I thought I'd seen it all...

[Vroomfondleswaistcoat]

...but over on Facebook someone has repeatedly used 'cart' instead of 'can't'. Not just the once, which I could overlook, but continuously.

I may have to delete Facebook. And then burn my laptop.

I keep seeing ‘are’ instead of ‘our’. Really makes me cringe!

They must have seen my cat immediately after DP decided that it would be a great idea to clean the kitchen cupboards with Mr Sheen - without considering the potential consequences of spray drift.

Poor animal was definitely skiddish - as was I for a few (extremely sweary) moments before DP was summoned back to the kitchen to resolve the issue.

I've just seen Caracas for chicken carcass (on a thread about chicken soup).

Caracas is the capital city of Venezuela, not the dead body/bones of a chicken!

War mongerer
iller
worserer

In Poland I was amused to see decomposed chicken on the menu, when they meant deconstructed chicken, which sounded equally unappetising!

I've seen estate agents write 'sort after' in their listings on RightMove. Unbelievable really.

I saw walla on a thread on this board a day or so ago. I found it so funny I have used it a couple of times today as I couldn't stop laughing about it. It's stuck though. Kill me now. 🤦‍♂️

I have an accent and my voice message does this all the time?! 🙇🏻‍♀️

it's a great function on the phone when you can't use your fingers to type, but it needs further English lessons!! it mixes up all of the there/theyre/their type things as well as are/our, to/two/too and definitely needs lessons and punctuation!!

I tried to proofread it, but depending on the day I can't always manually fix it.

It comes out with some proper nonsense as well.

Ha!

Another from Nextdoor:

Does anyone no of any garages t rent in...

My sister uses gawjuss.
Just why?

I've never seen lone behold before today on here but have frequently seen low and behold.

I've also seen ano (I know) and anorl (and all or an' all, itself a colloquialism for as well). Horrendous!

Infidel for someone being unfaithful is brilliant! It makes a kind of sense, if fidelity is being faithful, doesn't it?

All I am reading about recently is outfits women are wearing for the ‘racers’ and I can’t cope.

Lone behold cropped up on a thread on here and you must have been able to hear the groan from Pedants' Corner as we all clocked it.

polly tunnle
couple off times
rocking hource😓

Jesus Christ.

I haven't actually seen this one, but I reckon it's only a matter of time: "He told me a cock and balls story."

I loathe been instead of being. As in my DH was been a pain. And Chester Draws. Obviously.

I have a confession. Because this is an anonymous forum I secretly enjoy not capitalising proper nouns. Sorry! 😁

Saw a new one on here the other day - “a loss cause”!

Ewe instead of you - has anyone seen this?

Quincy instead of quinsy used repeated in a post on here.

'Alot' instead of 'a lot' is becoming frighteningly common.

Someone was discussing their "polka straight" hair on here the other day.