’s only bitten twice within the family. No where will take him when I ask and say theyre full.
please can someone give advice and options I asked on FB groups and got bad things said and even mocking of my account photos and children which were just day to day photos and really unjustified thabjs

Who gives a shit about her relationship when her children are at risk?
I’m personally hugely uncomfortable that you have hysteria over the idea of a dog who is in a dangerous situation being PTS. There’s worse fates for an animal than death. This situation is never going to work for that dog or OPs family. And, back in the real world, there is 0 chance of rehoming this dog safely. A rescue won’t even take it.

I think someone breeding staffy mixes probably won’t follow this unspoken rule of accepting the puppies back in later life.

What does this man add to your home apart from disrespect and a large, dangerous dog that you are frightened of? It's a clear cut case of It's me or the dog. Either the dog is rehomed or, sadly, put to sleep or he and the dog move out.

Dogs Trust would not help me either. When I phoned the person I spoke to was sympathetic, but said although they would consider, it was by no means definite that they would help. And I would have to wait for any decision. She did speak to me at length and we both reached the conclusion that :
A) something had happened in the past to cause the issues, before I took him on.
And:
B) PTS was the best option as if he bit another person, I would probably be prosecuted.
I wasn't prepared to be prosecuted and didn't want anyone else to be put at risk.
Sometimes, there are no options.

She's said that the dog isn't an XL bully. Do you honestly think that every dog who has ever bitten someone gets put to sleep? What was I saying about mass hysteria. She's posted on the Internet and she's going to get her kids taken from her and get a custodial sentence?

Don't be absurd. Stop trying to frighten someone into getting the dog PTS. They clearly bought it from a breeder. It will very likely be chipped to that breeder and the sensible thing from the outset would have been to return it to them rather than try and rehome it to a complete stranger on Facebook

This is so unfair for you OP. You've had some good advice about the dog but you really do need to consider how 'good' the relationship is if he treats you with such disrespect

The dog has bitten your children more than once, and drawn blood. People like this are the reason thousands of people are hospitalised by dog bites every year, and dogs continue to kill. Do you want to be part of the statistics?

Ditch the partner if he won’t ditch the dog.

What is evident is a lack of respect for your feelings from your partner to you.
That is very bad in a relationship. Respect for each other counts for much. He is not respecting you.

Nobody should live with a dog they are scared of. I bet your other half wouldn’t.

You are intimidated by the dog, and I think your partner. What he says seems to count for more than what you say. Dog stays because he says so. Where is his respect for your feelings ?

I would certainly get rid of it. Biting is not okay. An accident waiting to happen.

You are too timid to stand up to your partner and would worry about a row in front of the dog. So talk to him outside of the house without the dog anywhere near.

I would literally say it is the dog or you that goes. Have never said that on Mumsnet before but I mean it here.

Or he can go with the dog perhaps that would be better !

It's not mass hysteria to suggest that the person responsible for a dog, may well be prosecuted if that dog bites another person. That is the legal situation. Knowing that the dog has already bitten makes it worse.

If you are scared of the dog, who has bitten both your 12 year old and 14 year old, yet you still rely on the 12 and 14 year old to do the dog care, you need to step up and prioritise those children (as well as your younger ones).

You are their parent.

Of course it's terrible for the dog and probably not the dog's fault, not evil, didn't ask to be put in a house with multiple children, owner who works away, other owner not a dog person. But it's a dog and children's safety trumps a dog every time.

If you put that dog to sleep behind your partners back then prepare for your relationship to be over. I personally would not forgive someone who did that without even a conversation.

Yes he's been irresponsible leaving the dog with you. But this dog isn't a pup. He's what age 2-3? You've had a dog for that length of time and you've left the care of it to two teenagers which is completely and utterly shocking

Then you go on Facebook behind your partners back trying to rehome it and you're going to get it PTS without telling him? You want to dump it at a police station because someone on here said so? Anything to avoid you having to make a responsible decision. You're in your 30s yes?

How do you think your kids are going to feel when you tell them you've had their dog PTS?

