Pismonunciations that drive you nuts

[GoodyGoodyGumdrops]

I'm sure you've all got your particular teeth-clenching, fingernails-on-blackboard nemesis.

Today's offering: they did "drawring" in Art.

I will break him of that habit. I will!

How is cervical (as in smear) pronounced? I've heard it with the stress on the 2nd syllable a lot lately, where it used to be on the 1st.

Serendipitously (I think that's a word) this Guardian article on pronunciation errors just came up in my On This Day on FB

There are 3576 comments on it. I think we need to up our game!

ath-a-lete instead of ath-lete

And there's a weather guy on the Today programme who says middle-lands instead of mid-lands

Lol, I spelt it wrong as well

I think quire/choir is a written one.

Re defiantly: still there is no excuse. Switch off autocorrect and proof read.

Today I have heard:
sang witch (sandwich)
unyun (onion)
thigh (Thai)

And also this (the 'th' as in Theo, not as in the)

thee-etta

We're going to see some poncy shite at the thee-etta.

Fucking call it the village hall if theatre is too tricky to get your mouth around.

I say unyun for onion

how should I be saying it? onyun? oh-ny-on? what?

On Judge Judy again, vee-hickle for vehicle .

Sloth instead of SlOth - ie the O should be as in O'clock. Sloth (with the o as in orange) is an Americanism which bluddie tv folk have grabbed on to (so my bro also tells me!). Has someone mentioned Skeduarll for schedule yet??!? HarASSSmernt instead of Harassment? Or the worst of the bloomin worst, tv folk pronouncing foreign place names with a put-on foreign accent - do French folk say Lundinn for London? No they bluddie don't!!!!!!!

How else do you say onion? I definitely pronounce it unyun. I don't think I've ever heard it said any other way

the deadly sin is slow-th but the animal is sl-oth - isn't it???

re schedule - why is it different from scheme? or school? or schism?

I've just scrolled down a long list of sch words & all the "sh" pronunciations are followed by a consonant. schedule seems to be the only one followed by a vowel which is officially a sh too (well, apart from schuss but that's not an English word anyway)

but I say skedule anyway

Hi was born and bred in the West of Ireland - we had a great teacher from the East End of London an art Teacher (Mr Smith if anyone is reading) he insisted on calling the cats tail a "towel" it took us ages to cop on to why a cat would have wanted a towel He was a brill art teacher

I'm totally confused about that one, lap dance, originally I thought they were both sl-oth, was told I was wrong and that they are slow-th/sl-oth, so changed the way I said them, Then I was told I was wrong and that they are both slow-th. So, which is it?

Skedule is Americarrn, shed-duel is Eeengleesh. Slow-th is the animal and the biblical too, not sloth as in orange. As a total aside, some of my London pals recently went to Liverpool for the weekend and the Liverpudlians queried if they actually WERE Londoners as they "don't speak like the folk in WretchEnders (Eastenders) - and cutely said ooh, are you from the posh bit of London?!? Obvsly accents affect the way words are said too and I gal I knew said to us London folk that we mispronounced her name as Sarrndra when it was Sand-drah. So I suppose its Horses For Courses!!!!

How on earth do you say onion if not "unyun"?
Incidentally, dh doesn't make many pronunciation errors (thank goodness), but he does say "da worf" for dwarf. Aibu to cut his head off?

Lapdance - there is absolutely no way you can reason or justify pronunciation of English words based on spelling patterns. It just doesn't work. Try doing it based on pronunciation of the letter combination "ough" .

Cough, through, thorough, though, rough, ought, drought.

One letter combination. Seven different sounds.

My husband says cattle when he means kettle. Drives me up the wall. He also says "plaaaaahstic" instead of plastic. Surely not even the Queen says plastic with a long A sound?

I'm going to a say this quietly, I can't work out how to say drawing without an r sound in the middle.

I believe that 'yorn' for yours is an old English word. My dad is from the West Country and uses a lot of dialect/old English words. He says yorn.

Oh yes, plarstic, elarstic, Glarsonbury.
I know people who say that.

Ivy, it's draw followed by ing. Draw-ing.

Like a kitten pawing.

Or a crow cawing.

Re pronunciation of words etc, does anyone remember this?
How is GHOTI pronounced? Its FISH!!!
GH from the end of the word Rough = F; O from the word Women = I and TI from the word Station (StaySHon).
Not sure but think it was to show how hard English can be!!!!!

Ambliance I know a man that says ' I saw an ambliance earlier' when in actual fact he saw an AMBULANCE- I have no idea how am-bu-lance can be difficult to pronounce

Ung-yin for onion, jamie oliver I am looking at you!

Sump-thing for something.

Raaaazzzbry for raspberry

A teacher I used to work with says 'exscape' instead of 'escape' - drove me mad!

From what I'm reading many of these are dialect issues - as a Yorkshire lass moving to live with my Londoner DP I'm. Ow terrified of being judged for saying 'niyke' and 'skedule' .. also 'add-eee-das' - I'm sorry but it's my natural pronunciation and if you judge me I think you're a toff dickhead.