@DeskJotter the issue is that you don’t know what a perfectly appropriate book for their 4yr old is.
I never said ‘no presents’ for ours. I did say no tv/movies on play dates. And the parents they visited understood and respected it. They had seen some of mine have a wobbly when things went wrong. There was a film, I think about a U at the cinema, and I nearly took them out partway through because the ‘mild peril’ in the intense atmosphere of the cinema was too much.
We only watched films at home, with me with them, after that. It meant we could pause, go for a drink and a biscuit, and finish later.
If you haven’t parented ND kids, or kids with a trauma history, then you won’t understand how an age appropriate book could cause a problem. Maybe it’s about a dog and they had to leave their dog at their last home/saw dad kick the dog to death. Maybe it’s about a lost toy (velvet bear?) and they have left all their belongings in their old house and moved with nothing but the clothes they stood up in and a bike helmet.
You have no clue about the history of other 4yr olds.
Respect the decision of adults who do. It’s possible they are kill joy posh people whose dc have already had a book this year. Or… there’s a good reason you aren’t aware of.
My first class as an NQT had a boy with some unusual behaviours. At the end of the year they told me he was adopted and they’d been told he’d never manage mainstream. I really wish I’d known. There were things I could have done differently.