I will also say this. Please don't get another pet. There are too many people who just look for the easy option rather than try and deal with the problems they've created - and you've created this - because you've left the care of that dog to two teenagers. Five days a week. I hope you reflect on that before you decide to dump that dog at a police station.

And the person who told you to do that is giving terrible advice. The police are not set up to take in unwanted dogs and they could treat you doing that as abandonment - which is a criminal offence. You could end up under investigation if you decide to dump that dog and walk away.

Words actually fail me here.

Take it to the vet and PTS before it seriously injures someone or worse . Tell your crap partner it ran away if you dont want to get rid of him too.

The relationship is not fine if he got a dog without even asking you, you feel unable to tell him something as fundamental as you are scared of the dog and don't want it - despite the fact that it has bitten both of your children and is showing aggression. You called your partner an idiot. Frankly you both are. You have an aggressive dog in your home. Both of your kids have been bitten and despite insisting that you are not scared of your partner, you have not stepped up to say the dog has to go. It doesn't matter what breed it is, the biting and aggression are a problem.

What part of "his friend's dog had puppies" and 'nobody has any idea what breed it is', leads you to the conclusion that "they clearly got it from a breeder'?

They clearly didn't. Certainly not a reputable breeder. Far more likely that an irresponsible man wih no knowledge of or interest in dog training got a bull terrier mix of totally unknown background from an equally irresponsible friend who'd failed to get his dog spayed and was handing them out (probably too young) to any mate who'd have one.

Because the friend clearly bred their dogs for sale?

Only bitten twice ?

Well they do say third time is the charm, just hope it isn’t one of your kids, or your kids friends, or a random stranger on the street.

This isn't a person who has bought a pedigree spaniel from a reputable breeder. This is a back yard breeder who probably has no idea at all what breeds, if any actual breeds, were involved. His dog is probably kept in the shed with minimal human contact. So, can we please stop with the guilt tripping of the OP? She never wanted the bloody dog in the first place!

@SpryTaupeTurtle are you actually reading any of the OP's posts, or just leaping on the replies? You don't have to assume the dog's age - she told us. Just like she told us the circumstances in which it was acquired. Wipe the red mist from your eyes and try reading and responding to the actual situation.

You sit partner down and tell him the facts. You are scared of the dog, he's bitten twice, you're the one taking sole care of it, and you refuse to do it any more.
The dog needs to be gone within the week, or you're taking it to the vet to be put down as a dangerous dog.

Just as an aside, what on earth is a 12yo and 14yo doing out the house "with friends" until 11pm?? That's just asking for trouble IMO.

Explain where this is 'clear'.

Here's the exact sentence for you to analyse: "My partner got the dog without asking because his friends dog had puppies."

How does this information distinguish between 'reputable breeder', 'puppy farm', and 'irresponsible owner who didn't spayed his dog or keep an eye on her in the park'?

No doubt there’ll be the usual bleeding heart types on here saying ‘would you just get rid of your kids so quick’ but I’d get the bloody thing put down.

You need to either re-home the dog or find a doggy daycare centre to have the dog on days when your partner isn't there to deal with it. When you say it's a biter, do you mean aggressive unprovoked bites, or little snaps it made while still a puppy. If it's the former you should re-home it urgently and let the rehoming centre know if it's tendancies. Does your partner know it bites?

I’d expect your dog is an unhappy dog and it is not fair to keep it in this way.

It’s-probably not had proper training, has an inconsistent routine, will sense your fear, and won’t know what it is supposed to do or how to behave or what it’s place is in the household. It’s really unfair on it.

It’ll be no surprise if its behaviour is therefore not consistent or predictable. I feel really sorry for it as it’s not its fault it’s been put in the position.

It is still really young and learning about life. 17 months is the age when training really has to be consistent and enforced, and also the dog reassured as to its role and place in the family.

The dog needs to "go live at the farm."

Next time your husband is away for period of time, take the dog to the vet and have it put down, then cremated. When your husband returns, tell him the dog slipped its leash, ran away, got into traffic and was so badly injured it had to be put to sleep. Make sure your vet will back you up. Never, ever tell anyone else that you did this, not even your kids. And make it clear that if another dog comes into the house, you're leaving.