Horrible experience at vets

[Cottoncandy1983]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to get some people's experience on what I experienced today. My little dog is called mouse and she's 16. She's my world and I love and adore her. For the last few months she's had bouts of constipation and developed a large swelling on her rear end in the last month buts it got bigger in the last few weeks. She's always been very active and still is for her age, she bounds around, loves the garden and is full of life. Anyway I took her on my own today to the vets and they informed me that her swelling is cancer and that I should put her to sleep there and then. Now they never asked me if she had any symptoms or what her quality of life is, they just dropped that horrible bombshell on me while I was already sobbing. I refused as I know my dog and I know she is not at that stage yet by any means. We lost my mum's dog to cancer so I know what the end of life state is like. Has anyone else had this experience with the vets? Xx

Be kind to your dog and put your feelings to one side. It's horrible to have to make that decision but better too early than too late 💐

Agree with @PrincessofWells. It’s hard to face the facts, but at 16 your dog has outlived her life expectancy. Don’t let her suffer. You can end her pain now and deal with your grief. I’m sorry you had such bad news but do not let your emotions guide your actions.

I’m sorry to hear that about your dog OP, but I think it is kinder to listen to the vets and make that tough decision before pain from the cancer makes her miserable. At least have it in your mind so as soon as the dog shows signs of uncomfort, you can take her in quickly.

I am sorry you are going through this. The vet's job is to tell you the truth. You know you are focusing on the wrong thing, you are diverting the grief for your beloved dog into anger at the person delivering the news. The vet didn't really need to ask what her quality of life is, they are suggesting it's better to let her go in peace before she starts to suffer. I am sorry again, she is an incredible age. X

I'm sorry you're going through it-you could maybe go to see another vet to get a second opinion? We had almost the opposite of your situation, and from then on, we've made sure the dog is with 2 different vets. My dog was very ill, and when we took her, they gave some medication and said they'd be available to come to the house as an emergency, but when she deteriorated and we called, they didn't answer the emergency line for 3 hours, and when they did, said we'd have to take her to a place an hour away. We saw another vet, who was completely different. It might well be another vet says the same, but at least you'll know, and I hope they're sympathetic. You could ring and request an emergency appointment.

Yep, they immediately jumped to them wanting to kill my rabbit during a phone call, quoting the cost. It just turned my stomach. (ETA: it was already established during the call that my rabbit was not in any pain).

They do it because they get a chunk of money from you there and then.

They are businesses, and many vet practices are now owned and run by huge businesses.

You'll know instinctively what to do for your dog. I'm sorry the vet was so blunt and lacked 'bedside manner'.

In the nicest possible way, at this stage you need to put the welfare of the animal ahead of your own feelings. Do the right thing for your lovely dog. Much better to do it a week too early than a day too late. I know how hard it is; I've had to make that decision too many times and it always hurts.

I'm so sorry Mouse is ill. It's heartbreaking when our much loved animals are diagnosed with life-ending conditions.

Dogs mask their pain until it's unbearable. Take the next few days to say your goodbyes to your lovely Mouse, then take her to be kindly put to sleep.

I am so sorry for Mouse's illness, and your loss of your companion. The kind and loving thing to do is to prevent further suffering but it's so hard to do.

I had to make the same choices recently and I really feel for you.

You know your dog better than any vet. If you firmly believe he would be strong enough to survive treatment (ops, chemo, radiation etc) and come out the other side to still live a full and enriched life, my advice would be to insist on a second opinion - either at that practice or another one.

I’m owned 4 dogs since 2017 and luckily most vets I’ve dealt with have been excellent. I did have a poor experience when Logan, my rescue Belgian Malinois from Cyprus became very ill. This vet tried to railroad us into putting him to sleep there and then on the cold floor in an exam room. We gave Logan the choice if he want to come home with us and he leaned into me - crystal clear! Best decision as we got an extra day and night of snuggles and the chance to say proper goodbyes before the team came to put him to sleep in our home.

Advocate for your dear pup and I hope you get the best outcome xx

I’m so sorry to hear this and feel so much sympathy for you - kind words and gentle handling are needed at a time like this.

We got the same news back in January and we thought we would lose our gorgeous boy then, as the growth made him constipated and he was very distressed. He was 11 at the time, and fine in every other way apart from this awful diagnosis.

Fortunately, our lovely vet suggested that we try a daily dose of liquid cellulose to help keep him loose and it has worked a treat.

I know it isn’t a miracle cure, but we are cherishing every extra day we have with him now.

He has regular checks and the staff are delighted that he is doing so well, although I am also very conscious of watching for signs that he is unhappy or deteriorating in any way.

I wish you and your lovely dog well - speak to another vet if you feel you need to and I hope you get more understanding from them if you do.

