Page 4 | Horrible experience at vets

Cottoncandy1983 · 2025-11-26T00:00:21+00:00

Hi everyone, I just wanted to get some people's experience on what I experienced today. My little dog is called mouse and she's 16. She's my world and I love and adore her. For the last few months she's had bouts of constipation and developed a large swelling on her rear end in the last month buts it got bigger in the last few weeks. She's always been very active and still is for her age, she bounds around, loves the garden and is full of life. Anyway I took her on my own today to the vets and they informed me that her swelling is cancer and that I should put her to sleep there and then. Now they never asked me if she had any symptoms or what her quality of life is, they just dropped that horrible bombshell on me while I was already sobbing. I refused as I know my dog and I know she is not at that stage yet by any means. We lost my mum's dog to cancer so I know what the end of life state is like. Has anyone else had this experience with the vets? Xx

Stickytreacle · 27/11/2025 10:27

@Cottoncandy1983, I mentioned in a previous post that I lost a dog with this condition. I'm pretty sure your dog will be in discomfort at the bare minimum. If allowed to continue then Mouse faces a traumatic and painful existence until death. That's the reality and it's sensible not to be in denial. A full exam would be pointless when the issue is staring you in the face.
If you genuinely don't believe the vet, then get an appointment with a different vet today, but I doubt very much that home remedies are the way forwards.
Buying time is often for our benefit, not the animals.
I know it is heartbreaking and often shocking to have to face, but it is Mouse that needs to be put first.

Stickytreacle · 27/11/2025 10:35

MollyMollyMandy33 · 27/11/2025 10:15

But people can still respond kindly and supportively to the OP, even if they feel strongly. This is how people feel well supported and helped to make the right decision. Berating people going through this kind of hell achieves nothing. It makes the situation worse, compounds the upset and makes a decision far more difficult. Anyone who is claiming to be a ‘professional’ should understand this.

I would agree about natural death for pets. However, it often would be reasonable to try to manage pain and other symptoms for a short period, maybe even a day or two, to allow the owner to have some time to consider the advice and come to a conclusion. We were not in the consultation, but being given that news in what seems like a fairly direct way would be a huge shock to anyone. I’m not at all suprised that she feels as she does. Sometimes a holistic view has to be taken to ensure that the right outcome is supported for both the pet and the owner.

Depending on the situation, in humans, we often can now manage pain to a manageable level in a palliative situation.The issue is more that expert palliative care provision is so patchy. I agree about animals, but in a way it’s no different to anticipating the needs of a small child or someone with severe cognitive decline.

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You've also got to bear in mind that this would have been a consultation in which the vet only has ten to fifteen minutes to deal with the pet and client, and they probably get so worn down by owners expecting vets to save the unsavable, causing suffering in the process, while in the next appointment they could be being asked to euthanise a healthy unwanted animal.
Sometimes they have to be straight and to the point or owners are given false hope and clutch at any straws to keep going.

Original poster

Cottoncandy1983 · 27/11/2025 13:41

MollyMollyMandy33 · 27/11/2025 01:49

OP I just wanted to send you love and say that I’m so sorry that you are going through this with your little dog. I recently had my own dog, who we loved dearly, put to sleep as she had anal cancer; she was 17. We used a specialist palliative care vet who were kind and gentle at home and gave us the time and support we needed. It was so sad, but also so lovely. A completely different experience from pets who we have previously had put to sleep at the vet practice.
Ignore all of the unkind words about doing the right thing. It’s not helpful at times such as this. You will know in your heart that if she’s suffering, has no quality of life and her symptoms can’t be alleviated then saying goodbye is the right thing to do. You could ask if your vet would prescribe some pain relief or symptom control if appropriate and seek an urgent second opinion about her QOL or look into the option of saying goodbye at home. Whilst the diagnosis probably won’t change, sometimes vets do have different approaches. None of the people here have seen your little dog clinically so they can’t give helpful judgement on the situation and they shouldn’t be trying to do so.
Sending you and your little dog love. I hope that you can reach the right decision and find peace in it. X

Thank you so much for your kind words, they made me cry. It is an awful awful thing and I'm trying my hardest to do the right thing but I know when she is ready she will tell me. I don't think a cancer diagnosis always has to mean instant death, we handle things differently including animals. I've looked into the final goodbye at home and that is what I've decided as I've had an experience at the vets and it wasn't nice. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Cottoncandy1983 · 27/11/2025 14:50

Could I just ask, can i request a prescription from the vets and have it sent through email and is that how I purchase online? I'm not sure how it works. Xx

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bumptybum · 27/11/2025 15:07

ReadingSoManyThreads · 26/11/2025 00:41

Yep, they immediately jumped to them wanting to kill my rabbit during a phone call, quoting the cost. It just turned my stomach. (ETA: it was already established during the call that my rabbit was not in any pain).

They do it because they get a chunk of money from you there and then.

They are businesses, and many vet practices are now owned and run by huge businesses.

You'll know instinctively what to do for your dog. I'm sorry the vet was so blunt and lacked 'bedside manner'.

Edited

I don’t think everyone does instinctively’ know what the right thing to do is at all.

the saying is ‘better a week too early than a day too late’. They are not human. They do not have the same mental processes. Dragging it out just causes pain and suffering and that it cruel. At the end of their life all thoughts must be for them, not us. It is the hardest decision to make and many people if not most think they are like humans who can rationalise wanting to live long enough to say goodbyes and have last this and last that. They don’t. They are just suffering.

LucyMonth · 27/11/2025 15:50

I work with animals for a living (not a vet) and I have seen all sorts of cancer situations in all sorts of animals.

You may have seen the end of life cancer situation in your DMs dog but that does not at all mean that is a universal experience.

My cat had cancer and my vet said there was nothing they could do but manage any pain. They made it clear to me that immediate PTS would be an absolutely valid option but I could also take my cat home with my and “see it out”. They made it clear though that when his time to go came it would be brutal and I’d need to rush him to the vet ASAP or he’d suffer greatly.

In the end we took him home for a few weeks and once he started to withdraw more we immediately took him for PTS. We decided not to hold on until the last moment and have a horrible, rushed, stressful end. Plus the horror of he went alone and in horrendous pain while we were sleeping or at work etc.

They should absolutely have had a better bedside manner with you and explained everything fully. I encourage you to fully research your dogs cancer and not take your DMs (or anyone else’s) end of life experience as the playbook for what will happen with your little dog.

tsmainsqueeze · 27/11/2025 16:12

MollyMollyMandy33 · 27/11/2025 01:34

I’m shocked at your attitude as a ‘veterinary professional’, especially as you’ve never assessed this dog and are making judgements just on what the OP has shared. I’ve worked in animal rescue for many years as a volunteer and been involved in this kind of decision many times. I’m also a specialist clinician working in palliative care. For me, one of the fundamentals of this kind of situation is good communication and kindness. Perhaps you could show a little more understanding. Whilst the situation may well be that the little dog needs to be put to sleep to prevent any more suffering, there are ways of doing this that perhaps help the OP come to terms with it and supporting her too. Perhaps sending the little dog home overnight with some analgesia or arranging time and space urgently for some further discussion and explanation? Telling people that you are ‘shocked by their attitude’ when they are going through hell isn’t going to achieve anything but make them more upset and less able to make the right decision.

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Get your facts straight and read the whole posts my comments were in response to a pp not the op.
I have kept my opinion re the op to myself.

Original poster

Cottoncandy1983 · 27/11/2025 16:14

LucyMonth · 27/11/2025 15:50

I work with animals for a living (not a vet) and I have seen all sorts of cancer situations in all sorts of animals.

You may have seen the end of life cancer situation in your DMs dog but that does not at all mean that is a universal experience.

My cat had cancer and my vet said there was nothing they could do but manage any pain. They made it clear to me that immediate PTS would be an absolutely valid option but I could also take my cat home with my and “see it out”. They made it clear though that when his time to go came it would be brutal and I’d need to rush him to the vet ASAP or he’d suffer greatly.

In the end we took him home for a few weeks and once he started to withdraw more we immediately took him for PTS. We decided not to hold on until the last moment and have a horrible, rushed, stressful end. Plus the horror of he went alone and in horrendous pain while we were sleeping or at work etc.

They should absolutely have had a better bedside manner with you and explained everything fully. I encourage you to fully research your dogs cancer and not take your DMs (or anyone else’s) end of life experience as the playbook for what will happen with your little dog.

Thank you so much. I just wish that he hadn't treated me like that at such a vulnerable time. At the minute she's happy, she's playing with my mum's dog as usual and I'm checking closely for any tiny change.

OP posts:

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/11/2025 16:34

bumptybum · 27/11/2025 15:07

I don’t think everyone does instinctively’ know what the right thing to do is at all.

the saying is ‘better a week too early than a day too late’. They are not human. They do not have the same mental processes. Dragging it out just causes pain and suffering and that it cruel. At the end of their life all thoughts must be for them, not us. It is the hardest decision to make and many people if not most think they are like humans who can rationalise wanting to live long enough to say goodbyes and have last this and last that. They don’t. They are just suffering.

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I was reassuring the OP that she'll know instinctively what to do.

I wasn't talking about anyone else.