I agree with @gillefc82 you know your dog better than anyone, I would get a second opinion from a different vet practice if you can, you can then make a more informed decision on the way forward. Have they done a biopsy?

No biopsy, no mention of any tests or anything. I just feel that sometimes elderly dogs are written off by the vets but they still deserve tests and treatment surely?

Im sorry to hear about your boy too but your experience has given me a tiny bit of hope when I really needed it. Thank you so much for sharing that. xx

@Cottoncandy1983 you did the right thing in saying no at the vets. You know your dog better than anyone. She would not be running around if she was in pain etc, so keep an eye on her and if she starts to suffer then do the right thing.

Please investigate what you can give her to help manage the tumour. I know they've made discoveries recent about certain supplements helping to fight cancer xxx

Sending a big hug.

Thank you for your support, that means a lot to me. I've got some pain medication from the vets which they charged me £50 for and I wasn't aware until I got to the desk. Sometimes it does seem a rip off from the vets but I will research on what I can get her. Xx

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and support. I will do everything I can to make sure she knows she's loved and that I won't let her suffer. Xx

Thank you, that is exactly how I felt and because it was such a shock and I was so upset I didn't know what was going on. I hope your rabbit is ok xx

I would definitely take Mouse to a different vet, get some proper tests done, when my dog had a lump they did a needle biopsy which was quick and simple, that was then sent for tests and came back clear and she was old at this time. If you don’t know exactly what you are dealing with you can’t make an informed decision, I think it’s awful that they haven’t done proper tests and have just told you to put her to sleep.

Hi OP,

I recently was bereaved of my 16 year old dog. I still miss her like crazy every day.

She had some behaviour changes starting in the spring and then started with occasional seizures in the summer. The vet suspected a brain tumour but as she was overall happy in herself we didn’t want to put her through tests etc at her age. She passed after a seizure where she was obviously left blind and lost a lot of mobility and we had to take her to the emergency vet then.

I wish you and I’m sure the beautiful Mouse the best but are further tests in Mouse’s best interest?

I’ve had this happen twice. Like doctors not all vets have good bedside manner. You need to get a second opinion and be strong and clear about supporting Mouse medically whilst she is at end of life. Tell them that although you WILL pts when the time is right, you would at this stage like to make sure that everything that can be done is being done. Ask for options and painkillers for Mouse.
One vet was absolutely brutal with me about how it was cruel to keep my elderly cat alive with cancer- she lasted, without pain for two more summers, but I have to admit that at the end my timing was wrong and she suffered 24 hours more than necessary. It is so difficult and my heart goes out to you.

So sorry you had this experience. My thoughts are with you and Mouse. I would go for a second opinion. Not around the cancer, but around the treatment. Have they biopsied, do they know what they are dealing with, whether it would respond to radiation treatment (though this can be expensive and may not prolong a dog's life, or it might). Spend a little time regrouping and shielding yourself emotionally, focus on some quality time with Mouse and then get back to the vets with your requests and work up a plan for this. I hope some of that helps.

If there is an independent vet clinic near you I would go to that one for a second opinion. My lovely vet clinic is about to become 4th in a chain and I am just dreading it.

Geez, most of the PP's are doing the exact same thing that OP is complaining about re the vet- telling OP to stop the pain and suffering, and put the dog to sleep. OP says the dog is not in pain or suffering. Does anyone read?

Sorry you had this experience OP.

Hi OP you may not need a second opinion as that is only extra stress to Mouse and to you. I'm so sorry you and Mouse are going through this. If Mouse is still happy and not in pain, not distressed then you know you have some more time.

But you will know when it is isn't good for her anymore. That's our job when the time comes to decide to not let our loved pets suffer more than they need to. Today is not that day, but you do know that Mouse has had some problems and is older.

It is one of the hardest things to do, but one of the most important parts. You will know when she is no longer happy or it's too much and as you love her you will make the right decision when you are ready.

The tests with a new vet will cost money and they or course will want to do their own tests to confirm the position, so it may not make sense to put Mouse through this. But only you know the best for this in terms of how much this may impact Mouse.

Most vets would not suggest the option you have been given automatically unless it was to relieve suffering (but as I say you will know how Mouse is day to day, so you get do decide) and I obviously don't know the history you have with the vets.

I am sending love and hugs to you and Mouse.

Our cat was written off by our previous vet. Not in a pts way, but he pretty much said he didn’t hold out much hope as she had end-stage kidney failure. Guess what, with the right diet she’s still here after 3 years. She was very ill at that point (was admitted for iv fluids/antibiotics), but they hadn’t even treated her when the vet initially said that.
We changed vets recently- dh took her in as she had a UTI - and he said the level of care was exceptional.
Def get a second opinion, but in my mind I’d never put an elderly pet through invasive treatment so sometimes PTS is the only option.